jjs402 Reviews

Miracle (2004)

What you see is what you get.

[16 February 2004]

This is a pretty good inspirational reality movie. I think it compares to something like Apollo 13 more than some other sports movies. Russell is great as a low-key, but highly motivated Herb Brooks.

I thought the movie was best in the early and middle going. Ironically, the actual "Miracle game" had very confused game action. The earlier games seemed clearer.

Another bigger disappointment was the new play-by-play by Al Michaels. Michaels is actually a pretty good hockey PBP guy because he uses the range in his voice to convey intensity and action. During the live call of the 1980 game (back in 1980) Michael's voice tone said as much as his choice of words. But in the movie, he's so monotone and unenthusiastic that it's a let down. It would have been better to use clips from the ABC broadcast in 1980.

Anyway, Miracle is a good values movie for the whole family. The kids won't appreciate the kind of US that existed in the late 70's. They also won't get the elevation of the players from rival individuals to a united, dedicated team. (The underlying message to the citizens of the country is a little too subtly presented to stick.) But some day your kids will understand.

50 First Dates (2004)

Sandler and Barrymore are a natural pair.

[7/10 · 14 February 2004]

I have a generally low regard to Adam Sandler's work on SNL and Drew Barrymore is more cute than she is an actress. But once again, these two put together a movie that was fun to watch.

When I enjoyed The Wedding Singer I figured it was a fluke. But Dates is even better. The early part seemed like an intended ripoff of Groundhog Day. But then the style and story diverges. Some of the stuff is "laugh out of control" funny. (But some bits flop and should have been fixed pre-release.)

If you hate Sandler and someone tries to get you to see the movie, do it. You might still hate Sandler, but you'll like the movie.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

How could they screw up a Charlie's Angel movie?

[1/10 · 17 November 2003]

I really liked the first movie -- classic CA updated.

But CA FT has NOTHING. No plot, no humor, no acting, no interesting special effects, no good music.

I like looking at pretty girls, but this crew was annoying.

I'd give it a zero if I could.

If you liked the first movie, watch it again.

As for Full Throttle, don't bother.

Daredevil (2003)

Jennifer should have used an "alias".

[1 March 2003]

My wife and I went to the movie really wanting to like it. We enjoy Jennifer Garner on Alias -- the only broadcast show we regularly watch. Ben Affleck seems like a nice guy, but he's been in such horrible movies, like Pearl Harbor, so I had low expectations from him.

The movie starts slow and sometimes flirts with real character development, only to leave you wishing for more. JG does her usual job of commanding any scene she's in, just like in Catch Me If You Can. But, she seems to get the short end of the screenplay in terms of development and screen time. Meanwhile, Affleck again demonstrates that he was absent on the day they taught "expression" in acting school. Thinking back, it's amazing that EVERY other speaking character in the movie was head and shoulders above Affleck in terms of acting.

In the end, this _is_ a comic book story, so the plot problems and excesses in physics are acceptable. The lack of development and the acting black hole in the title character are more disturbing. The violence in the movie makes it "not for the kiddies", but it's not like Matrix, so the preteens should be able to tolerate it.

Unless you're dying to see Jennifer and/or Ben on the big screen, wait for a rental.

I give it 5/10.

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

Here's a do-it-yourself B:E vs S

[9 February 2003]

Start out with the Lucy Liu character. Wear a long coat and slacks everywhere you go. Look into a mirror and erase every expression you have. Speak about once every few hours.

Then you can do the Banderas character. Don't shave. Muss your hair. Put 15 jumbo olives in your mouth when you speak. Shuffle when you walk.

Oh yeah special effects. Let the gas on your stove run for about 10 seconds without lighting it. Then light it. Say "Boom". Repeat 100 times.

You can get a copy of the script really easy: Buy 10 comic books. Tear a couple of pages out of each one and staple the pieces together. Be sure that they don't fit too well together. They don't even have to be right side up.

If you do this, you won't need to rent this stinker.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[27 October 2002]

Boooooo-ring.

I tried to read the books several times long ago. Too boring. Maybe I just like science fiction more than supernatural fantasy.

