vkumar Reviews

Threat (2006)

The real "Threat" is that they might make another movie...

[3/10 · 3 March 2006]

'Threat' contains some of the lamest dialogue I've heard in a while. The acting is generally poor too. I got the distinct impression that the filmmakers thought they were doing something special. What a joke.

The only reason I saw 'Threat' was because I found out Slug (of the hip hop duo Atmosphere) is in it. But I didn't even notice Slug while I was watching it. Had to look closely at the credits and see that he was credited as 'Crusty punk'(!). Then I figured out who he was in the movie, but it doesn't look or sound at all like him. Moreover he was only on screen for all of 10 seconds.

The only positive thing I can say about 'Threat' is that the animation that is interlaced into the movie is not bad, and the editing is sometimes interesting. Despite the "real threat" alluded to above, I'm not entirely pessimistic about the next offering from the production group ('King's Mob').

Diamond Men (2000)

Over-rated and pointless

[2/10 · 6 May 2005]

I am shocked by all the good reviews on the cover of this movie and on IMDb. It belongs in the $2 bin at your local video store. To say that this is a B movie is extremely generous.

Besides lacking a single redeemable character, only slightly better than average acting, and an ugly 80's style picture quality, the script for this film is dull and lifeless. This film is not only boring--it is pathetic. (Admittedly, there is occasionally some mildly interesting chemistry between the two main characters.) Even the final plot twist--rather, the only plot twist--does not save this film.

Rent "Diamond Men" if you must, but do not hesitate to turn it off once you become appraised of its worthlessness. 2 out of 10.

The Criminal (1999)

Beware

[4/10 · 6 May 2005]

Beware all the positive reviews. Reading that this film bears any resemblance to a Guy Ritchie film made me cringe.

"Contrived" never described a film as perfectly as it does this one.

From laughable bad-cop antics, to pointless paranoid schizophrenics and finally to an brief and amateurish handling of serious political issues, "The Criminal" promises to fail to engage the mind of the sophisticated movie-watcher.

That said, "The Criminal" isn't terrible. For the most part, the acting is better than average, and there certainly isn't a lack of action. However the writing and directing are marginal at best. 4 out of 10.

The Love Crimes of Gillian Guess (2004 TV Movie)

worst movie ever

[1/10 · 24 September 2004]

I just got home from seeing this film, and I have never posted a review here, but I felt it was my solemn duty to warn others: This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life, bar none. (And I've seen Hindi films.)

I went to see this at a film festival, and I wasn't expecting much because I knew it was by a Canadian filmmaker. But I could never have imagined how bad it would turn out to be.

Every scene in this movie was poorly written and completely meaningless. The characters were either underdeveloped or, as in Gillian Guess's case, contrived to the point of nauseousness. The person I went to see this film with claimed to be physically sick as he left the theatre--and he actually likes art films. Even if you like art films don't expect to like this one. It was pure tripe, period.

"Julian, Donkey Boy" was twice as good as this film.