LovePythons Reviews

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015)

*The NEW Second Best Marigold Hotel - in 7 Steps*

[5/10 · 4 April 2015]

1. Judy Dench and Maggie Smith have no love interests but sit together companionably like two old lizards in the sun.

2. The two hotel inspectors are written out of the script.

3. The highly annoying hotel proprietor Sonny is eaten by a tiger in Rajasthan. (An accident or murder?)

4. Sonny's grieving mother is comforted by the impeccable Bill Nighy and gradually, to their mutual surprise, they fall in love.

5. Sonny's fiancé marries her brother's dishy best friend.

6. The hot-to-trot Celia wins a bundle at bingo, undergoes the knife, and emerges looking 20 years younger, a more fitting bride for the friendly taxi driver.

7. David Strathairn stays put and is fair game for any middle-age female movie goers.

State of Play (2009)

Great Fllck, but not so much the Morning After

[8/10 · 14 October 2013]

SPOILERS AHEAD! I've seen this twice and enjoyed it even more the second time. Crisp intelligent dialog, winsome characters, and lots of confusing who's-behind-it? nonsense.

Since I can't find a review (I'm sure you're out there) that addresses my reservations, here they are: 1. Why kill the aide? Why not just fire her? If, as Ben Affleck says, the killer was only meant to follow and not kill, why didn't Ben call him off after her death? Instead, at the end we have the killer calling Ben to say he will finish the job, ie. kill the reporter.

2. If the young druggie had ALREADY stolen the killer's briefcase (as his girlfriend tells reporter (when she hands him the photos and bullets) why is the opening scene of him snatching this case, being chased by killer and killed? The kid must have taken it previously, else how could girlfriend have the stuff inside? Also, if the con was to steal a briefcase then sell it back to owner (as girlfriend states) why did they take the photos OUT of the case? Surely this guy wasn't going to pay for an empty case! If the idea was to blackmail him for more money before turning over contents, that won't play because the girlfriend claimed kid was desperate for a fix. Hence, quick bucks.

3. So who is Ben Affleck really? A good guy who loves his friend (remember all the "you were my best friend boo-hoo" stuff?)and never meant to harm his aide -- or a ruthless poser who murders the aide and sends an assassin to murder his friend? 4. What is the role of the whip fellow? He's in with the baddies? Ben must know this after he learns aide is a spy, but Ben still brown-noses him in hallway later. OK - politics is politics.

5. Hospital security (and police) know the wounded pizza guy is a target, yet they keep the curtains wide open. Only one cop on duty? No dice - need two so one can answer phone, use toilet, go for food, etc.

The East (2013)

I left in the middle

[4/10 · 4 July 2013]

It looks like I'm not a real fan of Zal Batmanglij. This was one of the most poorly written and directed movies I've seen for awhile. I think his script actually said: "Let's see how we can make Brit Marling look good." She looks fine but her acting didn't move me nor did the talent around her really come into their own.

Ellen Page and Patricia Clarkson were supposed to be real baddies, but in what I saw of the film, they didn't make my back hairs stand up. Nor did Alexander Skarsgård seem charismatic.

Whenever a little suspense threatened to break out, Batmanglij quickly stifled it with lots of P.C. rhetoric about saving the planet or the hapless consumer. Meanwhile Brit would swing her long blonde hair and frown prettily.

After about an hour, my date got hungry and we left.

This Is the End (2013)

Ladies - head for the hills!

[1/10 · 18 June 2013]

I saw the MetaCritics reviews and, even though I am a mature, cinema-buff-type woman, thought I'd take a chance that The End was indeed funny.

I suspect the ONLY people liking this movie are of the male persuasion, although I can't speak for all women. In any case, I think it is NOT funny, not well written not particularly well acted or directed. I suspect that Seth Rogen got a bunch of his friends together in a house with lots of weed and booze and threw this piece-meal piece of junk together, thinking how absolutely hilarious they were all being.

That doesn't explain why major (male) critics gave it highest marks. I am at a loss about this. There were four young males in the audience with me and two of them yucked it up quite a bit. They enjoyed the long (never-ending?) scene of two guys trying to outdo each other describing how they were going to jack off EVERYWHERE in the house.

I wish I had read a woman's review first. A total waste of time and money!

Looper (2012)

I walked out!

[3/10 · 1 October 2012]

I am obviously one of the underwhelmed who are disgusted by all the rave reviews. THIS IS NOT A GOOD FILM. It's true that I only went because a friend wanted to and I wouldn't have on my own. But my friend also walked out.

Other reviewers can point out the sci-fi flaws better than I can. I'll just say the novelty of meet-yourself-30-years-from-now has nowhere to go once you meet. Let's look at the cinematic values. The characters were dark and superficial. The big bad city sets were seedy, unconvincing and depressing. The dialog was pedestrian and obvious. Most communication consisted of people glowering at each other for long periods of time. That is, when they weren't blowing each other up.

