The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
Phil Hartman: Air Conditioner, Hanging Lamp
Quotes
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Air Conditioner : You guys really have an attachment for that kid, don't you?
Blanky : Yes. He was our master.
Air Conditioner : Well, that's real nice, and any day now, he might come romping back, huh? He'll just come whistling through that door, and everything will be the same. Real peachy-keen-like.
Blanky : Uh-huh.
Lampy : It's a possibility.
Toaster : Well, at least we try to be optimistic.
Air Conditioner : [shouts] Optimistic? Somebody try to untie the knot in this guy's cord!
Kirby : Why don't you just shut off?
Air Conditioner : Hey, I'm really scared there, Kirby. What are you going to do, suck me to death?
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Air Conditioner : So... It's back to that stupid static again. You think I don't know what's going on in here? I know what goes on in this cottage. It's a conspiracy and every one of you low-watts is in on it. Just 'cause you move around, you think you're better than I am. I'm not an invalid. I was designed to stick in the wall! I like being stuck in the stupid wall! I can't help it if the kid was too short to reach my dials...
[Begins to spark and fizzle furiously]
Toaster : We didn't mean it. Really!
Air Conditioner : [bellows] IT'S MY FUNCTION!
[continues sparking and fizzing and glowing]
Toaster : No, wait. Wait!
Kirby : He's gonna blow!
Toaster : Quick, yank your plugs!
[the appliances all unplug themselves just as Air Conditioner blows up]
Blanky : Poor Air Conditioner.
Toaster : I didn't think he'd take it so hard.
Kirby : Ah, he was a jerk anyway.
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Air Conditioner : What is it with you guys, anyway? You act like you just came off the assembly line! Now get this through your chrome. We've been dumped! Abandoned!
Blanky : But he loved us.
The Radio : That's right.
Air Conditioner : So what? He's a kid. He has a family. They move away, he moves away. It's a packaged deal.
Toaster : But maybe they're...
Air Conditioner : He's not coming back! Pure and simple!
Kirby : Oh yeah? Did you talk to him recently or something? They could drive up any second!
Blanky : You really think so?
Kirby : I'm not talking to you!
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Toaster : Well, you can do what you like. We're not gonna give up hope.
Air Conditioner : That's real touchin', Toaster. You're gonna get me bawling like a baby anytime now.
Toaster : I think you're jealous.
Air Conditioner : Sure, I'm jealous of a bunch of dimwits.
Lampy : Dim?
Toaster : Yeah, because the master never played with you.
Kirby : Because you're stuck in a wall!
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Air Conditioner : The whole bunch of you gotta have a combined wattage of maybe five, maybe less. It's been years. It's scrap metal time.
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Toaster : What are you laughing at?
Air Conditioner : Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
Lampy : I think he was laughing at us.
Air Conditioner : You know something? You're a bright little lamp.
Lampy : Thanks... Hey!