2/10
Missionary Man
2 October 2008
No, Dolph, No. That's what I'd tell the Swedish muscle man when he decided upon a career in directing. The actor to Director transfer works if you're Clint Eastwood(Quality Actor and Quality Director). Unfortunately Dolph was never a good actor, so when he turned his hand to writing and directing it could only end one way.

A local gangster is strong-arming the Native Indian townsfolk into building a Casino. Anyone who argues with him tends to turn up riddled with bullets. Dolph Lungdren plays Ryder, a bible thumping shotgun wielding maniac who has an axe to grind. He rides into town on his motorcycle to attend the funeral of his murdered war buddy, but quickly starts a one man crusade to free the town.

This is a hugely forgettable formula movie with plot points and action stolen from better films. You're left wondering if you actually watched it at all, as it evaporates from memory within minutes.

As a director, Dolph is amateur at best. No one bothered to tell him about lighting for a start. All the sets are dimly lit and the characters are in perpetual shadow. With a searing sun above his head there are no excuses. He just had to face his actors in the other direction.

As an actor, Dolph reminds us why he barely had any leading parts in movies ( Red Scorpion is the only one that comes to mind). His face only has two expressions; Square jaw angry and a gurning grin that makes PM Gordon Brown's look genuine.

You can't help feel sorry for Lungdren. He's obviously not been offered much work and has decided to go it on his own. There's a quiet dignity in that. Buying his DVD makes me feel like I've dropped money in a charity bucket: Save the 80's action stars.

Verdict 2/10 It gets two from sympathy.
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