There was a pointless love interest that was as sexy as week-old spaghetti. Since I didn't see the second half, I can't really comment on the plot, but what I did see did not impress.

Why do I go to movies? I guess not for the reason people who love Looper do. I like to -- gasp! -- have fun. I like to hang out with fascinating characters who are not predictable. I like the wit and suspense of good writing. I like taut direction where you don't tap your foot as people stare stupidly at each other. Interesting things happen that don't involve artillery.

Someone here mentioned 12 Monkeys as a much better movie. I agree!

Arbitrage (2012)

Decent popcorn flick but a few boo-boos

[7/10 · 15 September 2012]

I enjoyed the character development in this one although the plot-line was somewhat glib. What drove me CRAZY were the little things.

1. Two different characters ask Gere "What happened to your head?" We can see at the scene of the car crash a big red gash on his forehead. A few hours later, NADA! Twice they ask the questions, twice the camera zooms to his forehead and THERE IS NOTHING THERE! Not a scratch not a baby band-aid, nothing but white, unblemished forehead.

2. This one might be quibbling but, ladies, see what you think. Susan S. looks ravishing all the way through, perfect make-up, hair, clothes. But in ONE scene, it looks like "Dead Man Walking" was doing a cameo. On her exercise machine: no make up, loose hair, sloppy top no bra. Then - boom - back to looking like a cover girl again.

3. Earl the "super lawyer" is a bozo. He does nothing to get the kid out of trouble. It's Gere who has to step up and find a way to spring the kid from the evil detective's trap.

Well, that's enough nit-picking. This director needs a sharper continuity person.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (2011)

A shining jewel of British wit

[8/10 · 18 July 2012]

If you are feeling out of sorts, down on life or just mucking along, please see this film!

There is so much to love but my favorite is Kristin Scott Thomas' hilarious romp as an evil Press Secretary to the British Prime Minister.

The two stars are magic. The writing is superb. The pacing pitch perfect.

Watching this film is like playing in the surf with the sun shining and friendly fish darting between your ankles.

At one point our hero requests from the Environment Secretary 10,000 wild salmon from British streams to stock the Yemen river. His answer: "If God himself became a fly fisherman, I couldn't do it." The mere idea of stealing local fish drive millions to riot and 50-point headlines in the tabloids.

The love story adds ballast to the silliness. There is real poignancy in Fred's longing for passion in his marriage. (His wife stiffly pushes him away after a brief coupling saying, "There. That should do you for awhile.")

Will the staid scientist stick to his wife or pursue the emotionally fragile financier who speaks Mandarin? Maybe you can guess, but see the movie anyway.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

Fascinating - but only on speed dial

[5/10 · 4 June 2012]

I knew little about this film before I watched it (On Demand at home). Thank goodness I could fast-forward! Why all those long silent empty scenes that happen with numbing regularity? I finally figured out that if you count to five slooowly, someone will then speak. But it's so irritating! The visual delights were interesting but made little sense. Halloween masks make suburbia frightening? The parts I related to were the scenes between the mother and Kevin. Poor lady - she didn't have a clue about motherhood. She both tried too hard and withheld too much. She was pretending to love the kid and he knew it. He also was a rotten kid.

P.S. you parents out there: letting your kid boss you around and setting no limits will definitely lead to an antisocial kid or at least a real pain in the neck.

I'm glad I didn't know the ending and I won't reveal it. But the last we see of Kevin, proud Lucifer has had a buzz cut and a few second thoughts.

The Grey (2011)

Soiled Seven Crash in Snow, Sing Danny Boy

[5/10 · 14 February 2012]

Some reviewer compared this film to Dirty Dozen but no way.

Other folks have detailed many of the film's weaknesses but my main complaint is the CGI wolves. These poor creatures look like a cross between a Shetland pony and a warthog. Plus, they are not grey but BLACK. They look like giant Brillo pads with legs. In any case they are UGLY, which no real wolf is.

It's not really a spoiler to point out that the fires seem to burn without people ever putting wood on them. Or that someone falls into an icy stream, then gets up and walks in the woods with wet clothes but no hypothermia. Or that these wolves really REALLY UGLY! So sad.

Oh yes, the scenery is beautiful. And the men love their kids.

Iceman (1984)

you tarzan, me bored

[4/10 · 22 November 2011]

Maybe it's unfair to pick at a movie made in the '80s but they did make some good ones back then, didn't they? The sound track is muddy, the visuals are gunky (except for the outdoor snow shots), and the acting is uninspiring. The philosophical ideas are old hat and predictable.

