hansbearnl Reviews

Simbad contro i sette saraceni (1964)

Laughing matters

[3/10 · 1 June 2011]

Is it possible to give any rates to a movie like this one? At first I thought they should have the option to give 0 points, but well, let's see what happened to me while watching this movie.

First of all: I was amazed that I could sit it out till the end! Maybe that's because if you watch this movie as a comedy, you can have a good laugh, although a glass of alcohol or something else stimulating might be needed to help you really laugh out loud.

Imagine, a Princess like Fatima going back to Ali Baba, telling him that she loves him, while only about 1 minute ago in the movie she cries with horror when she discovers his necklace!

So where did I find my points? Well, first of all the actor who plays Ali Baba is quite sexy, and at the same time so clumsy that it looks like a slapstick. Halfway there is some exotic dancer who, according to me, must have been one of the first actors ever to have come out of the closet simply by dancing like this in a movie :-) And finally, we see a great cat-fight (two women fighting), so there you have my 3 points.

No, sorry, I can not say much to encourage you to watch, unless you are like me, you want to watch anything you can watch simply to be able to vote at IMDb.... and I would say, THAT's a good reason as any other!

Hans

Jab We Met (2007)

watch it on a rainy afternoon

[7/10 · 16 January 2009]

7 stars out of 10, for a movie that is actually quite irritating and boring? Yes, since there are still some aspects to this movie that made it worth watching. The plot is thin, the special effects are terrible (watching a train moving out of a station with in the background a screen showing the station passing by), and the actress continued talking is working on your nerves.

So what reason would there be to watch this movie? First of all, the music. Though being a lousy movie in the end, the music is great, and would have deserved a better result.

Secondly, the moments where they movie shows you aspects of several different cultures (even though they made the Chinese dance like Bollywood Indians) gave it something interesting.

And at times it is fun, fun enough to sit down on a lazy afternoon, when you're not in the mood to go to the cinema, to rent a movie, and this is the only movie at hand. But you will have to make it through the first 40 minutes of the movie, which are the hardest to stay interested and focused. But in the end you won't regret having watched it.

Rafoo Chakkar: Fun on the Run (2008)

Great potential comedy becomes huge disappointment

[5/10 · 13 January 2009]

What do you do when you have a good story for a great comedy? Well, I would say you make the best of it, and create a blockbuster. The story altogether has many possibilities: two women are forced to get married if they want to inherit their father's money and estate, two girls are forced to get married after having made a mess of every introduction to possible candidates, and two guys on the run for pretty much the same reasons.

The "gay-issue" plays a part in this movie, although you have to read between the lines at times, and not assume that the writer only used it to create funny moments. Nevertheless, what happens is that the bad sound, the terrible translation for the English subtitles, and especially the bad acting of several of the actors make this a disaster.

And that is really a pity, cause the story has much potential. Let's hope someone takes the same story for a better make-over some day!

Moses the Lawgiver (1974)

Worst Moses ever

[2/10 · 3 January 2009]

I had high hopes when I bought this. Who knows, Burt Lancaster is not just any actor. But oh, was I wrong. Even though you have to consider the time (1974) when there were no blue screen and visual effects departments like in these days, the editor did a bad job. Beside that there more flaws. Simple things like 2 different baby's Moses... and the biggest question: where did the director get the story from? You don't have to believe in the Bible to watch this movie, but even then, the whole movie is based on things that are pure imagination of the director but have nothing to do with any of the biblical stories, or even Jewish tradition. It was a huge disappointment, and I advise everyone if they want to see a good movie, and closer to reality, to watch the movie classic the Ten Commandments.

Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (2008)

touching

[9/10 · 14 December 2008]

Well, of course, you might think that this movie is a kind of make-over and mix of many movies: from Nanny McPhee, Oh God, to A night at the museum, and such titles. But when you have a closer look at this movie, it is a complete different story, and very original. OK, the nanny in this movie is also making sure that a bunch of kids and their "dad" are going to love each other. But that's about it.

First of all, the fact that a tragic accident, and a court order are the cause of all this, is already completely different. The movie has some kids who are playing really well, their is a great sense of humor and at the same time you can't escape it's serious subject.

