TalkingContradiction Reviews

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2002–2004)

Solid update and improvement over the original series

[8/10 · 8 December 2021]

This is how you update a series for a new generation: take what worked from the original series: dynamic and memorable character designs and refine and build upon it with deeper characterization and world building while taking advantage of the technological improvements in animation and editing.

While not ground breaking this a very respectable and entertaining show for kids with enough complexity for adult to enjoy unironically. All the while very much remaining in the spirit of the previous series and is currently now the definitive version of the show and its characters as far as I'm concerned.

Definitely recommend it over both netflix shows as of this date. Check it out most people slept on this show when came out just like the similarly overlooked and underrated Thunderscats remake that came out in 2011.

Masters of the Universe: Revelation (2021)

Disapointing just watch the 2003 He-Man

[5/10 · 7 December 2021]

In a word this show is disappointing everything that it tries to do with the character, setting and lore was so much better realized in the 2003 He-man that this show really has no reason to exist.

I mean its not like the OG He-man was much more than an extended commercial with a plot that never went much deeper than the good guys fight and beat the bad guys but never pretended to be much more than it was and what makes this show so very disappointing is that it cynically thinks the writing is so much better than it is when it is in fact baffling tone deaf and obtuse. Why Kevin Smith thought sidelining and the former main protagonist and antagonist and reducing them into frankly incompetent secondary characters would go over well is beyond me when the entire show was promoted off the very nostalgia people had for those characters. Its seriously the exact sort of clueless corporate-think Smith used to mock. Worst still our replace protagonist in Teela comes off most as emotionally self indulgent to the point of absurdity and unlikability, seriously her world is coming to an end and she spends almost half the series being bitter over having not been told a friends secret while our new arch-villain in Evilin gets ultimately and anti-climatically talked and is allowed to walk away after no joke destroying heaven. For a series that its creators insist was made to expand upon the underdeveloped characters of the previous series it only attempts to further flesh out 2 of them and frankly those characters were better off without the development they were handed so the 0 sum gain approach and treatment of the characters really works out to a lose, lose for all of them. Such a waste talent and work the animators and voice actors are all but wasted on the writing.

Just watch the 2003 He-Man show instead.

Teenage Euthanasia (2021– )

Another Adult Swim dud

[3/10 · 1 November 2021]

Teenage Euthanasia feels like show that took random elements from past Adult Swim shows sucked the life and ingenuity out of them and then tried to glue them together with under cooked and unimaginative gross out/shock humor. The characters are too absurdly broad and one dimensional to work on an emotional level and the gross out humor is tepid to the point literally seems like the writers don't understand even fundamentals of using it. They out throw crotch beetles and expect the fact that concept is gross to inflict a laugh every time time the words are merely mentioned. Come on people: setup, payoff/subversion, call back. This show is sadly another unfunny loser from Adult Swim who really hasn't landed a good show since Final Space... which just got cancelled : (

Birdgirl (2021–2022)

Lifeless and Dull

[4/10 · 9 August 2021]

I really gave this show a shot hoping my initial luke warm impressions of this being a toothless Archer-esche office comedy were off the mark but sadly it just validated them. The characters apart from Birdgirl are lifeless and one note there's nothing notable and memorable about them. And Birdgirls high energy awkwardness wears thin with characters that bounce off her like wet toilet paper and the jokes flop like a dead fish hitting the floor. What can I say I'm disappointed its like all the characters were conceived off their concept art the writers just left it at that. Its not a good sign when the consistently funniest character is the cat who acts like a cat. What happened here? Its like everyone just spaced in the writing room.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

A tecnically well shot, directed, and acted pretenious black hole of a narrative.

[4/10 · 12 July 2020]

If you don't put any thought into the plot, characters, setting, story or mind getting hit over head with themes that aren't really supported by the narrative you might be able to enjoy this film otherwise, like me you'll probably find this film to be a frustrating almost insulting disappoint.

