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Reviews
Clownhouse (1989)
One of the best horror films of the 80's
* * out of 4.
Three brothers are all alone in their big old dark house. They make popcorn, tell ghost stories, watch scary movies and then try to scare each other silly playing pranks on each other. However, three patients at a nearby asylum have escaped and are dropping by disguised as clowns from the local carnival.
Director Victor Salva was convicted of molesting the young lead of the film. Apparantly the kid was scarred enough to hardly ever work again in Hollywood and always protests the releases of new Salva films. Once you get past this little bit of history, you're in for a real treat. This is one of those horror films that reaches back to the horror films of yesteryear. It's rustic and atmospheric. The scariest element to the film is you never know what is going to happen because everything takes place in the dark. Victor Salva does a very good job of building up the suspense and pulling neat camera tricks out of his hat to introduce the suspense. This is a very good tell me a scary story kind of film.
Home Sweet Home (1981)
No Stars out of 4.
Another killer. Another group of victims. Only this time around the story takes place on Thanksgiving to a Spanish family. The opening of this film suggest where in for one heck of a ride. The opening takes no prisioners in the selection of it's victims, it's brutal and it's even tacky, but it shows a lot of promise. After the opening though, the film settles into predictability. The film's pacing is dramatically slowed down, with your standard stalking scenes and routine murder sequences. A total washout.
The In Crowd (2000)
* out of 4.
Surf, sand, sex and MURDER! Welcome to an exclusive country club where the kids play to the brink of dawn, but an outsider turns their luxuary life inside out. And then all of a sudden some pesky "accidents" and mysterious killings start bothering the club too.
Trash, trash, and more trash. Despite a PG-13 rating, this film pushes the rating as far as it can possibly go. You're not watching this kind of film expecting Hamlet or anything. It's filled with sexy bodies doing sexy things and for that this film is a total success. Susan Ward is an absolute delight in her role and steals every scene she is in. And director Mary Lambert plays up to the trashy aspects of the story perfectly and keeps things moving along quickly and swiftly. A ton of fun.
Habit (1995)
* * out of 4.
Bar manager / lush whose life is collapsing around him thinks he may have a chance for a better life when he falls in love, but then he notices that his girlfriend likes to bite and drink blood. As the relationship grows more sexual, the more paranoid he is about her being a vampire.
Fresh take on the vampire legend offers new ideas and is well made on an ultra low budget. It has strong character development and is presented in a realistic manner. The sexual scenes in the film also make you wonder, was it real of faked?
Pledge Night (1988)
NO STARS out of four.
A frat house is attacked by the ghost of a pledge that was accidently killed years ago during a prank on pledge night. Never has homosexual undertones ran so rampant in a slasher film. The guys are given spankings throughout, forced to particpate in all kinds of sadomaschtic activity, wear jockstraps, and have various objects put up their anus. Anyway, back to the film's merits, which it doesn't have any of. It doesn't have scares, the humor falls flat and despite attempts to be creative with the murder sequences, the lackluster direction stops them from working.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
Well I think this is a first....
NO STARS out of four.
The ghost of the killer from the first film is now a rock n' roll star with a drill extending from the neck of his guitar. At first he haunts the dreams of Courtney Bates (one of the survivors of the first entry), then he begins to rip her friends to shreds.
Done purely for camp value, but pretty boring untill the unexciting, but goofy climax. The gore is cheap looking, the humor is lame and there's not enough T & A for this sort of film. The climax as silly as it is, moves at a lightening pace, features musical and dance numbers along with exciting chase sequences and it's fun to boot!
Wishmaster (1997)
NO STARS out of four.
Evil genie is released from thousands of years of imprisonment and must grant three wishes to the person who released him in order to gain world domination. No plot to speak of. Just a series of creative murders and some really awful acting. Robert Englund who appears here in a supporting role looks embarrassed.
Misery (1990)
1 star out of four.
Kathy Bates is at the top of her game here in an Oscar winning performance as a demented fan who holds a novelist hostage until he changes the ending to an upcoming novel after she rescues him from a near fatal car crash. Uneventful, over long this would have been far more effective as a short instead of as a feature length film. Other then Bates, there really isn't much to recommand about it.
Zombi 2 (1979)
NO STARS out of four.
Unauthorized, unnecessary entry into the George A. Romero zombie films. This time around black magic and voodoo has risen the dead from their graves. The director is a low rent Mario Bava wanna be. This film and the direction lack one original idea. The zombies are given nothing new to do and the make-up effects are cheap looking and unconvincing. A total waste of time and effort.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
1 Star out of four.
Teenagers traveling through Texas to attend a funeral run into a cannibalistic chainsaw wielding family who sell some of the remains as BBQ at a nearby gas station. Skimpy story, paper thin characters, but pretty darn scary. Simple, effective, to the point, but not the brilliant classic most of it's fans would have you to believe.
Click on my name for additional horror movie reviews. Rating system: No stars is F to D+. One star is C- to C+. Two stars is B- to B+. Three stars is A- or an A. Four stars is an A+.
