mr_me Reviews

High School Musical (2006 TV Movie)

Grease on Acid

[1/10 · 30 September 2006]

Oh dear, where to start with this one? I really don't know, let's just say, this was extremely painful to watch. Who exactly was this film made for? I know it's a Disney movie aimed at kids, so it's gonna be cheerful, but THAT cheerful? I highly doubt todays generation could handle something like this. If it was any cheerier it would give the viewer diabetes.

The songs are the worst part of the film, even worse than the acting. They are made in that annoying tween-pop manner, and the singing? Well, let's just say the singers had the whiniest voices I've ever heard. They sounded like they were singing while holding their noses.

This film might have been better received if it was made about ten years ago during the height of girl and boy band popularity, but by todays standards it just doesn't fit in. If you are over the age of four, stay away from this movie.

Arrested Development (2003–2019)

My Favourite Comedy

[10/10 · 12 September 2006]

Hilarious. Insane. Addictive. Those are three words I would use to describe Arrested Development. It is quite simply, the most high quality sit-com I have ever watched. It really is a crime against humanity that this show has come to an end, way before it's time.

The show is full of the most unlikeable and lovable characters ever. The wonderfully vile Lucille, the legendary Tobias and the magical (intended) Gob, along with the brilliant choice of narrator, Ron Howard.

The show gets better with each viewing, and it is terrible that it's life was cut short. The first season has some of the cleverest writing I have ever seen, while the second season is more insane, but still the same high quality. The third season is slightly weaker than the other two, but that is only because the episode order was cruelly cut in half, meaning it was a lot more rushed than the others.

This show had the potential to become the next Seinfeld. Unfortunately, Arrested Development was owned by Fox, known for their lack of faith in their shows. It took at least four seasons for Seinfeld to get recognition. This show was just starting to get it, and it was cancelled.

R.I.P Arrested Development. Although I am a firm believer that you will return one day.

I order anyone reading this comment: Go out and buy the DVDs, make Fox see they have made a terrible mistake.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

A Very Different Pirate

[7/10 · 8 July 2006]

This can be compared to The Empire Strikes back, it is a lot darker, sinister and scary than the first one, and where this worked with Star Wars, I believe it is Dead Man's Chest's downfall. This is more like Matrix Reloaded than Empire Strikes Back.

Now I cannot stress enough that Dead Man's Chest is NOT a bad movie. It is just a very different film to the original, however, there are quite a few problems. The first being the characters. Far too many pointless characters returned from the original, and although it is nice to see them, there are no where near enough new characters for us to get to know. All of Jack's crew are those from the original, no new pirates, apart from the enemies.

Davey Jones is no where near as good an enemy as Barbossa, there does not seem to be much point in him, not many explanations as to why he is the way he is, he just happens to be there, and wants Captain's Jack's soul. At least Barbossa had a purpose and a goal. There are also very few scenes between Sparrow and Jones, making the whole chase seem a lot less personal.

There are also far too many jokes related to the original. No new material, such as a joke referring to Jack always being slapped by women, the dog with the keys and strapping sea turtles to their legs. Some new jokes would have been nice, although it is nice to be reminded of The Curse of the Black Pearl.

Those are the bad points, but it is still a good film. There are some amazing sequences, such as an amazing watermill based sword-fight and a hilarious chase between Captain Jack and a group of cannibals. It is a good action film, but not quite the fun fest of the original.

But...with an amazing ending scene, and plenty set up for the third movie, perhaps all these problems will be nearly ironed out by the end of the trilogy. Let's hope. A good film, but if this was the first film, it would not have been well received.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

30 mins too long

[6/10 · 5 May 2006]

What a shame. This film could have been really great, and has everything in it to be really great, but sadly it is average. The film has everything in it to make it a great romantic comedy, hilarious scenes, great characters, a great choice of actors, and of course, the title.

