Chipsmannen Reviews

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Yeah I get it.... Pure F****** violence. Good? No...

[7/10 · 16 February 2009]

When I first heard of the movie Cannibal Holocaust I though it was just another stupid disaster movie. Later on I suddenly heard good stuff about it (Friends, IMDb.com etc).

A guy told me that he cried of this movie because of it's grotesque violence and animal cruelty and another guy told me this movie stank and he said it was horrible and rash and he wish that he never saw it. It thought: Wow! This movie is worth risking your life for! I though of this as the real version of La Fin Absolude Du monde from Cigarette Burns.

In the beginning of the movie I got this good mood and the thoughts of this movie turning out to be a masterpiece of the 70's. Later on when I had spent time watching raping of women, molesting of people, animals getting molested, and not to forget the poor little pig getting kicked at and shot made me cry. It was just a total failure. The movie just wanted me too feel bad and sick I guess.

I'm giving it 4 out of 10 because it only made me realize that I should treasure the good things in this world.

The Mist (2007)

I love it! Best Stephen King movie ever!

[10/10 · 7 January 2009]

I will start by how I found out of this movie. I talked to a friend at school who bought this movie cheap on a gas station. He said it was okay, but he really hated the ending. I just couldn't believe that an ending of a movie could be that a annoying. He nearly screamed till he turned red because of the ending. I will not spoil it, but the ending is just amazing. It makes this movie truly brilliant because it's no mainstream movie. Some people will say the ending sucks, but it doesn't. I can't believe why this movie has such a low rating. It should have been on the top list of IMDb.com.

The movie starts out quite good and I think the monsters of the movie was not very good CGI, but they looked awesome like tentacles and big ugly flies and spiders, quite inventive monsters. There were some gore effects I loved and the actors were good too. The movie is really realistic and I think if the world was attacked by monsters like that, the people would have reacted the same way. This movie is for the Hollywood-American-guff haters.

10/10, just amazing

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

Stupid....

[5/10 · 31 December 2008]

I'm serious when I write this comment: Is this a horror movie or a comedy? I just can't figure that out. I was ready for som pure sick violence and gore which I did get, but besides that I saw a CD Cenobite, a Camera-man Cenobite and a cocktail Cenobite. Even a smoker cenobite and a metal pipe in his head cenobite. The camera-man cenobite even said hilarious things after killing people like: "That's a wrap" and "Ready for your close up". Even Pinhead started to use muscle power and yelled and growled like a dog. They killed Pinhead to say it in other words. And one scene you could se Jim Carrey appear in a coffee cup! It looked just like him! Surely it wasn't him, but... Jeez! I'm giving this movie 5 for two reasons: awesome killings and scenes that made me cry of laughter. Seriously, I cried! For all you "Pinhead is awesome and mysterious"-people out there: Do not watch this movie!

The Gate (1987)

Amazing!!!

[8/10 · 29 December 2008]

If you are ever in the mood of seeing a funny and thrilling 80's horror movie, please watch The Gate! Don't trust IMDb with the 5 rating it's much better than that! I love the opening scene, the monsters and the thrilling scenes it contains.

The movie is about a Gate to hell or something which lies in a young boy and his sisters garden. Suddenly when it's dark, monsters emerge from the gate and attack the boy and the girl. The monsters are small latex beasts which also like incredible good and monster like. And there are some scenes with a zombie dude which are totally outstanding! I'm not going to spoil the end because this is a special effect extravaganza! Must see!

The Last Shark (1981)

Hilarious!

[8/10 · 9 October 2008]

This movie is really worth the money! I went to a DVD store one day and found this movie amongst splatter movies. I read the cover describing it as a real success at the 80's and how mad Spielberg was when the movie got released. I can't believe this movie got that low rating! It may be cheap, it may be campy, but it's really truly entertaining! When I watched the movie I almost smiled the whole time. And that scene with the helicopter... the gore... his legs! Amazing! Laughed my tears out! Sure it isn't as great as Spielberg's Jaws, but it sure beats the guts out of the bad Jaws sequels! Those who thinks my comment is stupid are just the ones who don't understand how bad can be good. Worth watching!

