Criti-Size Reviews

Fat Actress (2005)

Fat Obnoxious Actress

[23 March 2005]

I found the opening show hard to watch, not because of Kirstie's looks but her character. She whines and groans about her appearance and rolls around on the floor in misery, then later she's stuffing her face in her car while shouting racial comments that no one can hear but us.

The supporting cast seemed lost and served no real purpose and the laughs were few and far between. The only highlight of the show was the cameo appearances by John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston.

Unless there is a drastic improvement in the scripts, this will be a short-lived series as Alley is not able to carry the whole show on her own.

The North Avenue Irregulars (1979)

Dated Disney Fare

[6/10 · 4 October 2004]

This is a case of how comedy movies don't always stand the test of time. I saw this when I was a child and thought it was hilarious but upon a recent viewing, there are only a few funny moments.

Cloris Leachman (with extra long fingernails) definitely steals the show. Also look for Alan Hale Jr. who played the Skipper on "Gilligan's Island" as well as an uncredited appearance by Joan Hackett.

The film is good family fun overall and while the pacing is good,the ending is predictable and holds no surprises but alas, this is representative of most Disney movies from the 60's and 70's.

Rates a 6/10

Airport 1975 (1974)

Oh, please help us!!

[4/10 · 4 October 2004]

What more can be said of this disaster flick that hasn't already been said before. If it weren't for the "Airplane!" spoof series of films, the reviews here wouldn't be as bad (or numerous). It's fun to watch now because of all of the comedic references, but don't get me wrong, it's not a "good" film.

It is one long, drawn-out soap opera in-the-sky, complete with over the top performances by most of the well known cast. Karen Black steals the film (she can have it) as the panic-stricken stewardess who attempts to land the plane when "disaster" strikes.

Save your time and just watch Airplane! instead and there'll be tears of laughter instead of tears of boredom.

4/10

Die! Die! My Darling! (1965)

Entertaining Performances

[6/10 · 8 September 2004]

Tallullah Bankhead plays a religious zealot with a no-nonsense attitude in this mediocre film.

When her late son's former fiancée, Patricia (played by a young Stefanie Powers) comes to visit, Tallu...I mean Mrs. Trefoile ends up keeping her captive in her home in order to cleanse her soul and ultimately preserve the memory of her son.

This is a film made back when older actresses were making their way into thrillers playing various hag-type roles and it seems fitting that Tallulah should join the ranks. In what turned out to be her final leading role in a film, she puts in a no-holds barred performance here.

I noticed the on cover of the DVD they have added a french manicure to Stefanie's nails, which are rather short in the movie!!

6/10

20th Century Masters: The Best of Olivia Newton-John - The DVD Collection (2004 Video)

Olivia in her prime

[8/10 · 26 August 2004]

This is a great, although small collection of videos from the talented Aussie singer/actress that is sure to please long-time fans since they have never been available commercially until now. For me, the best part of the collection are the clips of Olivia during the photo shoot for her "Totally Hot" LP from 1978.

It's definitely worth the price just to see her in black spandex walking around town singing "Totally Hot" which I had never seen before...These were filmed long before MTV came along and changed the face of music.

There are only five videos in the set: "Physical," "A Little More Love," "Deeper Than the Night," "Heart Attack," and "Totally Hot".

Millennium (1989)

Good "B" Film

[8/10 · 18 August 2004]

This film is not as bad as the comments here indicate. Good premise and a few comedic touches enhance this time travel tale starring Cheryl Ladd (who, in my opinion is an very underrated actress) and Kris Kristofferson. I have to admit that although the (not so) special effects could have been better and the last line at the end should have been left out, it's still a memorable film that will entertain most time travel fans. Exterior scenes were filmed in Toronto although the setting is supposed to be Minneapolis.

I wasn't expecting much so maybe that's why I enjoyed it.