OK, so there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, but the jokes are funny and quite a lot of the humour is surprisingly original, however, it is let down by it's length. The film is just too long. After nearly two hours of listening to virgin jokes, and mindless squabbles between bit-part characters. A little editing would have gone a long way in making this a comedy classic. Well, classic is a bit generous, but something that will be remembered for the next 20 years or so. Sadly, it is too long and becomes tiring after a while.

Also, what was up with the last scene? Completely out of place with the rest of the film. We could have done without that.

The Longest Yard (2005)

Horrible

[1/10 · 4 May 2006]

Well, where to begin. Shawshank Repemption it ain't. I know that's a bit of a cruel comparison, but when you look at the Shawshank Redemption, and you look at this, you get really worried, and realise how bad this movie actually is.

Is there a single likable character in this film? No. The main character deserved to go to jail, so did all the others. There is no one to sympathise with, no one to like, it just trails on and on, one loathsome character after another, with a laughable and uninteresting plot.

Seriously bad. Just bad. Come on Adam Sandler, you're much better than this. And what was with the uncredited Courney Cox cameo? It was terrible!

Alien Autopsy (2006)

Oh Dear

[1/10 · 29 April 2006]

Ant and Dec are huge in the UK, they really are superb entertainers, but when they are entertaining, they are being themselves, and the audiences loves it. They are the best comedy due to present TV programmes in the past decade. So, they've conquered the TV and music industry (the less said about that the better) and they've decided to move onto the movie world.

They should have stayed where they were. They just can't pull it off as actors. All the way through the film, you are sat thinking "It's Ant and Dec, it's Ant and Dec" not the characters they are meant to be portraying. The acting is just awful, the two of them seem way to pleased with themselves, they seem to be very big headed and too sure of themselves, thinking that they are almost too good for the movie themselves.

The plot of the movie isn't much better, it could have been something really good, perhaps if they cast real actors as the leads. But, still, the plot is boring an uninteresting, filled with weak back-up characters, weak acting, editing and poor direction. I feel as though Ant and Dec only took this opportunity because it was the only movie they were offered.

Sorry Ant and Dec, don't make a movie ever again. I've lost respect for you after this.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

Yawn

[1/10 · 28 April 2006]

Yawn, I nearly fell asleep during this movie, it was so dull and boring! Oh yeah, this is a stoner comedy, in the sense that you have your eyes half closed all the way through it, trying not to fall asleep.

It just didn't do anything for me, the humour was unoriginal, all the jokes were like cheap American Pie rehashes. There doesn't seem to be any moral to the story, except that the only way to get rid of your troubles is to smoke lots of weed. Yeah right. If you're going to make a stoner comedy, at least make them do some funny things, instead of a pointless and way too drawn out quest to get a burger.

The two leads seem to be way too pleased with themselves all the way through the film, thinking that they are now A list celebrities, when in fact they are D grade comedy actors.

So, Harold and Kumar is a lot like getting stoned. You feel depressed and want to go to sleep.

King Kong (2005)

Great, but too long and effects heavy

[7/10 · 28 April 2006]

I cheered when I heard Peter Jackson was making a remake of King Kong, he was the perfect choice. If he could create a remake that could make us all forget the awful 1970's remake, then fantastic.

He did provide a great remake, its full of action, emotion, romance and thrilling moments, however, I believe Peter Jackson seriously needs to consider is that less sometimes means more.

The film is just too long. Did it really need to be over three hours long? I like long movies, they're just as good as shorter ones, if they are made right. The first hour of the movie drags on. It drags and you find yourself thinking "Oh just get to the island already!!" There are too many special effects. They are spectacular and breathtaking, but I can't think of a single scene where there wasn't one. It felt like one of the new Star Wars movies. Although the effects are great, sometimes it takes something away from the film, you are aware you are watching something fake.

If this film had been trimmed down a little, 45 minutes less, then it would have been a masterpiece. Shame. A little bit of a wasted opportunity.

Joey (2004–2006)

Cheap Spin-Off

[28 April 2006]

This show was created for Friends fans who couldn't let go. I love Friends, but it was time for it to end. Ten years focusing on the same six characters was more then enough, the show was becoming a catch-phrase, and the characters personalities were falling apart. So it was baffling to hear that a spin-off, based upon Friends most idiotic character was going to be made.

