artyom_aa Reviews

Love Undercover (2024– )

I like the idea but bruh

[7/10 · 10 May 2024]

Its so cool to bring football into the United States and make a reality tv show about that. That said, I wish they brought bigger names in football or even not very famous football players but from big teams That would have been much cooler. I think Marco and Jamie were kinda cringe acting like they were on the same level with Neymar Jr and Beckham when most football fans don't even know them. At least Sebastian and Lloyd did not act like that and didn't compensate too much. Ryan is just too good of a guy to be on a dumb reality show and coincidentally he is the biggest star among every one. Overall like I said I appreciate bringing football to the United States and definitely like the concept of international relationships.

I also think that they are better off not sharing fake occupations because it does not make it fair. They should just keep it secret until they reveal their identities. Also, they should choose better girls than these plastic fake girls. With the exception of Ariana, Gabby, and Estefani, the rest were cringe to watch.

Nefarious (2023)

It started good but then it was silly

[4/10 · 16 January 2024]

It wasn't obvious at first that this movie was Christian propaganda until the abortion scene. Don't get me wrong, I am not pro or against religion but the movie seemed like a desperate attempt to claim Christianity as the truth, which is silly. The ending was equally absurd and unlikely according to the plot's narrative. One the plus side, the acting was incredible and touching from the inmate. Some of the exchanges during the meeting between the doctor and the inmate were also enjoyable to watch. Again, until it became clearly Christian propaganda. The final silly part is how the doctor continued to be an atheist after all he experienced. Facepalm!

Another Girl (2021)

Typical man hating rubbish

[1/10 · 5 January 2024]

I sniffed it out from the beginning and by the end, I was disgusted. The amount of hate and demonization of men throughout this waste of time movie is abhorrent. Now the storyline is a bit interesting but the end was foolish. Now let's talk about characters. Our protagonists character is so poorly written its laughable. There are so many contradictions and inconsistencies, specially towards the end. From being paranoid to being unreasonably careless. What about her elder brother who was so caring and sweet but them completely abandons her for hurting his friend's wife?? He doesn't even know Carmen. As for Dave, I guess he's just a typical bad man who just wants to take advantage of every girl out there. What an absolutely shameful narrative!

Honeydew (2020)

Shockingly terrible

[1/10 · 18 October 2022]

If this was a movie that was supposed to be produced by high school students who want to have fun and produce/direct a movie, they would be very disappointed. Editing is laughable, acting is terrible, story line makes absolutely no sense. I finished the movie and I cannot seem to understand what the point of it was. It was not scary, not thrilling, not suspenseful, but if you are in a good mood, you might find it funny because of how bad it is.

There are characters that we have absolutely no understanding for and even the initial main two characters seem like the worst couple ever existed in cinema. I fought hard to stay away during repetitive nonsensical scenes and I wish I had fallen asleep instead of watching this.

I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013)

Waste of Time!

[1/10 · 4 October 2022]

The movie is a hazard to your ears, eyes, senses, and intelligence! Acting is so bad I cringe in between scenes. The plot is as unrealistic and nonsensical as the terrible lines. I guess if you are into demonic screaming and terrible effects, you might enjoy this movie. But you also need very few brain cells as well.

Now let's talk about characters and how one may transforms from an innocent harmless one to a super serial killer with strength and resources of a hundred demons. It doesnt make any sense I guess but again nothing does in the movie. I highly recommend to save yourselves the misery of going through this garbage.

Black Box (II) (2020)

Interesting Story Not a Great One

[4/10 · 15 May 2022]

The plot is interesting and surprising but the essential piece of it is a bit hard to believe. It fankly makes very little sense but you can roll with it. Acting was okay, especially great from the little girl.

Although I appreciated the ending but unfortunately it makes very little sense as well. I dont understand how walking out the door locks consciousness into a dark and how an abusive violent person willingly chooses to sacrifice themselves to save someone they dont know and dont care about.

All in all, this is an interesting story but hardly logical or believable.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

90% fillers 10% actual story

[1/10 · 15 May 2022]

The movie is entertaining if you like silly and unbelievable action. There is a tiny bit of a story that makes sense and is appealing but this movie fails tremendously as it is filled with nonsensical fillers that is supposed to be funny or sad or super cringy.

Coming 2 America (2021)

By far one of the lamest movies out there

[1/10 · 5 January 2022]

I was so excited to watch this movie because I liked Eddie Murphy and really appreciate humor associated with immigrants' experiences in a new country. This was just a movie full of cringe worthy moments. I dont remember laughing or smiling during a single scene.

