tstudstrup Reviews

Oppenheimer (I) (2023)

Incredibly borin

[1/10 · 4 December 2023]

Its just a lot of people talking, talking and then talking some more. For reasons unknown all scenes that take place at the end of WW2 is shot in black and white. Everything else is in color. There are way too many characters, that only historians have heard of. And way too many references that also only historians would recognize.

So according to the movie Oppenheimer was mentally ill, had a wife and two kids and a mistress on the side. At one point his wife finds out. At another point we find out that the mistrees killed herself because Oppenhimer wouldn't leave his wife for her. All of this is as boring as the rest of the movie.

This moivie has cast a huge number of great actors, except Kenneth Brannagh, who plays Danish physicist Niels Bohr. An insult since Brannagh is british and Nolan had many great danish actors he could have chosen from to play a dane. To add to the insult Brannagh barely even tries to speak with a Danish accent. And he has already insulted the Swedish crime noir show by playing swedish Wallander, speaking English. As well as made a mockery out of Hercule Poirot. I don't know why this awful actor gets so many jobs.

Ther rest of the cast all acts fine, but theyre also all very boring and I cant remember a single characters name. It was also a huge problem in the plot appaerently that every physicist and engineer they hired was sucpected of being communists. This is also very boring and adds nothing exciting to the plot.. Me and my friend gave up after about an hour, that felt like two hours. My friend who is a huge fan of Christopher Noland movies wanted to stop watching first. That says a lot. I wanted to see if it got better. It didn't.

The one star that I'm forced to give goes to the casting od the actor that plays Einstein. He looks exactly like him.

Don't watch this drivel. You will have more time watching paint dry in slow-motion.

Uncharted (2022)

Disclaimer: this is a mockery of Uncharted.

[1/10 · 11 November 2023]

Disclaimer: this is a mockery of Uncharted.

That should have been at the beginning of this turd of a movie.

Once again leave it to Mark Whalberg to take a piss on a great character and one of the greatest computer games ever made. He did it before with Max Payne. And here he is again. And probably paid top-dollar to do it.

He is NOT Victor Sullivan. Victor Sullivan is a guy in his sixties with grey hair who smokes cigars. Whalberg just plays himself. The real Sully would also never treat Nathan so dis-respectfully. Nor would he lie to him (Sams, Nates older brother is not dead) get Nate in trouble and not save him. And the real Sully also wouldnt be using Nate to find a treasure and be ab greedy backstabbing bastard, which he is here.

Oh and don't even get me started on Peter Parker, uhm I mean Tom Holland. He is at best Nathan Drakes goofy nephew. He still looks like he's 15 years old. This "Nathan" can't handle himself in a fight. He apologizes for kicking a guy in the head, who tries to kill him. He let's people steal from him again and again. And he doesn't even pick up a gun untill the third act of the movie. And apart from an awesome opening action sequence that they cut into in the middle or and away from 3 minutes later, there has been zero action 45 minutes in.

The third act of the movie actually get Uncharted right as far as the action scenes are done. Its pretty awesome. But when everything else sucks, it dosnt matter.

This movies Khloe is the only character they get right. Even though she would never work for the badguys in the games.

The second worst part is how much money they spend on this lazy insult on the amazing adventurous Uncharted games. Except from the crucifixes (not crosses!!) that looks like something from Toys R' US.

The worst part is obviously the casting. Nathan Drake is a 35 year old muscular man who can handle himself in a fight, shoots badguys with ease, can climb tall buildings with no equipment and solve every riddle he comes across, because he knows his history. Tom Holland is just Peter Parker. Only way more pathetic here.

I already covered Whalberg, who is so as mis-cast as Jai Courtney in Terminator Genisys.

To add to the insult Peter Parker meets a guy on a beach who actually looks like Nathan Drake. It's as insulting as when they made a Baywatch movie with Dwayne Johnson in the lead and David Hasselhoff shows up for one scene in the movie.

To add further to the insult this is a PG13 movie. So lots of bloodless kills. The games are bloody.

And Antonio Banderas; omg: one of the most pathetic badguys ever in a film. Stop giving him parts in American movies and let him work in Spain for Pedro Almodovar. He is much better in those movies.

There are zero thrills in this movie. I had more fun watching the small movies between each level in the games than watching this. And the awesome music from the first three games, is of course also missing here.

A fan based short movie was made in 2018 with Nathan Fillon and Stephen Lang as the perfect Nathan and Sully. But God forbid Holltlywood should have watched that and said hey: let's cast these actors. And let's leave it to Naughty Dog to produce this movie and get it right. With the real awesome music. And if not let's at least have played the games and made a tribute to them with this movie.

No instead they made this piss-poor piece of crap movie, to insult the games and all of us fans.

I'm done with these awful movie adaptations of legendary computer games.

The script writers and director Ruben Fleischer (Venom,Zobieland) should be taken outside and shot for this garbage!!

Two mid credit scenes leads to a sequel nobody wants to see happen..

Avoid this movie and any possible sequels at all cost!!

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Is this meant to be a comedy?

[2/10 · 3 November 2023]

So you have all of these gorgeous girls that are completely naked in several scenes. And this demended killer with some kind of cordless power drill, that he uses to kill mostly young girls. Whats not to like right?