And the story? I admit I gave up after about 45 minutes. During the be-yuh -- bird! scene that went on forever. I truly am amazed that so many people have raved about this movie. I love Neanderthals and the snow and science/fiction, so why don't I love this movie? It's just not very good.

I kinda knew I was in trouble when they had that chunk of ice traveling cross country dangling from a helicopter a la Felini. Felini had a stature -- of David, I believe. This was a block of ice. So, a great movie is to this movie like Michaelangelo's David is to a giant block of ice. I hope that is not a spoiler.

Take Shelter (2011)

Sloooow Train to Plot Twist Hell

[15 October 2011]

OK, maybe plot-twist hell is a little strong but this is a loong movie with a dirty trick as an ending. The basic premise -- is the guy a true visionary or just nuts? -- is suspenseful, or would be if the plot moved along at anything like a normal pace. The characters get us involved and we want the guy to resolve his all too-real nightmares and take care of his sweet family.

He's trying, or is he? Anyone who crosses him in a dream -- his faithful dog, a friend and coworker -- are sacrificed to his crazy fears. He seeks help but no one seems to know how to treat a pre-psychotic patient in this outpost of rural Ohio. For example, he raves like maniac at a community potluck, throwing tables and shouting doomsday curses, but the next scene we see him playing unsupervised with his young daughter.

If you are really patient, you will get an epiphany scene at the end and a sliver of hope. Or not.

Love Crime (2010)

Vixen versus Vixen - What fun!

[27 September 2011]

Kristen Scott Thomas shines in one of her best roles ever, all in flawless French. She is a no-holds-barred executive who will do anything to get ahead, include mistreat her bright young assistant, Ludivine Sagnier. In fact, Miss Thomas actually enjoys twisting the screws on the young woman who had considered her a mentor and benefactor.

Finally, of course, the boss goes too far and the balance of power begins to shift. Our lovely assistant behaves oddly and we fear she is descending into a crippling depression. But wait! Before you grab a Zoloft, notice her errand to ask a favor of her sister, consider the file she keeps locked up that no one else knows about, and figure why she disguises herself to go to the movies.

What makes the film so fascinating is the clever move/countermove screenplay that provides tantalizing hints increasing scullduggery. The two female leads play beautifully off each other and the hapless men that get in their way are interesting in their own right.

Not a whodunit, Love Crimes is more of a what's-she-gonna-do that should keep you on the edge of your seat. I loved every maniacal minute of it!

Jane Eyre (2011)

A dark and glossy snorefest

[6/10 · 27 September 2011]

I rented this because of all the rave reviews. They were highly exaggerated. Is the film beautiful? I suppose so, what you can see in the gloomy sets, whole rooms lit only by a small fire. Is Jane enchanting? Mia W, is so sedate, sitting ramrod straight and never raising her voice even a half tone, that I found it difficult to believe Mr. Rochester had been o'erthrown with love.

And what about Mr. R? He was textbook handsome, not craggy and tortured. He so obviously had a Good Heart beneath the sulks and tantrums, that he was nothing (and Jane agreed) to be the least afraid of.

How about Judy Densch as the housekeeper? Agreeable but a waste of talent. The young Adele? Adnoidal but adequate.

What had me giving up fairly early in the film was the glacial pacing. It's a slow moving story in essence but to drag it out with wooden performances in the dark was just too much for me. I love the book and other adaptations. Even if this were the first film version I ever saw, I think I would have thrown in the towel out of boredom.

Fair Game (I) (2010)

Get ready to bleed all over again

[7/10 · 20 November 2010]

This is a well-crafted film but one from a anti-Bush point of view. If you opposed the 2nd Iraq War (as I did from the start), you will feel the frustration and outrage just like 2002. But that's good -- at least according to the filmmakers.

I saw the movie because I was curious about what really happened to Valerie Plame. The movie does a great job of laying it out. Naomi Watts and Sean Penn create real characters (from the real characters) and the bad guys are well acted too. The husband (Penn) who started the whole thing (unless you think Bush started the whole thing) is a tough guy to take sometimes but he does come through.

It's not really a nail-biter like Frost/Nixon but it raises good points and is worth the price of admission.

Voyager (1991)

dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

[2/10 · 20 November 2010]

This is what I expected.

1. Sam Shepard actually inhabiting a character, not droning lines in a bored tone from a script. Even surviving a plane crash in the desert didn't interest him much.

2. With a German production, a little intelligence, some plot savvy and even some sophistication.

This is what I got.

1. Embarrassing performance. Dull dull dull.

2. Sloppy writing, plotting and directing. Clumsiness everywhere. Ugh!

If you haven't seen The English Patient, try that.

A Prophet (2009)

Unsettling masterpiece

[8/10 · 20 September 2010]

I agree with all those who say this is a brilliant film. It's tough and realistic to the point of nightmares, but it makes sense in a sad sort of way. You probably know the storyline. I kept hoping Malik would make different choices, even if they were dangerous, but he ran true to form.