Not only was the movie not funny, the characters were obnoxious and the story was so predictable and lame. I would give this movie 0 stars if I could and the title of the lamest comedy of 2021.

Orange Is the New Black (2013–2019)

Interesting but completetly unrealistic and so annoying at most times

[4/10 · 13 July 2017]

Piper is one of the most annoying characters! Her face annoys me, her expressions annoy me, her voice annoy me. She is just such an annoying person I don't know why they casted her for this show. Daya is the second most annoying character. The best part of the show is when they called her a goldfish because she truly resembles one. Now let's talk about ridiculous this show is. All this crazy lesbian and criminal drama is just way unrealistic and over-dramatized. The crazy shifts and changes that characters exhibit is beyond reasonable. So this show kinda stinks but it remains to be an interesting story.

Scream at the Devil (2015)

Do you wanna waste your time with a crazy old lady?

[1/10 · 26 March 2016]

"A beautiful schizophrenic woman is pushed over the edge by her husbands illicit affairs" Let's start with the description written by the director. I am sorry but the lady is a grandma! A beautiful schizophrenic woman sounds more like a young student character not a grandma! Okay lets move to the story, narrative, and character. The main lady character acts like she was 30 years old who wants to be pregnant again when she looks like she is at least 50 years old. She also has a very annoying character. Basically a dumb aggressive old woman refuses to take her meds and instead suffers from weird hallucinations. Acting is amateur, directing is basic and the story is very simple. Overall, the movie is awful.

Julia (I) (2014)

A feminazi terrorist like film. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME!

[1/10 · 10 February 2015]

Usually I don't like to leave reviews with spoilers but I will in this case because I will be saving you a lot by strongly advising not to watch this trash. The conclusion of this movie is the creation of a terrorist female who likes to kill innocent men and mutilate them in answer to an incident where she was raped. The morality of the entire premise of this film is deeply troubling and disgusting. Moreover, it is extremely depressing through the triumphant ending for the monster female main character.

There is good story no good dialog no good suspense or even drama. It is just pure absurdity mixed with gory disgusting scenes. The reason why I included the feminist side in this review is because of this new trend by feminist film makers that produce garbage where female characters who have been raped or assaulted by men, in a transformation where they become the monster and end up getting away with it. This just makes me sick!

American Sniper (2014)

American Douchebag! From an Iraqi prospective

[1/10 · 5 February 2015]

Well, the best part of this movie is its ending! Such "hero" could have easily turned into a horror movie story to kill his entire family and then suicide. Now, in regards to the film, it is the purest form of garbage you will ever see! Nothing in it is either factual or realistic. Sadr City did not have any Syria Olympian. And certainly the part where they kill dozens of insurgents is pure fantasy. On the battlefield, a man is worth one man and it is just ridiculous that film makers actually still shoot scenes where one man kills 20 or more by himself. It is just laughable! Regarding the children participating in the war and violence. It is, again, the purest form of bull****! No proof or account could ever confirm this and I certainly have not heard or seen such a thing. All in all, the film portrays ALL Iraqis to be evil, savages, and backstabbing. Yet it forgets that the Americans were the ones who attacked and used violence for economic and political reasons that have nothing to do with the freedom or security of American citizens.

In short, the film demonizes Iraqis. It is definitely a fictional film that does not relate to reality what so ever. Just shameful!

Citizen Khan (2012–2016)

Best Muslim Comedy Ever!

[9/10 · 12 December 2014]

As a Muslim and a Middle Eastern, I found this series to be absolutely hilarious and hits on common stereotypical behavior of Pakistanis and Muslims in general. I did not find it to be offensive at all. I love all the characters in the show. Basically the only negative thing about this show is that there are only a few episodes per season. They seriously should produce more episodes and I think it will be very popular amongst Muslim and Middle Eastern audiences. I don't see a problem why this show would not be popular amongst non-Muslim audiences. Not only does it introduce the people in a comic and light manner, but it is the first show I have ever seen that humanizes Muslims.

Amy (II) (2013)

lol! just lol!

[4/10 · 4 October 2013]

Please disregard all comments praising this movie! They are either high or insane! I watched the entire movie out of curiosity. The effects are just funny! That's why I put "lol" in the title! It looks like my little sister made it on her desktop. Also the acting is so funny! It's like they were joking but unfortunately they were not! But you know what the story was kind of interesting. It's kinda childish but not bad. Also there is a lot of irrationality in the plot. Some characters behave so strangely without a reason. The ending was silly as well. To summarize the entire film, its very silly and irrational but if you have 2 hours to waste then go for it to kill time.

