brianlion Reviews

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (2000)

Rocky and Bull--- Movie

[1/10 · 31 March 2009]

Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Movie should never have been made. A complete waste of acting, time, money and paper. With who the producers had on board for this production, it should have carried over to the movie, but it never did. This film sure doesn't do the cartoon series justice. Just stupid, silly dialog, annoying characters, and the insertion of the cartoon characters into the movie doesn't help. It just looked like a desperate attempt to salvage a already sinking ship. The actors seemed to think they needed to over act like cartoon characters in a cartoon movie. Whatever- it didn't work for me. I expect some quality, and I never saw it. The movie was rocky, and the bull part...- I agree with that part of the title.

The Flintstones (1994)

Takes Movies back To the Stone Age

[1/10 · 31 March 2009]

The movie just doesn't translate from the original cartoon series. It's like trying to reheat pizza. It just isn't as good as when it was hot the first time. And I can do without seeing Rosie O'Donnell in a one piece bareback skin tight outfit- yuk. What was with Fred Flintone wearing what looks like a rolex watch. It's like he forgot to take the watch off before the shot, and the director said, "Oh, well, shoot it anyway." I know kids are going to enjoy this movie, but for many of us adults who accompany our kids to the movie, it was a challenge to sit through this. I've never seen Barney look so goofy in my life. I'll take the cartoon every single time.

The Cat in the Hat (2003)

Receiving a 1 Is Too Good For This Movie

[1/10 · 31 March 2009]

Thankfully, I did not pay to watch this Mike Myers presentation in the movie theater. I suffered through about half of the movie in my home. So, to be quite frank, I cannot tell you how the second half of the movie goes or how it ends. It is immaterial. Thankfully, I was also not watching this movie (I use that term loosely) on a airline flight. I just may have asked for a parachute and taken my chances. This movie was a piece of crap from the opening credits. i will not bother to look up the names of the supporting casts, because they do not deserve to be looked up for anything, except maybe to have their acting cards revolved. Yes, i understand they were just reading their lines. Oh, man, do I realize they were just reading their lines. It begins and ends with Myers. I usually enjoy his work. I don't understand what he was thinking or doing. Possibly, he read too many of his press clippings and thought he could just throw out anything and the public would buy it. I hope he lost money because this project doesn't deserve to earn anything positive. The kids in this piece of garbage were very annoying, and very amateurish. A total waste of time, money and film.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

Usually Like Kevin James But ...(And It's a Big But-Pun Intended)

[5/10 · 31 March 2009]

I am a big Kevin James fan from watching him on "The King of Queens", but, this movie was really uneven. I'll give Kevin his props. He was pretty agile, and on the motorized cart he was good on that- whatever it is called. But the story line was slow at times, and sometimes just downright silly-stupid. I enjoyed seeing all the old crew from the "King of Queens" episodes. In fact, it would have been nice to see Jerry Stiller make a small cameo. That would have helped. I just got the feeling from watching some of the scenes, they weren't worked out as well as they should have been. And the script itself needed some over haul, especially the ending. I did laugh at a few pranks, but I didn't connect with the girl who played his daughter, for starters. That was bad casting there. Some scenes appeared rushed, or just didn't fit the flow of the movie. It just seemed the director and producer said to Kevin, "well, it's not great, but , what the heck, it's done, I laughed, let's go to the next shot." We kind of felt like that when we left the theater. "it's not that great, but what the heck. I laughed at a few things. Let's move on." Chances are, if you haven't seen this movie, you'll say the same thing.

Ruby and Oswald (1978 TV Movie)

Important In Spite of Itself

[9/10 · 9 March 2008]

I enjoyed watching this movie despite some bad acting, and ridiculous location scenes. The reason is the movie captured on celluloid forever some of the landmarks of one of the most historic events of the twentieth century. Landmark locations, such as the ramp at police headquarters, inside Oswald's boarding house, and inside the Texas Schoolbook Depository lunchroom, were filmed. Many of these iconic locations of the JFK Assassination are unreachable by the public, and may be gone someday. The Sixth Floor, for example, has been forever renovated and much different than that day in November, 1963. So the movie is important from that aspect, and it is remarkable that many locations in 1978 looked so similar to 1963. Also, I believe the script got the dialogue between Oswald and the police correct. It is difficult to say for sure, since no recording of the Oswald interrogation was done. But recollections by those there in 1963 match what the film portrayed. I also thought the Oswald character in this movie got the Oswald mannerisms down pretty well. Other characters from this historic event also were matched close to the real characters, although the Ruth Paine character did not even closely resemble her. But for history buffs like myself, I would rather have this in my archives than not have it.

