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Kærlighed for voksne (2022)
One of the worst films I've seen in recent years
Oh my, oh my, oh my...
I'm baffled by the amount of positive reviews and high ratings that I see here. I mean... Did we watch the same film?!
This was a perfect example of how not to make cinema. From the terrible direction, to the huge amount of clichés, incongruencies from beginning to end, terrible and unplausible plot, pointless ending... I could go on and on.
Honestly, there were so many cringe-worthy moments, that I had to stop the film a few times, just so that my facial muscles would return to normal.
Do yourself a favour and don't waste your time on this. Yes, it's really THAT bad.
Another Body (2023)
Disturbing, yet relevant
Wow, I expected stuff like this to happen in the near future. Turns out the near future has been here for a while! Gosh, what a dystopian society we're living in. The misogyny and sense of entitlement of these men is off the charts! It's truly scary! Fortunately documentaries like this are being done and hopefully they'll open people's eyes to the implications of so much technology all around us and prompt us to do something about it before it's too late. Is it too late already? Overall, good documentary, particularly in how they made use of the very technology they're talking about to present this issue.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
More of the same
And not just more of the same that Tom Cruise has given us over all the MIs he's done: more of the same that we've seen in countless other action movies! God, I'm so tired of the same stereotypical action sequences being recycled over and over again. It's insulting! Please, a bit of creativity! How come there isn't anyone in that team that pulls Tom Cruise/the writers aside and tells them the obvious: that all of that has been done a trillion times before?!
Also, we're in the 21st century! Surely MI gadgets would have evolved much more than what we're presented with?
And finally, whoever wrote the dialogues needs to be fired immediately. Please stop making the characters look dumb all the time, don't make them verbalise what the viewer already knows, use dialogue to advance the narrative and make a compelling story. It's really not rocket science.
It wouldn't even deserve three stars if it wasn't for the film's premise, which was interesting and had some potential (unfortunately laid to waste).
And Just Like That...: The Last Supper Part Two: Entree (2023)
Horrible and ridiculous
God, where do I even start? This was, by far, the worst episode of this season (and that's saying a lot). The writing is terrible: everything about it is utterly cringe and nonsensical, while simultaneously full of cliches. That dinner was so boring that I found myself doing a million other things as I was watching. Most characters looked absolutely pathetic, even Samantha came across as a deflated version of her former self that simply being older wouldn't justify. So disappointing...
If it weren't for the cute cat and Carrie's wonderful checked dress, this episode wouldn't be deserving of a single star. Stop boring us to death! If this is what you have to give us, just stop. PLEASE, STOOOOOOOP!!!
And Just Like That...: Alive! (2023)
IMDb needs to start allowing negative ratings for this review to be accurate
God, what a booooooooring episode! I found myself doing a million other things half way through, just so that I could cope with this episode's induced boredom. Stop showing us stuff we don't want to see! This is so bland, so unremarkable, so uninspiring! And stop with the cringefest, for god's sake! And please stop with the over-the-top unrealistic accessorizing - that's not what SATC fashion was all about. It was about creativity, not tacky ostentation for its own sake. Just stop, stop, stop! This is embarrassing!!!
And on a side note, all those faces distorted by plastic surgery and other cosmetic interventions are such an awful sight to see. Ugh, how come nobody tells it to these women?! It's disgusting, not to mention that they are at odds with the anti-ageism message the episode tries to deliver.
Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)
You people are all delusional
Yes, you who gave such high ratings to this ridiculous nonsense.
God, where do I even start? On how formulaic and predictable it is? On the technical inaccuracies? On the low-IQ dialogues? The usual propaganda narrative? Or perhaps the unrealistic scenes of action, that defy basic laws of physics and biology? And how about the fact that the original concept of MI that we all used to love in the series has been completely adulterated?
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when a Scientology loony has plenty of resources but lacks the ingenuity to make something truly creative, innovative and awe-inducing. And in a way, it's very evocative of what is wrong with certain entrepreneurs in our world today: they've got the money and the power, but because they are spiritually bankrupt, their creations are either unnecessary or downright harmful to the rest of us.
And by the way, Tom Cruise, if you're reading this: please get treatment for that NPD of yours. I'm serious. It's so bloody obvious in all of your MI movies that it's honestly embarrassing to watch.
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022)
God, what a cringefest!
Utterly predictable and boring storyline. The dialogues are often contrived and not very convincing in the way they are delivered. The attempts at humour are... Well, laughable, but not in the way it was intended.
Equally bad is the underlying message: that after living a life of sexual repression and overall dissatisfaction, all you have to do is hire someone who conveniently oozes altruism and doesn't mind to sell his sexual favours, and you'll be okay. On top of that, the fact that this is a white British woman using a mixed-race young man's services (aka, exploiting him as a sex object) sadly hits too close to home, considering Britain's not too distant colonial past.
But hey, maybe this film's merit lies in giving old folks permission to start enjoying themselves a bit more! I guess that's something.