**Spoilers follow from here on out so you have been warned**

Literally from the opening crawl things got off on wrong foot with the craw itself basically subverting itself into pointlessness revealing that all but a week has passed since the last film and the New Republic has fallen. More or less setting the tone for the trainwreck that follows where in ideas setup in the previous film are carelessly tossed away like Luke tosses his lightsaber over the the shoulder taking the emotional closing shot of the Force Awakens and all that it hoped and promised and reducing to a lame wet fart of a joke. The film then proceeds to center its self around a massive gaping plothole where in the Resistance fleeting instead of scattering to the remote corners of the galaxy before regrouping to avoid getting all wiped out in one go all jump to the same point only to find that the First order has tracked through some new tech so they can't jump to lightspeed to escape forcing them into a film's long chase.. which should only last the seconds as there's nothing to keeping the First Order from jumping to lightspeed and cutting off their escape. Which was rather hard for me to overlook as that very thing happens at the end of Rouge One. I'm not going sit here and tell anyone that the previous Star Wars films had airtight plots and entirely consistent settings but there was definitely a lot more thought and care that went into them than went into them in this film which can't be bothered to try hold to its own internal logic. And that issue carries over to the characters as Holdo's decision to not tell anyone her plans makes no sense. I mean even if she didn't tell Poe the plan due to his reckless behavior and failure to follow orders there's no not to tell the rest of the crew her plan especially since the plan is ultimately told them anyway. The film strains to try and act like Holdo had a point but she really doesn't and the joke is all you would have to do to give her one as so many people have commented is just have her mention that she was afraid that their was a spy onboard given that they were being tracked it would have made perfect sense but Rian Johnson couldn't be bothered with things like understandably character motivation. Take Luke's explanation for his cynicism, you have the guy that literally saw good in his father and believed that he could be redeemed and refused to kill him a man that literally participated in genocide and had an active hand in the death billions, is going to contemplate killing his troubled nephew? Likewise we get no further insight into why said nephew was so very troubled to begin with? Its just lazy convenient writing stacked upon lazy lazy convenient writing. Worst of all its all to serve nothing. None the characters are allowed to grow they're either left spinning their wheels with Finn literally repeating the exact character arc he had in TFA, Rey remains a blank slate loner who does for herself or they regress/ are wasted like Kylo and and Hux who are reduced to bicker incompetent clowns while Snoke and Luke die for little reason for little effect.

The film honestly feels like it was a first draft written by student screenwriter so narrowly focused and fascinated with the literary tool of subversion they subverted their story to point where it doesn't really function as narrative onto itself. And as a 2nd act of 3 act story it literally erodes what was established in act 1, advances effectively nothing on its own account basically wiping the slate clean leaving almost nothing to lead into act 3. Frankly it sabotaged this entirely trilogy by making much of what was established in TFA pointless in retrospect and dooming RotS to be a complete mess a it had to serve as act 2 & 3 for a now crumbling act 1. If it weren't so overtly clear how clever the film thinks it is when it really re-treading a lot of old ideas and themes that were better realized and conveyed withing the same franchise, I'd swear Rian Johnson was intentionally trying to destroy the franchise when he made this film.

Hanna (2011)

Another by the numbers action flick that attempts to be more but fails to succeed

[6/10 · 8 May 2011]

There's more than enough proved talent here to make an exceptional film but it goes largely to waste in this by the numbers spook action thriller. The premise: A child raised in isolation trained to be a peerless in armed and unarmed combat but is woefully socially inexperienced, who is made to confront evil and humanity at large while not wholly original is interesting enough but the execution is ultimately banal and clumsy.

Outside of the titular main character Hanna played by Saoirse Ronanall the characters are one-note plot devices and nothing more, their actions often failing to really mesh with their supposed goals and motivations. For example: in 13 years of preparing Hanna for her fight against Cate Blanchett's character Eric Bana's character failed to show her single picture of her target, despite clearly having contacts in the outside world with the means to provide one. And Cate Blanchett's character despite killing every other person involved in the clandestine operation she's trying to cover up seems to wish to capture Hanna alive, which simply makes no sense within the context of the film. The action scenes while generally competent are not memorable and a few instances were edited with such obvious stunt-cuts it completely took me out of the movie. The editing in general seemed sub-par; Cate Blanchett's accent is highly inconsistent and she's played an American character in many films without so much as a hitch. The film is at its strongest when Hanna finds herself exploring the wider world she was cut off from her entire life but this aspect of the film and the character is only ever explored a few times and not very deeply at that, certainly not enough to the point where it overshadows the films shortcomings.

Its a pity, Hanna is an entertaining movie at times but the weak plot, shallow characters, and technical flubs really detract from the overall experience.