Joey was never the best character on Friends, the only purpose of him was to say something stupid. He never had a personality. He wasn't a strong enough character to have his own show.

The scripts are awful. Do we really care about Joey's acting career? Do we really care about the relationship with his neighbour? In Friends, Joey always struggled to meet ends meet in his tiny apartment, how are we supposed to believe he can afford one of that size? Other characters are weak, and the show itself is just one big catch-phrase as well. "How you doin'" Oh yeah, we only had to listen to that for ten years on Friends, ENOUGH.

Sorry Joey, but you should have stayed in New York instead of making us suffer.

Saw (2004)

Best thriller since Se7en

[8/10 · 26 April 2006]

I heard a few mixed things about Saw before I watched it, some people said it was really bad, some said it was really good, and others said it freaked them out, but one thing I noticed was that people couldn't stop talking about it, so I decided to be brave and watch it, and I was very surprised.

Saw is a very superior thriller. It is no where near as gruesome as it is described. It is more psychological than anything, with the characters dealing with the predicament they are in, the history of Jigsaw, and the terrifying recollection of a survivor of one of his games.

This film would have been perfect if it had not been for a few faults. For one thing, the movie is just far too short. Danny Glover's character could really have done with some more screen time, and it would have been nice to see a lot more Dina Meyer. Also, the plot seems to begin to resolve a little too quickly, how the characters know each other and how they are connected. This could have done with a little more development.

No problems with the acting, and considering every scene was filmed as a rehearsal, just imagine what it would be like if it was given a little more production time.

So, all in all, good stuff. Terrifying and gritty. Let's just hope they don't overkill it. I hope there will never be a Saw X: Jigsaws Revenge in the future.

Unleashed (2005)

Only Okay

[5/10 · 26 April 2006]

I've given this a five out of ten, mainly because I think this film was really average, not good, not bad. There are several points that make it a good movie, and several points that make it bad.

The fight scenes in this movie are without a doubt good fun, a guilty pleasure. The first act of the movie plays out like a gangster/action movie, quite a lot of mindless action. However, it's a bit too mindless. The characters are very underdeveloped, and many of them only seem to be there to fill the part of the stereotypical gangster and his henchman.

The mood of the movie quickly changes, but it changes a little too quickly. Suddenly, I felt as though I was watching a family movie, as Danny fits in with his new found father and sister. It didn't seem to fit. And one thing that is truly unforgivable during the film, is when it is mentioned that it is set in Glasgow, Scotland, but there was not a single Scottish person in the film. I wonder if the director even bothered to do his research in this department.

It's not all bad, a fight scene in a very crammed toilet is something to remember, but the rest just doesn't seem to fit together. Average. That is all.

American Dad! (2005– )

Don't compare it to Family Guy...

[25 April 2006]

...and I mean that in a good way. American Dad suffers the same way Futurama suffered when it came along. It was constantly being compared to The Simpsons, endless fans creating surveys over what show is better, and Futurama always got an unfair bashing that it didn't deserve.

American Dad has the same problem, people don't seem to think of it as its own show. People expected it to be just like Family Guy, which it wasn't. But that is not a bad thing. If this show had been made by someone else, I bet people would have appreciated it a bit more.

American Dad is great fun, great characters and stories. It's not quite a laugh a minute like Family Guy, but it's still good fun. Watch it, forget about Family Guy, and enjoy it.

Fantastic Four (I) (2005)

Fantastic Snoar

[6/10 · 24 April 2006]

This movie should be taken as a sign: to maybe rethink making every comic book franchise available into a movie. This movie really could have been something great, but it wasn't. It was very average, which makes the rest of us a lot less optimistic that these kinds of movies can continue.

Everything in the movie feels like a cliché, the villain, the heroes, the situations they land in, and the ending, and that is very worrying, that after only a few years, it is all turning into a cliché.

