Theodorum Reviews

Wild at Heart (1990)

Lynch is love

[8/10 · 27 April 2018]

It's interesting that even a story with a straight-forward plot like this one, is full of typical Lynch distractors. While those uncanny events and characters don't quite fit with the movie's atmosphere, they're still individually enjoyable; it's just what Lynch said: it's more like a compilation of random events and moments within the movie's context. Also, you cannot get wrong with Nicolas Cage's over-the-top yet natural acting, energetic and charismatic Laura Dern and the creepily funny Willem Dafoe's character. This is more like a transition between the somehow more accessible previous movies (except "Eraserhead" of course) and the brain madness that's about to come.

Life of Pi (2012)

Look, it's SYMBOLIC!

[5/10 · 25 April 2018]

What we have here is a film that has no direction. Is it an art film or a blockbuster? None of them. While Ang Lee usually has great cinematography, here it serves no purpose, even if it tries to. Of course, there are big problems with the CGI here. It looks unpleasant for me, it simply doesn't work - it looks fake, especially when it's overused. I'm truly disappointed with Ang Lee for agreeing to use such massive amounts of CGI... Maybe I'm too subjective on this matter, but it really dragged the film down for me. Another disappointing aspect is that the film literally tells you that it's actually symbolic. <Look, THIS symbol and THIS one, those are SYMBOLS. The ending is also VERY SYMBOLIC because even the things you thought that were not symbolic, it turns out they WERE SYMBOLS.> This forced cheap symbolism really annoyed me. Even the ambiguity of the story is forced. Obviously Ang Lee's weakest film.

Son of the White Mare (1981)

Genius animation!

[8/10 · 25 April 2018]

It was a pleasant surprise seeing folk tales I grew up with come to life. I guess Hungarian folk tales influenced Romanian folk tales, or maybe they share the same source. It's not just the same numerology symbolism, storytelling and dialogues; the Romanian folk tales I used to read when I was a kid are virtually identical with everything depicted in this animation. Brilliant psychedelic imagery (nice experiments with shapes and colors), brilliant storytelling and even some subtle humor moments. This animation should be sent in space as radio signals or something, because I pretty much consider it the essence of the human spirit, an excellent depiction of primordial human philosophy.

Lady Vengeance (2005)

Extremely disappointing for South Korean film standards!

[6/10 · 25 April 2018]

I seriously have no idea what the director wanted to accomplish here. There are some major flaws that ruined this movie! The editing was so bad, I almost felt embarrassed just by watching some scenes; most of the scenes (especially the ones that tried to be symbolic) felt more like really bad commercials with cheap editing methods (a good example is the "You have (no) mother" scene). It hurts me to say this, but the movie lacked subtlety and many times it felt too cliched to invoke anything. At some points, even the acting was awkward and unprofessional (the scenes with the Australian parents anyone?)... and I don't even want to talk about the movie's structure and pacing; clearly, there are major flaws in those departments. Sure, there are many ingenious moments thrown here and there; and the plot, while being extremely thin, is actually pretty cool (at least on paper). There was simply not enough material for an almost-2 hour movie. I really had higher expectations for this particular movie!

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

A mixed bag

[5/10 · 25 April 2018]

The original "Fantasia" was groundbreaking for its time and it aged very well; it really challenged our imagination. So, an update/sequel was really necessary? Let's see. The first segment contains some of the most repulsive patterns and textures I've ever seen; it almost gave me a headache... blah! The second segment is even worse; the idea might have been good but dear God, those wales look awful! I don't really complain about the CGI, but here, it simply doesn't work combined with traditional animation. Fortunately, here comes the best segment (third); it looks really cool and has some dynamic animation combined with great ideas; it puts a smile on your face; too bad it wasn't released separately. The fourth segment is pretty meh; I don't know, the animation is not very appealing; it really lacks something; too synthetic and lifeless. Pass. Then, a breath of fresh air; good ol' slapstick humor; short and sweet. The sixth segment is the definition of redundancy; what were they thinking?! The final 2 segments are just OK but I've seen similar ideas done much better; so, still meh. Also, Steve Martin... really??!... REALLY?? So, "Fantasia 2000" is worth watching just for the 3rd and 5th segment.