Well apart from the nudity and some nice kills and good special effects for the time, the acting is pretty awful. Ive seen better acting in porn from that time. For a movie that only lasts an hour and 16 minutes it feels more like three hours. Because its so boring. Every character, except the killer is so dumb and clueless that they don't realize theyre in danger until the last 20 minutes. The church organ music gets really annoying after a short time.

I cant really recommend this movie to anyone. And I like slasher movies. But this just sucks.

And by the way the power drill never runs out of power. Which seems ridicolus.

I give it 2 stars. One for the hot naked girls. And one for the special effects.

Armageddon (1998)

As bad as Bruce Willis'obvious wig in the movie.

[1/10 · 22 June 2023]

This is Michael Bays worst film ever!! The scene where Ben Affleck feeds Liv Tyler with amimal shaped biscuits, while her own father Steven Tyler sings in the soundtrack at the same time, is the worst love scene in the entire history of cinema.

The rest of the movie sucks too. Both dramatically and when the movie tries to be funny, it falls flat on its own ass. The scene where Bruce Willis sacrifices himself to blow up the asteroid and he amd Afglrck both cry like a couple of little schoolgirls is crimgeworthy. Definitely the worst scene in the movie.

For a Bay movie there isnt even alot of action. Every character in the movie is unlikable. And its boring and way too long.

Im forced to give this movie one star but I rate it minus ten stars.

Avoid this.

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Sick and disgusting.

[1/10 · 19 May 2023]

The first one was also sick, but watchable. Not much of a plot.

The second one, Ive fastforwared through so Ive seen most of it. But there is one murder of a young girl in her own room that is so disgusting, that I got nauseous, watching it. Now I've seen several slasher movies, such as the Saw movies, Final Destianation and A Nightmare On Elmstreet and Friday the 13th and Hostel and Green Inferno. And I can handle the violence and actually think its fun to watch. But in Terrifier 2, the violence is just so grotesque and over the top, that it is just way too much. The villain Art The Clown is just really annoying. There is no reason for his murders. He is not doing it as vengeance towards someone, he simply kills, because he thinks its fun. Mostly young women. And he never speaks. Even when someone is able to hurt him he back, he never even moans or screams. He acts like a mime.

Therer isn't much plot in this one either. Art commited suicide at the end of the first movie and is resurrected by a supernatural entity, known as "the little pale girl". She looks like Art, but scarier. She is also a mime. Possibly Arts first murder victim, a ten year old girl. But why her spirit would help Art is not explained. She is also a shapeshifter and she can mimick peoples voices. She helps him with his murders. She is a needed addition and gives Art someone to interact with, other than the many people he kills. The first scene with her in a Laundromat is actually straight up horror. But that one scene don't save the movie. I reccommend watching that scene on youtube and skip the rest of the movie.

The one scene that imdb demands, goes to "the little pale girl".

I cannot recommend this movie to anyone. I know there are people out there, that likes really really sick movies, like this one as it has made a lot of money.

But unless youre one of them and you wanna keep your food down, do not watch this.

Debbie Goes to Hawaii (1988 Video)

Vintage porn from the good old days.

[10/10 · 16 May 2023]

With some of the hottest female pornstars of the 1980's. Erica Boyer, Nina Hartley and Krista Lane.

There are stewardesses and people on vacation on Hawaii. Tom Byron is a bartender at the hotel where the tanned voluptous goddess Erica Boyer is staying. She orders a couple of drinks from Tom. He barely enters her room before she pushes him down on her bed and proceeds to suck him off and screw him in THE hottest sex scene ever!! Lucky Tom also gets a b.j. From the hot Krista Lane on his birthday.

There is another hot sex scene also with Boyer and John Leslie and and Krista and Leslie. As well as a hot scene in an airplane toilet.

Amazing porn, back when female pornstars wasnt tattooed all over their bodies. And the highest possible video resolution of that time.

Highly recommended.

Two and a Half Men: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh (2008) Season 5, Episode 12

Not funny, just mean.

[1/10 · 7 April 2023]

I love Two And A Half Men. The real show with Charlie Sheen in the lead role.

But this particular episode made me uncomfortable.

When Rose drugs Charlie, for two weeks (while he has the flu or something) she goes from lovable stalker to psychotic. And thats not even the worst part. Alan, charlies brtother, does not come up and check on Charlie once, when Charlie doesnt leave his bedroom for those two weeks. And when he finally checks on Charlie, only because Charlie calls for him and Charlie tries to sneak out of the house, Alan immediately tells Rose. Charlies own mother couldnt care less that one of her sons are sick. And neither could Bertha or Jake for that matter. Making them all really awful people.

Charlie is not a very nice gy. But he didnt deserve this treatment.

This is suppose to be a sitcom, not an episode of some horror-show.

Missing in Action (1984)

Chuck Norris has the looks and acting skills of an orangutang.

[1/10 · 19 March 2023]

4 This movie is really bad. Even for its time there isn't very much action. The movie takes up, what feels like half an hour off the running time, having Chuck Norris escape a heavily guarded hotel, go to another part of town to get information from and kill some vietnamese general or whatever he is and then get back to the hotel unseen. While the plot goes nowhere.

