ThomasStone Reviews

The End of the Tour (2015)

Iconic writer turned into corny bromance road trip

[4/10 · 31 July 2019]

Not having done my research of what the original story was (or if there even was an original story to begin with)* I sat down and watched this movie. David Foster Wallace is one of those people who have alot to say, maybe too much to say, because he's one of the few people who has anything interesting to say the way he does and so everybody wants him to say something on their show, program, magazine, whatever. Let's go from there and see where we end up, right? Make a movie about this inspiring novelist who just wrote a book the size of a brick and let's mix in a failed writer, with the same name, looking for inspiration.

What I thought might be a genuinely different experience in cinéma, a talkie that changes talkies the way Waking Life changed animation for a 12 year old kid living in the suburbs with only a broadband at his disposal, turned out to be what the voice in my head already assumed: this is just another cash grab biopic of a famous person. Oh, but he says he doesn't wanna be famous, he says he doesn't wanna be a big movie star, he doesn't want to be the only writer to be featured in Rolling Stone, he moans about everything being recorded whilst enjoying the attention, very well knowing and forecasting that he will become the Kurt Cobain of writing: a damn commodity for people to consume, another mindset that will be turned into an accessory. Wanna be an intellectual but don't know how? Here are some snobby teenagers reciting DFW on YouTube in bite size chunks for your bite sized attention span. You won't have to think at all! Just act like him and all the bookworms will think you're kewl *wink* Okay, enough stabbing, let's get serious here.

Besides the humane portrait of this writer and the comedy involved I found that the characters were completely superfluous. Young man seeks inspiration, finds an older man who has the inspiration, both men go on a trip, they have good times, they have bad times, young man doesn't learn anything because he simply doesn't have the life experience of older man. This is a very dry take on The Road Trip meets some kinda guru flick on The Dark Side of Fame I have seen dozens and dozens of times before and this is my roadblock. I would have liked this movie alot more if this story were fictionalized with a writer inspired by the mind of David Foster Wallace instead of simply drawing an audience with his name and not doing it any honor. He's a writer that has influenced many people of my generation, Gen Y and Gen Z** and honestly, if you can't produce or direct a movie that honors this person's work, you are disrespecting that person. The cherry here is that David's being played by THE GUY that is being typecast for bromance flicks, which only emphasizes the selling point of this film. There's no sad ending, because the other David - played by an actor who is often being typecast for being the other dude in the room - never put any effort in contacting David back. There's no remorse, no sadness, to feel bad about their break-up. They simply just had a fun time for what was supposed to be an interview. Two dudes smoking, talking, watching TV and buying a ton of junk food. It doesn't live up to anything. Nothing. And that's not what David Foster Wallace wrote about and that's not what we should remember him for.

Again: I wouldn't call this a bad film necessarily for only missing the trope it's built on, a trope is simply an instrument to generate a story. I wouldn't call this movie bad because there's not enough drama. I would call this a bad film because I'm quite sure these kind of stories simply don't belong on a screen. Americans simply don't how to make a film that feels natural like Chinese movies often excel at. This is a clear example of the book being better than the film, unless the other David is still a terrible writer.

*Even though the credits mention the book this movie was based on ** I'm technically a Millennial (Gen Y) but this term is confusing to most people. Basically, Millennials are people who became adults after 2000. Also, Gen Z is quite inspired by the same ideas but have other methods, which shouldn't be part of this review.

Cargo (III) (2017)

An Ocean Between The Waves

[8/10 · 7 October 2017]

After the father of a family of fishermen falls overboard during a heavy storm his sons are forced to work together to take over the business. The oldest son puts himself in charge and tries to keep his brothers out of it, without his knowing the company went bankrupt and can't sell the boat without the signature of the youngest brother which he despises for being an ex drug dealer. His brother wants to make a deal: he will sign if they go out for one last fishing trip. They agree and their relationship is renewed. The brothers decide they will try to find the money they need to keep their boat, De Broodwinnaar.

This only serves as a background to a dysfunctional family of three brothers, one father and a son that carry the sea within them. They rarely express their emotions, the atmosphere is always glooming, as if they were still out on a storm in the middle of the sea. There is no visible sign of trust, each dealing with the death of their father in their own way. To further stress the loneliness of seamen there are no women in this film. There is only a son, drugs and a lover that has his eyes fixed beyond the sea.