The Ring (2002)
No stars out of four
Female journalist stumbles across a video tape which claims the lives of it's viewers exactly seven days after they watched it. In a desperate attempt to save her life, she tries to track down the source behind the tape and find out how the tape is causing all of these deaths. The premise is old hat, but it does feature a creepy opening sequence and some suspense. However, as the film comes towards it's finale it grows sillier and beats the viewer upside the head to explain everything.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Three stars out of four.
A psychologist with a marriage that is falling to pieces and some other demons in his closet tries to put those problems aside and help a troubled young boy with a most unusual secret; he claims to see dead people. A bit disjointed, but it features some fine acting, a terrific ending and it is deeply moving & touching at times.
The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
One star out of four.
Unpopular teenager at her high school falls in love with the star football player. He also falls in love with her, but his friends set up a cruel prank on her and she seeks revenge by killing all of them. Nothing original here, nor anything very memorable. This so called sequel follows the exact story line of the first Carrie, but it is well acted & made.
Day of the Dead (1985)
No stars out of four.
A small group of human survivors connected with the army lock themselves underground in a military fortress while zombies plague the streets looking for flesh to eat. Stylish opening sequence, violent finale, but the rest of the film is slow paced, simple minded and really serves no purpose. The characters are not appealing and most of the actors over act in attempt to see who could yell the loudest. A huge disappointment.
Creepshow (1982)
No stars out of four.
Five tales of terror from the masters of horror Stephen King and George A. Romero adapated from the popular comic book. The tales involve revenge, a deadly beast, a comet with unusual powers, and killer bugs. Even though it tries to remain true to the style of the comic, this is a fatally over long effort with some nasty humor and plenty of over the top acting.
The Howling (1981)
Three stars out of four.
Reporter that was attacked by a crazed fan is sent off to a small village to get away from it all by her psychologist, but the place also happens to be populated with a hungry pack of werewolves. Especially memorable for it's state of the art effects, this colorfully directed chiller has some in joke humor thrown in for horror buffs and features an above average cast. As good as films of it's kind get.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
One star out of four.
Two backpackers traveling through London fall prey to a werewolf one late foggy night. One of them survives, while the other carries the curse of the werewolf. And during every full moon he turns into a wolf and embarks on a murdering spree. Extremely uneven outing changes tone and style far too often at the expense of the viewer. It is noteworthy for some fine effects though.
Friday the 13th (1980)
No stars out of four.
Bunch of teenagers preparing to open up a cursed camp that was plagued by murders in the 1950's fall prey to a killer with a big sharp knife. No narrative, no characterization, just one murder scene after another. The director certainly knows how to deliver the goods in terms of gore, but other then that this film is totally devoid of standard cinematic devices. However, it was able to ring the box office bell and spawn nine sequels to date.
Phantasm (1979)
No stars out of four.
Young kid runs across a conspiracy involving a funeral home worker who steals corpses for his own sinster purposes. He enlist the help of his brother and friend to find out exactly what is happening and how to put an end to it all. Plenty of boo and jump scenes, but little else. Poorly made film with a nearly incoherent story and little logic.
Massacre at Central High (1976)
No stars out of four.
High school student who was crippled as the result of some bullies who have token over the school gets revenge by killing them all. However, once he gets his revenge he discovers the students who were the former victims of the bullies are no better then their terrorizers. Obscure, violent little thriller with an attractive cast and plenty of goofy dialogue. Mildly entertaining, but no classic.
Don't Look Now (1973)
Four stars out of four.
Young couple who escape to Venice after the death of their young daughter are contacted by two psychics who claim that the daughter is trying to reach her mother and father from beyond the grave. And then the father starts seeing someone that looks like his daughter roaming the streets.......
Impressively mounted chiller with a violent finale and a fine eye for detail is by far and away one of the best films the genre has to offer. It features first rate performances from the entire cast and dazzling direction. And instead of just going for cheap scares like most other films, it takes the time to develop character and add on layers of suspense and terror.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
No stars out of four.
The horror genre hits an all time low with this over rated mess of a film involving two teenage girls who are kidnapped, raped and murdered by a group of local thugs. However, the thugs come under attack by one of the girl's parents. If it wasn't so violent and cruel this film could have been rather funny. There are awful country western music songs, illogical dialogue & situations, inept direction, amatuer night performances, and unnecessary comic relief from a very embarrassed looking Martin Kove.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
One star out of four.
Boogey man returns to haunt his kid sister twenty years after the events that took place in the original Halloween film. There really isn't anything to separate this entry into the popular franchise from the other 6 previous films or any other slasher film for that matter, other then a very fine performance from Jamie Lee Curtis.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
No stars out of four.
Dream demon haunts the dreams of the local teenagers, but if the teen dies in their dream, they end up dying in real life. This ended up grossing millions at the box office and features a great film premise. However, the special effects are cheap looking, the script is full of cliches & errors, and the performances are below par.
Halloween (1978)
One star out of four.
Modern day slasher about a young man returning to his home town 15 years after murdering his older sister to murder a small group of friends supposedly without motive or reason. Another unmemorable film that made a killing at the box office. Other then above par direction, there really isn't anything that makes this any different from the countless sequels and films that it spawned. The final frame is totally unnecessary.