Change Your Image
dosanjh1
Reviews
Body of Lies (2008)
I've been converted
I'm not religious, I'm probably agnostic and I believe in democracy. I even love America. I drink Coke, love Nirvana and Disney.
That said, there is nothing on this earth that is more likely to turn me into a Jihadist than this tripe film. I was actually rooting for the bad guys in this film because the good guys are really bad actors.
The Jordian Secret Service head kept saying "Thats what we wanted you to think my dear" to Di Caprieo, whilst smoking a cigar, every time his character done something vaguely spy like. For a minute I thought I was watching Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther.
The Muslims were caricatured into shadowy evil SOB's and the Americans where similarly turned into freedom loving good guys killing people in the name of love.
I don't think thoughtful people will enjoy this film, however there may be a moronic minority that get a kick out of it.
Star Trek (2009)
Oi Pegg!
I only watched this film because I like Simon Pegg. I was very disappointed because he only comes into it in the last 1/2 hour or so. He should be ashamed at his attempt at a Scottish accent.
His role in the movie is a fraction of the talent that he actually has. What we have learnt is accents aren't his thing.
When the film ended I thought "Why didn't they get a real Scotsman to play Scotty?" It would be "logical" wouldn't it?
The film it self is a real bore. It certainly has its moments, particularly young Spock and the delectable Uhura, beyond that not worth spending money on.
Ricky Gervais Live 3: Fame (2007)
Funny but not memorable
If I watch a gig of this size live or on DVD I have to compare it to the greatest stand ups that I have seen.
Gervais is hilarious in virtually everything he has done from his segments on The Eleven O'Clock Show (which also launched Sacha Baron Cohen's Ali G), The Office / Extras, his radio show on XFM (the best times I've had in traffic) and his online podcasts.
As a stand-up, I don't think he stands up (exuse the pun) to the great comedians who have hit upon gold (by genius, by luck, by hardwork or courage) the premier list of comics include - Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, Chris Rock, Sam Kinison, George Carlin, Eddie Izzard and last but not least Richard Prior.
Gervais's gags are more than adequate in that they service a chuckle, however stand up is more than gags, the greats are more then simply joke machines, they are jesters, actors and stylists. They play with their audience, feeding of them, knowing when they are pushed to the limit and when more leverage can be obtained. Every facial expression, every in-flex in their voice contributes to the projection of the gag.
I don't think Gervais has these skills. His most irritating points are his high pitched voice at inappropriate moments, laughing at his own (relativaly funny) jokes and a lack of any real stage presence.
I have followed his career for a long time (he's pretty much unavoidable in the U.K) and think he is a genuinely funny person, however for a tour the size of Fame, I believe he needs to get on the circuit and hone his act for many years before it is charged to a paying public.
No Reservations (2007)
Sucked the soul out of life
Aaron Echart, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Your resume includes In the Company of Men, Nurse Betty and Thank You for Smoking. You are a great actor and an actor in great films. What the hell happened here.
That scene where you are dancing with the orphaned girl in the kitchen with your floppy haircut bouncing around like a basketball was (i am sure) designed to make viewers throw up violently.
The movie is syrupy, sentimental and completely contrived in emotion.
In conclusion, a film for teenage girls and their boyfriends who want some.
The Heartbreak Kid (2007)
Disaponited
I like Ben Stiller and wait with anticipation for any new movies that are released that feature him. I was waiting for this one and unfortunately it sucked like a boiled sweet.
His character was an ars**le. I did not like him. I did not like the fact he was seeing other women on his honeymoon. His wife Lila was a lovely lady. In fact I would say goodbye to my wife in order spend a heavenly night with her. Oven cooked and creamy, or not.
I just could not get over this fact. I am married, I did not know my wife that long before I married her, we have had difficult times but I would kill myself before treating her like Stiller treated the beautiful Lila.
I understand the point of the movie but it left me so cold. To me it is an irrelevance without laughs. If it was an irrelevance with laughs I would have a different opinion.
The movie started of really well and sagged horribly in the middle. I settled in for a slapstick romantic comedy. What I got was a slapstick drama. If I wanted a drama with slapstick I would have gone to my local hospice.
Disturbia (2007)
Hichcock Goes Teen
I was disappointed by this film as I was expecting a solid thriller and got a disposable teen, comedy, thriller with indie soundtrack chucked in.
That aside, it was a solid enough film that keeps your attention but not a film I would pay money to see.
One thing that concerned me about the movie was the bit were Kale tells Ashley that she's a conformist after she set up a house party.
This coming from a guy with a 60 gig iPod, iTunes subscription, XBox Live subscription, what seems to be a PSP, a quality mobile phone, video cameras, flat screen TV's and a huge poster of London Calling by the Clash on his wall.
Talk about the Pot calling the kettle Black.
