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Girlhouse (2014)
100 to 0
Decently entertaining until the killing started.
The writing from then on was absurdly stupid--to a point where you actually just want all the women to die. It's pretty amazing how none of them are capable of using their legs or lungs (especially considering the nature of their work).
For such a "high-security" operation, it's interesting how NONE of them have a gun and a run-of-the-mill CompSci student is able to hack into their "impenetrable" system in under an hour.
Overall, this movie had a nice buildup. That's about it. Go watch Cam (2018) instead.
We Summon the Darkness (2019)
Need the background to truly appreciate.
I'm a metalhead; I've also always been especially fascinated by the Satanic Panic that peaked in the 80s. For these reasons, I thoroughly enjoyed watching this film. That being said, I can appreciate why someone who isn't as enthralled by both or either of these things could find this film lackluster at certain points.
Personally?
I absolutely loved how this film flipped the idea of the Satanic Panic on its head: it's not the metalheads who should be feared, rather it's the hypocritical yet socially revered bible-thumpers. With the number of films I've watched based around the idea of satanic ritual sacrifice (sAtaNiSt = SaDIsT), this was refreshing. (The hysteria around satanism is hilarious given that the unbiased statistics of ritual abuse found in the Catholic and Christian church FAR outweigh any numbers regarding satanic cults--I digress. Clearly this movie caused me to geek out big time).
One of the most glaring critiques I've read of this film comes from metal elitists (who sadly craft a horrible image of metalheads for the general public): 'the chicks aren't even into metal. All they say is surface level.' These 'critics' clearly missed the entire point of the film. Two of the main female leads are SUPPOSED to be posers. The girl who remembered the exact date of her first concert? A detail like that is purposefully logistical, because her character is playing the ROLE of a metalhead. It is SUPPOSED to be obviously surface-level. The only female lead who is actually into metal is the one who saves the victims from being murdered by the posers (a detail I also thoroughly enjoyed).
All in all, I'd recommend reading up on some history of the Satanic Panic before watching this film; it's a fun watch, but it's a compelling watch once you can understand that it is a fiery cultural critique.
(I definitely geeked out at the Heavy Metal Parking Lot nod, too).
Open Water 3: Cage Dive (2017)
You're killing the vibe, Megan. Dude, just chill out. She's freaking out, Dude! Man!
I feel like the scriptwriter had a stroke and wrote this script while recovering from said stroke in the hospital.
'Yeah brah no sweat, I can totally make it over there' < trying to out-swim a speeding yacht no less than 10 miles away (and this is well before any delirium sets in (not that it ever does))
'Don't kill the vibe, Megan' < while they're stranded in the ocean surrounded by hungry sharks and floating bodies
'This is gonna be such a great story to pick up chicks with' < after watching someone get torn to shreds by a shark 5 feet in front of them
'Looks like there's a bad storm over there' < whilst shattering thunder and blinding lightning strikes directly above them
'Go get it man!' < middle of the night, open water, absolutely no light source, telling his brother to swim out and retrieve an object he ~hears floating~ somewhere by them; miraculously, the brother manages to find the object and his way back to the other two useless vibe-killers
'You're freaking out, Megan. Dude, just chill out. She's freaking out, Dude! Man!'
I could go on and on. I read better scripts in my high school film studies course from the slackers in the back of class. The complete and utter lack of awareness regarding how humans interact and react in high-pressure situations such as this is absurd. If this were a farce on the Chill Californian stereotype, it would've been way more enjoyable to watch.
Sadly, it's not.
Please don't waste your time.
Though I have to say, the part where they "rescue that girl" and promptly proceed to cook her alive in the lifeboat with a misfired flare did make me chuckle.
Hell House LLC (2015)
Fulfilling.
The only thing I can focus on is how full-body terrified I was watching this film for the third time, alone in a pitch-black room. I can't remember the last time a movie had me covering my eyes.
Well done.
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
Wow.
I have not been so excited watching a movie in as long as I can remember.
Psychological, thrilling, and horrifying, this film brings you face-to-face with your preconceptions and constantly challenges what you think you know.
Absolutely brilliant.
An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)
worth a watch
The lead was a pretty dry actor. However, the story and concepts made up for what the acting didn't give.
Splice (2009)
Interesting concepts
As someone with roots in the sciences, I have to appreciate the profound questions explored in this film (nature vs. nurture, research and morals, informed consent, etc). If not for these to ponder, I wouldn't have been able to look past the sub-par acting.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Iconic.
Had to give it a 7 for the ending and wardrobe alone.
The Green Inferno (2013)
Would've been better as a 20 minute exploitation short.
Costume design and cinematography were both spot on; everything else - character development, acting, storyline, dialogue, etc. - was atrocious. Just skip through and watch the scenes with the tribe, don't waste your time on the other parts.