If you read and liked the books, you should like this movie.

Otherwizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Training Day (2001)

Much ado about not much.

[15 September 2002]

First, I'll state I'm a big fan of Denzel Washington. I really enjoy his movies. That's why this is a bit of a disappointment. I'm very surprised that this got him the Oscar. He's had so many better roles and movies.

The movie wanted to be realistic, but the story is unbelievable. There's no way a savvy Alonzo, with so much at risk, would have involved a total wildcard like Jake.

Even if you go along the plot, none of the characters are that gripping. I didn't care about anyone in the movie, except for a couple of kids.

I'd say 4 out of 10 stars.

Minority Report (2002)

A very underrated movie.

[9/10 · 4 August 2002]

First, I'm not a natural Steven Spielberg fan and I'm not a Tom Cruise fan. I usually strongly dislike most of their work.

However, Minority Report forces both of them out of their respective safety zones. Cruise was pretty good in Vanilla Sky where he tolerated a total facial destruction as a key part of the plot. Once again, in MR, he's not a afraid to look bad -- emotionally or physically. It's hard to believe this one time smirking "pretty boy" can be so gritty and he does it convincingly.

Spielberg laid an egg with AI, but here he does a good job of convincing you that you are in the year 2054, moreso than more future set movies.

The movie has some interesting homage subtleties -- throwback to Kubrick movies and style, for example. And except for a couple of really dumb plot holes, it's pretty tight and unpredictable, even when it's being predictable (which itself should be predictable in a movie about predictions!).

I'm usually the first to make the "too long" complaint, but the movie is trying to say a lot about its characters in the small scale, and also about the social reaction to crime on a larger scale.

How far are we willing to go for security? I think that we're constantly trying to balance freedom and security. We often get it wrong -- the WW II imprisonment of Japanese-Americans, overzealous police, unconstitutional detainment of "persons of interest" regarding terrorism. From hindsight, we usually get it right. Spielberg offers a sense of foresight in this movie. Hopefully, we'll get it right.

Enjoy the movie.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

A review about Greek reviews

[6 July 2002]

First, the movie is excellent. Much funnier and approachable than the horrible "Father of the Bride" and the slightly to indulgent "Moonstruck".

However, I'm surprised that so many people of Greek ancestry are upset with the portrayals. Fortunately, the vast majority report that the movie is TOO accurate for their situation.

But there is a distressed minority who are upset with the cliche Greek restaurant owner with a heavy accent, tight family, strong commitment to tradition, drinking, dancing, xenophobia, etc. Are all Greeks like this? Of course not. But if you've been near Greek neighborhoods and families, you know that these characters are not imagined: They are real.

If you're Greek and easily offended by very common and totally Greek behavior, maybe you won't enjoy a movie entitled My BIG FAT Greek Wedding. Ya think?

Also, for the folks insisting that Olivia Dukakis deserved a role: Did you also complain that she shouldn't have been in Moonstruck? I'm glad she was and I'm glad Andrea Martin was in Greek Wedding. (Ok, her accent had a little more Russian than necessary, but she was funny.)

As they say on Halsted Street in Chicago, "God bless all Americans and Greeks!"

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

AI = PU

[8 April 2002]

What a stinker.

Reminiscent of the pointless and tedious "Millenium Man", we get a pointless and tedious "2 Millenia Boy". (In this case, Robin Williams actually plays a cartoon character instead of acting like one.) None of the characters generate any kind of sympathy, the plot starts and stops without any sense or purpose and at the end you're left with the typical John Williams turn-the-crank soundtrack to amplify Spielberg's standard sense of hyper-schmaltz. Meanwhile the cinematography is very un-Kubrick (=interesting). It's very Gattaca-like (=dull).

The whole "what makes us human" issue is better covered in Pinochio, The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy and STTNG.

If you didn't see it in the theaters, I recommend you rent it. You'll really be glad you didn't waste the money on a trip to the theater.

Rock Around the Clock (1956)

Very cool corn

[2 December 2001]

If you cruise by this one while channel surfing, your first instinct might be that this a B-grade science fiction movie. The acting and the script are more wooden than the furniture, but stick with it -- it's a vintage rock and roll gas.