Halloween (2007)

This contains no Spoiler. Unless you include the movie itself

[1/10 · 1 February 2008]

It is obvious after watching the newest version of Halloween, that many directors and producers don't have a clue how to make a true movie. They start with mindless, un- clever scripts, use nudity and profanity when they get stuck, and throw in some gore for shock value. The producers of this film need to sit down and quietly watch the original Halloween. No blood, no graphic rape scene, no yapping and swearing to fill the scene. This Rob Zombie attempt falls way short, and is a disgrace. Hey Rob, did your friends and family swell up with pride watching each scene unfold, complete with profanity, graphic nudity and a feeling of nastiness through out the movie. What a waste of my money and my time.

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

5 words: Raquel Welsh In A Bikini

[5/10 · 14 September 2007]

The summary says it all. Watching the lovely Raquel in a prehistoric bikini is excuse enough to watch the movie. I don't remember anything else about the movie. It's funny to watch movies like this because the actresses have manicured nails and styled hair. The Ringo Starr movie is another example. But when this movie shows up on TV, I can't help but watch it. It's like watching a train wreck, but what a beautiful way to die. Raquel is beautiful. She probably still is. I think she only had one line in the entire movie. I first saw it as a kid, and still remember it. Cable hasn't shown it in years. Let's hope they show it again.

The Out-of-Towners (1999)

Steve Martin is a Lemon, Not Jack Lemmon

[3/10 · 18 October 2004]

Anyone who is a fan of the original movie will be disappointed by the effort (or lack there of) by Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn in this 1999 remake. The 1970 movie starring, Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis, is a classic. Lemmon should have at least been considered for a Academy Award for his performance. Steve Martin is a lemon, not Jack Lemmon, in this newer version. Goldie Hawn certainly is not golden. They both over act and over react in almost every scene. The key to being effective in a comedy is to deliver funny lines in a serious manner, and trust the script. Not make it so evident to the viewing audience that "this is where you laugh now." Watch both movies, starting with the 1970 original. When you compare the 1999 version with the classic, you'll drive away with the 1970 model. "The Out of Towners" is out of sync.

The Rock (1996)

DON'T BE TOO HARD ON THE ROCK

[8/10 · 26 November 2002]

If you want an entertaining movie, "The Rock" will do. Sean Connery plays a James Bond character, and Nicolas Cage gives his usual performance. The setting is great and San Francisco is a nice back drop. I did have a few problems with the film. In the age of Ebay, Cage's character buys the Beatles "White Album" for way too much. The Ed Harris character really cops out when he and his men decide to launch a missle. They take hostages, kill several people, and risk all to see their demands met. When the opportunity arises, they bluff and do not carry out their threats. If they were not prepared to pull the trigger, why go to the extreme in the first place? Nicolas Cage also has a bad acting habit of emphasising the last word of every sentence. He does that in about every movie. Lose that, Cage. This is not a great movie, but don't be too hard on "The Rock". There are enough standard car chases, explosions, and mayhem to keep me entertained.

A Christmas Story (1983)

AFTER THE 100TH SHOWING THIS YEAR, IT LOSES SOMETHING

[7/10 · 26 November 2002]

I like "A Christmas Story", but I don't give it the cult endorsement so many tend to around the holidays. It has become a little watered down because it is shown so many times during the Christmas season. Some stations even have "A Christmas Story" marathon. It is a pleasant little holiday movie showing us a window on the 1940's. I felt Darren McGavin was a little annoying as the father, and the mother Melinda Dillon was a bit too ditsey. Peter Billingsley had a cherubic face which helped sell alot of the scenes. The best part of the movie for me was the narrator, Jean Shepherd. His voice was perfect, and had a comedic tone to it throughout the movie. His voice-overs were well written, and the narration gave "A Christmas Story" a uniqueness. Being set at Christmas time doesn't hurt either.

The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974 TV Movie)

A CHILD'S PRODUCTION FOR ADULTS

[9/10 · 26 November 2002]

This is a very cute little holiday treasure. Mickey Rooney is terrific as Kris Kringle. The production gives a clear and rationale explanation of how Kris Kringle becomes Santa Clause. It is clever and very well delivered. The supporting cast of characters are not ominous or annoying. The music and songs are great. They have a sing along quality. All ages should enjoy this holiday classic.