The Day of the Siege: September Eleven 1683 (2012)

My goodness! What did I just watch?

[1/10 · 25 July 2013]

This is the absolute worst historical movie in the history of movies that I have ever seen! It is a tragedy for every historian on earth! It is an evil depiction of Islam and Turks. Showing Europeans to be so civilized and nice while Turks and Muslims to be blood thirsty beasts who have no goal but to kill and destroy! Let me give you a few scenes as examples of terrible fictitious history of this film. First, you absolutely can not prostrate to any man or thing on earth except for God. Kara Mustafa prostrated in front of the Sultan and a weird fortune teller in the mosque. Second, fortune tellers are prohibited in Islam. So not only he prostrated to people, he talked to a fortune teller in the middle of the mosque!!! The third, is the false history of the necklace that Marco gave Kara. That never happened! Every single scene in this movie from the Italian ruler to the Polish and Turk is the worst most evil depiction possible.

Lost and Found in Armenia (2012)

Great but has awful parts!

[4/10 · 23 July 2013]

Okay, the movie was amazing in its parts about Armenian culture and it was shockingly true and funny at the same time. I am also very happy to see many actors from different nationalities here. So its not some stupid Americans depicting a foreigner and looking foolish. Anyhow, I really enjoyed most of the movie except for two parts that made me uncomfortable and a little irritated at the same time. The first part is the American actors in here. It might be funny but the characters were very obnoxious and for me they were the main reason why I am not giving this movie a 10! Very rude and stereotypical American tourist characters. Even when the tourist was in Armenia, he was very irritating to watch. Not funny at all! The second part which made me very uncomfortable was "Ani's" comments about fighting Muslim countries! That was very rude in addition to depicting Azerbaijanis as rapists and bad people. The movie is great but this part is very wrong and racist against Azerbaijan and Turkey! Unacceptable at all!

The Road (I) (2009)

I almost cried. This is not far from real! If the US doesn't change this will be us!

[10/10 · 12 December 2012]

I see myself as a tough guy whose used to watching horror movies all the time. I am generally very indifferent through all gory, disgusting, and disturbing scenes. This movie has made me feel so many things that I can't even start to describe it. I think what was special to me about this film was that I thought it was real. The events portrayed in this film are not impossible to happen. In fact, everyone in the privileged world should see this movie, because it is the only way we can save our world. I am a university student and I study international law. I have a a passion to develop and improve the world especially my country and the weak ones. I studied extensively our global economy, resources and environment. I can't stop asking myself when is it gonna go wrong?! This post-apocalyptic movie is actually happening somewhere in the world. And what WE care about is buying a new smartphone or even I was worried about getting my new touchscreen computer. This is wrong! If we don't change (including myself) we are not going to survive.

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

Elephants flying in the sky.

[5/10 · 24 November 2012]

First, I gotta admit, this movie had some pretty amazing emotional moments. It does well to hook you into each character so you get what they go through and what they feel. In Iraq, we have a saying "Flying elephants" which is the most obvious lie, exaggeration, or impossible thing. This movie was one of them. The end is the "Biggest elephant" in the movie. By far the most unrealistic ending to that event happened. Now I don't wanna say how it ended so I wont spoil the ending but its just silly that everything was finished with such little thing. I still haven't figured out why Los Angeles was the main focus of the attack and end. There wasn't anything special about it and little focus on what happened in other places.

Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012)

Oh my God, Why ?!

[1/10 · 30 October 2012]

I was wondering while watching, did the actors in this movie laugh at themselves while acting. I have no idea how the idea of this movie developed because a sane person would never think that this can be a good movie. It is better to burn money than producing this crap. I'll tell you what, I am almost certain that I can act way better than anybody in this movie. The accent are simply sh*t. Oh my goodness! Any person with a brain would recognize that the accents were off and wrong. As for the characters, an old scientist who has a family that is being taken hostage that loves his young enemy whorish prono looking woman. The two ridiculous kids, and some military men who are very irrational. Nevermind the dolls! Yes the dolls are heroes here. I want to say no more than avoid this movie unless you have absolutely no other option.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

One of the worst! If not THE worst!