If I could I would complain about the monotony of this film but it is exactly the atmosphere created out of this that makes the movie effective. Being a fisherman is a tough job for tough men that live their life the same way almost every day. They wake up around the evening, prepare the boat, sail out at night and return with their harvest in the morning. They sleep, repeat. This is hardly the life women can imagine spending the rest of their lives and so these men rarely find affection except with their beers and occasional sons that come out of we-don't-know-what. From the very beginning the film makes you carry a weight, this gloom I mentioned before, and when you come out of the cinéma that feeling goes along with you for a while. It is a remarkable feat of Gilles Coulier to depict this lifestyle so authentically without making it feel outdated or oversimplified. The soft hints of Christianity underscores how these men trust their fate to brutal forces of nature that also bind them. Everything feels intentional without being too obvious, as the ending leaves you filled with doubt. Yet in the way the camera movement transforms the final shot you can tell what lies beyond the credits if it were up to Coulier.

Cargo is a phenomenal debut that embraces realism similar to early Dardenne movies.

Atomic Blonde (2017)

Only for the meek

[2/10 · 7 October 2017]

This movie is not only a collage in its soundtrack but also in the way the camera moves, how the scenes are edited and finally a chopping block full of lumps of which only a few contain good acting. I never lived in the eighties and obviously this movie is directed to those people by the choice of scenery, everything about this movie screams Cliché Cliché CLICHEEEEEE!!

The only thing I found interesting was the last fighting scene in Berlin which I'd seen before in a video essay on how to effectively edit action. The second star I give for the effort the director and actors put into this movie. I was very excited to watch this movie, hoping it would be something more than another Bourne ripoff and perhaps something more inspired like Old Boy and The Raid. What came out of it was not only a Bourne ripoff but also just a bland story that is put into scene by a director that simply doesn't know what kind of film he wants to make. The diversity in how the action is captured doesn't feel as focused as it could be, starting off with very choppy editing and ending in longer takes that actually draw you into the intensity of the moment. Then we didn't even talk about the backdrops, the unnecessary lesbian love scenes which were just obvious (and seemingly effective) fan service. This movie isn't worth your time if you know what defines good action movies.

Cheech & Chong's: The Corsican Brothers (1984)

Pretty dope for stoners

[7/10 · 30 June 2017]

This movies makes no sense at all but it is full of good laughs. I checked it with a friend too lazy to switch YouTube (it's on there for free!) and at the end we were glad we didn't.

I could go on and on about it but I'm just gonna keep writing until I get the minimum of five lines full for this review. The rating here is so low because some hipsters think it's cheap compared to Up In Smoke, I guess but trust me: this movie will bust your nuts. PEACE!

Stalker (1979)

Wishes do come true

[8/10 · 8 May 2017]

It has become a tradition for me to watch Tarkovsky films in slices, as its pace is so peaceful that it makes my young body prone to sleep. This process however gives me time to go back, repeating dialogues I didn't understand and forgetting the subtle introductions that often inspire bookends as many films do. And so it is here also that I forgot we are supposed to be following a stalker, guiding two fellows through The Zone, a place where nature has taken over civilization that acts as a trial on humanity. If they succeed in this trial their innermost wish will become reality. It has spread by rumors to be a sacred place but as we learn it is of little significance to the scientist and the writer. They don't respect the rules the stalker sets out for them either up to the point of bringing along weapons into this sanctuary. The writer brings a gun to protect himself, the scientist a bomb to destroy what he cannot understand. However, when they finally reach the room where their wishes are supposed to come true they find absolutely nothing. Water falling from either the sky or through a ceiling and the three of them stare into this void along the camera floating away from their expression. Whether or not they believe is left open and so they return leaving The Zone intact.

The screen has turned back to monochrome, they're in the café where the journey began. The stalker is obviously upset, his faith being disturbed by these two characters. As he goes home with his wife and daughter, his faith weakens. Rambling on about how he will never bring anyone to The Zone ever again, that it is of no use as no one seems to find hope while his wife tries to restore his faith that his work is actually doing good to others, we are left with the question whether or not his work is actually useful. We doubt as the stalker does, yet it is exactly in that moment where the stalker sets off with his family that there is a close-up on the writer's face - looking at the family - that reveals the answer to this question. We can see a marvel on his face, turning from an old and strong tree back into a young and pliable one, as if he were falling in love for the first time. It is here that the writer's innermost wish - finding a reason to keep on writing - is granted. He suddenly understands the stalker's faith in The Zone, as it provides his family and grows a respect for this man who will be shriveling only moments later in his bed by his doing. I am certain that this small anecdote after the journey will inspire the writer to create a new piece of literature or, as we spectators have witnessed, a film that can be called a work of art.

