jabarker81 Reviews

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

One of my top 5 movies of all time

[10/10 · 25 February 2023]

I went into this movie not knowing what was going on. No idea what the story was, not knowing the premise, and just watching everything unfold throughout was the best way to watch it. It was hilarious, emotional, thought provoking, and it was entirely fueled by Michelle Yeoh's undying commitment to the role. Also, Ke Huy Quan returning to the big screen in years was refreshing. Jamie Lee Curtis being able to adapt to a role, and keep is wondering what's happening with her is amazing. The movie as a whole was a refreshing, original idea, and it dives into the mindset of each character, and what they're going through. It's a phenomenal film.

Spiders (2013)

It may be stupid, but it's fun.

[10/10 · 13 April 2020]

There are movies like Battlefield Earth where they are just goofy. There are some like Demolition Man where there's mindless action with some smart writing. And then, there are shark movies. Honestly, this movie is like a combination of them all. It's really fun to watch. It may have poor effects that make Battlefield Earth look good, but in the end, they mostly look convincing enough to give you the creeps. There are some fun twists and turns, and while there are some horror cliches in it, you immediately overlook it, and want to watch the spiders kill everyone like how you want to see the sharks kill everyone. I may be mixed on shark movies, but I love how giant spiders could be made to look creepy. I may be a harsh critic on a lot of movies, but this is one of those movies I have a soft spot for, and I would watch it again.

Pixels (2015)

It's fun, yet stupid, but not the worst Sandler movie out there

[5/10 · 13 March 2020]

Pixels serves as a tiny step forward from Sandler's previous mess, Jack and Jill. However, despite that, it still has every Sandler trope used in a movie, a loser overlooked by society, and there's a girl involved. The majority of the jokes are DOA, nothing's really funny, and the acting is just strange, with the exception of Michelle Monaghan. But, to be fair, this movie is fun if you take into account of the main story. Forget the romance. Aliens in the form of classic video game characters invading and attacking Earth is an awesome concept, but adding Adam Sandler, Kevin James, and Josh Gad's over-the-top "paranoid conspiracy theorist" into this movie, it just kills it, and we're watching a movie with a sense of boredom. I wonder if Chris Columbus regrets making this movie. However, the best parts are the video game battles. That's it. Nothing else is really redeemable. But, this is not the worst Adam Sandler movie. There are some fun moments, but the majority of it is just boring.

No Country for Old Men (2007)

The best part about this movie is the utilization of silence

[10/10 · 12 April 2019]

Almost all the movies you see have a musical score. Action movies have them to keep the viewers engaged, horror movies have them to get the viewer's hearts racing, dramas have them emotionally engaged, and so forth. This movie doesn't use a musical score. It doesn't need one. Joel and Ethan Coen did a fantastic job directing this movie, and Javier Bardem is absolutely terrifying just to look at with his limited amount of lines, and his quiet persona. This is one of my favorite movies, and it's easily in my top 10.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

A departure of sorts for DreamWorks

[10/10 · 7 April 2019]

Prior to How to Train Your Dragon, DreamWorks was known for making movies that had relatively cheap laughs, with a few exceptions. With How to Train Your Dragon, I consider this a departure from that characteristic. How to Train Your Dragon took a more mature approach toward the story they're working with. As a kid, I wasn't a huge fan of this movie when it came out, but when I watched it recently, it became one of my top 3 favorite animated movies, and that's saying something for me. DreamWorks also made one of the gutsiest moves they could've made. I say this because they made it look like an animated Avatar, with the extravagant landscapes, and fantastic 3D animation. I also have to add these little details. First off, the directors Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders made Lilo and Stitch, and were also involved with the writing process of Mulan. Talk about a big step forward for these two. Secondly, for those of you who know cinematographers, the two hired the one and only Roger Deakins as a visual consultant for this film. With his repertoire of films, Deakins managed to get the vision that DeBlois and Sanders wanted to come alive on the big screen. What else can this movie offer? A whole lot more, but I won't say anything more without sounding like an idiot.