Ignore the corny, predictable plot. Stick with the music of the Comets and the Platters. This music is timeless rock and roll.

Memento (2000)

A short comment for the memory challenged...

[9/10 · 20 September 2001]

This movie is like a book that you pick up and can't put down, can't wait for the ending (middle? beginning?), but you hope that it lasts forever. In the middle of the movie, my wife said "I have a headache!" and I said, "Yeah, me too. It's great."

I haven't seen any comments about the humor in the movie. There are lots of amusing bits interwoven into the drama and tension.

Oh, and don't forget to return the movie to the video store. Write a note... now before you forget.

Unbreakable (2000)

Unbearable? Unwatchable?

[4/10 · 1 July 2001]

With Willis it's either a great movie or a great waste of time. This one will help you get to sleep. In the movie, the characters actually "undevelop" -- they have more depth and reality at the beginning of the movie than at the end. They start out as recognizable people and end up as comic book characters -- and I don't mean that in a nice way.

If you want to watch a movie to see cool use of color and curious camera angles, go for it. If you're one of those folks who like gimmicks like real characters, an interesting story and non-geologic pacing, forget Unbreakable.

Try a much better movie -- something like The Sixth Sense.

Recess: School's Out (2001)

If you like Recess on TV you'll LOVE the movie.

[8/10 · 11 March 2001]

Recess the TV show is about kids having fun, and teachers being teachers (good and bad). There's good character development and personality variation on the small screen and it carries well to the big screen.

The movie puts the kids in the role of spies who need to break INTO school to save their lifestyle. Along the way, there are great 60's flashback scenes and songs, lots of funny spy movie cliches including the mob-scene climax.

The characters are caricatures but it IS a cartoon after all. There's good voice casting (including James Wood, Melissa Joan Hart and a great sounding Robert Goulet). The plot is complicated (and just a little goofy), but my 8 and 10 year old had no trouble following the action.

There are good messages about friendship, respect, integrity, duty, but these aren't done in a preachy way.

The animation quality is variable. There are some great 3d zoom-sweeps, but for part of the movie the characters look like they've been singed. However, the few animation flaws are only an issue for nitpickers (like me).

See it with someone who knows that characters and likes them. It'll be a good rental or a nice afternoon in the theater.

What Women Want (2000)

They want Mel Gibson to be a nice guy -- that's what they want.

[5 March 2001]

I think most of the other comments I've seen are over-analyzing this light movie. It's a cute fantasy about a male chauvinist transformed into a nice guy by developing (inadvertently) some sensitivity. Women want nice looking guys to be nice GUYS, too. I'm not sure why anyone would need much more in the movie.

The humor is good and Gibson does some amusingly self-effacing stuff and some slick dancing. I thought Helen Hunt was quite believable as the climbing ad exec. I agree with some of the other comments about Tomei deserving a better part but she does what she can with her role.

I thought the relationship development between Gibson and his daughter was interesting, too (albeit accelerated).

Other comments mention the length of the movie, but I was fine with it. It seemed fine to me.

If you're like me and you appreciate the "personal transition" type of movie (my favorite: Groundhog Day), then this is a good fit. This is a movie to help you unwind.

If you are looking for psychological insight into the unfulfilled desires of women and the blatantly unsatisfactory male response, this will disappoint. But watch it anyway -- you probably need to unwind.

Magnolia (1999)

There's no angst like California angst.

[1/10 · 18 February 2001]

Don't ya just hate it when you're rich and you get cancer and your depressed wife and your son who's a psychotic over-macho weasel don't get along?

Or when you try to tell your sleep-around, coke-sniffing daughter the you have cancer and you probably will need to quit your TV show and she doesn't listen and you have a drinking problem?

Or when you were on the other guy's (the second cancer guy, which is produced by the first cancer guy -- don't get them confused) famous TV show 30 years ago and everyone still remembers that, but you're such a screw up since then that you can't keep a job and by the way you're gay and can't score with the man of your dreams, too? Man, I hate when that happens.