But its not all bad. Chris Evans works really well as Johnny Storm, adding humour that is not unintentional, and The Thing is equally as good, probably the most developed character in the movie, and a couple of the action scenes are exciting, but the rest of the movie feels rushed, almost as if the director/screenwriter has thought "OK, comic book movies have these kind of moments, and this should happen" instead of taking a stab at turning Fantastic Four into something different and original.

Wasted opportunity.

Serenity (2005)

Wow Wow Wow

[10/10 · 21 April 2006]

I first heard about Serenity before I had even watched Firefly, so when I heard they were making a movie on a short lived sci-fi series, I automatically thought the worse. But, after doing my homework and looking into Firefly a little more, and watching the series, I realized how wrong I was. I did have some worries, however, as TV to big screen transitions are frequently bad.

Serenity blew me away. I love Firefly, but I wouldn't consider myself a Firefly freak, however this movie nearly made me cry. It worked so well and has been the best sci-fi viewing in years, with many lackluster films and TV shows appearing, for example, the disappointing new Star Wars trilogy, more Star Treks than I can handle, not to mention their movies! Although I do particularly like First Contact, but I'm here to talk about Serenity, not Star Trek.

Anyway, back to Serenity, just plain great. All of the characters are reintroduced in a manner that allows first time viewers to enjoy it without getting lost. The script has attempted to give all these characters a little time to there selves, so that they are not pushed into the background and forgotten about. The script is amazing and original, very well directed, and full of action, character development, and a nice way to round off the TV show, which was cancelled before it was even given a chance.

Its a shame Serenity didn't do very well in the box office, and has been denied a sequel. It is unbelievable that we are forced to suffer the like of Big Momma's House 2 and countless other bland, drab and horrible sequels, when a truly great movie, that is just begging for one, is denied it.

Please, network execs, anyone in the movie business, give us Firefly on our screens again, or Serenity 2 (don't use that title). Don't let this be the last of what has truly been a great ride from start to finish.

Doctor Who (1996 TV Movie)

An Insult

[3/10 · 21 April 2006]

This movie managed to kill of any hope there was of reviving the franchise for nine years. This is the "Batman and Robin" of Doctor Who. I am only thankful it was saved by 2005's "Batman Begins" version of Doctor Who, brought back to life by Russel T Davies.

Although I have the greatest respect for American TV, Doctor Who is a very British television show, so the transition was a disaster. There are many aspects of the plot that just don't fit into the formula of Doctor Who. We saw the seventh Doctor, who battled the Daleks, Cybermen, ghosts and every horrific creature imaginable, brought down by bullets. The Master was put on trial by the Daleks and executed. Since when did the Daleks ever put anyone on trial? And worst of all, the idea of the Doctor being half human.

The whole point of Doctor Who is that he is an alien. He is not one of us, he is a stranger on our world, and he does not have the same opinions or morals as us. It is the companion that adds his humanity. So the idea of making him half human to make him more "user friendly" is just an insult to the series that last 26 years.

I have no problems with Paul McGann, he was an excellent choice for the Doctor, he fit the role well, all though the Doctors personality was a bit to whiny. Eric Roberts as the Master was HORRIBLE. So cheesy, so over the top, killing the character of the Master forever. I just hope Russel T Davies somehow manages to resurrect the character after this horrific film.

Sorry America, Doctor Who isn't for you. Watch it all you want, and enjoy it, but don't try and make it.

Firefly (2002–2003)

So good it's depressing...

[20 April 2006]

This is one of the best television programmes to appear on our screens in years, and quite possibly the best sci-fi ever after countless, horrible Star Trek spinoffs. That is why it is so depressing that it only lasted 14 episodes.

This show is hugely original, and has a fantastic cast. What makes it work is the characters, they are all so different and interesting, and it's a shame because by the time the series had finished, many of them hadn't been given the attention they would have had, had the show last a bit longer.

This show should not have worked, everything about it is so original its crazy! This is probably why it ended, it freaked out network executives, and they thought they had a major flop on their hands. How wrong could they be? I miss Firefly, please come back to us.