Holy Motors (2012)

I want Oscar's job!

[8/10 · 25 April 2018]

I always had this goofy thought while walking outside and observing various people - all those weird homeless guys talking to themselves, people interacting with each other, fights, road rages, intense argues, random conversations etc are enjoyable for me; those guys are doing some solid acting! I like to think that everyone is actually acting, and it's not real. Then, this movie appeared to confirm my theory. What a pleasant surprise this movie was! An alternate reality where actors are using a whole city as a stage (and maybe the whole world?) and where reality mixes with fiction? Yes please! Of course, it's a 100% interpretable movie, so there can be many debates. I have to admit it though; this movie is screaming "let's win the Cannes Film Festival!" I don't like to use the word "pretentious", but this can enter that category; sometimes things get a little forced, but not without a purpose; so this is a good pretentious movie. Also, Denis Lavant was awesome here. If Lynch was a Frenchmen, he would probably release this movie.

WALL·E (2008)

An exception within the computer animated movie business

[9/10 · 25 April 2018]

I've always had a problem with computer animations, even in the early stages. With very few exceptions, they all look the same and follow the same ideas and patterns. Of course, the major problem is that they're keep coming, and getting more and more duller. The graphics are simply not appealing to me; 3D computer generated animations simply lack emotions and depth. They might be on the right side of the uncanny valley, but there's still a problem with textures and facial expressions - eerily cold and somehow mechanic expressions. Hand-drawn animations are clearly more expressive, with natural movements and more spontaneity. This adds a warm touch to the overall atmosphere. Now, for plot ideas and jokes; everything is recycled; same jokes, different faces. The jokes are a combination of wacky, witty and semi-satirical moments taken straight from Tex Avery or Hanna-Barbera production cartoons and the classy, emotional and romantic moments from the early Disney cartoons; actually, some ideas are copied even from other computer animated movies. Of course, there are indeed some very few exceptions; this movie for instance; the computer generated images actually work here and paradoxically, the protagonists have real emotions. The fact that this movie doesn't rely on dialogues is another highlight here. There are some major mistakes here (ex. the effects of a ship leaning in space), but what the hell, I really don't care. I appreciate the sincerity of this movie. A charming romance with a subtle satirical content and "Do androids dream of electric ship" concepts, for all the kids in the world. This is the point where the whole computer animated movie business should have stopped...

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

The whatever picture

[6/10 · 25 April 2018]

There was simply not enough material for a full-length movie; it would have been a very good episode. Damn, they could have added just a few ideas, changed the plot structure a little bit and shortened the movie with 30-40 minutes... it had so much potential! Being too slow-paced is not the real problem; the plot was simply too thin for such a long movie. So, the movie is not thrilling, nor dramatic or introspective (although it tends to be)... there is an initial spark of mystery, followed by a tone of inconsistent and uninteresting scenes; but it has a very interesting conclusion. I don't know if this idea has been used before, but I liked it very much! So the movie had a redeeming conclusion, but did I really need to spend more than 2 hours for that?

Woman in the Dunes (1964)

Erotic scenes and sand? More please!

[10/10 · 25 April 2018]

So this is what usually happens when you want to study sand species of Coleoptera on the field! Anyway, the movie is pure genius. It's the most claustrophobia and paranoia-inducing movie I've ever seen! Sand is the main symbol and catalyst for everything that's happening here. As the movie begins, we can see a zoomed image of an individual particle of sand grain, several of them and then entire sand dunes; sand may be a symbol for continuity, repetition, infinity. An eerie movie about human emotions, human existence and the effects of total isolation... the fragile balance between sanity and... insanity. I somehow feel that this movie affected my subconscious... and I feel dehydrated! A mistake I noticed (that really doesn't matter): that's not an ash beetle (Buprestidae family) he's talking about, but a tiger beetle from the Cicindelinae subfamily (notice the powerful mandibles). An entomologist should know the difference!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Bland, boring, lazy and uninspired

