jbg667 Reviews

Wonder Woman (2017)

Garbage

[3/10 · 2 September 2017]

I don't mind comic movies. I enjoyed Dr. Strange. But Wonder Women is just a steaming pile of garbage. Acting is forced and bad (other than Chris Pine who stands out). Story is hollow and slugs along as a disjointed set of sequences.

Gal looks great but acts horribly. I see the decision to cast her only as an attempt to lure the F&F crowd... wrong person for the role.

Other than hot actors and some decent special effects, I don't see how people are able to give this movie anything above 6.

Mr. Nobody (2009)

An exercise in pointlessness

[5/10 · 16 October 2011]

Take several helpings of philosophical and physics theories and blend these together with some artsy cinematography and sci-fi backdrops to make it appear philosophical and "highly intellectual" as some reviews have described it. But if any of these were the goal of the makers of this movie, they failed miserably.

The director and the writer use confusion, chaos and distraction to make this movie appear highly cerebral. However it is a set of dissonant scenes forcefully held together without an underlying unifying idea pretending to be philosophical but offering no ideas, answers or even questions. It is as if someone had the philosophy alphabet cereal for breakfast in the morning and then vomited on a movie script at Noon. The ideas are all over the place, half digested and full of bile. Some people may confuse this for intellectualism but it is nothing more than half-baked flashes of thought. It is the cacophony of ideas that makes the movie appear philosophical, but only in a way similar to how a carnival magician shows a coin and then makes it disappear, leaving you thinking about how he pulled it off and not about the coin itself.

The unnecessarily stretched plot runs into over two hours without really needing to. One could easily cut out many of the scenes without losing much of the meaning of this movie, because there is not much meaning to lose. In fact, one could completely skip the movie and not miss much.

Knowing (2009)

Cage the director...

[1/10 · 1 August 2009]

No, I really mean it. Cage the director, the writer, the producer and anyone else involved with this movie. They should not make another movie again. I can't believe it is still ranked at 6.6 despite being a poorly written piece of crap. The plot is nonsensical and has holes the size of the US debt. I suppose if you look at it at a VERY basic and shallow level you may find it all possible, however the acting and how the story is told is just plain dumb. Definitely a movie I won't be recommending to anyone (with a full gray cell count). And Cage is getting worse and worse. I have lost almost all respect for this man. At this point, him being in a movie is negative advertisement. skip. Skip. SKIP!

Vantage Point (2008)

Terrible, unrealistic movie but not in a good way

[3/10 · 2 April 2008]

The whole movie was a bit of a stretch, but when I saw the ambulance scene at the end, that just topped it off. I fail to see how bloodthirsty murderers who just 10 minutes earlier wasted hundreds of civilians including children, all of the sudden feel guilty about the little girl... and that's what the whole plot hinges on.

Bad direction, bad story. Cheesy... cheesy... cheesy. If points were given for blatant self-propaganda and chest-thumping patriotism this movie would get high scores, but cinematically this movie is a piece of trash.

To be avoided.

The Ten (2007)

Terrible

[1/10 · 25 November 2007]

This Movie Is Absolutely Utterly End-to-end a piece of Garbage (capital G). Do not waste your time.

The last movie I saw which was this bad was Napoleon Dynamite.

I can't believe that they would let isht like this ever make it to the big screen. This should have been a direct-to-video, or better yet - direct to some obscure archive of movies which were not worth putting on a 5 cent DVD disk. This movie is BAD. BAD. BAD. Sticking a fork in my thigh would probably feel less painful than having to sit through The Ten again. The movie should have been called "The 93" as in the ninety three minutes of garbage. Save yourself the pain and watch the news or something...

Tears of the Sun (2003)

Patronizing, Predictable, Shallow

[1/10 · 5 February 2005]

Terrible movie based on a predictable plot. It glorifies (non-existent) American charity towards African people who are depicted as near-beasts.

You can predict the flow of events from the first five minutes of the movie. Absolutely no value other than the images of the enchanting African jungle. Other than that, it is a non-inspirational movie... but then again, what could we expect from Bruce.

Bottom line: Nice scenery, but did we really need another stupid Rambo movie?

Oh and by the way, the rule requiring 10 lines of text is pretty stupid as well. Some movies really don't deserve 10 lines of text.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

I want last 50 minutes of my life back!!!

[1/10 · 30 October 2004]

I was driven to register and get an IMDb account by this piece of isht movie.

In fact, I am wondering if authors of the other, positive reviews, are drinking the same water I am, or if they have more potent chemicals running through their plumbing.

Unless you are an absolute loser that may find some consolation and cuteness in the main character of the movie, I highly doubt that you will find it either a) funny or b)worth your time. I know the 50 minutes of mine were not worth it. If I could do it again, I think I'd rather go for an acid bath.