Minor things, like the religious mash potato they are trying to serve you, as if all religions are alike, you take for granted.

It is a great family movie, good for the holiday season, and some people might even need a hankie. But take it for what it is, a fun movie, enjoyable with the kids.

Om Shanti Om (2007)

Sloppy but fun

[7/10 · 12 December 2008]

I guess if you don't know much about the Bollywood scene, you might get confused easily or even bored somehow. Still, if you compare to all those other Bollywood movies which seems to have 3 plots at least, and start all over again when you think that the movies is finished, than this one is doing quite well. First off all: the plot simply continues in the second part, that is a big relieve. Secondly, it is fun to watch and even the end credits are fun compare with most other movies. The story is not to bad, and even the acting of people like Shreyas Talpade is great. I think the supporting actors are actually doing much better than the leading role. But I advice you, keep an eye on the female leading actress, we will surely hear more from her in the future! The moment they open a huge tin can of Bollywood stars is a fest of recognition although it has no real meaning in this movie. The weakest part: the film fare awards ceremony in this film. But anyway, the film fare awards are weak in itself...

Fire Under the Snow (2008)

impressive

[9/10 · 29 November 2008]

At the IDFA (International Documantary Filmfestival Amsterdam) I had the privilege to join one of the 3 screenings of this documentary. The director of this documentary showed with Fire under snow, how little and how much someone can bear, when it comes to (injust) imprisonment, violent torture and loosing almost half of your life due to injustice by the Chinese. The combination of old material, and even recent material secretly smuggled out of Tibet, made the documentary very worthwhile, although a part of the documentary focused on the 2008 Olympics which are behind us already. But still, I liked it very much, and was very happy to be able to ask my questions and give compliments after the show to the person it was all about, Lama Palden.

Jerusalem Is Proud to Present (2008)

Amazing

[9/10 · 31 July 2008]

An amazing project... like a diary, you read through this documentary with high expectations towards the end: will or will they not be able to show gay pride in Jerusalem. Ins and outs of religious intolerance, the sadness and uselessness of war, the tears and the joy of those fighting for their rights. A must see for anyone who values democracy and human rights! The documentary got it's premiere at the IDFA in Amsterdam, and has been shown on television in the Netherlands during gay pride week Amsterdam on July 30, 2008 and still keeps me emotional when watching. Wish I could have been there to join them, and celebrate and show support.

Het schnitzelparadijs (2005)

lack of words

[1/10 · 10 March 2008]

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Yes, I am Dutch, and Yes I am ashamed of an awful piece like this. You hear the word "fk" almost every 10 seconds, even though it is spelled/pronounced with an o this movie should never have been made, and dumped in the trashcan from the beginning. The fact that this is the 'second generation' of Maroccons living here involved in making this movie doesn't have to do anything with the quality. It could have been OK if they would have use some normal language. Some people call it funny, and at some moments this movie is, well, for those who don't know how to laugh about normal humor that is. Really, I can't find anything in this movie to recommend it to watch it, even on a boring rainy day, or a day the snow is piled up in front of your house for more than 2 meters.

Zindaggi Rocks (2006)

Two thumbs up for Bollywood.

[9/10 · 11 March 2007]

After I watched this movie I had only one 'but', namely, they should have chosen a different title, cause the title doesn't cover what the movie tells us. I am a bit surprised about the other comments for this movie, cause if there is any good Bollywood blockbuster, it is this one. Even those who don't like Bollywood movies will acknowledge that this movie shakes everyone's foundations of love, faith, life. It is all about controversial choices, that each of us one day night have to make, and some of these ugly choices are made "easier" for us in some countries like the Netherlands where they have euthanasia in the law. It is a terrible law, and I am not proud to be Dutch. I hate this law, but at the same time I understand the terrible choices people have to make when suffering and death enter our life. Still, as this movie shows, it is a big question if we as humans can make decisions as if we are God, and you can disagree with the choice that the mother makes in this movie. Nevertheless, this movie has done this with a great delicacy, and even the music is appropriate at the right time. This way it didn't just become a Bollywood movie, but a great Indian story about the hardships of life. Two thumbs up for Bollywood!

Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus (2006)

Art

[8/10 · 5 March 2007]

As Kidman fan Ihad to see this movie, but unfortunately it was already clear that the movie would not enter Indonesia, because of the usual censorship of naked people in a movie.... So I was sort of desperate, till I found the DVD... I won't say much about the quality of the DVD, but at least I had a chance to watch the movie. I had a hard time to watch the movie patiently till the end, although I know for sure that if I had watched it on a big screen I would have enjoyed it for what it is... a beautiful piece of art. It made me feel like I was part of her life, part of the 50-ies, and got this hunger to know more about the real Diane, her work, and in a sense, also would love to know more about the reasons why Kidman chooses the movies she has been choosing the past years.

I think that Nicole is a monument, a diva, but also someone who I would not be surprised about to end sadly in her own life. Don't get me wrong, I wish her all the best, but in some ways I feel as if in some of the movies of the last 5 years, I have seen Nicole herself as she is, and knowing that she portrayed people like Virginia Wolf, and now Diane Arbus makes me wonder.

Nevertheless, you may not be an art lover, only a movie fan. But even then I would suggest you watch this movie. You will find beautifully created cinematography, great editing work, great camera work that reminds of the 50-ies, great colors.

The Queen (2006)

A masterpiece! The Brits have done it again.

[10/10 · 21 February 2007]

Watching the movie keeps you wondering what is really going on in the mind of some people. Though we will never know the real thoughts and words of people who are portrayed in this movie, like Prince Phillip, I do believe that the way Prince Charles talks in this movie is very close to the truth. No matter what you may think about a monarchy (I am glad we have a completely different monarchy in the Netherlands), if you simply look at the way this movie is made, the high level of acting, cinema-photography, make-up, music, editing, it is a masterpiece that rarely comes from Hollywood. The Brits have done it again. Though I doubt it will receive the Oscar for Best movie, it does deserve it though.

I left the theater very much impressed, not the least with the knowledge that a Queen, just as myself, is only human.

Paris, I Love You (2006)

Life and love in all it's ups and downs

[8/10 · 21 February 2007]

At first I thought I was going to watch some documentary style movie about Paris, but already after the first minutes of the movie I understood, this was a movie about love, present in different forms in our lives. Some of the stories were very tricky. For example when a younger girl meets with an older guy, you think they are talking about her lover, only to find out that she is talking about her baby and that she is actually meeting her dad. Humor, drama, it was all present, and watching this movie brought to life within me a hunger for love, a desire to value all that is good, and a knowledge that we never should judge someone else for why he or she loves someone that we could never imagine to love.

A Must to watch!

Ashura-jô no hitomi (2005)

Amazing

[8/10 · 20 February 2007]

The movie only enter the cinema in Indonesia this year (2007), two years after it's official release, and after many illegal DVD's had found its way to the public. Apparently the popularity of the illegal DVD's lead to the release into the theaters, with still public coming to watch.

The movie is a great epic, bringing Japanese culture into your house in an exiting way. In a sometimes humorist way, the story is told about a theater writer who writes a story for his theater, since the regular Kabuki theater plays is something he finds boring.

At first, the audience might be a little bit confused about which story we are following, but when the story unfolds, we see that the love between a male human and a female demon leads to a great story for a new Kabuki theater piece.

The audience is left in the dark if this is a story that is supposed to really have happened in Japanese traditions and mythology, but that doesn't matter.

The way the story is told with a love for theater, expression, vivid colors, humor and tragedy, makes this a great ride on the roller-coaster of Japanese cinema as well as theater.

Let yourself go completely when you watch this movie, try to see it in a cinema instead of on your television at home.

One critical point though: the soundtrack is sometimes a little bit annoying. Though most of it is great music, there are a few moments in the movie that I think they should have chosen some more dramatic music. But maybe the fact that the story contains moments of humor made the director choose for lighter moments in music as well.

Night at the Museum (2006)

surprise surprise!