[5/10 · 25 April 2018]

So, why is this movie a failure? Is it because of the unrealistic scenes or over the top acting? No, those aspects are present in the original trilogy too (although some scenes here make the other movies look like documentaries). Is it because of the sci-fi theme? Are aliens a problem? I don't actually think this is the problem either, although this idea feels forced and uninspired; remember that the other Indiana Jones movies have a fantasy vibe. So what's the real problem? Simple. It's just extremely poorly written and directed; it's lazy and uninspired. Ironically, the use of CGI also ruins this movie. The action scenes are not very intense and thrilling, even with all that CGI business. This was indeed a failure but it's not the worst thing ever; a promising start, but everything after that is disappointing...

Inception (2010)

Dreams or reality? This movie almost depicts them the same!

[6/10 · 25 April 2018]

Christopher Nolan seems to have forgotten the most important aspect of a dream: dreams are chaotic and have no logic. The depiction of dreams is just wrong. I would have understood if he used another concept... I don't know... alternative realities or implanting the logic of reality into a dream (for example physics and character behavior and control from the real world), lucid dreaming or even the sleep paralysis state (where you are fully aware of your dreams that are projected into the real world, and you can control them). No, here is just the concept of dreams. All the dreams are action-based (really now?), they look normal, everyone seems to control them perfectly; everything is very well organized. Also, the physics match the real world; the presence of paradoxical architecture and other minor key elements are a positive thing here (but not enough to make a well-depicted dream). Too bad. This movie had great potential and contained an interesting plot. I also feel that the possible twist at the end was unnecessary. This is probably Christopher Nolan's weakest movie. Only David Lynch can handle the concepts and philosophy of dreams.

Solaris (1972)

Exploding emotions

[10/10 · 25 April 2018]

Andrey Tarkovskiy must be using the slowest filming techniques in the history of filmmaking... and that's something good actually; this way there is so much room for emotions that is being left. The movie clearly promotes profound human emotions. "Solaris" is actually more fast-paced than "Stalker", and both are outside of the boredom spectrum; most of the scenes are overwhelmingly eerie and beautiful, even if there's no dialogue. The philosophy here is outstanding! It gives a whole new purpose of the human existence on Earth. Everything is based on dialogues and symbolic imagery (typical Tarkovskiy concepts) and everything about this movie is a continuum revelation. Even after the end, the movie continues to echo into your mind. Artistic and soulful movie. An interesting observation: someone from the movie says something like this: "Don't transform this marvelous scientific phenomena into a cheap love story." Well, that's exactly what the American version is!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Influential but imperfect

[8/10 · 25 April 2018]

Another extremely slow-paced movie (not necessary a bad thing). As the movie begins, I'm wondering if it's really a movie or opera. Then, I'm wondering if it's a National Geographic documentary about evolution and paleoanthropology; immediately after that, I assume it's a documentary about paleoastronauts; finally I understand it's an epic science fiction movie based on Arthur C. Clarke's novel. Combining Western Classical Music and space imagery somehow works, and at the same time it doesn't; it just makes it more epic, but it creates an antithesis with the concept of space. I must say that this movie is somehow more accurate than most recent sci-fi movies: first of all, there's no sound in space! Also, everything happening looks quite plausible. It's a movie not based on dialogues, but on visuals and symbolism. Probably the movie has more meaning if you read the book first (the same goes to "Stalker"). A very influential sci-fi movie, but this doesn't make it a perfect one. Another case of a movie that enters the category "good but not THAT good".

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Is life (not) a fairy tale?

[10/10 · 25 April 2018]

Probably the darkest fairy tale ever; it's an antithesis between a fantasy world and the harsh and unmerciful reality. The atrocities during the Francoist Spain are dominating the real world. The fantasy world is also dark and full of foes. Before the movie ends, an immediate question comes in the viewer's mind: Is it really a fantasy world or just a child's imagination? Sergi López's performence is top notch; cold, extremely cruel and brutal, unsympathetic, disgusting, sadistic and almost lacking emotions; yeah, my favorite character in the movie is evil! Ivana Baquero must be mentioned too; a pretty good performance for her age. Beware, this is not a typical fairy tale!

