Change Your Image
situationuniverse
Reviews
Tales of the Black Freighter (2009)
A chilling, competent and compelling adaptation of Alan Moore's work.
As you will know from reading my earlier review of Watchmen, I wasn't overly impressed. Snyder's attempts to shoehorn as much of the book into his film resulted in a confusing mess. At least he was smart enough not to try and fit 'Tales of the Black Freighter' in too. Instead, it was made into this 25 minute animation by Mike Smith and Daniel DelPurgatorio.
The story originated as a comic book within a comic book, read by a kid who uses the same news stand as Rorschach. It follows a Mariner (Gerard Butler) whose ship is blown to smithereens and whose crew are all slain by Pirates from the dreaded Black freighter. He makes his way to a nearby deserted island, just in time to watch the bloated corpses of his crew wash up on shore.
Whilst there he figures that the pirates are most likely pillaging his home town and his family are in danger. He decides to build a raft from trees and a sail that he finds his friend wrapped in. He grimly realises the swollen, gas filled bodies lying on the beach will provide him with the perfect ballast to keep him afloat. And be begins tying them to his raft.
Sailing on his grotesque vessel, he heads for home. Eating any seabirds who fly down close enough trying to peck at the eyeballs of his building material. He perilously drinks handfuls of sea water, sending him further and further into delusion. His dead friend counsels him from beyond the grave, telling him it's too late to save his family back home and he should go back. But like a certain character in the main book, the Mariner is intent on his mission. It's no mistake that the bloodied sails on his raft resemble an ink-blot.
After surviving a shark attack and washing up on familiar shores, he has convinced himself that the Pirates have been and plundered his town. So convinced that he murders innocents he suspects have betrayed his people to the pirates. He stalks into his own house, believing that pirates lie in the beds of his wife and daughters and prepares to kill them.
Unlike the main book, Black Freighter is complex in its simplicity. You have the simple story of a man heading home to save his loved ones, who, through self-delusion, becomes the very monster that threatens them. The complexities lie in the confused and tortured Mariner. His soul is polluted and corrupted by the vengeance in his heart, so much so, that he becomes worse than his enemy.
Gerard Butler, offered the role because Zack Snyder couldn't find him a part in Watchmen, fits perfect. His nuanced Scottish growl starts off simpering and self-sympathetic before ending with the lunatic howls of a madman. There is no better voice.
The animation is similar in style to Fist of the North Star, the 1986 movie, with dark shadows and a lot of high contrast visuals. The sea is as black as ink and the sun crimson on the horizon. It feels very old school compared to modern anime's like Appleseed and Ghost in the Shell.
In 25 minutes this film achieves what Watchmen couldn't do in nearly three hours. A chilling, competent and compelling adaptation of Alan Moore's work.
Verdict 8/10 Better than the film it accompanies.
Watchmen (2009)
Not up to scratch
Alan Moore's hate/hate relationship with Hollywood is common knowledge. When they adapt his work, not only does he insist that his name is taken from the credits, but he also rejects any royalties he's due. After lacklustre efforts like From Hell and V for Vendetta and the downright abysmal League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, who can blame the man? Can Zack Snyder buck the trend and adapt works that the author himself deems un-adaptable?
The story, set in an alternate universe where Nixon is still President and the yanks won in Vietnam, concerns a group of out-of-work masked heroes called the Watchmen, unable to save the day due to a new law.
Most have moved on, retired or found other outlets for their skills. One of them, though, refuses to stop. A man in an ink-blot mask and a Mickey Spillane trenchcoat; Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley). The closest thing to a protagonist in the film, he follows the clues after the brutal murder of another hero, the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan).
In the background there are several sub-plots running concurrently. Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), the only super-powered hero of the group is working on a self-sustaining power source to solve the world's energy needs. He's working with the world's smartest and wealthiest man, Ozymandias (Matthew Goode), who may have ulterior motives of his own.
Invested in his work and removed from society by his god like powers, Dr. Manhattan is slowly losing his human empathy. The same reason his girlfriend Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman) is falling out of love with him. She finds solace in the arms of Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson) an impotent batman like hero, who barely conceals his lust for action.
As the world heads towards Nuclear Disaster, the heroes must forget their differences and unite. But to save humanity from itself, sacrifices must be made.
The Labyrinthine plot strands make it hard to keep track of any single story, even if you have read the book. At least when you're reading it, you can put it down for five minutes. It requires all of your brain power and a lot of enthusiasm for the story to watch the three hour long movie. So intense is it, that you actually feel yourself tiring halfway through. The first act runs for at least an hour, introducing characters and their relationships. Cutting back in time at will, to give you each one's origin story. You're left willing the film to take shape and head in one particular direction, not dozens all at once.
