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Ash vs Evil Dead (2015)
(Not Quite) Groovy
While these series can certainly please the old fans and the newcomers, they really suffer a lot. First of all, from TV format pacing. I found myself barely paying attention to everything after S1Ep3. Dull, cliche'ed 'plot twists', typical behavior cliches, un-witty, un-funny dialogs, tired recycling of classic lines and not a single line worthy to join the franchise quotes to be remembered 30 years after these series are gone.
I understand, Bruce Campbell wasn't getting any younger for those 30 years, and none of the young generation actors do any acting at all. So, in the end of the day, it's Campbell/Lawless show, and even they are getting engaged in cringe-worthy banal lines exchange once they're on screen.
Don't get me wrong, it's still more watchable than many examples of contemporary television, but will I be re-watching it over and over along with Evil Dead marathon? Unlikely.
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Robin Williams' talent vs The Message
As much as I respect Robin Williams as an actor, and I truly admit his performance is impeccable, there's more than simply funny and well-acted comedy in this movie. Lots of things distracted me from enjoying this movie in an easy and relaxed way, making me questioning the moral compass of the protagonist.
The message this movie sends is questionable. You can be all sorts of irresponsible, immature, passive-aggressive (active as well), lying, deceiving b*tch, and have a good excuse if you did for *insert 'children' here*. Instead of finding a common ground with a *formerly* loved one, the protagonist chooses to deceive her and then enforce his possessiveness on her (in the episodes with her 'new old boyfriend'). That should make people think it wasn't just one case of birthday party chaos to ignite the fuse of divorce, it speaks a lot about his attitude towards his ex-wife. Relationships between two adults come first in the family, children come next.
Zootopia (2016)
Mildly entertaining... if you can turn you PC receiver off.
Five minutes into this movie, and I've already had a feeling I'm being brainwashed with a hose, and I simply wanted something easy and entertaining to watch...
Okay, here we go. First of all, I really enjoy all this hypocrisy. I find it deliciously entertaining. We have a protagonist, who chose a very specific field of work, and it's not only about making the others obey the law and/ or authority. First of all things it requires a very strict obedience and subordination, AND our dumb fluffy hero thinks it works only one way. She's better than that, she shouldn't do her job because she knows better. *applauds* Cartman's 'Respect my authoritah!' line should be somewhere within this movie's logic.
We have several absolutely Mary-Sue/ Deus ex Machina moments. The worst of them all is when protagonist's about to get fired, expectedly, but some random sheep saves her fluffy tail. Next time - Nick interferes with pretty much the same result. Seriously? It's between her and her superior, who's Nick? Is it a common practice out there for complete strangers to step in the job issues discussions and twist them the way they want?
I dare you to moralize this. Refuse to do the assigned job, insist on special treatment right from the doorstep, think you're better than the tasks that have to be done by someone (not you, apparently), and there would certainly be a miracle saving you from ending up in a dumpster? Gimme a break! I'd certainly love a noir-esque twist Disney would probably implement for sure if it was several decades ago - ending up jobless, homeless, too stubborn to crawl back to the farm, despair deepens and forges the character. This would make this movie so better. Instead of this we are encouraged being irresponsible. Great morals out there, someone _else_ would always speak up to _your_ superior. No, kids, that's not what happens in life, it's your job, your superior, you deal with it, no tasks are below you, AND you're responsible.
Next. We have the whole movie attacking our ears with cheesy lines against the prejudice based on *species*, but it turns out, it only is applicable to the protagonist (better than thou, right). All side characters are so stereotypical and one-dimensional based on their species I wonder if it's far beyond the 'racist' line.
I must say, once the movie gets past the Mary-Sue part, it gets slightly better, I won't even spoil that. Too bad the better part is relatively short.
Now, let me see what we got left after all this PC BS had been peeled off. Nowhere near classics, an okay-animation, nothing breathtaking, compared to some stuff released around 25 years ago, average plot and even more mediocre story development. Exaggerated grimaces, getting worse with every movie, but of course, how do people know 'emotions' if they aren't expressed in such distorted way? Painfully predictable and passing, which is certainly a waste of opportunity, since this setting could've been made a better place (ironic, huh?). If you can turn your brain PC receiver off, it's fine to watch once, without expecting much, otherwise - beware of Brainwashing Hose of Hypocrisy!
Rogue One (2016)
Rogue One, but not the first Star Wars tragedy
It could have been a good part of the saga, it could have been dramatic and tragic, but it didn't work out, and that's the most tragic part of it.
Bad acting. While the actors in the original trilogy weren't quite the major league except for the few ones, with the downfall of the standards they can certainly give the new 'promising' faces in the cinema industry a lesson or two. Felicity Jones is painful to watch - who called her an actress, actually? Diego Luna is nonexistent, nothing to be gathered about his character revealed by the acting. My gosh, Forest Whitaker whom I enjoyed in some of the very silly movies like Species, caught something from the rest and is cardboard AF. Maybe a 'death' of a robot, a lame C-3PO substitute and a forced comedy effort, was the most dramatic death of them all. That should certainly give an idea of how much the actual characters don't deserve a single *** to be given.