Anyway, not much good about this film except for Shia LaBeouf (Kale)who had some great one liners and was the only person who could act in this film.
He's got a good chance of being the next Toby McGuire.
28 Weeks Later (2007)
Could have been better
Why is the question.
Why the Americans? Why the kids? Why the heroic soldier? Why wasn't Robert "Begby" Carlyle used better? Why was it so predictable? Why was there so much night-vision filming? Why was it not that scary?
The answer is, it smacks of a wannabe franchise.
The computer game industry will be licking their lips at the prospect of another shoot-em-up.
I like this film but not enough to like the intentions that are surrounding it and believe that it was not necessary to make a sequel and we await a third, more international flavoured, instalment.
One big positive for it the direction and cinematography. Be prepared to see a vision of London that has never been shown on the big screen before.
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Take your humour with you
Oh Jesus what a movie!! I haven't been this thrilled since watching SAW. From the opening scene when the Rejects and the local police are in a massive gun Battle, you are hooked. From here the marker is laid. I rate this as the greatest shoot out ever committed to film.
From here the direction, cinematography, scene colours and the 70's style dialogue kicks in. I'm not a fan of slasher films or exploitation films. I cant tell you when this film is parody or is being referential. I haven't even seen 1000 Corpses.
I'm not sure if its a horror but it is scary. The film is ultimately about torture. It's not as gruesome as some have made out. Its just very threatening and nasty. When I watched this I didn't like a single character in the film. Rob Zombie has turned a bunch of human beings into every thing we hate about humanity. There are 6 billion people on planet earth but there is more evil in 4 characters in this film than in all the world.
Well Done.
Twist of Faith (2004)
Soul destroying
Please read the comments by Roger Brunton in this forum to receive an eloquent view of this film. I quote from him:- "This subject matter shouldn't even exist for it to be brought to people to understand through film" How to describe the devastation of acts of evil committed to another Being? This documentary lets a victim demonstrate the results, the summation of his life-abused into 90 minutes.
Tony Comes starts this diary as a macho Fireman assured of himself. During the film he doubts what is most precious to him. His Sexuality, his marriage, his role as a father and ultimately his religion.
The viewer is a voyeur in what happens 20 years after acts of depravity. Tony cannot hold his marriage together, he is forced into explaining extreme and unfathomable situations to his young children, he is unable to communicate with his son in the way a father should because HE IS A VICTIM, his faith in God is questioned, he is scared of being labelled a "fag" or a "queer."
There are a enough problems in his life that would make him want to quit the course that he is now taking. He is acutely aware to challenge the Catholic Church is a process that will take years and much heartache but a sense of right drives him forward.
There are no happy endings in this film only disgust and resolutions to be vigilant with one's children.
To go back to the quote at the beginning of this review, this difficult piece should not be considered a film, or even a documentary.
It is news.
Our much vaulted media (print and vision) should bring stories like this to our attention so we as people can demonstrate our anger. When "they" talk about it they are more interested in the salacious details. There are more interested in the monster who committed the acts. The people affected are often shifted to the background as "supporting cast." Twist of Faith firmly puts them to the forefront. Not just the victim but his partner, their children and the effect on the wider community.
I believe this film was nominated for an Oscar. Congratulations to the Academy for promoting this film.
Broken Flowers (2005)
Broken Love's
This is the character I wanted to see Bill Murrey play. This is the one that should win him an Oscar.This is the film I wanted Jim Jarmusch to make, the one that should win him an Oscar.
Forward on to March 2006 and neither will be nominated and neither shall they win.This movie is a simple indie piece, no more and no less. Hardly publicised, hardly reviewed, barely anyone has heard of it.
I was scared of this film because of the names involved. JJ's films are not the most accessible (or interesting) and the thought of watching Bill Murrey playing a serious / comic role after Lost In Translation filled me with dread.
I am so glad I gave this monumental comic actor another go after such disappointment with the MTV / SOPHIA COPPALA rubbish that is Lost In Translation.
He has given us a monumental comic picture.
The Dark Hours (2005)
Hits the spot
Kate Greenhouse is a good looking, successful doctor who looks after criminally insane psychopaths in a mental institute. At the beginning of the film she has to assess a mental and decide if he's worthy for release. The relevance of this scene to the rest of the picture is notional but we are immediately aware that she has massive power over certain people.
She is sick. She has a rare brain tumour. There is a cure but its not legit and it's not safe. Luck deals her an ace when she's given a patient / prisoner / mental who has the same condition as her. She tests the cure on him.
She goes away for the weekend to surprise her sappy, writer husband in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere. He's there with her younger gorgeous sister (give me the name of any women who would "authorise" that and then give me her number). She confronts them with her illness and everyone is shocked and depressed.
Then there is a knock on the door....