My Cousin Rachel (2017)
Do yourself a favour and read the book instead
What a disappointment! Bad casting and direction, unconvincing acting, particularly on the part of Sam Claflin. Rachel Weisz is only okay, but lacks the charisma and depth necessary for this role. Thank god for the supporting actors, who bring some credibility to the whole affair.
The events feel rushed, in an attempt to counteract the fact that this is - let's say it - a pretty dull film.
On the bright side, we get to see some beautiful English (presumably) landscapes. There is that.
It's a shame. Had I watched the film in the first place, I certainly would not have felt driven to read the book. Fortunately I did things in the inverse order.
Tenet (2020)
Laughable
Oh god, where do I even start? Terrible direction, cliche after cliche, embarrassing dialogues, mostly implausible actions and events - do these people not hire consultants to advise them on certain technical aspects while writing the script/filming?!
Not sure why some reviewers are rating it so highly, must be the fast car chase aficionados... In fact, everything is way too fast here, so fast that I often found myself getting lost and not quite comprehending what was being said or how different bits of the story interlocked with each other.
It's a shame, because the premise of this film had some potential. But alas, they managed to make a joke of it all. It's pretty bad, I couldn't watch it until the end.
The Tourist (2010)
As bad as I expected
A cliche from beginning to end, sprinkled with sexist humour, condescending towards non-anglophone cultures and with a predictable story line and flat, stereotypical characters. The dialogues seem to have been written by a 6-year-old. The wardrobe choices are really not what they're trying to be. Total cringe fest.
No Time to Die (2021)
They could've made it shorter and less predictable
And can we please start making films a bit more realistic? I mean, come on, the guy is shot at by a thousand guys and not a single bullet hits him? Really? And how can he survive such close explosions completely unscathed? How about falling from stairs and enormous heights, that doesn't injure him either?!
Apart from that, where are all the cool gadgets? We're in the 21st century and that's all you give us?
The earlier versions of James Bond were a lot more balanced. The character was way more charming, it wasn't all about him throwing punches and there were hardly any lame jokes. Ever since Daniel Craig got in the picture it's all about him fighting and doing a bunch of impossible gimmicks. That's it.
House of Gucci (2021)
I wasn't expecting a masterpiece...
...but this was REALLY bad, particularly for Ridley Scott! God, what a cringefest! Poor acting, terrible dialogues, boring throughout. For the calibre of the actors involved, I was expecting something a lot better.
Tolo Tolo (2020)
Hilarious!
Such a refreshing movie! It has a good rhythm throughout, great humour/dialogues, fantastic editing, the acting is excellent... A captivating film all the way.
World War Z (2013)
It sure kept me on the edge of my seat...
...but boy, for a 2013 film, it really makes you think that, already then, they were planning and priming us to follow a certain narrative for a certain pandemic that would develop a few years later (wink, wink). It's so obvious, that it's laughable! And it's not the only film that has that aim, obviously. There are others and they all follow the same formula. In fact, for the past few years, all you have to do is look at the narratives of the Hollywood films being made to know what's gonna happen IRL a few years down the line.
On a technical level, the medical/scientific make-believe is just ridiculous. They really need to make their films a bit more credible.
Seaspiracy (2021)
Exposes some unpalatable truths we should all be aware of, but...
...comes across as biased and fails to tackle the fundamental issue of world's overpopulation. It also omits the fact that no vegan can get by for long without taking supplements. Which means that we do need some animal foods every now and then.
The editing aimed at making the whole thing even more dramatic doesn't help or lend the documentary (and its makers) much credibility.
The Game Changers (2018)
Aaaand the propaganda continues
Just like "What The Health", this was heavily biased, sharing some of the same interviewees. Even the structure of the documentary is identical. God, they really do stick to the formula, don't they? Plus, the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger is in it just says it all.
I'm the first to say the living (and dying) conditions of farmed animals are disgusting, and that certainly needs to come to an end. But to say we absolutely don't need to eat animal products... That is yet to be proven.
What the Health (2017)
A few years ago I would've rated it a lot higher...
...but now I know better. And I know that, if you have to supplement with vitamin B12, clearly you're not eating what you should.
While there is a lot of truth in this documentary, namely regarding dairy and the appalling conditions in which farm animals are raised, it seems nonetheless biased and tending towards propaganda.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
If you thought the previous two were bad wait until you watch this one
How is it possible that, from all the people involved in the making of this movie, nobody raised concerns about the terrible acting and storyline, repeated use of cliches and old jokes, lack of innovation... It's just pathetic at this point. I couldn't go past the first 30 minutes.
Terminator Genisys (2015)
I knew it was gonna be bad...
...but not THIS bad!
Cringe-worthy, poor acting, full of cliches, predictable and formulaic.
7500 (2019)
OMG, I was biting my nails the whole time!
Superbly done! Very realistic and intense. Great acting from all actors involved.