Neighbours (1985– )

The best and worst show ever

[10/10 · 20 April 2006]

I LOVE Neighbours, it is the best form of escapism ever, with it's ridiculous story lines, laughable characters and the over the top drama. It really is the highlight of the evening after a hard days work. In the UK, other viewers come home from work to get depressed by watching Coronation Street and Eastenders, other choose to be cheered up by Neighbours.

The average character only seems to last two years, although there are still a few long term ones left. Characters are guaranteed to have either a spectacular departure, or go on a cruise/honeymoon/sci-fi convention/help out on parents farm and never come back.

Hilarious recent story lines include Susan seducing a priest, the musical, the plane crash, Harold's dead daughters double, the evil twin, anything to do with Harold and his trombone and Sindi's transformation into a mental patient.

Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)

There should be Scrat: The Movie

[9/10 · 20 April 2006]

A very cute and lovable sequel, entertaining to both adults and children. Ice Age was a great piece of animation, with a great story, great characters and great cast. The sequel is almost as good.

The only fault with Ice Age: The Meltdown, is that the plot seems dull in comparison to the original, with the original three characters and their herd fleeing the oncoming meltdown. However, it is made up with great new additions to the cast and is very very funny. In my theatre, I actually noticed more adults laughing than children.

The star of the show is undoubtedly Scrat. He adds most of the humour to the movie, and I only hope that one day, there will be an entire movie based upon him. Hey, he might not say a word, but he's still hilarious.

U Turn (1997)

How could it go so wrong??

[1/10 · 20 April 2006]

The cast of this film is amazing, along with a great director, so how did this film turn out to be so unwatchable? None of the blame lies on the actors, although you do wonder why they would sign up for something with such a bad screenplay!

Loathsome characters, dire setting, badly edited and way too drawn out. The soundtrack doesn't help much either, creating a horrible atmosphere. I believe this is Oliver Stones attempt at a Quentin Tarantino move, but fails on so many levels. It's actually depressing to think about, knowing that I wasted two hours of my life watching it. I would love to meet Oliver Stone and beat him over the head with the DVD I wasted £3.99 on.

Unfabulous (2004–2007)

Un-Impressed

[2 June 2005]

Oh dear, yet another pre-teen show, only this one is really scraping the bottom of the barel. This show goes even lower than Lizzie McGuire. It is filled with loathsome characters, all of which are "popular" at school, but of course, there's always someone higher up the food chain at school who, of course, they don't like because of this.

Avoid at all costs. This show actually shows how pre-teens are becoming the most hated people around today. They always seem to think they know better, their parents are always "uncool", they disobey their parents, get into trouble, and then try and find some way to get away with it. It also shows how pre-teens have become completely dependant on phones, personally I think phones should be banned to under sixteens.

Don't watch this show, you will want 30 minutes of your life back, and your I.Q will have dropped several points.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Someone hand me a sick bucket....

[1/10 · 7 April 2005]

Oh dear, what a waste of time and money and more importantly, three hours of my life. Titanic with bombs, only take away James Cameron and any sign of talent, story, pacing and throw in historical inaccurancies, clichés and a story that will make you want to throw up from all the cheesy moments.

The film is really divided into three parts. The first part, the love story, the two best friends and of course the girl. Then one hour later, develop a love triangle, wow, Hollywood has never seen anything like that before! (sarcasm intended) Also add several less important characters and bit parts that you hope will die in the bombing sequence that you know is coming, unfortunately, only one of them does.

Finally, the second hour, the bombing sequence begins. It's good to begin with, its good fun, the only part of the movie thats bearable. The special effects are great along with good fight sequences. Unfortunately, they even managed to spoil that with a ridiculous scene in which the two main characters fly around and save Pearl Harbor by shooting down two pilots.

Now you think that with the bombing sequence over, the end of the film is near, you're just about to get your coat and run out of the movies, when all of a sudden, you're subjected to one of the most pointless hours I have ever seen in a movie, in which the survivors, and only the survivors for some reason, fly over to Japan to get revenge. Oh dear. At this point, the movie has completely lost the plot, the acting is horrendous, the editing and direction terrible, and I have lost interest in all the characters. The story has been completely suffocated with the ridiculous sub-plots.