The Princess Bride (1987)

A SLEEPER HIT

[7/10 · 18 November 2002]

We were pleasantly surprised with "The Princess Bride". This is a very cleverly written movie. Also, it is obvious that the direction and acting had to be cleverly and skillfully done. The actors do not "try" to be funny. They trust the script. Actors who try to ham it up, even with a funny script (Milton Berle, for example), water down the humor of the scene. I found myself chuckling at many lines and situations. The casting is wonderful, and the cast and direction of Rob Reiner make the time period work. This production took some risks, but the gutsy move pays off with a definite sleeper hit.

Way Out West (1937)

The 1st Great Comedy Team

[8/10 · 16 November 2002]

I am a sucker for Laurel and Hardy. My youngest son used to call them the "funny guys". This is one of their best works that I have been able to find. They used to be on Saturday morning TV a lot, but they are kind of fading away. It's too bad, because the new generation would appreciate their comedy. Like the Marx Brothers, they were ahead of their time. This black and white movie from the 1930's is a time capsule on movie production of that time. It has all the classic Laural and Hardy mannerisms which are so charming. The story line and dialogue are simplistic at times, but it is still entertaining. It is movie history from some of the fore bearers of movie comedy.

Vacation (1983)

YOU MAY NEED A VACATION AFTER THIS VACATION

[7/10 · 15 November 2002]

This is not a great movie, but it delivers enough laughs to satisfy me. It is a little dated watching it now. Chevy Chase goofs enough to bring chuckles at times. It's good, clean fun. John Candy has a small part, but isn't particularly funny. Harold Ramis also has a small part, and he delivers some funny moments as a used car salesman. I have had enough bad experiences to appreciate some of the moments from this movie. After this vacation, you may need to take another vacation to recuperate. If you are expecting a classic comedy, you will be disappointed. I got what I expected, and enjoyed the movie.

Quick Change (1990)

BOZO THE CLOWN WITH A TWIST

[8/10 · 14 November 2002]

I'm surprised "Quick Change" is not rated higher by the voters of IMDB because I found Bill Murray at his best. Some of his quips and retorts are great. My movie group found this a very funny movie. And what a great idea for robbing a bank.

The Fly (1986)

A GUY, A GIRL AND A FLY: A LOVE TRIANGLE

[8/10 · 14 November 2002]

This is probably Jeff Goldblum's most compelling role. He got into shape, and had the major role. This film was well done, and fluctuated between a love story, a science fiction movie and a horror story. I found this idea of transportation interesting. The movie is off-beat, but entertaining and well done. It's somethimes refreshing to see a script that is clever and goes off the beaten path of other cookie cutter Hollywood productions. Gina Davis seems to gravitate towards these kinds of roles. It makes you look at the fly at a different angle, especially when they are preparing to eat something (like a donut).

Porky's (1981)

FOR A HIGH SCHOOL PRODUCTION- NOT BAD

[6/10 · 14 November 2002]

This movie has all the appearances of being a class project at the local high school. Hey, I'll give this school project an "A". It certainly isn't quality Hollywood material, but pretty good for a bunch of teenagers. The movie has some memorable moments. The shower scene with the beaver shots is every teen guys dream. Kim Cattrell shows her real talent. The characters are likeable and there are enough gags and goofs to keep me interested. The acting, surprisingly, isn't that bad. I'm just wondering who Mike Hunt is.

Same Time, Next Year (1978)

THE DAYS GO BY SLOWLY, THE YEARS GO BY QUICKLY

[7/10 · 14 November 2002]

Flipping through the channels one day, I "accidentally" came across this movie. I kept watching, more out of boredom than anything else. I got engrossed in the movie, as a laid-off husband would do watching a soap opera everyday. I'm not a big fan of Alan Alda or Ellen Burstyn, but they have good chemistry together. It was interesting seeing the changes in both of them through the years. I think the changes in personality, beliefs and clothing styles kept me interested in "Same Time, Next Year". It's a bit of a under rated movie, but entertaining nontheless.

The House Without a Christmas Tree (1972 TV Movie)

TALK ABOUT A HIDDEN GEM, THIS IS ONE

[9/10 · 14 November 2002]

I first watched "A House Without A Christmas Tree" as a 15 year old when it originally aired in 1972. Years later, around the holidays I thought about this TV movie and wondered if it would ever be aired again. I had not seen it in over 35 years! I was happily surprised when I saw it on a late night broadcast. Jason Robards played the role beautifully, and Lisa Lucas plays his impetuous daughter. What ever happen to her? I have not recognized her in any other role. Anyway, this is a hidden gem of a movie. It moves at a steady pace, and has many moments that reminds me of my childhood in a small town.