[1/10 · 20 October 2012]

Wow! Where would I start from? I am so mad that I wasted two hours of my time watching this bull! Look there is no story, it is ABSOLUTELY unrealistic and impossible , and in addition to that it is not scary suspenseful or sad! There is basically no genre that fits this movie.

I want to warn you here in this paragraph there might be some spoilers but get this. Is it possible for a skinny 120 pound woman (or probably less) to lift 300 pound men (or more) for such long distances and have them tied by ropes in the ceiling and on the floor ? Where the heck did she get her clothes from? How on earth did she escape unnoticed from the river? where did she find food? How did she get so strong and vicious all of a sudden?

Not only that but get this, in couple of days she has become (JIGSAW) and started making traps like an engineer.

I have no idea what people who produced this pathetic movie were thinking but they might have been on drugs!

Conclusion: for the sake of your time don't watch this, for the sake of horror and thriller genre don't watch this because it will make you hate this genre.

Lovely Molly (2011)

My reaction at the end was wth?!

[6/10 · 18 September 2012]

Look the movie is creepy and got me suspended for a long time. It was successful in creating suspense and intensity but in my opinion fails to deliver a message or an ending.

There is a moment towards the end where Molly goes out to hug "someone" I am not gonna say it so I wont spoil it for you but I keep wondering what on earth did they think when they were making this scene! Another part that I will vaguely criticize is the struggle-less death that happened in the movie. It just doesn't make any sense.

Overall, I gave the movie 6 stars because it was exciting and creepy but I was pretty disappointed with the end and how things developed eventually.

The Wife He Met Online (2012 TV Movie)

Not for me

[3/10 · 6 September 2012]

Look I can't give it a one star (or less rating) because I haven't finished but I watched most of it and couldn't finish it. This is very unusual for me because I almost always finish movies but this one had no thrill or mystery it was just annoying to me honestly. The main female actress does a great job acting all psycho and annoying. I don't know maybe other people could disagree with me but I just didn't like it at all. The little girl was an awful young actress. I am not trying to be harsh or mean but she just didn't act well. I must admit that I was surprised with a few details that I won't mention so I wont spoil the movie for you if you are planning to watch it but these little details were not crucial in the movie as the story develops.

Over all the movie isn't really that bad but it is not the type of movie that I like. I like suspense and thrill and this one just didn't have it that much. Instead it fits drama more.

Elimination (II) (2010)

Wow I want my time back!

[2/10 · 31 January 2012]

I recommend listening to me and other reviewers here. This movie was a total waste of time. To be honest, some parts of it made me laugh (nudity scenes) They were completely unnecessary and funny because it was intentional. The girls were hot but you know the movie is a waste of time. It is very random and not scary at all. Just like what I said parts of it were funny. The effects were a joke! oh yes, and what grabbed my attention is the shitty acting of some of the characters, others did well but some like the burning girl and the bitchy girlfriend were a joke and I wont even put them on a youtube video. There isn't much to say anymore about this movie other than it was very cheap and dirty, the girls were losing their clothes more than blood haha and for some reason the contestants never attempted to kill the amazon woman. So in other words, no logic. No action. No suspense. No mystery.

Foster (2011)

made my eyes tear

[10/10 · 22 December 2011]

See, I think of my self as a tough guy who only watches horror movies. However I loved every part of this film, it will be one of those unforgettable movies. Also I am used to getting bored in the middle of the movie but this one kept grabbing my attention. The movie is about a family who is not able to have a child and their life marriage was beginning to fall apart. Acting was awesome, the plot was awesome and so was every part of this film, at the end it made my eyes tear. I don't really wanna say anything else about the movie so you can enjoy every part of it and be surprised with the events that happen in it. Maybe I am not very familiar wit this genre of movies but I think that the ideas were original and that was what made me like it. Maybe the idea of the box wasn't that brilliant but it was original and very realistic. Oh yea, speaking of realistic, the movie does not seem to be 100% real but it makes you think that it is.

MacGruber (2010)

very bad movie

[1/10 · 2 December 2011]

i cant believe i wasted an hour and a half on this movie. i can go on and tell you for hours how bad it is but let me mention a few points that i hated about the movie. first of all, very stupid no real storyline and not good acting. second its not funny at all. most of their humor is really trashy and offensive. the storyline is incredibly ridiculous and illogical. there was a few funny moments in this movie but overall its not worth it. the character of mcgruber especially is obnoxious and awful to watch. in conclusion the most aspects of the movie were terrible and it is very boring for 1:34 hours. in the beginning it feels like a serious action/drama movie but then once the main character is introduced it gets very bad.