alphonsesclessin Reviews

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

Don't see this one after The Mandalorian and/or The book of Boba Fett

[2/10 · 3 June 2022]

After really enjoying The Mandalorian and the Book of Boba Fett I was really hoping Disney had found the right track for Star wars.

Sadly enough Obi-Wan Kenobi is in line with the awful movies.

Acting mediocre at best. Story, weak and contradicting many Star Wars historical arcs. Writing/dialogue childish.

Please Disney, give all Star Wars productions to Jon Favreau who was creating masterpieces which old and new fans could watch over and over again.

What a shame.

Scorpion (2014–2018)

Show about smart people not for smart people

[2/10 · 24 January 2021]

As many reviewers already mentioned this show is totally unrealistic. Anyone with any technical/engineering/IT background will be irritated watching this.

No, fiction doesn't have to be a 100% accurate, but when writers think it's enough to paste some IT-techy-words together to have characters sound 'supersmart' of course it gets very ridiculous very fast for anyone with even a basic understanding of engineering,physics, IT or any domain alike.

Maybe if you have no knowledge at all of technology this is watchable. But if you know how to execute an ip renew in windows, I advise you to skip this one to avoid frustration.

Edit: Seems the real Walter O'Brien, who is apparantly just a fraud (his 197 IQ story is based on a IQ test during his childhood for which there's no proof), is one of the main writers of this show, but the guy also runs a software firm. Fraud alert!

Rampage (2018)

Nice effects, bad writing

[3/10 · 20 February 2020]

As is the problem with a lot of movies today, Rampage is not bad in presenting some nice images and CGI but fails horribly in storytelling and character development.

Ok, it's not supposed to be a Sheakspeare 2.0, but that doesn't mean dialogues and characters should sound or look like they've been copied from a childrens show where villains are some sort of 'funny' duo with one stupid guy explaining all their evil plans out loud or where people act really like idiots all the time.

The story as such could have been the basis for a good popcorn fantasy blockbuster. Nothing wrong with that. But when dialogues would even be cringy in Gordy (with the talking pig) you know you went under the bar.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

Entertaining and true to the SW galaxy

[7/10 · 13 February 2019]

Unlike the new trilogy, which is really a disaster to say the least, this film succeeds in creating a new 2018 movie which fits in the original galaxy we all came to love from the first trilogy.

I think it's already a great accomplishment for anyone to make a new story without creating major conflicts whit the already existing stories. On top of this the story is also good and entertaining, characters are also ok and believable. And for me there were no real WTF-moments like I found multiple in the latest trilogy.

All round this was a very good movie worthy to be called a good addition to the original series (first and second trilogy). A shame the same poeple who made this did'nt make the new trilogy, but at least they proved new Star Wars stories don't have to be really crappy stupid movies and as a fan that's already a big relief.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Lost count of plot holes

[2/10 · 5 January 2019]

People calling this a strong social commentary should start reading some books. This movie as a social commentary is as deep as an average puddle after 5 min. of rain.

Sci-fi can have some non-realistic elements to it for instance on a technological level, but there's a limit where possible progress becomes stupidity especially when it's totally not explained. Big flaws for me:

-Less people working than people doing nothing all day = not realistic at all. -All resources are recycled (no new resources are takn into the train) = ridiculous -It's a super-duper-train from the future but logical sequence of train cars wasn't thought about... Yeah right! -The best way to think of controlling populace was really to start a revolution now and then... Great thinking -And so on and so on...

For scenario, story, logic etc. this film get's 1 star, I gave it one extra for some nice displays/decors.

The Legend of Zorro (2005)

Is he a drunk? Is he quite a poor dad? No it's Zorro!