"Take a chance, Louise"

7/10

Cabin Fever (2002)

Waste of Time

[3/10 · 4 August 2004]

This films major liability is the completely illogical script which contains no suspense despite what should have been a claustrophobic setting. Add to this amateurish directing, mediocre acting and mindless, vulgar dialogue and then throw in plot holes the size of the universe and you have a poorly done horror film. It also has a lame ending ripped off from the classic "Night of The Living Dead" which is no surprise considering there is nothing original here anyway.

The films only asset is the young, up-and-coming cast which the producers must have thought would detract from the missing storyline.

Towards the end you realize nothing is done to explain the source of the infection, the relevance of the weird locals as well as the partying cop but by now we've completely lost interest.

Well, all we can do now is hope the sequels will be better.

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Good Time Travel Flick

[8/10 · 4 August 2004]

I have to say I was impressed with Ashton Kutcher in this movie. He was very good in the lead role and also had his hand in the production of the film...not bad for a twenty-something year old and a far cry better than that "Dude" movie!! I always liked time travel movies and this was no exception. Good visuals and acting as well as some clever plot twists enhance this story about a man who discovers he can going back in time and alter tragic events to try to help his childhood friends.

Though not a unique story, it holds up and keeps the audience entertained right to the end.

Speaking of the end, there are two versions on the DVD. I thought the theatrical version was the better of the two but maybe it just depends on which version you watch first.

Escape from New York (1981)

Great Flick

[8/10 · 16 July 2004]

Kurt Russell turns in a great, low-key performance in this terrific action film which looks better than ever on the latest DVD release.

It's a very dark film, visually but still holds up after all these years.

Ernest Borgnine plays one of his better roles as Cabbie and director John Carpenter is in top form here.

The effects are pretty good considering the budget and the time period and the story is up to par for a sci-fi flick. I looked forward to the sequel which was okay but not as good as the original despite the bigger budget. Maybe they will make an updated version since this film has attained cult status.

8 out of 10.

Airplane! (1980)

Best Disaster Film Parody

[8/10 · 16 July 2004]

This was a laugh-a-minute movie that has inspired countless other parodies like Scary Movie, etc. I first saw Airplane! at the theater and the audience laughed so much we kept missing the next few lines so when I saw it on video it was like a whole new experience. There is a lot happening in the background that you will catch on repeated viewings.

People who don't find this movie funny probably haven't seen the films it is poking fun at, like any of the Airport movies (especially Airport '75).

Leslie Nielson's career "took off" in a different direction and he is now more famous for his comedic performances than his past work as a dramatic actor. No one delivers lines in deadpan style better.

8/10

The Usual Suspects (1995)

Not to be missed!

[9/10 · 7 February 2004]

This is a great film from start to finish. Terrific cast and outstanding performances. I can see why this film sits high in the Top 250.

Watch it now!

Vacation (1983)

Fun Cross-Country Excursion

[7/10 · 7 February 2004]

This was a fun movie about a family vacation gone awry which spawned several sequels. Some of the humour is a bit dated but overall there are lots of laughs throughout. Great title track by Lindsay Buckingham. I'd give this film a 7 out of 10.

Sudden Fury (1975)

Anti-Hollywood 70's melodrama

[8/10 · 7 February 2004]

I found this film to be unusual in the sense that it wasn't a predictable, hollywood-type film complete with the obligitory happy ending. Tension builds slowly as the struggle between good and evil takes some unexpected turns. Low budget and largely unknown but well done.

Jackass: The Movie (2002)

If you like "Cops" and "Jerry Springer" then you'll love it

[1/10 · 28 January 2004]

This "movie" is not recommended to anyone with an IQ higher than that of a house plant. If you like child-like, gross-out humor, then it is a must-see, others should avoid at all costs. Rates a 1 out of 10

(I would have given it 2/10 if they had all killed themselves in a stunt-gone-wrong at the end, thus preventing a possible sequel)

Twister (I) (1996)

"Left...Right...Left..."

[4/10 · 28 January 2004]

This really is a disaster film from start to finish, or should I say disastrous. Completely unbelievable plot, lame acting by Ms. Hunt, who we don't see much of anymore (hmmm?). That leaves the special effects, which are not enough to make it worth seeing.