This film was a complete shock to me. I was not expecting a claustrophobic, horror, physiological thriller. It actually scared me in places and I am one of those people who have come to the opinion that movies are not scary anymore.
I thought about this one for a long time. It is now precious to me.
The Aristocrats (2005)
Vile comedy at its best
Don't watch this film if you are easily offended by bestiality, incest, scat munching, paedophilia, racism or rape.
However if you think you can take any vile stream of consciousness a humorist can throw at you then you will adore this movie and you will end up gut-laughing your way through it.
My favourite bits are when Drew Carey provides the perfect way to act out the punchline and Billy Conollys reaction to an alternative punchline "The Debonaires" and of course George Carlins improvised take of the joke at the beginning of the movie made me a touch queasy.
I think the only problem with this documentary is that it is too long, a lot of points are repeated constantly.
WARNING: Do not watch this film in front of young children or your parents.
Saw II (2005)
a stain on SAW
Oh My God! I loved the first Saw but this was absolute rubbish.
The first film had guile, wit, a psychopathic, sadistic nature about it. I loved the characters, I did not want any harm to come to them. It had me at my wits end throughout the film. Just thinking about the original now I shiver and shake.
The sequel is crap. It's got nothing to do with the original. In fact it got more to do with Cube than anything else. In fact it's more like Cube Part 4 or 5 or whatever it is.
The tragic thing is that the concept of the original was brilliant and it would not have taken a very imaginative mind to make a storming sequel. This one is a stinker.
Mindhunters with Christian Slater is vastly superior to this.
Sorry. I still love the 1st one.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Burn Hollywood Burn
Weak film, this is an amazing conclusion given the material available. Spielberg has somehow got stuck between making a modern sci-fi and a 50's B movie nightmare. A huge comedown for one of the great sci-fi directors of all time.
The result is a thoroughly boring film that does not even deserve to be released with the aim of making a profit. The aim of making a profit with this crap means everyone who pays money towards this is going to be cheated.
Go to Bl*!kb*£ters and rent M. Night Shyamalan's Signs for better value for money. Its the same story, just a league above in all departments.
Hijacking Catastrophe: 9/11, Fear & the Selling of American Empire (2004)
Crap
This movie provides nothing in the issues it discusses. All it does is sum up a couple of years of news, cram it into a hour and a half, call it self explosive and declare it a documentary.
Anybody who has been slightly troubled of the events of world history in the last few years will not find this documentary enlightening at all. It just regurgitates old information.
Having said that though the war is a terrible thing and any half-arsed attempt at bringing the perpetrates to justice is admirable and brave in the current climate of fear in the U.S.A.
I'm not sure if this is a made for TV documentary or a cinema piece, in either case the documakers should be held to account for poor journalism.
The narrator is a joke, he's like Troy Maclure from The Simpsons.
National Treasure (2004)
The Da Vinci Code x 2 you mothers
I'm glad the critics didn't like this film. Personally, I think this film is a Da Vinci code rip off. This is not a bad thing since the DVC has not even been released as a movie. National Treasure gets the first punch, sets the rules of the game.
The Tom Hanks movie adaptation is going to be exactly like National Treasure. Simply substitute Ben Franklin for Leonardo da Vinci, culture, the artifacts, add a more global aspect... and keep the girl and the ending.
Nick Cage does his job, the humour is spread out evenly and is witty. The girl is good, Sean Bean is sensational in this movie. How long before Hollywood gives him the role he deserves?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
No real ideas!
This is a great looking film, top directing, superb acting and a quality script. Even so I came away feeling unsatisfied. Jim Carrey is an excellent actor and he worked with Kate Winslet very well. Its just a shame this movie feels like it has a inferiority complex.
It dwelt on the mind erasure process far to long. I respect that they wanted to relate the romance to memories etc, etc.. but they lost an opportunity to make a great film and ultimately made tosh. This film is as pointless as Lost In Translation.
A visually stunning film that never really gets to grips with its plot. However the performances of the leads are good enough to make one care for the characters we are expected to explore.
At the end of the day a boring film.
Mean Creek (2004)
Delicate loss of innocence drama.
Spoilers ahead.
What struck me about this movie, is the way one moment of madness can change the course of ones life. The viewer is only treated to a few hours of post-tragedy life for these youngsters, but within these few hours a picture builds up of the future they will face.
The perpetrator and oldest, now on the run, is on the downward spiral of a life of crime and on the run. The two youngest of the group lose their innocence cheaply, and the the older members of the group weigh down with sorrow and guilt.
This movie had a lot of depth, there is no good and evil, even though the crime is horrific and the consequences unimaginable. Horrible people are redeemable and good people can be week. There are no heroes or villains, just how we are and what has occurred to make us like this.
Saw (2004)
I'm still shaking!!