Foxcatcher (2014)

Steve Carell, Channing Tatum, and Mark Ruffalo at the peak of their careers

[10/10 · 18 March 2019]

When you see Steve Carell in a movie, you expect him to be the funniest thing in a movie. When you see Channing Tatum, you expect him to be buff, and be the hot hero of the movie. When you see Mark Ruffalo, you expect to see comedy-drama movies, and he's just a side character. With Foxcatcher, you see none of those. Instead, you see a very ominous picture. The musical score is scarcely used, which makes it even better. The best part of the picture, no doubt, is Steve Carell as John E. DuPont. Holy Hell! He was frightening just to look at. And him talking without yelling is actually what sells it. Channing Tatum was absolutely phenomenal as Mark Schultz. Not only did he nail the role perfectly, he took it to the next level, and actually managed to even stay in character even when he injured himself with the mirror. Mark Ruffalo was rather quiet as Dave Schultz, but even then, it's necessary for the character development. Bennett Miller's Foxcatcher is an underrated gem that people overlooked. With a sports movie, you get to know the players of the team, you have them lose first, but along the way they win the games, and eventually come closer as a team and family. With Foxcatcher, none of that happens. Instead, you get a chronological series of events, and Steve Carell being rather reclusive toward his team, and his mother, played by Vanessa Redgrave. It doesn't have you watching, and enjoying it. It has you watching a reality with actors, who are usually cast in stereotypical roles, breaking that streak, and having the people they're playing come out instead of them. This movie easily made it to my top 20 list.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

It's just strange, and uncomfortable to watch

[5/10 · 17 March 2019]

The first part of the movie is decent, but unfortunately, it forgets about the characters in the beginning, and it just continues on, and acts like nothing ever happened. After that, it then gets into weird territory. The primary reason for the film's weirdness are the rituals, the treatment of the children, and just the overall premise and environment of the film. Even though I sometimes like strange films, this one is both strange and uncomfortable to watch. And yes, Kate Capshaw's performance is annoying as hell, and I did find myself saying, "Oh, shut up!" But I overlooked that. This is, in my opinion, probably worse than the fourth one. With Crystal Skull, I was comfortable. This one, I wasn't.

Lady in the Water (2006)

Even though this was the start of Shyamalan's downfall, I kind of liked it

[6/10 · 3 March 2019]

Normally, I'm pretty critical when it comes to certain movies. But, when you have Shyamalan, the creator of The Sixth Sense, recreating a bedtime story he told his kids, and you get Lady in the Water. It may be a mixed bag for some of it, but for the rest of it, it kind of manages to redeem itself at some points. Don't get me wrong. The writing is pretty tacky, some of the camera angles are weird, especially when the camera is in front of the actors, and they look into it, and some of the choices Shyamalan made while writing this were probably him maybe trying too hard to throw in some twists and turns, mostly due to those "maneuvers" just crashing and burning. But, there is two aspects I liked the most about this movie I liked, and they're the night settings, and the haunting design of the Scrunt, even though I would've given it a better name. So, again I've run into a mixed bag, but I don't know which side to take. Was it good, or was it bad? It was a bit of both. It's hard to criticise this movie for odd reasons.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

My favorite Marvel movie so far

[10/10 · 28 February 2019]

Marvel movies weren't at the top of my list, but I liked them because they had the perfect balance of action and comedy. But, when this movie came out, I was thinking, "Okay, here we go again." Because I had gotten kind of bored with them. However, that boredom quickly turned into excitement and laughter. The balance was still there, but it had me laughing as hard as I did with Deadpool. Thor: Ragnarok was not what I expected from a Marvel movie. But oh my God. It was fantastic. I loved it.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Mystery Science Theater 3000

[1/10 · 26 February 2019]

Now, when I watched this movie on MST3K, I was just binging the episodes Netflix had at the time, and this movie stuck out at me because I recall Nostalgia Critic mentioning this in one of his reviews. And needless to say, not only is this movie bad, but it's so insultingly painful to watch that my brain cells were killed off each minute. It was so bad that I needed to watch a good movie to restore myself afterward.

The Meg (2018)

As a shark movie, it succeeds

[7/10 · 26 February 2019]

Generally, shark movies aren't exactly that well made. They have cheap effects, tacky dialogue, and tons of T&A. However, The Meg may be a shark movie, but it actually had me into it, especially with the somewhat funny dialogue. Another thing I liked about this movie is that during the beach scene, they paid homage to Jaws, but the way some of the civilians were killed were pretty creative. Another thing about this movie I liked is the shark isn't killed in a typical fashion, where it dies in an explosion. Instead, Jonas, Jason Statham's character, uses his glider, and makes a large laceration, and uses a dart, stabs its eye, and drives it further in. Of course it does have its dumb moments, like many movies do. Even it does have dialogue that is pretty cliched, but I like it. It's a guilty pleasure of mine.