OK, 1 star for being slightly better than the Farce Awakens. 1 star for not flawless, but bold effort to reconstruct Peter Cushing with CGI. 2 stars for the non-typical for the main saga cruelty, only the Expanded Universe had the balls to show all sides of the story before, that's why I loved it so much. 1 star for Darth Vader presence, with James Earl Jones voice, as it should be, but there's something off about him actually. 1 Star for the last 40 minutes of action. Minus 1 star for SJW agenda - I don't care if they're white, black, Hispanic, Arabic, men, women, straight, gay, if they can't act to save their lives. Minus 1 star for the forced dialogues, worst of the lame video game mission briefing kind, and may the Force be with you if you actually lived through a single one of them.
Penny Dreadful (2014)
Not the worst thing I tried to watch recently
General impression - reminds me of bad fan fiction, when the amateur authors are so scared of writing their own characters they give them a name of a popular character and try to pass it off as fan fiction. Still their writing has very little to do with the actual characters' personalities, distinctive features and such. That's what we have here, I'm really wondering why these series needed so many pointless borrowings; nothing would change if many of them had original names. Trendy keyword/ hashtag? The contradictions of the era shown in the series and modern day 'important messages' - on morality, role of the females, homosexuality, etc, make this show a comedy. Main heroine is questionable for me. First, I don't think Eva Green is even an actress. Her best moments - the possessed ones, aside from that she's just brooding, and everyone around her is making such a big fuss over her I kind of fail to see what's so special about her? Anything useful and/or important that she had done or said? Tiny link to Mina in the first season for which in fact she didn't deserve full credit?
Okay, not a bad show, but so pretentious on the surface it's laughable.
Slasher (2016)
Taking the fun out of the slashers genre
As a connoisseur of the genre I ignored the relatively low rating and tried to watch the first episode... As someone sincerely enjoying some of the cheesiest examples of the genre, I barely made it through the first half of an hour. 6.7 is 'overrated' for this. Do people even know what 'acting' is nowadays? Not the first time I'm questioning it trying to pick at least a single watchable title. Yet here the most believable part is the main heroine accurately portraying a victim of a late-term abortion with a machete with her wooden acting. Couldn't find a single remotely charismatic, appealing or simply attractive character to follow this joyful fest of boredom. Horrible, and not in the 'good for the genre' way.
L.A. Slasher (2015)
Downrated by the wannabes
I believe the only way this movie got a rating that low is because of it hitting a nerve. In fact, everything about this movie is beautiful, especially the 80 - early 90-s stylized score. Well. of course, it's not a cinema Hall of Fame masterpiece, but it certainly doesn't deserve a score that low. The acting is bad - so bad to show how actually bad is the acting in modern shows and movies. Misha Barton fits perfectly, since she doesn't even know how to act. The rest of the characters - you want them to die from the moment they appear on the screen, that's the general thing about slashers. You might deny it, but you all know you want it - you would love to watch a whole Kardashian family slaughtered. Because that's the only thing they're good for.
Man of Steel (2013)
Boring waste of budget.
OK, maybe it looks better with all the fancy CGI on a big screen (when you have nothing better to do other than stare at it), but it took me three days to get to the end watching it at home. I just involuntarily searched for anything more entertaining to be distracted with. And almost anything seemed more entertaining than this.
I'm not going to debate over the take on the canon story or Superman character, neither the general lack of common sense in superhero- comic-based scripts; what's more important for me is this movie failed to keep me interested for more than first hour or even less (and I've seen Lawrence of Arabia XD ). I'm not a big fan of any superheroes comics, but that's hardly an excuse, since many movies based on them still managed to entertain me. And when I'm not watching documentaries, I want a movie to entertain me first of all.
Cast - Henry Cavill worked hard on his physique, yet I'd love to see him paying a little more attention to acting. His facial expressions sometimes just don't work for me. As well as generally I like Amy Adams, but it isn't her best role, she needs something more lively. Right here it's just dry cardboard 'acting', even compared to the usual level of 'cardboard-ness' in comic-movies. I bet Christopher Reeve could do a better job as Superman even in the wheelchair if he was alive.
5/10 for the FX and shirtless scenes, which never made any movie good. They worked so hard on them they forgot about the movie, the story, the acting and Superman himself.
The World's End (2013)
Many people blame it to not be funny enough - well, it isn't about being funny.
Many people, as I've noticed, blame this movie for not being funny enough. That's their point of view I'm not going to argue with. Yes, this movie isn't funny enough compared to the other Simon Pegg's works. But it's not about being funny anymore, and maybe that is why I respect him even more - because of growing, maturing.
The general topic on the mature/immature take on life in total prevails, and the ending shows us how fragile the so-called-mature state is. Maybe this movie isn't that much about laughs, but about a little bit of thinking?
I totally admit I'm with the 'Gary King's team, the idea of freedom, even though I'm working within the corporate standards - the skills, experience and knowledge make up for the anarchist position. I only wish for people in charge to notice our strengths, not our 'questionable' affiliations.