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (2010)

metapodding hard

[9/10 · 18 May 2014]

I read some bad reviews on that absolutely didn't hold any sense so I simply had to write one myself to clear up some things: THIS IS A METAFILM. Yes, it's a movie about movies. You can see it in the different style of cinema the scenes were shot, the multiple kinds of lighting, acting, etc. The dead son is an obvious reference to film which is losing its grounds to digital with the monkey suit as a symbol that refers to another movie, you probably know which one if you look closely to Boonmee's wife. They both stand for the change in technology used by film makers to render special effects, which is ALL compensated nowadays with CGI. The aunt is cripple, she comes from modern civilization which can be argued to cripple the human mind as well. Boonmee has a failing kidney and gets a stoma, even when the doctor said he'll be better he won't because technology simply cannot make man immortal. Man must learn to accept its fate but technology showers us with an illusion of immortality, as cleverly showed throughout the film. Nature will always remind us that we are animals and nothing more.

The film hypnotizes you in its slow paced story, just like the cow it takes patience to tame the beast and bring it back home. If you're simply complaining about how slow a film goes, go to the bathroom and start checking your emails and phone calls I think you're not the right kind of person to watch these sorta films because you're obviously too busy with the material world and cannot comprehend the patience it takes to deepen your well of consciousness. Namaste and please enjoy this movie.

Night Moves (2013)

A very very very poor execution

[5/10 · 8 May 2014]

When I saw this movie on the premiere list of my local art-house cinema (it sounds a lot more hipster than it does) I was wondering why they were showing a movie with Jesse Eisenberg only in this theatre. As the film started rolling it only took me fifteen minutes to realize, this movie is a commercial (and artistic) flaw.

First off, the acting is terrible. Everyone acts like a typical Jesse, very stiff, half autistic, pretending the world should be on your side on all of your opinions. The framing and camera work tries to find a happy medium between a subjective portrayal from the main character's perspective and giving a global perspective of the events, which is confusing and after a while gets very boring to watch.

Then there's the plot, trying to make you believe these are experienced hippie terrorists but in the end they all get ridden with guilt and the main character ends up killing one of his accomplices and gets a job in a hunting parlor (oh the irony). If this movie has any message, someone should spell it out, put it in a HUGE print all over the DVD box and give it the caption "it blows anyway".

Probably the worst movie I ever paid for, Twilight was better (believe it).

Spring Breakers (2012)

James Franco's stoner nightmare

[6/10 · 26 November 2013]

Starting off, I only saw this film because it had James Franco in it (as I can imagine a lot of you did as well). The plot is a very simple "quid pro quo" where Hannibal Lector ends up at spring break, meets some demented teenagers who finally come to their senses and go on a last hunting spree to free themselves from this terrible world of drugs, sex and alcohol. The film has quality but doesn't know how to express them well, for example the very eighties lighting and use of colour is a highlight of this film. The montage has interesting psychedelic effects, but they don't really add to the atmosphere nor do I feel that they show how you would experience any of these substances. When it comes to scenery you can see this film is made after 2010, heavily influenced by music videos and a strong stress on tits and ass. There is barely use of metaphorical play (aka META), a scene where the girls stroke each other and play games in the hallway of their dorms shows their innocence, but there is no counterweight where they lose it so it feels like a fleeting moment of inspiration from the writer. I still gave it a 6 for the ideas it holds as they are becoming part of our modern culture, alas having a poor execution.

The Congress (2013)

A disappointing mess

[5/10 · 21 August 2013]

From what I could find about the novel, this film is completely devoid from it. It only uses the idea of a hallucinogenic chemical that infuses humans into this dream world where everyone is whoever, even whatever, they want to be, wherever they want to be. That's the line, all the rest is new.

I was quite excited for this film but almost all of my expectations fell in the gutter after the first half hour. The characters talk slowly, their expression is almost non-existent, the animation is terribly done with cgi (a lot like the early computer animated Simpsons episodes) and the story is as basic as it can get (an actress sells herself to be animated forever, she goes to a congress and gets stuck in the animated world). The film tries to explain a lot but not in the right places, which makes the pace even slower and the viewer will feel himself alienated from the whole happening.

The Congress seemed trying to reach the "bigger than film" point of view that films produce these days (Tree of Life, Inland Empire, Only God Forgives) but fails miserably. It even mocks itself (after the first animation the main character calls it a "bad acid trip") to justify how dated it is. This film lacks everything animation builds itself on and is -if anything- a parody of the trailer.

Super Shark (2011)

hilariously bad!

[4/10 · 25 July 2012]

Don't even try to take this film seriously, because it's obviously made for laughs. I saw it with some friends on a "b-movie night" and we laughed our asses off! The overly plastic animation of the shark, how it attacks and the clichés of the main characters almost getting it on with each other on screen, the bad acting (seriously, these "actors" are even worse than you in drama class), the way how the shark overcomes the attacks, etc etc.

Even the camera work could've been better, but this film is just another stick of hay on the postmodern pile where I'm looking for needles that don't have "property of Christopher Nolan" laser printed on them (although he barely touches Kubrick's genius, but that's another topic).

If you're a critic you will hate it, if you wanna see a movie for super laughs, get super shark.