Avoid this film at all costs. Three hours of pointless clichés, cheesy scenes, unlikeable characters, historical inaccuracies and the worst direction I have ever seen. This film could have been so more, or less.

Doctor Who (2005–2022)

The best thing on TV

[10/10 · 27 March 2005]

I reviewed this show after only one episode, and I was amazed at how good it was. Now, 13 episodes later, I've decided to update my review. Thank you Russel T Davis, you have brought back Doctor Who, and he's even better than ever. I thought all hope was lost when the name was handed over to the Americans, and we were left with a God-awful movie that nearly killed the franchise. But now he's back, and in my opinion, the new show is putting the old to shame. The characters are so well developed, you actually learn that there are consequences to the Doctor's actions and for the first time ever, tears are brought to people's eyes, especically in the later episodes. Now we have to wait until Christmas to see any more new episodes, and I can't wait.

1. Rose: A great way to begin the show. The episode focuses mainly on the companion Rose and is hilarious to watch.

2. The End of the World: A fun second episode. We learn a little more about the Doctor in this one, the only problem being the Scooby-Doo style ending.

3. The Unquiet Dead: One of my favourites, I hope in series 2 there are many episodes set in the past rather than the future.

4. Aliens of London: Quite good, but the aliens suffering from flatulence began to annoy me. I loved the scenes with Rose and her mum though.

5. World War Three: The weakest episode of the new series, I just didn't like the Slitheen.

6. Dalek: Wow what an episode, I just loved it. The character of the Doctor really developed in this one.

7. The Long Game: Simon Pegg is great in this episode, but you can't help but hate Adam.

8. Father's Day: Brought several tears to my eyes, very emotional episode, Billie Piper is awesome.

9. The Empty Child: Great stuff, I love the special effects, war time London is great.

10. The Doctor Dances: I really enjoyed this one, fun action and you've got to love the character Captain Jack.

11. Boom Town: Hmm, good stuff, I loved the way you were left questioning the Doctors morals all the way through, but this also felt like a filler episode to me.

12. Bad Wolf: A really great cliffhanger, but I think there was too much of the Weakest Link and Big Brother.

13. The Parting of the Ways: Wow! My favourite Doctor Who episode ever, and that includes the original series. I was left in tears when the Doctor played a goodbye message to Rose.

It's been a long 16 years since Doctor Who was first cancelled, we almost lost it due to a very bad film, but now it's back. Roll on 2006!

Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (2003)

His Tagline Says It All **SPOILERS**

[23 February 2004]

I went to see this movie, hoping that it would be a really fun-filled fare, I didn't expect it to be brilliant, but entertaining at the least. How wrong I was. The words predictable, boring, juviniel and BAD come to mind.

You can tell what is going to happen five minutes into the film, everything from the audition at the beginning to the second he walks into the families home. So, seeing as it was so predictable, it was only a matter of waiting for something to happen, and when it finally did you were sorry it did happen. The humour was just awful, the jokes were mind numbingly stupid and it got so boring at times that I felt like drifting off to sleep in the movie theatre, but then I thought "What if I snoar?" so I had to find solice in playing with my drinks cup for an hour and a half.

David Spade is awful, he tried to play some innocent child like character but was more like a gay pimp. Mary McCormack does manage to squeez in a couple of good moments, she was probably the only decent actor in the entire movie. Very bad celebrity cameos as well, made you think "Oh dear God what is going on?"

I was glad when this movie ended, although you could tell it was rushed, with the dad disappearing like he did, even though you could tell two seconds after meeting him that he was going to. So oh yes, in true fashion style, the former child star realises that he doesnt need fame and fortune to be happy and marries her. Something slightly twisted in all of that considering she was meant to be playing his mother.

Didnt like it, it wasnt a good way to kill two hours of your life, more like a good way to kill your soul.

* out of 5