The movie is badly acted, badly shot, with some decent although mediocre action scenes. Chuck Norris seem to have even less lines that Arnold had in the first Terminator movie. And Chucks acting is so lousy he makes Arnold seem like a Shakesperian actor.

The basic plot is that Chuck has to find some American prisoners of war in the Vietnamese jungle and free them. This Is done much better with basically the same plot, but clearly a much bigger budget in Rambo First Blood part 2. I recommend watching that instead and avoid this and any other Chuck Norris movie for that matter.

I'd give this movie zero stars if Imdb allowed it.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Kevin Hood Prince of American crap movies

[1/10 · 29 October 2022]

Looks and feels like a low-budget tv movie.

So we have Kevin Costner, playing Robin Hood with an american accent. And Christian Slater playing Will Scarlet, also with an american accent. The rest of the cast, except the actual british actors, such as Alan Rickman and a few others, tries to mimick a british accent. Because most of the cast are american actors. Including Christian Slater who plays Robin's brother. I kid you not. Appaerently Costner, wasn't able to speak with a convincing british accent, so the director let him speak with an american accent. Imagine Nottingham, spoken with an american accent and you will cringe. And that pretty much set the standard for the rest of the film.

The movie feels cheap. The way its shot and filmed, it feels like a made for tv movie of the early 90'ies. Not a big action adventure feature film. There are no big action scenes. Or any big special effects. For a movie with a budget of 48 million dollars, it feels more like an 8 million dollars budget. The only cool effect is when a camera seems to be attached to all of "Robins" arrows as he shoots them.

Movies such as Aliens with a budget of only 18 million dollars and Robocop , only 13 million dollars look far bigger and far more expensive than this crap. Even a masterpiece like Tombstone only had a budget of 25 million dollars. And it looked like a 100 million dollar movie. It's a matter of creativity and make do with the budget you've been given. The director Kevin Reynolds has no creativity and no talent for making movies either. Im surprised they even bothered to shoot the movie in England. They could just as easily have shot it in Canada as there are no british landmarks seen anywhere.

Why this movie did so well at the box-office, especially when it was released the same year as Terminator 2, is beyond me.

The acting is awful. Especially from Costner who looks as bored as we do. At one point in the movie he is suppose to give this big speech to the peasants and his men, urging them to fight back against the sherif and his men. He pretty much looks like hes' just memorizing his lines. He is not even raising his voice. Ive seen better speeches in later movies. Of course Mel Gibsons iconic speech in the much superior Braveheart. And even Bill Pullmans awful patriotic, presidential speech in Independence Day is better acted. Not even the otherwise always great

Alan Rickman is convincing as the Sherif Nottingham. Which isn't surprising as he wasn't given much direction. He was pretty much given free reigns, so his scenes must be mostly improvisation.

Oh and Sean Connery shows up on a horse for about 30 seconds at the very end, playing Sir King Richard. An actor this big and good doing the smnallest cameo ever in a film. I hope he was paid well for this. Must have been a favor to Costner after Kevin and Sean acted together in the far superior The Untouchables.

The only good thing is that it didn't have a huge budget, like Waterworld 175 million dollars or The Postman that had a budget of 85 million dollars. Which was still a lot in 1997.

I advice you not to watch or rewatch Kevin Hood Prince of American crap movies. If you must watch a Robin Hood movie, watch The Adventures of Robin Hood. It's a very old movie, from 1938 but at least Errol Flynn did a good job at playing Robin Hood. And its true to the myth.

Manhunter (1986)

Feels like a cheesy 80's tv movie.

[2/10 · 22 October 2022]

Manhunter Pro's Nice cinematography

Lecters cell is realistic. A white cell with brick walls and white bars. Not some medieval looking dungeon like in the later films.

Francis Dolarhyde is more realistic in the way you would expect a disgfigured serial killer to look like,compared, to the bodybuilders in The red Dragon and in the awful Hannibal series.

The always solid late Dennis Farina is also good here, as Jack Crawford. Unfortunately he is the only one.

Con's The acting is mostly bad, compared to all the later movies and even the series. William Petersen does not convince as the tortured Will Graham. Will Graham needs to be traumatized, scared and angry. He was the one that caught Hannibal Lecter and it nearly litterally killed him. William Petersen cant portray this convincingly. He is no Edward Norton and no Hugh Dancy (Will in the series) Neither does Brian Cox as Hannibal Lecter. Spelled Lecktor, for unknown reasons in this movie. There really s only one Hannibal Lecter and that is Anthony Hopkins.

Tom Noonan has the right looks as Francis Dolarhyde, but he is not scary.

Joan Allen is awful as Dolarhydes love interest, the blind girl Reba.

Stephen Lang is not convincing as Freddy Lounds. And Kim Greist is not even worth mentioning as Willl's wife Molly.

So you have all of these great actors (not counting Kim Greist) and none of them except Dennis Farina acts good.

Which is not really their fault, but bad directing from Michael Mann.

Speaking of, this is a Michael Mann movie. The guy that made Heat, which is a masterpiece. I expected a lot more from him. This felt like a tv movie even though it was an R-rated feature film. The only thing I did get, that I expected was the nice cinematography.