[7/10 · 13 January 2007]

I never liked Ben Stiller, I don't know why.... I haven't seen any of his movies, but didn't watch mainly because others told me about his bad behavior or bad language.... When someone gave me the green light this week, I went for it, and I must say I don't regret watching this movie. Though it is just comedy with a little bit of drama here and there, it turned out to be a great family movie, with Ben playing at his best (as far as I know). t is one of those popcorn movies that you watch enjoying yourself, with a laugh here and there, a feeling of some sentiment at other places, with special effects that are great, and in the meantime your kids learn a little bit more as well and get stimulated to go for the library (or nowadays the internet) to learn something. Learning is fun, visiting museums is still fun. But I hope that any museum in the rest of the world with a director like in this movie (the worst actor I have seen in the last years) will fire him or her as soon as possible. It could have been the end of this movie, and it sure is the end of your museum!

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Oscar for a monument

[8/10 · 28 October 2006]

In one of the other comments the writer thinks that it is a movie for the MTV generation but I disagree. I am 44 and I love it. Strangely though I am not so much impressed with the movie itself, the story (which is very thin) or the total result. So don't get me wrong when reading the title, I am not asking for an Oscar to be given for the movie.

What impresses so much is the acting in this movie, especially of the main 3 actors : Meryl, Stanley and Anne. Anne prooves that she is growing in her career and is ready to take even more serious roles. Stanley is so different from some of his other roles, and Meryl, she is a monument, and deeply impresses me here.

Can she have an Oscar please?

Finally, I love the fashion, but that's something I like which might not even be interesting for some of the viewers. Overall, 8 out of 10.

Silent Hill (2006)

An Oscar for horror please !?

[10/10 · 21 October 2006]

I don't know anything about games or game on which this movie might be based. All I can say is that in general I hate horror movies. Mostly because it is just about a bunch of people being killed by some mad guy.

In this case it's pure beauty (can you say that about a horror movie?). The story is convincing as much as the acting is. I haven't seen one actor or actress in this movie who is not doing his or her job right, and that includes the young actresses! The story builds up perfectly, and the explanation of the background of the people in the town comes at the right moment.

The use of color, the special effects, they are all great, and there is definitely no over-use of music like in so many horror flicks.

If there is one horror movie that deserves an Oscar it would be this one! Really impressed!

Pension complète (1988 Video)

Service is important

[8/10 · 15 October 2006]

I think it was one of the first videos I saw by Cadinot. Not the best, but it did make me want to see more. In this movie, several friends are touring a beautiful countryside with mountains (France? or somewhere else?) and of course they need a place to stay. Service is important, and beside food for the stomach and a good bed to sleep in, all extra service is welcome. Though they are with a big group, the pension has some handsome young guys too that do the job. Any job. The scenes are tender, sweet, but lead of course to great action. Even though he was still in the early years, I think it is a good introduction for someone who wants to know what makes Cadinot his movies so special.

Paradisio inferno (1994 Video)

Walls

[6/10 · 15 October 2006]

What about these walls? Well, I don't really see what the title of the movie has to do with it's contents. The surroundings for the sexual acts are definitely not looking like Paradise to me. And even if the meaning of the title is different, the stage set for the actors is ugly. A big minus Jean-Daniel! As for the action in this movie, in general I do like it. Most scenes are duo or trio and they show that they enjoy what they are doing. Of course, that's all what it is about, but technical Paradisio Inferno comes out a little bit pale. The light, the decor. But maybe we should forgive Cadinot for this. He didn't have his own studios yet when he made the movie.

Musée Hom (1994 Video)

One of the lesser

[8/10 · 15 October 2006]

Well, I mean, almost anything Cadinot touches becomes gold. However, in this case I think he minimalizes to much. The background colors are not that nice, and it all looks a little bit to clean to me. Of course, with the museum as a setting, and making the models act like they are part of the erotic statues in the museum, you have to make it look like it's real art. But even real art can become a little bit to sterile. It doesn't make the action less exiting. I think especially the oral sex is great, and the camera work as usual is done perfectly giving a good view on what you want to see. But that's why it is one of my less favorite Cadinot's.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (2006)

A mess...

[6/10 · 23 August 2006]

Well, if this guy is giving a vote of 6 out of 10 there must be something good, right? Actually it is quite simple : the story is great. The actors are the right ones to been picked for this movie, and the music is great. 3 Important ingredients for Bollywood movies, especially those who made it to the top 10 of the Indian and international audience.