Shark Night (2011)

I think the R rating should've been used here

[2/10 · 7 February 2019]

My biggest complaint about this movie is the weird editing. There are moments where the scene will literally cut to itself. But it's everything you'd expect from a shark movie. I've also heard that the biggest problem with this movie is its lack of an R rating. I think it should've gotten the R rating because it could've shown some T&A, more blood, and more profanity. David R. Ellis made the Final Destination series, and those were rated R. What happened here?

Super Shark (2011)

I can't even make it to 1/16 without burying my face into my hands into

[7 February 2019]

What the hell were these filmmakers thinking? First off, I get confused at the beginning of the movie. I feel like I missed something because it shows a final showdown at the beginning. The effects are so bad that I think they make the effects in Garbage Pail Kids look like the best effects. And that's saying something, especially when I say it's the worst movie ever made. The acting is atrocious, the effects are crap, and although it is meant to be so bad it's good, to me it's just bad. Bad bad bad bad bad. But, is it worst movie I've ever seen?

No. Because it actually has a plot that, although incredibly stupid, it's stupid in a fun way. But I wouldn't watch it again to spare my brain cells.

Swamp Shark (2011 TV Movie)

It's hard to criticize it for some reason

[6/10 · 5 February 2019]

Swamp Shark is one of those rare gems that I find it hard to criticize. The idea itself is pretty good. It actually looks pretty decent for a direct-to-DVD movie. Sure it's predictable, but the buildup to the death scenes is pretty well executed. The acting is pretty decent, but there are some stereotypes in the movie that we've seen before many times. Sure it had its dumb moments. Like one moment, it showed Martin doing research about a team of marine biologists looking for a new species of shark, and a shark living up to 100 years, and it having some strong armor or something like that. Of course it's dumb. But I overlooked that. It was the suspense that got me hooked. It was dumb, but it was enjoyable. How can I criticize it? It's like my verdict of The Mummy. I can't.

The Fox and the Hound (1981)

A Great Adaptation to a Dark Story

[10/10 · 25 December 2018]

Honestly, if you've seen this movie without reading the original book, you're gonna think it's another cute addition to Disney's repertoire. But, once you've read the book, and then see this movie again, you obviously see the changes they've made. Aside from the star studded cast, the animation and the story are some of the best I've seen. Even though everyone lives, as opposed to the book, I think the changes were necessary in terms of Disney's methods, but even then, they still kept the majority of the more intense scenes, which I greatly appreciate. The movie is dark, just like the book, with one of the saddest scenes I've ever scene, the tone is intense, and the story is intriguingly dark. Many Disney fans overlook this movie for the more popular ones, and it shouldn't.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Edgar Wright never ceases to impress

[10/10 · 1 November 2018]

Scott Pilgrim vs The World has got to be one of the most underrated movies of all time. How can you go wrong with Edgar Wright? I think this movie has so much more to offer than people perceived it to be. The movie's visuals are the main highlight because Wright uses them to his advantage, and making a very unconventional movie. Not every movie has to be conventional. What makes the movie better are the actors who play the exes, particularly Chris Evans, Brandon Routh, and Mae Whitman. Combining music with action and slapstick comedy, Scott Pilgrim vs The World is a finely crafted movie that makes me wish I would've directed.

Presto (2008)

It's hilarious when you've done slapstick right

[10/10 · 19 September 2018]

I never thought that Presto would make laugh as hard as I did. In this short, magic has a secret connection between a top hat and the Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's the classic bunny out of hat trick, but this bunny's got an attitude. From slapping his keeper's hand on a desk to shocking him on the circuit board, he goes through all that trouble just to get his carrot. His keeper was more concerned about his image than his pet, which wouldn't have been the same if he had given the carrot before the show. The rabbit wants the carrot, and he's giving his keeper the stick. How funny is that?

M*A*S*H (1970)

A movie with no plot?

[10/10 · 14 September 2018]

I went into this movie, with moderate to high hopes. And boy, did it pay off. I wasn't fond of the performances of Sutherland, Skerrit, and Gould at first because I was used to Alda, Rogers, and Stevenson. But along the way, I got used to them. But, the best part of the movie is it succeeding without an actual plot. As strange as it sounds, MASH chronicles insignificant events surrounding the company men and women. Honestly, I enjoyed every minute of the movie, including the gut wrenching O.R. scenes. It's made my top 10 for sure.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

It's very interesting

[8/10 · 7 September 2018]

I have to say I was really looking forward to this movie. Honestly, if you're a big fan of Emmanuel Lubezki, you'll appreciate this movie. But, I'm going to be honest. The two big stars are Michael Keaton and Edward Norton. I kind of found myself more engaged with Norton. Even though Keaton did a fantastic job, I found myself focusing on Norton because it's satirizing his own behavior. Alejandro does a great job with the movie. However, and I really like you, but I found myself lost at times. It's strange how they added in Riggan having telekinesis. Where did that come from? I also wish they would've added more detail as to why Riggan and Sam have an estranged relationship. The writing could be more thought through if the writers put more detail into some sections. Maybe I should watch it again since the first time around is for the entertainment value.