West Side Story (1961)

A GOOD MOVIE- FOR A MUSICAL

[9/10 · 14 November 2002]

For a musical, "West Side Story" is a good movie. Living in a age where action movies are best received, I am not a big fan of musicals. I liken it to a sports fan trying to appreciate the opera. But, I enjoy this movie every time I view it. As a kid I thought it was a great movie ruined by the gang singing and prancing around. As an adult, I now appreciate the dancing moves and vocal skills of the cast. And the songs are memorable. I find myself singing the songs after watching the movie. The story line is compelling and the film is well cast.

JFK (1991)

BUY THE VIDEO AND FAST FORWARD TO THE GOOD STUFF

[6/10 · 13 November 2002]

Being someone who admired JFK, and as a student of November 22, 1963, I looked forward to this movie with great anticipation. I left the theatre in 1992 with mixed reviews of the movie. Kevin Costner's Cajun accent is very annoying, and I was not impressed with his performance. Some of the scenes are ridiculous, or just plain stupid. There are shots of Costner (as Jim Garrison) sitting at the dinner table, spoon feeding the family dog. Bedroom shots of Costner and Sissy Spacek passionately kissing in bed, then discussing Oswald's marine career. There is a unnecessary scene with Joe Pecsi, Kevin Bacon and Tommy Lee Jones. They are having gay romp, which absolutely detracts from the movie. There were so many other ideas they could have incorporated. I thought the scenes which dealt with the events in Dealey Plaza were compelling. It showed different views, angles and eyewitness accounts. I felt Oliver Stone was fair in his attempt to give different viewpoints and opinions. It was when the film diverted to events outside of Dealy Plaza that Oliver Stone failed. Since I now own this movie on video, I have the benefit of fast forwarding PAST THE FLUFF to the good stuff. The autposy scenes have a authentic look to them and are compelling to watch. Some of the scenes are shot very fast, and you have to be a historian to know which were the actual photographs from that day, and which were re-shot for the movie. In the final analysis, I believe Oswald acted alone. And I believe this movie could have been alot better if they had not tried to introduce unrelated items into it. Introduce new evidence, yes. Keep Hollywood bedroom scenes for another movie.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966 TV Movie)

YOU'RE A GREAT ONE, MR GRINCH

[10/10 · 13 November 2002]

This is a truly great production. The songs are unique and have a sing-along quality that instantly make you happy. The silly, clever rhyming of the script is filled with phrases that you repeat throughout the day. "Roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least!" is my favorite. Dr Seuss and his quality crew developed a classic. The movie version of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" does not even come close to matching the genius and appeal of this cartoon.

Help! (1965)

BEATLEMANIA PART 2

[8/10 · 13 November 2002]

"Help" is a nice companion movie to "A Hard Days Night". It is filmed in color, and while it doesn't have the classic look of black and white "Hard Days Night", the script is better, and the Beatles appear more relaxed acting. The music is very good. Ringo, often in the background during in concerts and on recordings, proves he is the best actor of the Fab Four. Paul, John and George come across the screen as genuine and charismatic. "Help!" is filmed in different locations as well, which add to the film's quality. To me, the Beatles are the greatest rock group in history. Before there was MTV, there was "A Hard Days Night" and "Help!". Nothing in music can top that.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965 TV Movie)

AS GOOD AS IT GETS

[10/10 · 13 November 2002]

"A Charlie Brown Christmas" is a cartoon for children, but speaking as an adult, I love this little film. I have ever since I was a child, and I watch it every holiday with my wife and children. It is obvious the producers and actors took great care to make a quality product. Charles Shultz added to his legacy with this 60 minute film.

A Hard Day's Night (1964)

WHY THEY CALLED IT BEATLEMANIA

[8/10 · 13 November 2002]

Yes, the acting is pretty cheeky, but it's the music that makes this black and white film so memorable. The Beatles are in the heyday. They come across on the screen as very charming and charismatic. But it is when they pick up their guitars that the artistry and talent really shine through. They were entertainers, not necessarily good actors. Ringo does show some promise as he did not seem as self conscience as John, Paul or George. This was Beatlemania, put together in a documentary format by Richard Lester. The movie being in black and white doesn't hurt either, as it gives the film a timeless feel. In an age before there were rock and roll videos, it is great to have this recorded piece of history on a group that became a phenomenon.