The soundtrack is heavy 80's synthesizer and misplaced rockmusic, which makes it hard to take the movie seriously.

The run time is 2 hours, but it feels more like 3 hours as it gets boring after a while.

Why this movie gets 7.2 stars on imdb and is considered better than the far superior later movies with Hopkins, Jodie Foster Ralph Fiennes and Edward Norton, is beyond me.

If you really just love the 80'ies and the music, clothes, glasses ands haircuts from that time, I suggest you watchiMiami Vice instead. Also made by Mann. Its far better and its just a tv show. Which llke I said is what this movie feels like.

I give it 2 stars. One for the cinematography and one for Dennis Farina.

Silverado (1985)

Rambles on for 2 hours and 13 minutes.

[1/10 · 7 July 2022]

Front and back!!

Quoting Ross in one of the funniest scenes in "Friends." However Silverado is not funny as it was marketed to be. It doesn't work as a serious western either.

Here is why.

*SPOILERS AHEAD* So you have this all star cast. Al though they weren't stars when this movie came out. Except John Cleese, who is unfortunately mis-cast here as a british sheriff in an American town. That doesn't make any sense. The problem is that all though they're all good actors, nobody really does a good job here. And I don't blame the actors. I blame the director and the editor. Several scenes drag on when they shouldn't and some of the actors don't always respond, when talked to. They just nod or give a weird stare back. And in some scenes, lines seem to have been edited out or not written at all. The music score doesn't match any of the scenes. You have this dramatic heoic score when nothing happens.

As for the plot, it takes more than an hour before anything really happens. And when it does finally get interesting, its still boring, because none of the villains in the movie are any real threat to the heroes. Theyre stupid and easily killed. Brian Dennehy as the corrupt sheriff smiles too much and is not menacing. Unlike Gene Hackman in The Quick And The Dead. And Jeff Goldblums character is also too nice. And its surprising when he turns out to be a bad guy as well. He is just there and when he finally does something he is killed really fast lie the rest of the bad guys.

There are three women in the movie too. One of them is ineptly played by Rosanna Arquette, who doesn't have much to do in the movie. Then there is some forgettable blonde woman who is the love interest of Kevin Costners character. And Linda Hunt as the owner of the saloon. Probably the only one who gives a really good performance amongst the whole cast.

If you want a good western, watch Tombstone, The Quick And The Dead and Young Guns 1 and 2.

Avod this turd.

CSI: Miami: Golden Parachute (2002) Season 1, Episode 1

Shallow and airplane nonsense

[1/10 · 5 June 2022]

It is not possible to open a cabin door inside a plane while its in the air. The pressure from the air outside makes the door weigh a ton. Even if the villain of the episode could open the door and push a woman out he would be sucked out of the airplane immediately after. That he would be the sole survivor when he wasnt even sitting in his seat strapped in, makes no sense either.

Its insulting in a show about science, that they insult the viewers intelillegence, by making the crime so unrealistic.

As for the show itself its bad. David Caruso is not very good as Horatio Crane. And there is zero chemistry between him and Kim Delaney, the only one that can act on this shallow show.

A pilot episode is suppose to introduce us to the characters. By the end of the show I cant remember a single characters name. Theyre all just very pretty crime scene investigators, with zero personalities. And the acting is really bad.

I have never understood why these shows are ao popular. But Naval CSi and CSI New York at least have decent acting.

And why the show was shot in Los Angeles and not Miami, must be because it was cheaper. But it seems stupid.

Avoid this if you want to watch an exciting cop show with an interesting story, likeable characters and good acting. CSI Miami has none of that.

90210 (2008–2013)

A shallow sequel to an iconic teen show.

[1/10 · 11 May 2022]

Just because, Kelly and Nat are in this show as the only characters from the original Beverly Hills 90210 as well as Kellys younger sister Erin and Andrea's daughter, does not make this a worthy sequel. Neither does it help that they also go to West Beverly High or that The Peach Pit is there, but look nothing like it did in the original show. To quote Jason Priestley who directed a few episodes of this knock-off: "they had all the toys, yet they couldnt make it work".

Because this show does look better. Its shot in 16.9 high def format and everything looks more expensive. But also much more shallow.

The original shows first three seasons (the high school years) had depth, warmth, good acting, good stories and likeable characters.

There isn't a single likeable character on this show. It also seems to be a chick-show as there are only two male characters who get any real screen-time. Dixon and Ethan. The rest of the characters are all female apart from the dad.

The Walshes were from Minnesota and they were not rich. Brandon and Brenda had a hard time trying to fit in to West Beverly. Their parents Jim and Cindy were great tv-parents.

The Wilson parents are better looking than Jim and Cindy, but they're not Jim and Cindy. The mom is ineptly played by the awful Lori Loughlin from Full House. The dad has a son somewhere, that his highschool sweetheart gave up for adoption. Really! That says soap opera from the very first episode.

This family The Wilsons (now from Kansas) are filthy rich and Dixon, a black kid is adopted. They move in to a huge mansion with a pool. The Walshes moved into a much smaller hoiuse wuith no pool and Jim struggled to make it affordable for them to stay in Beverly Hills. Its hard for Dixon to be adopted, but I don't care, because he barely has any lines and doesn't have any real problems. Neither doers the jerk Ethan, a clear copy of Dylan McKay without the great acting or the looks.