Of course, in this stinker, things like that are happening all the time to a lot of people. These people have a lot of angst. And (Surprise!) they live in California (Motto: We have enough angst to export!). And in between expressing angst, they like to swear. I won't use the exact words here, but they rhyme with sock plucker, brother ducker, truck, muck my trick, go luck yourself. The only thing that doesn't seem to generate angst is their constant profanity.

Now I should tell you there are times when characters aren't swearing or being affected by cancer. They like to stare, too. Add up the staring, the swearing and the cancer stuff and it makes a long, boring movie. The only movie I remember being this boring is Short Cuts. And in the intricate lattice that is our universe, it's directed by the same director! (Can you believe it?) Of course, in Magnolia, there are many more characters you don't relate to and don't care about. I think Short Cuts is a little shorter (more irony), so technically, on the list of movies I never want to see again, it would rank ahead of Magnolia.

If you liked this movie, I hope your passion for profanity and angst as well as your clinical voyeurism gets better. (But because most angst lovers are only happy when they're sad, so maybe I should hope you get worse.)

Random Hearts (1999)

In a perfect world...they wouldn't make this movie.

[2/10 · 5 February 2001]

Boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring.

Repeat this to yourself for the running time of 133 minutes and you get the idea. (The UK version is mercifully one minute shorter.)

Nothing, nada, nitz, neechevo. Put it back on the shelf at the rental store. If you actually rented it, take it back unseen. Instead, watch 133 minutes of snow on your TV. (132 UK)

Thirteen Days (2000)

Was I the only one moved to tears by Thirteen Days?

[9/10 · 2 February 2001]

I'll agree with the other comments about bad accents, great Bobby and John acting, perfect characterization of others (subtitles were unnecessary for me), slightly too long, etc. It's a very good movie and you should see it if you know about history and you _definitely_ should see it if you don't know about history.

The thing that surprised me about the movie was that I broke into tears. Despite a personal reputation as a cold cynic, I do get moved by war drama -- the Midway torpedo bomber scene, the Gettysburg climax of Pickett's Charge -- but this was a nearly bloodless movie.

I think it was a reminder (or first expression) of the horrible fear and paralyzing helplessness I felt as a 12 year old. I still remember the tone of voice of the teacher who told us to be sure to watch the President on TV that night. I think that's the most fear I had ever heard in an adult's voice. (She didn't know _what_ was wrong, but she sure knew _something_ was seriously wrong.)

I would have expected more comments from people roughly the same age about their feelings at the time and how the movie renews those feelings. (I didn't get the same reaction from the excellent Guns of October with William Devane's tremendous John Kennedy with a dead-on accent.) Maybe I didn't cry at the time, but I was very afraid. It was good to release those 39 year old tears.

Attention Shoppers (2000)

No bargain here.

[15 January 2001]

The plot for this movie would make a good 10 minute sketch on SNL. It doesn't stretch to the playing time of the movie. The writing is periodically clever and sometimes amusing, but never really funny.

I think the goal was to make something like Office Space about peripheral actors on a non-sensational sitcom. But the execution isn't there. The movie tries to be serious at times but would have been better with a lighter subplot.

The movie takes the usual "everything outside Hollywood is corny and hick" attitude. K-mart, Houston -- you know, real rubes.

The only remotely developed characters are the main character (played by Enrique Suarez) and the Houston limo driver played by Michael Lerner. The latter is excellent in his role. Meanwhile, Martin Mull is very weak in a brief role as a flight attendant.

If someone forces you to watch the movie you should resist, but not so much that you might hurt yourself. It's not perfectly terrible, either.

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

Lighten up, Francis. It's a cartoon sequel.

[8/10 · 30 September 2000]

Way too many critical comments. This is a cute family movie with just enough humor and tensions and moral to suit all viewers regardless of age. The special effects are good and the cinematography is actually interesting.

Some of the double entrendres are cute, but they harmlessly go right over the kid's head. (Remember, the theme song says "...They'll have a gay old time.")

There's a couple of clever buried jokes. (Did anyone else catch Gazoo's "Klaatu berada niktor" comment?)

