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Contact (1997)
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If you are totally infatuated, OTT and obsessed with Jodie Foster, then this is definately the film for you. If you are just a fan, or you just like her, or are actually rather indifferent to her, it isn't.
Most of this long, long film are taken up with close-up shots of her face. Yes, there are other characters, Tom Skerritt, etc, but they are there only to give the appearance, the impression, that this is a bona fide movie, and not a video eulogy to her. The story is the usual implausible aliens cliche, complete with the inevitable clips of Hitler ranting which apparently always obsesses aliens so. Special effects are good, though limited. At one point I was fascinated by a colourful nebula; that lasted 2.4 seconds, then it was back to close-ups of Jodie.
And, during some of those long, silent close-ups, it occurred to me that Jodie Foster is not exactly the most beautiful face ever seen on celluloid, in fact far from it. Still, if we had to stare at Kournikova for two hours solid, no doubt her charms might start to wane too.
This is a film for which you will never see a 'Director's Cut'. Clearly the director was given carte blanche to indulge his mania for Foster's face, and the idea of cutting any of that out was anathema to him.
See this film and every contour, every crease of Jodie Foster's face will be etched in your mind forever
The League of Gentlemen (1960)
In a league of it's own
This movie is an involving, intriguing and ultimately poignant heist thriller. Since the advent of a comedy TV show which took it's name, the TV Guides have taken to describing this film as a 'comedy'. Obviously they've never watched it - the moral is, get your movie info from IMDB, not a rubbish newspaper or magazine TV Guide.
The movie's premise is good - a disenchanted ex-army officer dispairs of success on 'civvy street' so decides to organize his own squad of former soldiers and pull off a military operation with a difference - they will rob a bank. This film was the inspiration to the real-life Great Train Robbery, which involved a 20-man gang stealing £3,500,000 in 1963.
Characterization is good and believable; as with all British movies of the era, there is an excrutiating tendency to overly-ingenious rhetoric, one wonders sometimes how they think of such witty remarks. That aside, it's thoroughly convincing. The film code of the day of course required that no film could ever show a criminal benefiting from his crime, but instead of the usual tiresome accidental spilling of the booty out of a train/car/plane window, we have a more realistic, and indeed somewhat sad resolution.
Yes, it is a bit old now, but if you can hang-up your hang-ups about that, you may find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Smilla's Sense of Snow (1997)
Unthawable Ice Maiden
The first scene is one of the most effective and dramatic I have ever seen: an innuit fisherman observes an asteroid crash to earth and must flee with his huskies from it's tsunami.
Breathtaking, but quite honestly you could switch off right then, from there on it's not so much downhill as subterranean.
Gabriel Byrne, Jim Broadbent, Richard Harris and other familiar (some all too familiar) faces are here, mostly playing their usual stock characters; there is really no real acting as such. The main problem is the... er... shall we say, heroine. She is trying to discover who murdered an immigrant innuit boy. People help her, open up and reveal their secrets and suspicions but all the time she is this cold, butch ice maiden standing there cold as ice and you really wonder why people don't tell her to take a run.
How she herself came to care what happened to the boy is a mystery, this girl never cared for or about anything in her life. One suspects the producers started with a viable script, then someone thought "Hey, why don't we make her a real, hard butch bitch." So they did, and it doesn't work. Shame
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Hogan's Heroes was more realistic
If there was one thing that allowed the Nazis to almost take over the world, it was there revolutionary tank strategy - masses of tanks working in perfect co-ordination. In this film, single Panzer tanks just go wandering around the countryside at will, till they bump in to something.
This film is formulaic in extremis - every scene you've seen before, only better. You know the scene from a hundred films where a character is in the thick of tumultuous action, then ducks under water and it all goes silent, repeated 3-4 times? Well yes, that's here, only when the guy pops up all we get is a few popping and spluttering machine guns. The sound throughout this film is the worst ever in any war movie. Even the crumbiest soap operas today have the background hum in group scenes, bars, etc. Not here, you mostly just here the character in focus, the troop of soldiers standing around are silent. The claim to reality made by some must be down to ten dollars worth of offal spread around the bodies.
Even dialogue is without any conviction - people did use the f-word then of course but not in the repetitive way which has become the fashion now. In fact, the french referred to GIs as 'La Beetch' after the phrase which all GIs used all day long - "Son of a bitch". I didn't hear that used once in the whole film.
It is sad that such a ridiculously unrealistic and unbelievable film should be given so much ill-deserved credit. I would recommend "Cross of Iron", "The Victors" or "The Train" instead
The Verdict (1982)
You just know he has body-odour!
Atmosphere, tension, pathos and drama combine to make watching this movie a life-enhancing experience. Strange, moody lighting, unexpected camera settings, the story twists and all-round absolutely superb acting set this one way above the rest.
Newman plays the quintessential anti-hero superbly, you feel a sense of distaste when he appears on screen, you just know he has body-odour, but gradually he wins your sympathy. His performance is seminal here, however even the minor roles are performed superbly. There is an unmistakeable sense that everyone on set knew they were making something significant.
For me, there is one little scene which I will always remember, Possibly the most moving moment I have seen in a film. Newman's friend has to tell him some shattering news but we don't get to hear it with him. We are watching from a far-away viewpoint, yet the body language alone conveys everything. Simply brilliant
D.O.A. (1988)
Truly edge-of-the-seat stuff
Great suspense drama - truly edge-of-the-seat stuff. I keep watching this one, it's so well acted, such great dialogue, intriguing and unexpected turns in the plot. If you guess whodunit - and, more importantly, why - then you are one smartypants. Like all really great dramas, you will discover as the film progresses that your original assumptions about good and bad are not quite the way things work out exactly
Maybe Baby (2000)
On the interchangeability of humour and comedy
Well, let's see....