So what's wrong with this movie? It is a mess. A huge mess. And beside the director, I would also like to blame the choreographer, the person who recruited the figurants, and a few cast members more.

People are placed everywhere and anywhere, just to fill the screen. Even during the dances it is so crowded that you think that they gave half the population of London and New York a place in the movie. Hopefully they didn't give them free tickets as well, cause I don't think the movie will attract enough visitors to earn back the investment.

The usual Bollywood stuff is there : a hospital, lots of tears, dancing, lovers who loose each other and find each other, and rain. You must think after watching this movie that they have monsoons in the USA, and that people from India who live there are so happy about it that, while everyone else in the movie walks around with an umbrella (and they are all bought in the same shop for sure) our Indian actors HAVE to enjoy the rain, at least 2 times they just let them self get totally wet.

Oh, and can we get rid of Shahrukh Khan? After so many movies with him it is about time that someone tells him that he can't act. He can't cry and he can't laugh, he can't show any emotions at all.

So, why still watch this mess of a movie? Since it has some great humor, the music is quite good, and like I say, it's the story that does save the movie.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Finally having fun again going to the movies.

[9/10 · 19 July 2006]

Yes, I did vote 9 out of 10. And no, I am not some kind of kid voting here on IMDb. I am a serious movie lover, and do agree that Hollywood has lost touch with the audience for a long time BUT... This was real fun! The people all around me where laughing and in the end even applauding. The only disappointment for me was that the film ended where it did and now I need to wait till part 3.

Of course, the swamp-kids and their ridiculous language should have been left out or have had a more adult way of handling language. It was a bit stupid if you ask me. So, no 10 but I give 9 points.

Ever since almost 10 years I haven't had so much fun, I mean, who is laughing for Scream 4? Probably all those US kids, but outside the USA we haven't had REAL FUN with a movie from the USA for ages, and this one makes it all well in the end.

Orlando Bloom is finally growing up and becoming a real actor, and others do a great job as well.

I would definitely advise people to go watch the movie.

Banyu Biru (2005)

Confusing short

[6/10 · 3 June 2006]

I can't help but feel like the movie is totally incomplete after watching this. Sudiro is doing well in this movie, which seem to have only 3 or 4 actors. The last years, Indonesian movies lack figurants, characters, and though some do well in the cinema, others don't appeal at all to the public like Banyu Biru.

Not the least the name is already confusing, even to Indonesians. Banyu is Javanese for 'blue', and Biru is Bahasa Indonesia for blue'. Banyu is actually the name of the boy, and Biru the name if his sister. Blue is also the color that hurts your eyes in this movie, and at times make you feel like you want to sleep.

Nevertheless, it was refreshing to see something like this movie, no matter how surreal. It has a few moments of humor, but in general it is drama, and the story has hardly enough time to unfold.

My Indonesian friends actually thought it was a bad movie, and to short. I thought it was just OK. But to be honest, as I was as much confused as them.

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Combination of surprises and disappointments

[9/10 · 24 May 2006]

Maybe my expectations were to high after X2? X2 was really great, and I couldn't wait for this movie. But when I left the theater I had some mixed feelings. Of course, there are some nice surprises in the movie, that make "The last stand" definitely one of the best movies in the sf/fantasy/comic genre for years to come.

At the same time the death of several characters, the lack of introduction for the new characters, made me feel like the makers as well as the actors really had enough of making movies about the X-men. Most likely preparing for the movie about Wolverine....

I think X2 is still the best, although there is no lack of action in X3. But I really, really had hoped for more...

Garasi (2006)

Chaotic movie as commercial for indie band

[3/10 · 22 May 2006]

Well, I know, Indonesians like music, and they prefer you to hear it from miles away. So, when I knew that I was going to watch a movie about a band I was ready for noise. That I thought, but I was still unprepared for the terrible music in the movie, the chaotic acting, and the lack of a good story.

The only moment in the movie that I enjoyed a little bit was when they performed with a traditional gamelan orchestra. The combination of rock and traditional music was a nice surprise.

In general though, if you don't really have to watch this movie, then don't. If you do like indie/rock music, forget about the movie and buy the soundtrack.