Also, Kristin Johnson is quite easy on the eyes.

Remember, it's a MOVIE based on a CARTOON. Set your expectations accordingly. Enjoy.

Any Given Sunday (1999)

Like Jamie, I want to throw up.

[1/10 · 30 September 2000]

Don't bother reading the long, defensive reviews.

This movie is terrible -- classic Oliver Stone over-hyped, over-produced garbage. No redeeming value whatsoever.

If you insist on seeing it, get the VCR version so don't need to see as much as the DVD (letterbox) version.

The Insider (1999)

Take you time and enjoy this complex story.

[16 April 2000]

This is fine movie with good acting and directing. Clearly it deserves some of the notoriety it has gotten. There are couple of times where you'd like the story to move more quickly and a couple of dispensable scenes. In addition, there is a myriad of quick-in, quick-out characters which is a little confusing. (What was Rip Torn doing in the movie? Great actor, weak part.) But overall, this is a captivating story about two men. One is an activist, always looking do to the "right thing" and willing to take risks. The other is more opportunistic, but facing a crisis. He might seek revenge or forgiveness more than he would be a crusader. I'd recommend this with a very large bowl of popcorn and a long evening. BTW, the video I rented was picturebox format: bravo!

Mission to Mars (2000)

I'm embarrassed to admit I saw this movie.

[27 March 2000]

What a terrible movie. Who was the technical advisor? Charro? The special effects were mediocre. The cinematography was laughable. (Incredibly, this movie will look even WORSE on television.) And the ending is so dumb, you'll think they accidentally threw out the "good ending" and inadvertently printed the "joke ending". The makeup was truly amusing. Aside from Gary Sinise's overdone eye makeup, in several scenes, he's wearing too much lipstick. (Is it sexist to expect an actor to wear less lipstick than actress in the same scene?) The plot is terrible. There's no sense of drama in going to Mars. It's as if NASA consisted of about 15 people who do everything on a whim. Movies like The Right Stuff, Contact, Apollo 13, heck even Men In Black have much better character development, plot, eye appeal, realism and direction. As for the cast, the male leads are all likeable guys. The women tend to be cardboard cutouts (not necessarily the actresses' fault). The cast is only guilty by association. But the director and the writer should be suspended for several years.

Scream 3 (2000)

Lighten up! -- It's a campy slasher series.

[19 February 2000]

If you don't like blood and pointless violence, don't watch Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3, other horror movies, WWF wrestling and the Three Stooges.

But if you like satire and wit, watch Scream, then Scream 2 and then Scream 3. The original Scream had some fun by making fun of slasher movies. Scream 2 had even more fun, but overdid the foreshadowing of the next few scenes.

Scream 3 simply continues the process with (1) more satire about all slasher movies, (2) self-deprecating satire on Scream and Scream 2, and (3) some good chills and twists.

A lot of Scream purists are complaining about the movie complying with a formula. Duh, it's called "Scream 3", not "Something Completely Different". Lighten up, folks. The series is about the genre, not the characters or morality.

I thought it was a very entertaining flick.

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

Enjoy interesting animation with excellent music.

[9/10 · 19 February 2000]

This was a great movie for me and my wife and kids 7 and 9.

The kids enjoyed the clever animation and they managed to be exposed to some very good classical music -- virtually all 20th century. (So much for the common "no good 20th century classical music" whine!)

The movie was long enough to feel entertaining but short enough for the kids' attention span.

A couple of things keep the movie from being a 10 in my book:

1) Hey Disney, shell out a few bucks to restore the Sorcerer's Apprentice. 2) Why Imax? This would have been a fine movie on a standard movie screen (with a good sound system). 3) In the Noah's Ark scene, does Daisy really need an umbrella and rain coat?? She's a DUCK! (Surprisingly, this was the most touching segment.) 4) OK, I'll agree that there is no "awesome" section of animation as in the Lion King and Hunchback.

Otherwise, go see it in Imax for the whales or catch it in other theatres for a fun family time.

I look forward to F 2001, maybe with more Vivaldi, Mozart and Debussy.