To kako (2005)

Splashy entertainment!

[8/10 · 26 August 2008]

When you see this movie in the store or hear someone talking about it, it may seem to be a really crappy movie, but it isn't. Evil must the one of the greater of it's kind. It contained ultra-violent scenes which was both fun and awesome! I highly recommend it. It's like Braindead, but only with a lot more zombies! Some scenes icluded humor to which made this movie pure genius. I can't believe this movie has got this kind of rating! It deserves at least 8.0! When you watch this movie, do not, I repeat, do not judge the low budget effects and the bad picture. By doing that you will ruin the entire movie. If you have the thirst for gore and splatter movies, then watch EVIL!

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Idiotic disaster...

[5/10 · 16 July 2008]

I can't believe how mindless and foolish people are today saying this film is so great. The first film is spectacular and special and unlike other movies plus it has better actors and CGI effects. This movie is just another dull ultra-action movie like Transformers and Pearl Harbor. I almost cried when I walked out of the cinema. Feels like they are trying to kill the 2003 version and create a sell-out movie so stupid, so meaningless that every child in the entire universe loves it. And the actors, my god, Edward Norton is a brilliant actor, but in this movie he just can't act. And John Hurt is extremely poor too. The ending was also a total failure! What is Ironman doing there? And why the hell can the Hulk suddenly talk?! If you have waited long for an Edward Norton vs Tim Roth Movie, then it's finally here. If you disagree with this comment, you don't know anything about good movies...

Creepshow (1982)

One of the best horror movies in history!

[10/10 · 11 May 2008]

Creepshow is the most brilliant horror movie and contains pure old school horror from beginning to end. It contains five different horror tales. I think the first tale was the best one which included Ed Harris, a mad father rising from the grave and a really sick ending. The second story was kind of weird, but entertaining and included a sick sense of humor and Stephen King as a Redneck. Third story was brilliant with zombies and Leslie Nielsen as a sadistic bastard. Fourth story did in fact scare me when I saw it last year. It was about a gorilla thing in a crate and contained scenes of strong bloody violence, not for people with a bad heart. This movie had been perfect if it wasn't for the last story which was extremely boring and idiotic. I highly recommend it. It is no doubt George A. Romero's best movie after Dawn Of The Dead.

Grindhouse (2007)

Extremely good!

[8/10 · 10 May 2008]

Death Proof was really good, but you can't call it a Grindhouse movie. I don't think it is Quentin Tarantino's best movie, but hey, has Quentin Tarantino ever made a bad movie? I really liked the Stuntman Mike character and it was really fun to see Kurt Russel in a new movie instead of an old classic like The Thing. The ending was... Well... I won't spoil it, but either you love it or hate it, and I loved it! The special effects was really good and it was a really entertaining movie. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you see other Tarantino movies first like: Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill because you will notice things from those movies also including in Death Proof.

Planet Terror was even better! I loved the zombie apocalypse theme in the movie and the extreme gore scenes just made the movie funny. The best character in this movie is no doubt Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan). She IS in fact hilarious. It was funny to also see Tom Savini back on the screen as a clumsy policeman. This movie is filled with though action scenes, graphic violence, hot babes, famous actors and a brilliant ending. Really worth watching! Must be Rodriguez' best movie ever.

Masters of Horror (2005–2007)

Cigarette Burns

[8/10 · 10 May 2008]

A friend of mine bought vol 1 of season one and I thought: Hmm, maybe this is something like modern Tales From The Crypt or maybe a modern version of Tales From The Darkside so I decided to see one episode, which was Cigarette Burns. Before I borrowed it, my friend said it contained scenes of extreme gore so I thought it would be another ordinary splatter, but I was so wrong. It turned out to be the scariest thing I have ever seen... The violent and gory scenes weren't scary, but the small clips from the movie: "La Fin Absolude de Monde" scared me to death. I can honestly tell you that Cigarette Burns is John Carpenters finest work.