The Elephant Man (1980)

... who is the real monster?

[10/10 · 25 April 2018]

The dramatic content is obvious in this movie; a major departure from Lynch's original style (remember that this is right after "Eraserhead"). While "Eraserhead" is nightmarish, cold, highly disturbing and surrealist, "The elephant man" is dramatic and more stylized; and very dark; a somehow rare combination: dramatic and dark; it aimed towards a totally different direction - drama and biography. In "Eraserhead", Lynch shocked the audience with unreal nightmarish images and events, cold and emotionless characters and dystopian-ish images; here, his purpose was to leave the audience drowning in tears - there are characters full of emotions, emotional scenes, extreme sadness, sadness and again sadness and everything is marked with stunning and exquisite imagery related to the industrial revolution (+ symbolic imagery). Probably Anthony Hopkins' first real big performance; John Hurt has also done a really good job here. A movie that questions humanity and the principles of morality.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

May the Qi be with you!

[10/10 · 25 April 2018]

I first saw this movie at the cinema when I was about 12 years old. It was the first time I witnessed this type of movie. I instantly loved it; it captured my attention even before the first fighting scene. At that age I was pretty naive, but it's interesting the fact that I was not very surprised when I saw people flying around. My subconscious dictated me that it's something natural in those type of movies, with a certain type of philosophy, and in certain parts of the globe. I loved the introspective ending too. Everything in this movie is perfectly balanced - the fighting scenes, the relationship between characters, the plot, the drama, the romance. Already a classical modern martial arts movie. Great fighting synchronization, great atmosphere, great storyline; it's perfect!

The Fly (1986)

Diptera terror!

[10/10 · 25 April 2018]

Back when I was 9-10 years old, the horror genre started to fascinate me, thanks to my dad. I started watching movies with him at night, and then it became a routine. I don't even remember the names of all those horror movies that I have watched, except a few classic-cult movies such as "The thing" or "Alien". When I heard about "The fly", I immediately wanted to watch it. Firstly, there's my fascination with insects; secondly, I heard it was horror. After the movie, I transcended into my bedroom of solitude and entered an intense meditation that fucked up my perception upon life and death. Usually, a horror movie injected in me fear and insanity; now, I also felt misery, desperation and extreme sadness. It was the first time I felt that way after watching a horror movie; indeed it was a premiere for me that night - the first time I experienced a drama/horror movie ( + sci-fi). Everything seems perfect here: Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis' performances are top-notch, also a great plot, great scenes, stunning makeup and visual effects, memorable and majestic soundtrack. The creature effects are just pure awesomeness; for me, it surpasses all that CGI business, even today! In a horror movie, the use of CGI somehow makes it more predictable and less scary (the CGI makes it real and too natural to get scared). If it's done without the use of CGI (the use of suits, mechanized puppets etc), while it looks more fake, the subconscious perceives it as an anomaly, as something unnatural and thus, more disturbing, eerie, uncanny. The final "Brundlefly" creature's movement is so incredibly disturbing, just because of that; not to mention that it's anatomically correct - the inferior maxilla dropped in order to make room for other arthropod-like mouthparts, including the proboscis and the protruding labial palps. This movie is the pure definition of horror!

Avatar (2009)

It should have been a sci-fi documentary...

[5/10 · 25 April 2018]

A perfect example of a movie that is abusing special effects. Layers over layers of CGI, more special and visual effects, more! Spend hundreds of millions of dollars, we need realistic effects! We suffer from obsessive-compulsive overused CGI disorder! etc etc. Seriously, with all that CGI business, this could have been great if it aimed to another direction - a documentary; Instead of one-dimensional characters, one-dimensional plot and a one-dimensional storyline, try to make it more thrilling and interesting! Remember "Alien Planet" or the awesome series from "The future is wild"? That's what I'm talking about! Fantasy, imagination and science. So, I wanted to know about the gas giant planet Polyphemus and its tropical moon Pandora; I wanted to know about the spaceships that traveled there; I wanted to know more about the biology of the creatures and a possible classification of all the organisms, about the weather systems, pedology, geology etc. The movie barely tells you anything; sure, you could do some research and see the science behind "Avatar", but I wanted to hear this in the movie! The characters are flat and forgettable. Actually I somehow enjoyed Stephen Lang' s performance here (Colonel Miles Quaritch). And that's it... everything on this movie SCREAMS Hollywood!! So, it looks like it was a completely wasted potential. So much money spent... for nothing.