Even though Darren Star, the creator of the original show is back on this show, the magic is gone.

Having seen one episode, its obvious why. I can barely remember any of the characters. They are all very pretty, but equally shallow and completely unlikeable.

It even uses a new version of the original theme.

All this show did, was make me miss the original show. And the original characters. The original theme. Original everything.

I would haver much rather seen a sequel with the whole original cast as adults 30 something.

But that wouldn't have worked when they needed to sell this concept to a new generation of teens.

Groundhog Day (1993)

Too long and really depressing

[1/10 · 3 April 2022]

I used to like this movie, wehen I was younger.

But I saw it again yesterday and it was terrible.

The main problem are the three leads.

Bill Murray was funny in Ghostbusters. And that was it. He is not funny and not charming in this overrated turd of a movie.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

There is zero chemistry between him and the awful Andie McDowell. Which therer should be as they get romantiocally involved at the end of the movie.

Andie McDowell keeps switching between a normal accent and a southern accent, which combined with her bad acting, made her really annoying. I know she is from South Carolina. But an actress is suppose to be able to speak in any accent.

And what her character looks for in the perfect man, made me wanna throw up.

The fact that her characterr makes the movie drag on and on, when it should have ended, the minute it stopped being funny, (not that it ever was funny) makes her even more annoying.

And then there is Chris Elliot. An extremely funny actor who dont get to be the least bit funny in this movie. He is just there to point out how awful a person Phil Connors is.

And so is Bill Murray. He is like the poor mans version of Tom Hanks. He is chubby looking and extremely arrogant and very full of himself. Which I suspect Bill Murray is in real life too.

This movie was directed by the late Harold Ramis, who was also staring in Ghostbusters. His acting skills in that movie was limited. As was his directorial skills. Sorry to say so.

The funny parts in the movie was not funny.

Had this movie been 20 minutes shorter with better actors in the leads and more comedy that works, it might have worked.

This movie would have been perfect for Jim Carrey who was unknown at the time. But he would have nailed it. Dont believe me? Watch Bruce Almighty.

Avoid this. You will have more fun cleaning your toilet than watching this snooze fest.

Antlers (2021)

Scottt Cooper tried horror and failed.

[1/10 · 10 January 2022]

I hate Black Mass. Then Scott Cooper made two great movies with awesome acting. "Out of the Furnace" and "Hostiles". Both with Christian Bale in the lead. And now he has made Antlers. Without Bale. And its as bad as Black Mass.

Nothing works here. First of all the movie is way too dark. I couldn't see what the hell was going on in the mostly boring scenes. So I had to set my tv's llght to 100% And it was still very dark.

*Spoilers ahead*

The opening scene which should have set the mood and made the movie scary made no sense as Cooper didn't show us what happened to the two robbers inn the mine. They just heard a noise and that was it. Then they cut to a classroom. An annoying kid has written some story that is suppose to let us know something is wrong in his home. His equally annoying teacher ineptly played by Keri Russel is impressed by his story but also suspects thast something is wrong and starts following the annoying boy around the little town.

Jesse Plemont, who I suspect only get parts, because he looks exactly like Philip Seymour Hoffman, plays her brother and the sheriff in the town. So far his acting has not been even close to Hoffmanns. In my opinion he is not even a good actor. He still lives at the house where he grew up with his sister (the teacher) where they were appaerently beaten or something by their parents as kids. Its never truly revealed what happened to them. Only useless hints and their past is not even relevant to the story. Seeems like it was written to give these boring characters some depth. And yet were suppose to care. Had Cooper hired Bale as the sheriff and Rosamund pike as the teacher/sister it might have been a better movie. They had great chemistry in Hostiles and theyre both great actors. They mioght have saved the terrrible script.

The movie is, like I said, way too dark and very, very depressing. Which is impressive, considering how boring it is.

The Wendigo (a once human, turned spirit believed to be real by native Americans) is impressively made. But the movie focuses more on the siblings and the boy and his little brother and father. And its just not interesting. At one point a really stupid lady from the teachers school goes to the boyus house to check on him. The decaying house and the fact that it seems abandonded, doesn't make her go back outside and call the police and social services. No, she acts like a moron (the horror movie cliché) and walks up to the attic, where she is killed by the father (now a wendigo) and I couldn't care less, because she asked for it.

By the time the wholw wendigo story is explained, which happens when there is about 35 minutes left of the movie, I couldn't care less.

Scott Cooper , it seems, didn't knoiw if he wanted to make a horror movie or a story about a town going out of business and some traumatized siblings. And because of that, neither part of the movie works.

The one star that imdb demands in a review, goes to the special effects. Even though its hard to see it in the constant darkness . Just because little light worked on The X-files (which was actually well lit) doesn't mean it will work in everything else.

Avoid this if you wanna keep the illusion that Scott Cooper is a new major talent in Hollywood. Because he isn't.

Staying Alive (1983)

Even worse than the original.

[1/10 · 8 December 2021]

At first I thought okay, at least its not a depressing 70's move this time. But after a way too long opening that looks like a badly choreographed, badly edited dance video, things go down hill fast.