Mulan II (2004 Video)

What the hell did I just watch?

[1/10 · 1 March 2018]

Mulan was fine where it left off. But, what did Disney do? "Let's make a sequel!" I saw this the first time when I wasn't so brutal on film, and I thought it was, "Eh." But, I watched it again. Oh, it got under my skin! I got completely sucked into a black hole-like state of mind, losing all form of reality I had in the first place. I kind of started yelling at the screen whenever a stupid-ass decision was made by one of the characters. I do hate it, but not as much as The Fox and the Hound 2.

Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure (2001 Video)

Same Spirit as the Original

[9/10 · 1 March 2018]

Although this movie came out at the time of Disney's crappy Direct-to-DVD period, Lady and the Tramp II is actually one of those sequels that had the same spirit as the original. Don't get me wrong. I do like Disney's animal movies, but the original Lady and the Tramp I didn't really get into. However, its sequel, which I have to say was kind of deserved, I felt more into it. I don't know what it is about this movie, but I liked it.

The Usual Suspects (1995)

An Unusual Masterpiece

[10/10 · 1 March 2018]

The Usual Suspects is one of those few films that completely captivates the viewer into guessing who's who. Also, it showcases Benicio Del Toro in one of his earlier roles, and a truly devious Kevin Spacey. Also, an early directorial effort from Bryan Singer showcases his talent as a director. The writing is so trippy, and yet it's absolutely spectacular. I loved it.

Strange Days (1995)

The Title Speaks for Itself

[10/10 · 30 January 2018]

Strange Days has a very strange premise to it. Driven by James Cameron's powerful script, and Kathryn Bigelow's gut-wrenching direction, Strange Days is a movie that is very powerful and thought provoking. It also gives the viewer the point of view cameras they would wear to record certain events. They would include sex sessions, women taking showers, memories of loved ones, and so on. But, one clip, recorded by a prostitute, falls into the hands of a former cop turned disk dealer, played by Ralph Fiennes. And, then more twists and turns come our way when the prostitute is taken care of, and then we find out who killed her. And then from there, the clip actually becomes the most important item throughout the entire film. Strange Days is one of those movies that makes you ask questions about what's going on. Is Lenny going to survive? Is Mace going to help Lenny all throughout the film? What's on the clip? Why is the clip important? These questions make you ask so many good questions that you have to watch the movie more than once to get the answers. Is it worth watching the movie more than once. Hell, yeah.

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

One of my biggest influences in the Fantasy genre

[10/10 · 30 January 2018]

Guillermo Del Toro worked his ass off, creating this film, and the outcome is absolutely breathtaking. This is one of my favorite films of all time. It's suspenseful. It's tear-jerking. It's thrilling. It's has you engaged from beginning to end. The best part of this movie is that it's a Spanish spoken film. A lot of foreign language movies in America are completely overlooked because of the other movies that are being advertised, but Pan's Labyrinth doesn't do that. It stays in your mind forever. What do you get when you cross Guillermo Del Toro's dark imagination, a frightening performance from Sergi Lopez, and a fragile performance from Ivana Baquero? Two words: Pan's Labyrinth.

The Hurt Locker (2008)

My Favorite Movie. Period.

[10/10 · 30 January 2018]

To be frank, I have never even heard of this movie until last year, or the year before. I had no idea who Kathryn Bigelow was. I had no idea what this movie was about. I had no idea who anyone involved was. However, I was kind of hooked on doing some Oscar research for the past ceremonies, and the 82nd ceremony, the year this movie competed for, popped out at me, and I was intrigued after seeing a clip of it. And when I finally got a copy, I watched it, and I loved it. I have seen so many movies in my life, and have called so many of them my favorites, but, The Hurt Locker tops off my list. I have tried to find other titles that could top it off, but I still think The Hurt Locker is still on top. I loved Kathryn Bigelow's direction, Mark Boal's script, the intensity within the movie, the realistic approaches of a Bomb Squad, and Barry Ackroyd's heart-pounding cinematography. I loved this movie from beginning to end. I loved every single scene. I love it all. Are there any negative aspects?

No.