[4/10 · 1 January 2019]

Not convinced by this movie. Some aspects are just not right: 1 The original Zorro was a fine intelligent nobleman in this film Zorro is Some kind of spoiled rich kid with no manners whatsoever. That's not Zorro. 2 on a historical level the film is just a joke. Ok it's fantasy but still you can try harder. 3 The fighting scenes with the kid are an assault on anyones intelligence. Especially 'cause he triumphs multiple times over multiple armed adults. Again, I know it's fantasy and again I can only dat there's a limit to stretching the imagination in a non-fantasy world. 4 action scenes are not convincing probably due to trying to meet the 'all ages' requirements.

Summary: not the worst film ever but there's better to be seen.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

Hollywooditis, nice looks, no substance

[1/10 · 23 November 2018]

Star Wars has also been infected by the disease called Hollywooditis. Movie looks nice when it comes to effects, cinematography, etc. but the story is beyond poor. If anyone has spent more than a day on the storyline he or she should be ashamed.

Most of the plotholes and stupid ideas are already explained multiple times by other reviewers so won't be typing that again.

My general comment: Just because the images look pretty and your movie is SJW-proof doesn't make it a good movie you Hollywood *******. A good movie starts with the substance, the story, the characters, the double layers and so on.

Hollywood movies today look like cars which are painted in a nice color but without a functioning motor inside. Sadly enough this Star Wars is one of those Hollywood creations.

Gods of Egypt (2016)

What the ****

[1/10 · 21 September 2018]

Pros and cons for this movie:

Pro: Courtney Eaton's cleavage

Cons: Poor writing, poor CGI, poor acting, poor everything

What's really disturbing though is that beside some names of Egyptian gods nothing of the rich Egyptian mythology was used or incorporated. Hell, even some names (Set without an 'h') of Egyptian gods are misspellt.

For anyone who has any knowledge about Egyptian history just don't watch it, very frustrating.

Extinction (2018)

Good idea, execution mediocre

[5/10 · 31 July 2018]

Attention: SPOILERS!!!

The whole idea behind the story is a nice twist on known alien-invasion stories but the execution for me has some big flaws which made this movie hard to watch.

First of all, the children. Although the thought of robots developing some feelings in one way or another is reasonable but robots acting so emotional/non-rational as the kids in this film is just moronic and totally unbelievable. The worst here is that the behavior of the children is also totally useless for the story and brings no added value whatsoever.

Secondly, we're watching robots which seem to be technologically very advanced and are capable of doing and thinking out everything humans did/thought out before but when it comes to equipment, skills etc. in battle man comes up with seemingly better technology, better skills ... And all of this was built up in exile on Mars? Second big logical flaw for me, and again, the story could do just without.

Third, although not the most important for me. Some effects looked cheap. The bridge disapearing at the end could have been a scene from The Thunderbirds.

I think more could have been done with this story which has potential in my point of view.

Idiocracy (2006)

People giving this a low score should know movie is about them

[8/10 · 17 December 2017]

Great movie with predictive qualities if you look at American politics today. Not all jokes are great and effects and probs are clealy cheap but that's not what this movie is about.

People whining over the poor CGI or the fart/ass/fag-jokes are actually the main subject of this film. Considering budget an 8 out of 10 is a fair rating. I've seen movies with +100 times this budget doing way worse in storytelling, script/story, plot or overall writing so you will.

Het eiland (2004–2005)

Great!

[9/10 · 17 August 2017]

When you're a Belgian or Dutch speaking person you got to love this. Great acting, fantastic script and unbelievably funny! I don't know if there's a subtitled version for non-Dutch speaking people and if the special kind of humor would be understood by everyone but I can only advice everyone to give it a try. Do not expect anything you're used to but see this as a positive feature.

The Karate Kid (2010)

The new karate kid

[3/10 · 17 August 2017]

Hollywood should really stop making remakes of classics and this film is, next to films such as Ben Hur, a great example why. Opposing to other reviewers I don't think the actors can be made responsible for this kind of washout, it's just a poor script put on a story everyone already knows. The only way you could make this kind of remake into a success is by altering the story on key points and that's just what they didn't do.

Me myself and I think many with me aren't waiting on old movies remade with today's (better) CGI and poor scripts.