The main problem is that John Travolta is even more unlikeable as Tony Moreno the second time around. Its been 5 years and Tony is even more of a loser this time. He makes a living as a dance instructor, while he tries to get acting jobs, even though he has no actors training. He still goes after the same type of an arrogant prissy woman (because she can dance well) and turn down the nice women that actually wants him. Tony has not learned a damn thing.

Travolta has said that Sylvester Stallone (the director of this crap) is his favorite director to work with, (because he makes him look good) Which means Stallone made Travolta lose 20 pounds. Big deal. Doesn't improve his performance. And As far as Travoltas hair, visible eyeliner and clothes goes, he still looks ridiculous.

Had to turn it off after 10 minutes of torture.

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 2 (2021)

Terrible sequel that nobody asked for.

[1/10 · 9 November 2021]

I loved the first movie, as can be seen in my review of it.. Since it was such a big hit, a completely unnecessary sequel was made by the writer and director of the original. Just one year after the first movie.

But this sequel is just too weird for its own good. And it shouldn't have been made.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

The suirvivor of the first movie is back (as it is standard formula in horror movies) but I don't like what they do with her character in this movie. The new lead is likeable, but I don't like what they do with his character either. A better script, might have saved this movie, from being completely forgettable.

Just avoid this. I will try to erase this sequel from my mind and just remember the first movie.

Oh and a third movie is definetly in the works. It will most likely be terrible.

The one star goes to the special effects, which are as good as in the original.

Volcano (1997)

Annoying movie and annoying imdb user who cant handle swearing.

[1/10 · 5 November 2021]

I don't know what bothers me more, this movie or that guy who thinks Anne Heche is too foul-mouthed for him. Let me tell you something M. R. P. C.: if you were surrounded by lava from an erupt volcano, you'd probably swear too. It's called being human.

I first saw some of this movie in a cinema back when itcame out. I say some, because I fell asleep. It was that boring.

Now Ive finally seen thiswhole turd of a movie and I wish I hadn't. It has got to be the dumbest and most boring natural disaster movie ever made. Its filled with annoying characters, such as reporters explaining whats going on even though we can see it on the screen. Including a british reporter. What is her doing in L. A.?? A racist cop who arrests a black guy simply because he asks the firemen to put out the fires on his street. Roarkes boss, who is angry that Roarke (Tommy Lee Jones) is not sitting behind his desk instead of saving the city. Dumb guy who tries to save the most likely dead driver of a train and is burned alive in lava instead of saving himself.

Tommy Lee Jones looking too old for his charac ter even in 1997. Tommy Lee Jones who should be his teenage daughters grandfather. Even though he was 51 at the time he looked like he was 71. Tommy Lee Jones phoning in his performance.

Don Cheadle just talking on the phone with Mike, wearing a stupid looking hat. Why is he even in the movie??

Anne Heche, the only one giving a realistic likeable performance.

The eternal cliché in these movies: some stupid dog that survives even though it would never survive in a real life situation like this.

And almost nobody die in this movie. Lots of injured people, but less than100 people are killed. Completely unrealistic.

And the product placement in this garbage of a movie almost made me throw up.

Other people have already pointed out that there are no volcanoes under L. A. I could live with that, if the movie wasn't so incredibly bad.

Since zero stars are not allowed on the almight imdby, the onestar goes to the special effects which are d as in the much superior Dantes Peak, which came out the same year.

Unless you have a high tolerance for people acting like racists and a-holes in a time of crisis and dumb-ass reporters reporting everything as if we cant see it ourselves, I advice you spend your time better. This movie who is only an hour and 44 minutes long, will feel like 3 hours. And p*ss you off and give you a major headache.

And the ending will make you wanna throw up too. In other words, this movie will make you physically ill.

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020)

Relentless brutal and great

[10/10 · 26 March 2021]

This is a polish horrormovie and I wasnt expecting much from it, because of that. But I was pleasantly surprised. It delivered!!

It borrows from several american horrormovies such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wrong Turn, The Hills Have Eyes and House Of Wax. But its still really refreshing.

Despite it being polish, its impressive. The cinematography, the makeup and the special effects are all extremely well done. Its well acted and even has female eyecandy, that does more than just being easy on the eyes.

I wont spoil anything about the plot. You really have too see it for yourself. Despite a run time, of only 1 hour and 26 minutes, it doesn't feel too short.

I give this 10 stars, because its best horror/slasher movie I have seen since The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I highly recommend this to people that love these kind ofhorror- movies.

The Office (2005–2013)

Steve Carell is not funny.

[1/10 · 11 January 2021]

And neither is The Office. That this crap get 8.9 stars her on imdb, just show bad taste people have.

I've never seen the original britrish version, so I cannot compare it to that.

But just like Modern Family, The Office is not funny at all. It's akward, boring, depressing and except from the receptionist and one of the employees, the acting is pretty bad.

Steve Carell was not funny in The 40 year old virgin, he was not funny in Anchorman and he was not funny in Bruce Almighty. And he is not funny in The Office. His character is just an unlikable a-hole. When he pretends to fire the receptionist in front of a new employee, as a joke, its hard to believe that she doesn't just quit. Who would work for this guy?