Cloverfield (2008)

Shaky, Shaky, Shaky!

[7/10 · 25 April 2018]

A first-person-type movie... familiar? Yeah, let's not talk about the fact that this idea has already been done by other movies, as long as it's done good. So, what we got here is a giant monster and its origins are unknown. Initially I presumed it is an aquatic creature - I noticed the tentacles and at some point in the movie, even some kind of external gills near its head; but then, I saw its incredibly non-hydrodynamic body... maybe from outer space? It actually doesn't matter; it matters that it's huge... and it's on the rampage! The characters in this movie are pretty well-contoured and credible. In a giant monster/disaster movie, its greatest challenge is to aim at the reaction of masses during any form of cataclysm. Where "2012" failed, this one succeeded. Well, I'm talking about loosing sanity, the well-known self-preservation behavior etc (See "The mist", a movie which relies more on that than the creatures themselves). Oh, I forgot to mention the subliminal messages scattered throughout this movie; all I'm gonna say is "Them!", "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms", "King Kong", and also something crucial that happens at the end of the movie. Do the research yourself!

The Host (2006)

It's funny 'cause it's sad!

[9/10 · 25 April 2018]

This is a great non-cliche monster movie! Actually, the interesting part is that the story revolves around analyzing the human nature. Although the mutant creature is the cause of everything, the characters matter the most ("The mist" comes in mind somehow). Mixed feelings is the definition of this. Satirical, funny, awkwardly funny, then there's drama and so much drama that it turns out to be funny; also some action scenes, some ridiculously funny scenes and many awkward moments; the black comedy is pretty prominent here actually. I like how it jumps from dramatic scenes to comedy scenes. There are some symbolic scenes here too. I'm not going to reveal them of course, but I must mention the scene where all 4 main characters are gathered at the table and then something happens. This is not a spoiler because the scene is very obvious. Powerful and emotional moments like this are actually scattered throughout the whole movie. I don't know why I saw some horror tags. I don't actually see too much horror in this... maybe some shocking moments, but far from horror. The creature's animation was awesome. I'm not a big fan of CGI (especially movies abusing special effects), but this is CGI done with style. The movements and... acrobatics of the creature look very organic, they're very smooth and delicate. I was trying to understand the concept of the creature, for some reason... it's an ichthyo-amphibian mutant or something, but its behavior is not at all similar to a fish or a salamander or frog. Well, this is not the point; the point is that the governmental corporations are corrupted and USA sucks... look I'm being funny now. No, seriously... great movie!

Grizzly Man (2005)

Unbearable drama...

[10/10 · 15 April 2018]

A great documentary about a troubled man that misinterpreted the concept of biodiversity conservation. Herzog didn't agree nor disagree with Treadwell's actions but was more fascinated by him as a nature filmmaker and by his extreme and weird ambitions. This insightful documentary also deals with the protagonist's psych, masterfully delivered by the director; this almost becomes more of a psychological drama than a nature documentary. The usual dark and pessimistic tone, typical in Herzog's films is also present here. Herzog's directing and constant interferences makes this the most artsy nature documentary I've seen so far. For example, that moment when he appears in front of the camera and listens to that audio tape, it's pure cinematic art! As a scholar in environmental sciences, I disagree with Treadwell's sloppy and unprofessional expeditions, but also somehow admire his courage and honest heart. It's interesting that he didn't choose an essential endangered species (even some invertebrates have a higher risk of extinction), but a very dangerous one, like he was asking for it. Treadwell was not a role model, nor hero or true naturalist; even if he's done more harm than good to wild bears, he was sincere and passionate about his work; a naive grown-up child that wanted peace for all living creatures on Earth.