It's got Hugh Laurie in it, so it must be funny, right? And it's about making babies, so it must be very funny, right? And it's written by Ben Elton, so it has to be very, very funny, right? Well, the ingredients may be there but this christmas pudding is a stale pancake. As a brit, may I be honest and say that the term "British comedy" is very much a contradiction in terms these days.
Trouble is, all the 'in crowd' who make films here don't have a shred of genuine humor between them. For 'comedy' read 'stupidity' - so far as these idiots are concerned, they are interchangeable.
Sadly, only americans know how to do humor now. They don't know how to do much else, but they do know humor.
Jane Eyre (1996)
It's not Hurt's fault
Was this, I wondered, at last a worthy film version of the great classic? I always liked William Hurt, loved his hysterical cameo in I Love You To Death, surely he would bring something remarkable to this film?
Well, all started well - wonderful lighting, filming, mood and character with great acting from children and grown ups alike. I was really into this version, it was so moody and dramatic. Then William Hurt appeared.
Got to say, never since the most clumsy B-movie western action shots of the 50s have I seen anything so inept as his first scene - but it's not Hurt's fault. Instead of his horse being startled by Jane and throwing him, it passes her by quite happily, proceeds down the road a quarter mile and then inexplicably rides into a rock as Hurt slips unconvincingly off. Unbelievable. How could Zefferelli think he could get away with that?
Clearly, Hurt has neither the brooding magnetism or that quality of being about to explode which is necessary for Rochester. Oh for the George C Scott version. Zefferelli obviously realised this problem as he shoots much of Hurt with his back-to-camera or his face in dark shadow. Frankly, William Hurt is just too nice for this role.
The film rambles on, but never recovers from the appearance of Hurt. The mad wife is weakest of all, she wouldn't frighten a nervous case who'd run out of valium.
Shame
I Love You to Death (1990)
When you get shot in the head, it makes you think
All those who have a sense of humour - prepare to laugh! Until it hurts! Most amazing thing is that the funniest lines ("When you get shot in the head, it makes you think...") are from the real life story.
Difficult to say who is the funniest here... it's definately not laugh-a-minute all the way through but a true to life build up of amazing and hysterical happenings. No comedy writer could ever have come up with something so hysterical. Even the small part actors - William Hurt etc - are terrific.
The lasting image for me is of mum-in-law Joan Plowright standing indignantly in the hallway after the bloodstained Kevin Klein climbs back up to bad, saying "I am VERY disappointed". You just know she's about to ask for a refund.
Laugh!
The Barefoot Executive (1971)
Monkey movie with a difference
All the way through this film, part of me was saying "I don't like this kind of film" while the rest of me was replying "No, but I'm enjoying it!" The rather offensive premise here is that the tastes of the great american television-watching public can best be assessed by a chimpanzee.
There's a little go at political-correctness, major swipes at TV production values and some great characterisations of TV exec types.
I watched it while laying carpet tiles and it made a welcome distraction and a good excuse to take a break. I enjoyed it
The Italian Job (1969)
Blatant and overt SPS propaganda
Despite the title, a very british film. Warning: no american under the age of 35 should attempt to watch this film. Sorry, you just will not be able to understand it, the world of Charlie Croker is not for you. (Witness previous comparisons with Austin Powers??**!! Okay, they are both brits, so was Jack the Ripper. You might as well compare Bullitt with the Police Academy series).
"Just think, Charlie - 4 million dollars, for a traffic jam!" And so the definitive heist movie begins - fasten your seat belt and hold on for the ride. The deal is to cause the world's biggest traffic jam and steal the FIAT company bankroll from the centre of Turin.
One of the measures of greatness in films is how often they are imitated. If you see this for the first time you will notice many scenes which you think you have seen before, just remember that this film did them first. However, the driving/chase scenes remain unsurpassed. It all leads to a cliff-hanging ending which actually works with the spirit of the film well.
Only two brief caveats: there is an embarrassing scene where Charlie is given a host of girls as a getting-out-of-jail present; this scene doesn't work, but is soon over. Second, the closing song is an anthem to Thatcher/Reganism. Thirty years before it's time, like much else here.
Grace of My Heart (1996)
Phony Maroney
Gee Whiz and Oh Boy! I just had to take a dekker at this whizzing movie, having heard all the super-dooper stuff from other reviewers. And, having seen it I have to just add... you are all kidding, right??
There's one word alone which expresses what this film is - and that word is PHONY. Phony sixties atitudes, phony sixties songs, phony story, phony phony phony.
I mean, I think it's great that all the top movie stars are not stunning beauties, there should be ugly movie stars just as there are ugly people in real life, the only trouble is Carol King was actually quite a good-looker, so the point in having her played by such a dog is a little beyond me. Why no Carol King songs? Did the makers think that, hey, anyone can write sixties type hits, that doesn't matter, we'll work those out as an afterthought.
The whole point about Carol King's and Goffin-King's success is that they wrote some really - I mean really - great songs.
So a Carol King biopic without any Carol King songs is kind of like a godfather movie without any bullets - it just doesn't work
Yeah, that's my summing up of this load of phony rubbish - it just doesn't work