This film is beautiful, glorious, wonderful, refreshing... there are not enough adjectives in the English language to describe its brilliance.
I was shocked to discover that this movie is the directors first outing, he's created a masterpiece. Every scene is taut, no filler anywhere at all, from the moment the film starts right to the end you're perched at the edge of your seat. The movie twists and turns, its a visceral thrill to watch it.
This is an 'experiance' movie, all basic emotional needs that have to be satisfied when watching a film are served. This movie is scarier than Grudge and more thrilling than The Manchurian Candidate.
You pay your money to get blown away. PAY YOUR MONEY.
Nuovo Cinema Paradiso (1988)
Nearly Perfect
I got the DVD of this movie free in a copy of The Guardian newspaper today. My whole family watched it and we were all dabbing away tears near the end.
There is nothing sad about this movie, it's just a gloriously crafted film that celebrates having dreams and growing up. If you have ever looked at your past with or without regret and happiness, if you've ever looked at the past and thought about what could have happened and how terrible things could have been, then this is the movie for you.
It's all about fate, it's all about the things that have shaped your life and why your are here doing the things you are right now. This is more then a sweet family movie, it has a lot of depth and makes the viewer think about their own past and upbringing. Added to this the direction, acting and cinamatograpy are near perfect.
My only complaint is that this movie is not long enough, and could have gone into greater description into the upbringing of the characters. This is nitpicking though and even a backhanded compliment.
GOD BLESS THE GUARDIAN
Collateral (2004)
A tight thriller
I think Tom Cruise is a good actor. Let this sink in for a while. Has he had a truly bad performance? Sure he's a little wooden and he relies on his smile a bit too much. We must remember that he was quality in Magnolia, Interview With A Vampire, Mission Impossable and Rain Man.
Collatoral is another movie in which Tom shows us a few more strings to his fiddle. He plays an Ice Cold hit-man, 10 steps ahead of the game and a brain that literally calculates odds.
Jamie Fox is brilliant; the leads connect very well; but don't spark as well as other couples in buddy movies.
Cinematography is striking, the course the film takes is pacy and unpredictable. My main beef with the film is that it lacks an emotional core. We are not told a great deal about the characters and as a consequence, i couldn't care less about the finale of the film.
Anybody else think of Terminator at the end of the movie?
Chris Rock: Never Scared (2004)
Follows the formula
Chris Rock is a poet and a preacher, to watch him in full swing delivering his chisled lines is always wonderful.
If you've seen Bring the Pain and Bigger and Blacker, you'll know exactly what to expect as Rock pretty much continues where he left off, covering the same ground of politics, relationships, the black condition and his interpretation of celebrity crimes.
His delivery is smooth, forceful as ever and very confident. This particular act falls down when he tries to discuss Iraq. Not intending to make a joke but a serious point, he literally wastes 10 minutes of airtime not being funny. I think this may be in homage to his Hero Bill Hicks. (Very spookey listening to BH discuss Iraq 10-15 years ago today)
Watch Bring the Pain, then Bigger and Blacker and then if you have time watch this one.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Rubbish
I saw this one on the weekend, its not a very good film. Toby Maguire is as souless and wet as ever. He really needs to get some sun on him.
His wanabee lady friend Kristin Dunst doesnt have a role. I hear you say she has the role of Mary-Jane and it does appear so. On closer inspection you will notice the charecter does very little of any note except nearly get killed by Doctor Octopus.
Dr Oct is not menacing as a vilan. I like Alfred Molina, i like Dr Octopus from the comic, but the two do not mix. In fact they make Winnie the Pooh look as evil as George Bush on election day.
Die Another Day (2002)
Starts well.....
The first hour and 1/2 is entertaining enough but the end is stretched out far too long.
When bond first meets Halle Berry The dialogue is excruciatingly bad. Thats about as much as you can say about this film.
Trekkies (1997)
Heart warming documentary
This film gently pokes fun at the Trekkies magnificent humanity.
The film showed trekkies as obsessive fans but also portrayed them as people hopping for a better future and Star Trek has provided them with a vision for doing this. They see a world without racial or gender discrimination. They accept each and every human on this planet as a unique and justifiable entity without a hint of stereotyping - the irony is that the rest of us cant see trekkies in the same light and we stereotype these fans (obsessives)as sad and lonely. I am particularly guilty of this.
Some of the fans were a real inspiration, they seemed accutely aware of what people think of them when they go about their daily business dressed in Star Trek uniforms but really didn't care. They didn't see themselves as the problem - the problem was with the finger-pointers - as anything remotly outside social conventions was pervceived as a perverse, strange and abnormal.
This movie is a brillianty observed piece of social commentary and could really have been made about soccer fans, baseball fans, Beatles fans, Nirvana fans, Hip-Hop fans, Goths, Ravers..... just about anybody in the western world.