Ive only seen the pilot and I didn't laugh once, I was just annoyed. But a mockumentary that isn't even funny in the pilot does not work in my opinion. If you hate Modern Family y, like I do, you will hate The Office even more. If you wanna see something that's actually funny watch Seinfeld and Friends.

Ju-on: Origins (2020)

Don't believe the false reviews!!

[1/10 · 3 October 2020]

I'd give this 0 stars if imdb allowed it.

First of all this is dubbed in american. And its awfully done. I could not get past this. Most of the time when they talk, their lips dont even move. Had it been with the original japanese voices, I might have been able to enjoy it. The american voices are terrible too.

The acting is awful (made worse by the awful dubbing) and its not the least bit scary. The plot makes no sense. Neither does the card board characters

It tries to portray it self as the real deal and mention what weve sen in the movies, was just that: movies. And the real thing is "much more terrifying."

Terrible is the only word I would use for this typically awful Netflix show.

And the fact that it calls the event in the movies, movies says it all about this crap. Like the script writers thought they could do better than the outstanding Grudge movies.

Except from the house, this has nothing to do with The Grudge.

Ignore the 10 star reviews. This is really, really bad.

Manhunt (2008)

A lame Norwegian attempt at horror inspired by The TexasChainsaw Massacre.

[1/10 · 9 August 2020]

*MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

The movie takes place in 1974. Same yearasTTCM. The couple and a brother and a sister even drives in a Wolkswagen just like in TTCM . Problem one: theyre all one dimensional and all pretty unlikeable. They take a girl with them from a diner. A frightened girl on the run from the badguys. Just like in the 2006 remake of TTCM. At one point one of the girls throw the keys away to the car to punish one of the guys. While they search for the keys, some men show up and kills two of the girls for no reason at all. Later for no reason at all the survivors find themselves tied up in the woods. They manage to break free, another guy is found tied to atree. They free him and split up for stupid reasons I cant remember. Theyre all eventually killed except the hot blonde girl who kills all the men that killed her friends for no reason at all. She is picked by a woman in a car who workedat the diner from early in the movie. When she hears from the girl that she killed all of her friends or family whatever they are she drives off with the girl locked inside the car. And the girl id doomed. The movie ends.

The three major problems are as follows: the badguys in the movie has no lines, there is no reason why they kill and butcher young people travelling through those woods. Theyre not obvious maniacs who takes pleasure in torturing their victims, unlike in TCM, where that part was what made it scary and made it work. The badguys alsdo never laughs or smiles and they are easily defeated and killed themselves, These men are suppossed to be skilled hunters of human prey. Yet theyre not that smart.

Second problem: the movie doesn't have the guts to be really sick. Al though there is lots of gore, most kills happen off camera. You also never see where they badguys live or if theyre related to eachother. There are no furnitures made of human bones and no Leatherface.

Third problem: the victims and especially the hunters remain pretty anonymous throughout the movie. So as a viewer I never cared what happened to any of them.

I recommend skipping this one and watch The oringal 1974 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre instead.

This movie Rovdyr which means Predator in english is so bad that its insulting to have to be compared to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is true horror masterpiece. But the obvious influence makes it unfortunately necessary.

Bombshell (I) (2019)

This movie is incredibly boring, incredibly staged and just pointless.

[1/10 · 8 July 2020]

It takes place in 2016 during the presidential campaign. Its very political and its clearly released now, to keep Trump from getting another 4 years in the white house. I hate Trump and he is the worst president ever. However this feminist movie wont make a damn bit of difference. Trump will most likely be re-elected, because the American public are morons and because of electoral college and the whole corrupt political system in America. But that's another story. Lets get back to the crap that is "Bombshell"

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

It takes place on Trumps favorite news station: Fox News. Back then Roger Ailes (an over the top disgusting John Lithgow in a fat-suit) ran Fox News. He offered attractive women on Fox promotions in exchange for sexual favors. In the end he was fired for sexual harassment, based on a lawsuit from a fired woman, who wouldn't have sex with him and won the lawsuit and 20 million dollars. You have these two annoying leads played by CharlizeTheron and Nicole Kidman (both have had their faces ruined by botox) who wants to take down Roger Ailes. And a very attractive Margot Robbie who is the only one that is actually showsn being harassed by Aisles. And a bunch of other very unattractive women including the ugly Kate McKinnon, known from SNL, playing Hilary Clinton as well as starring in the awful SJW remake of Ghostbusters from 2016.

John Lithgow and Margot Robbie are the only ones giving good performances. The rest are a bunch of angry and swearing women who hates Aisles for giving them good jobs and for giving him sexual favors, they themselves agreed to in exchange for those jobs. Nobody forced these women to have sex with Aisles.

Therons character who never actually had sex with aisles 10 years ago (she just did the twirl for him) decides to bring him down. After working for the man for 10 years in a highpaid prestigious job. The rest of the men in the movie are pretty much just pushovers, only there, to agree with these angry women.

Most ridiculous scene. Therons husband plays tennis and he loses to another guy. The guy walks up to Theron and says "Trump 2016". Her husband then threatens to kick his ass iif he ever talks to his wife again. As they leave Theron says to her husband he is getting some action for standing up for her. This is an actual scene. The guy just said he will vote for Trump. He wasnt even threatening Theron.