Wasn't it amazing how the debris fell in front of the truck alternating from Right to Left....pure cinematic magic!!

West Side Story (1961)

Terrific Music-al

[8/10 · 28 January 2004]

Great music + great acting + great dancing = GREAT MOVIE!!

A true film classic. This is a remarkable film which is a must-see for anybody who enjoys musicals. It is basically a "Romeo & Juliet" story set to music which boasts a very talented cast and crew.

The War of the Roses (1989)

How Do You Like Your Comedy: DARK!

[7/10 · 26 January 2004]

Though it may not be up to everyones taste, due to the fact that this is a black comedy, it works well thanks to great performances by Douglas and Turner as the eternally bickering couple.

Provides a great view into the world of marriage and divorce that young people should be made to watch before taking their vows, if only to show how NOT to treat your spouse.

Great anti-Hollywood ending.

Working Girl (1988)

go Melanie!

[7/10 · 26 January 2004]

This was a fun movie where the audience is rooting for the 'underdog' played by Melanie Griffith. This film has a great cast and is a must-see for anyone who has ever worked in a office environment. Watch for Joan Cusack who almost steals the film.

The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

All-Star MOR Movie

[6/10 · 26 January 2004]

Despite the great cast, this is a mediocre film that overall was a bit disappointing. It would have benefited from a better script and also suffers pacing problems midway through.

There are some memorable scenes: including the "cherries" and Alexandra's (Cher) verbal assault on Daryl (Jack Nicholson, who is wonderfully cast as the devil).

6/10

Xanadu (1980)

Great Soundtrack...weak film.

[5/10 · 26 January 2004]

This is a movie for fans of Olivia Newton-John but the real star is the music. The acting is a bit wooden (along with Livvey's rollerskating abilities) and there is no on-screen chemistry between the lead actors.

My favorite part is the Olivia/Tubes number when the "old" blends with the "new" as well as the cartoon sequence.

Still, the film is enjoyable to watch for the whole family, if not taken too seriously.

What's Up, Doc? (1972)

Great Slapstick Film

[10/10 · 26 January 2004]

This is a terrific film for admirers of slapstick-styled comedies of the 1930's. O'Neal and Streisand are excellent in their roles but for me, Madeline Kahn steals the show as "Eunice", the doting (or is it nagging) fiancee.

The younger crowd may not enjoy it due to the fact that comedies can be a bit dated, but there is lots of fun and laughs throughout and a memorable chase scene in a VW Beetle.

Wait Until Dark (1967)

Tense Thriller

[8/10 · 26 January 2004]

I saw this film when I was a kid and was too young to understand the plot but I remember it was a very intense experience. After seeing it recently on DVD, I realized what a great thriller this is. Instead of relying on gimmicks, this film is all about our senses and how we make use of them.

Hepburn is excellent as the blind heroine but be prepared, as the tension builds to an exciting climax, you will jump out of your seat.

Best watched in the dark!!

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

If Ever a Movie Deserved a 10/10

[10/10 · 26 January 2004]

This is a family favorite that we all grew up watching. There aren't too many films that are able to stand the test of time and still be loved year after year by each new generation. As a child, I can remember how scary the Wicked Witch of the West was. After watching this movie recently on DVD it is apparent this classic will live on for years to come. As they say, "they don't make 'em like this anymore".

10/10

Ape (1976)

Lowest budget ever??

[1/10 · 12 January 2004]

This was intended to be a serious movie which came out at the same time as the big budget remake of KING KONG. I remember as a kid, reading the poster in line at the theater which stated "not to be confused with King Kong", which is hilarious in itself. I ended up walking out (after the dumb guy in the ape suit wrestles the plastic shark in the pool scene) near the beginning and got a refund.

If they spent more than $50.00 to make this movie, they were fools.

You will be too if you watch this piece of crap.

Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

Elizabeth Shue shines! (ok, sorry...)

[4 January 2004]

Fun, family friendly movie features good performances and a well paced, enjoyable plot. Definitely worth a look, especially for Shue's turn as a likeable babysitter who encounters one unusual situation after another with her young charges in tow.