The Last Airbender (2010)

Without a doubt M. Night Shyamalan's worst movie to date

[2/10 · 20 July 2010]

I'm not going to dwell upon the controversial casting choices or the way the movie diverges from the source material(Which I highly recommend), because quite frankly those are the least of this movies problems. Muddy, confused, and quite honestly boring fight scenes, laughably stilted and awkward dialogue, disjointed scene transitions, zero character development, a gross over use of narration almost, not a single aspect of this movie works. Much of that could easily be attributed to the fact that there's easily over 2 and a half hours of story here being truncated into less than 2 hours. Consequently there's no time to allow for either the plot or the characters develop organically, and therefore everything that occurs on screen is neither convincing or interesting.

Its quite actually staggering how bad this movie is, if nothing else M. Night Shaymalan could at least successfully establish a palpable sense of mood and tone in all his past films even if it failed to ultimately payoff, but there's not one moment of awe, wonder or suspense to be found in this film, just the anguish of having to watch one sorely inept scene clumsily lurch into the next one and the relief that you won't have endure another one when the it finally ends.

The Thing (1982)

An under looked horror classic that puts contemporary horror movies to shame

[9/10 · 25 April 2009]

Denounced as a forgettable Alien ripoff by most critics upon release, (A frankly unfair claim considering the only thing the two films share in common are isolated settings and a murderous alien that infects people) , The Thing, is a remarkably well made sci-fi horror film, that is nether too thoughtless and gratuitous or too pretentious and inaccessible the twin pits of cinematic failure that all too many horror movies fall victim to. The effects while aged by today's standards hold up well and in some cases remind us all that sometimes good oldfashioned conventional effects, plus good editing and directing can surpass all the computer generated effects in the world, but the real meat and potatoes here is the story telling and the suspense. John Carpenter superbly crafts a story that keeps the audience as off balance as the characters are, by not laying all cards on the table at once and dropping the trump cards in an unassuming timely manner.

The setup is well calculated and executed, the all male cast(another point of contention upon many critics at the time of its release used to condemn the film despite the fact that: 1. given the setting it makes perfect sense and 2. It serves a storytelling purpose as it helps to set the mood of the piece), their stark characterizations (we are really only introduced to the characters within the confines of their daily grind and the increasing dire circumstances they find themselves in),and the Antarctic setting all serve to establish a very bleak tone from the get go and as the insidious, amorphous Thing, rears its fearsome shifting forms(quite unexpectedly at times)its gets all the bleaker. But its the Thing's very nature really drives this home. As the Thing can infect and perfectly imitate any organism it comes into contact with, effectively destroying and undermining the ability of the research stations remaining humans to fight and survive as they can neither afford to remain too close to their fellow man nor allow let them out of sight lest they really be a thing. Trust is a commodity they can't afford to have but they cannot hope to survive without it.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (2007–2017)

Two guys deconstruct T.V. and suburban conventions without an ounce of subtlety or wit

[1/10 · 23 April 2009]

To call Tim and Eric's Awesome show good job genius or edgy, is to fall victim to their singularly humorous and successful joke, which is convincing people that their extremely shallow, lazy, transparent act has some merit.

There's nothing innovative here. Tim & Eric are hardly breaking new ground in their show, they are simply taking satire and intentionally subtracting things like timing, characterization, storytelling, insight and humor(essentially all the things that make satire entertaining)in favor of randomness and gratuitous gross out shots.

The show is based on the premise if that the mere act defying conventions while ridiculing them in and of itself is interesting or entertaining. And that is where the show fails because at the end of the day its even more vapid and than the conventions it is trying to satirize.

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)

Batman is suspected of killing off Gotham's gangsters and must confront the true culprit: The Phantasm

[8/10 · 31 October 2007]

This movie is criminally overlooked and probably represents the best American produced action animated feature ever made and definitely one of better Batman movies yet made. Bruce Tim and company know and respect the source material enough play it as it should be: in epic terms. This is established from the get go with the operatic intro and the story telling takes it from there. Batman comes off like one the Greek heroes of old; struggling with the tragedy fate imposes upon him, his triumphs tempered by loss he presses on in his grim cause.Coming treacherously very close to becoming the very evil he has dedicated himself to end. Which is why the Phantasm makes for such an effective and personal villain for Batman because the Phantasm represents that very fine line, that if crossed Batman would be forever lost. All this is presented fluid animation, with some truly excellent voice acting, and an amazing score only the rather exposition laden plot detracts from the overall experience. A fine example of how the animated medium should be used: as a way tell a good story, not specifically pander to a youthful audience as it so often has been in recent years.