Another ridiculous scene, also with Theron. She reads something in a binder about Trumps opinion about women. She immediately gets sick and runs to the bathroom to throw up. Give me a freakin' break!!

Other annoying things: peoples names and titles appear next to them on the screen, Trumps tweets appear on the screen and sometimes these angry women looks directly into the camera in the middle of the scene. This makes the movie feel staged and its hard to tell how much f it is made up, even though its based on a true story.

I recommend avoiding this movie unless youre a whipped boyfriend that wants to get some action from your bossy angry girlfriend and then youre forced to suffer through this metoo znooze-fest. If youre a single man just don't watch this. Simply because your balls are still intact.

I cant even imagine most women would even enjoy this. Probably only man-hating feminists.

And like others have pointed out: if they wanted to do a metoo movie, why didn't they make one about Harvey Weinstein or Jeffrey Epstein? Much much worse predators!!

Me and my friend, who struggled to stay awake in the cinema, during bombshell, had not heard much about Roger Aisles and FoxNews. But again this movie is also very political. And maybe they don't have the guts to make a movie about Harvey Weinstein, because that would make Hollywood itself look bad. Which makes them a bunch of hypocrits.

Bad Boys for Life (2020)

Best Bad Boys movie so far.

[10/10 · 23 January 2020]

Warning: Michael Bay is in the movie himself in a brief but annoying cameo. But that can be forgiven. Because he didnt direct this movie and all the stuff you hate, even if you like the first two Bad Boys movies is gone this time around.

No shameless product placement, no objectifying women, no panning around the main characters, no offensive jokes about gay men and no over the top ridiculous action.

That's not to say that this isnt everything you would expect from a Bad Boys movie. It is but its just so much better.

This movie has a better story, good acting (not something you saw in the first two) Mike Lowry's (Will Smith) background explained. Mike Lowry and Marcus Burnett seem more human and act their age. 50 and 53 when the movie was made. Darker more serious tone, with lots of humor, mostly from Martin Lawrence. And some dark plot twists you will not have seen coming. It has a babe, Paola Nuñez that is a lot older than you'd think (41) but still gorgeous and she can kick ass just as well as Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, still can kick ass too.

And of course its' R-rated, as it should be, so it has graphic bloody violence. And lots of cool action and lots of f-bombs. Only downside. You have to wait an hour for the first big actionscene.

After the countless Transformers movies and the god-awful Netflix movie, 6 Underground, Michael Bay, has finally given up the reigns to Bad Boys after making us wait 17 years for a third Bad Boys movie. He might have invented the characters and the universe, but after the boring 1st Bad Boys and the psychotic sequel, its nice to see Bad Boys the way those movies should have been made from the get-go.

The ending builds up to a sequel that is more than welcome as long as Bay stays away from it.

I can definitely recommend this.

6 Underground (2019)

Possibly Michael Bay's worst movie ever.

[1/10 · 29 December 2019]

Still only topped by his Transfomers franchise.

A movie about a billionaire leading a team of agents, that are more superheroes than agents. They kill evil men such as dicators and the likes to make the world a better place.

The plot is as stupid as the over the top violence,f-bombs and braindead slo-mo action and the shameless world record in product placement in one movie. So much product placement, that the movie actually comes with a warning about it. Now I don't mind braindead action or extreme violence in movies. Both can be fun. If the story works and the main characters are likeable. Like in the John Wick movies. This movie has neither going for it.

So watching a guy drop dead to the ground with entrails coming out of his throat after having his head blown to bits with a flash grenade and then Ryan Reynolds character reacting to that, telling his team they should split up is disgusting and not funny. And I'm not offended by violence at all or oneliners attached to it. But that was too much, even for me. The same goes for the eyeball scene in the movies opening. Disgusting. Non-stop action for 20 or 30 minutes, with no clue about whats happening. Typical Bay.

Ryan Reynolds plays the same character/action hero, or himself, if you will, in every movie he is in. Out of the 150 million dollar budget, Reynolds received a paycheck of 27 million dollars. For that money he did a lot of action, said some supposedly funny oneliners and dropped about 200 f-bombs. Not worth the paycheck, if you ask me.

In my opinion moviestars and soccer players make way too much money.

And don't even get me started on the soundtrack. There was no actual movie score here. Just a lot of the annoying crappy songs, that the stupid kids born in the new millennium, consider good.

The worst acting in the movie comes from Payman Maadi, an actual American, whose phony accent made him sound foreign and was the only thing more annoying than his terrible acting.

Avoid this unless youre a dimpled teeenbage-boy or some moron in your twenties that prefers violence and action over plot, because youre too stupid to get an intelligent plot. If youre one of those, you will love this crap. Anyone else: watch the John Wick movies instead.

As for the moron who says this isnt Scorsese or Mann, but Bay and make it sound like a good thing. FYI buddy: Scorsese and Mann has made some ogf the best masterpieces ever as well as some bad movies. But to compare them to Bay is like comparing a big juicy steak with a beer on the side to a vegan meal with oatmilk on the side. Scorsese and Mann are genius filmmakers. Youre talking about men who made Cape Fear and Heat.