Snyder makes a few mistakes that really jar. His use of music is poorly founded, playing entire tracks over scenes that don't need it. The over long sex scene between Nite Owl and Silk Spectre comes to mind. I mean Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen may be ironic for an impotent character finally getting it up, but it doesn't fit the mood.
He also seems to splash around some random acts of extreme violence to remind the audience that this is a strictly adult Superhero movie, ensuring himself an 18 certificate. He never really finds the right tone for the movie, instead adopting them all. For instance, is it supposed to be humorous or serious? The book was so much larger than life that the irony positively dripped from the page, but here he humanises the characters too much leaving us confused.
The acting is average almost all the way round. The only stand out performance was Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. A Travis Bickle character who's seen too much misery and left his humanity in the gutter. When he's captured and put in prison with so many of the criminals he put away, the film hits an all time high. The scenes strike a perfect balance between ironic humour and gritty all out violence. But I always had time for Rorschach, so maybe I'm biased.
Zack Snyder can't be blamed entirely. The man obviously loves the source material and gives it his best shot. It's just clearly too big a project for him after only two films. Terry Gilliam and Paul Greengrass, both more experienced directors, have abandoned the story as unfilmable. Maybe Alan Moore was right after all.
Verdict 6/10 A brilliant book, but it makes a poor film.
Outpost (2008)
A wasted opportunity
Nazi Zombies. Is there any greater combination of words to entice a viewer to grab a DVD from the shelf? Not likely. On the one hand you have the vilest, sickest, most pure form of evil known to man. And there's Zombies in it too.
The story concerns a group of war-embittered mercenaries, who've been hired to escort a businessman through hostile territory to an abandoned Nazi bunker. They're led to believe (mostly by their own greed) that they're in search of lost Nazi gold. Once there, things take a turn for the supernatural as long dead German soldiers appear, killing without a whisper. The businessman finds a strange device that is likely causing the re-animation. Thanks to some well placed instruction videos, we find out that the device was being used to create an unstoppable super army.
Sure they're undead and they like to kill the living, but that's as far as the similarities go. These Nazi's ain't no zombies by my book. They don't try to eat anyone for a kick off. They also don't look like your ordinary everyday zombie either. These guys have no torn limbs and they don't moan as they shuffle towards you. What a gip!
The mercenaries are made up of actors you might recognise, but can't quite place. Oh, look, there's the guy who killed Bruce Wayne's parents in Batman Begins(Richard Brake). Hey, isn't that the bloke from Rome(Ray Stevenson)? Their characters are just as disposable as the actors themselves. Not one of them generates any sympathy, making their deaths pretty incidental.
There are some genuine scares to be had though. Especially with the catatonic bald lad who turns up at the beginning. Don't take your eyes off him for a second.
All in all, this feels like a wasted opportunity. Note to Director: If you write Nazi Zombies on the box, there damn well better be Nazi Zombies inside.
Verdict 4/10 A movie non-event.
Missionary Man (2007)
Missionary Man
No, Dolph, No. That's what I'd tell the Swedish muscle man when he decided upon a career in directing. The actor to Director transfer works if you're Clint Eastwood(Quality Actor and Quality Director). Unfortunately Dolph was never a good actor, so when he turned his hand to writing and directing it could only end one way.
A local gangster is strong-arming the Native Indian townsfolk into building a Casino. Anyone who argues with him tends to turn up riddled with bullets. Dolph Lungdren plays Ryder, a bible thumping shotgun wielding maniac who has an axe to grind. He rides into town on his motorcycle to attend the funeral of his murdered war buddy, but quickly starts a one man crusade to free the town.
This is a hugely forgettable formula movie with plot points and action stolen from better films. You're left wondering if you actually watched it at all, as it evaporates from memory within minutes.
As a director, Dolph is amateur at best. No one bothered to tell him about lighting for a start. All the sets are dimly lit and the characters are in perpetual shadow. With a searing sun above his head there are no excuses. He just had to face his actors in the other direction.
As an actor, Dolph reminds us why he barely had any leading parts in movies ( Red Scorpion is the only one that comes to mind). His face only has two expressions; Square jaw angry and a gurning grin that makes PM Gordon Brown's look genuine.
You can't help feel sorry for Lungdren. He's obviously not been offered much work and has decided to go it on his own. There's a quiet dignity in that. Buying his DVD makes me feel like I've dropped money in a charity bucket: Save the 80's action stars.
Verdict 2/10 It gets two from sympathy.