What could have been a decent, if uninspiring, life if Malik had just done his six years, becomes a tense, survive-in-the-jungle nail-biter. When Malik emerges at the end, a free man and lord of his own crime syndicate, the director seems to want us to cheer.

I didn't cheer.

Moon (2009)

one weird dude movie

[20 June 2009]

I don't agree that this one was like Alien or even 2001, although 2001 is the closest. The danger/suspense comes from within, even though it is precipitated by dastardly Big Company men on earth.

So here it is. You have done your job for a mining company on the moon for three long years - alone - and you are feeling a little nuts. You see things that aren't there. Then one day, 14 days before your scheduled return to earth, you see yourself, only a few years younger and fitter. What is going on? That's the mystery. It's not Hal - that is, Gertie - the computer. It's not an alien waiting to rip open your chest. It's everything you thought was real - but now can't be real. Because there are two of you.

What's fun about this movie is it's fast, confusing pace, allowing viewers to dissect it almost endlessly during a pizza dinner following the show. No fancy visuals or fake monsters. Just reality peeling back more and more unsavory layers.

What Just Happened (2008)

not perfect, but a real hoot

[7/10 · 13 April 2009]

it's so irritating that people keep comparing this to other "inside Hollywood" films. does it have to be THE DEFINITIVE Hollywood movie to be enjoyable? I wasn't wild about the personal life stuff but the Hollywood stuff had me falling off the couch. All the actors are great and played off a deadpan De Niro perfectly. All I wonder is -- with the ending of "Fiercely" so crucial to the producer and studio gal, why didn't they submit the cut themselves rather than rely on the idiot director? Duh.

De Niro has taken heat lately, and no doubt rightly so, for making schlock movies but this one proves again that he is one heck of an actor. through trials that would send Ghandi into a rage, his character just shrugs it off and keeps on keeping on. it gets to him, of course, but trying to get his strokes from his jumpy ex-wife seems stupid.

If you like Hollywood insider stuff, see this movie!

Duplicity (2009)

this one could have been much much better

[4/10 · 13 April 2009]

As a rabid fan of Michael Clayton I was disappointed. I loved the stars and the general set-up but the movie never decided what it was - -- romantic comedy -- spy thriller -- satire on corporate values It wasn't played for laughs. the romance never got off the ground (in spite of sappy ending) because these two gamers could never be trusted. (love = trust). Also, the back and forth with flashbacks only confused the story and shut down any chance of suspense. I got the impression that some movie people were batting around ideas and someone said "how about mr and mrs smith meet pretty woman?" Didn't have the fun of the first or the honest emotion of the second. Also, Julia did NOT wear cute clothes. boo.

Jezebel (1938)

Bette at her lovely, feisty best!

[8/10 · 6 April 2008]

Bette appears as a spoiled young Southern beauty who likes to play with men to tickle her ego. But as the trauma of a Yellow Fever epidemic sweeps through 1852 New Orleans, she finds that playing with men can be deadly.

Henry Fonda plays a rather priggish young banker who finally runs out of patience with his wayward fiancée. His high ideals are set boldly against Bette's rebellious act of wearing a vile crimson dress to the Memphis Ball. Young ladies always wear virginal white until marriage, Bette is told, to which she nearly replies a la Scarlett O'Hara: Fiddle dee dee!

Gorgeous gowns, great acting and full-stop melodramatic fun.

Tristram Shandy (2005)

I hated hated hated this movie!

[1/10 · 4 March 2006]

What were the reviewers thinking of? Were they anxious to show they were literate enough to have read the 18th-century novel? I paid nearly 10 buckaroos to hear a women wail in childbirth for 20 minutes and for two jokes about male private parts being mutilated. Oh yeah, really funny. I left the theater after 30 minutes to find others in the lobby waiting for friends and relatives to bail out of a really bad movie.

Here's the joke (save your money): the novel isn't about anything at all and (this is the wildly creative part) the movie is about how hard it is to film nothing at all. The acting is bad, the script is ridiculous and the storyline nonexistent. If you want British humor, watch the Best of Monty Python on PBS Wednesdays. Cheers!

Tom & Viv (1994)

A Fascinating Look at a Troubled Marriage

[8/10 · 16 February 2006]

Miranda Richardson does a first-rate job of portraying the high-spirited, slightly wacko Vivian. As time wears on, and Eliot achieves fame, her manic flights go higher and higher. Finally she is "put away" as an embarrassment. Even though her condition improves, neither her brother nor her husband appeal for her release. Someone would have to look after her then. They put in their years as her caretaker and now have other things to do. the exasperation one feels in the beginning of the movie toward Viv becomes a deep sympathy for the middle-aged woman planted in a gilded cage with nothing and no one of her own.