The Thing (1982)

Bleak and cold

[10/10 · 15 April 2018]

Well, another movie that I first enjoyed when I was little. It is indeed among the horror movies that subtly changed my perception of life and death. This and "The fly" have emotional values for me; unlike "The fly", this one is much rawer and colder. The atmosphere is the opposite of any drama-influenced movies - even the characters are cold and unsympathetic; there's barely any emotion in this movie (and in a good way of course). Extreme paranoia, bleakness, hopelessness and resignation are dominant here. Human psychology is yet again being explored. Kurt Russell fits perfectly here and it's probably his best performance in his whole movie career - an emotionless and calculated badass that uses logic in order to solve everything. "The thing" also proves that CGI does not belong in the horror movie business.

Fanny and Alexander (1982)

One of the most rewarding movies ever

[10/10 · 15 April 2018]

It may sound strange, but my advice is to see the shorter version first in order to fully appreciate this. Being a "love it or hate it" type of movie, only then you can decide whether the longer version is worthy of your time or not. I've seen the shorter version first and it left me hungry; it clearly feels rushed and incomplete; there are many moments that don't seem to interconnect very well. I admit, the cutting could have been done better for the shorter version; it feels too abrupt and affects the overall pacing. Nevertheless, it fueled my interest for the four-part miniseries; I wanted more details! Just as I anticipated, the longer version is clearly superior because of the extraordinary character development and the inclusion of many key scenes. It really feels that Bergman gave the very best of him and "squeezed" all his inspiration into the making of this movie. Everything here is extremely colorful and rich-textured. Indeed, the cinematography and dialogues (especially monologue scenes) are very reminiscent of the works of Andrei Tarkovsky. I must add that there are many semi-horror moments throughout the movie.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich? Malkovich...

[8/10 · 15 April 2018]

Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich? Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich... Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich.

Troll Hunter (2010)

Class Mammalia, Ord. Primates, Fam. Trollidae

[8/10 · 15 April 2018]

Firstly, you will notice the smashing similarity with "Cloverfield" (that first person camera thingie), but it's even better! The landscapes of Norway are indeed beautiful, but it's nothing new here... Norway is practically 40% woodland, 55% mountains and rocks, and the rest represents agricultural pastures. Buildings and infrastructure have a percentage below 1%. Now, the Trolls... I like this idea of "documentary", even if it's not real. In fact, everything is so well made that you actually believe it's plausible! I enjoy SF documentaries such as "The future is wild" or "Alien Planet"; you know that everything is just supposition, but scientifically explained and logic-based, so you take it as it could be real! The idea of taking a mythical creature and put it in the natural world is brilliant! The Troll concepts in this movie, are pretty weird... They seem to be caricatured, with an almost cartoon-ish physiognomy (especially their large proboscis); but they're so incredibly well animated! They look so organic, with great textures and realistic movements; the way they react, move, their behavior, and the sounds they are emitting, makes them quite menacing, shocking and intimidating. But there's also the humor factor... there are many funny scenes in the movie. As the movie progresses, you find information about those creatures. The government somehow managed to hide them from the general public, and it looks like they have always existed there. I like that they are described as being a species in its natural habitat. Nothing magical about it, just incredible creatures. They are also classified in different subspecies... yep, no cryptozoology bullshit, no pseudoscience crap... everything is scientifically explained and it's weird that the story makes you believe it. There are even explanations about how some chemical reactions in their body make them explode or turn them from organic form to complete mineralization. Well, except the part where they smell the blood of Christians... uh-oh! There's also something magical happening in there! We should preserve those wonderful creatures... they should have a conservation status even... maybe they're endangered! But let's not forget that Trolls are... St00p1d, and that's actually a wonderful thing about them! The movie contains some intense footage, it's breath-taking, it even has horror moments, many funny scenes and dialogues and a bit of drama. An unique experience!