javaguru Reviews

Ordinary People (1980)

Extraordinarily boring slice-of-life movie

[1/10 · 26 January 2002]

If ever there was a forgettable movie, this is it. Mediocre on all fronts: acting, story, directing. So you'd think this would add up to a mediocre movie, but in this case the whole is less than the sum of the parts--it's terrible. Easily the worst movie ever to win the Academy Award for Best Picture.

I give about 1% of the movies I rate a 1, and this is one of them: 1/10

Other People's Money (1991)

Brilliant film

[9/10 · 20 January 2002]

Danny DeVito is sensational as Lawrence Garfield, aka. Larry the Liquidator.

The movie was chugging along nicely, but nothing special until the proxy fight where Andrew Jorgenson, the we've-always-done-it-this-way founder of the company, and "Larry the Liquidator" give speeches to the assembled shareholders. After Jorgenson's speech I was about to write the movie off as another flawed Hollywood portrayal of business and economics, but then comes Larry's speech which is the high point of the movie. Larry's speech is absolutely fantastic and surprising.

The rest of the movie is filled in nicely if not spectacularly. The romance between Larry and Jorgenson's smart and attractive lawyer Kate Sullivan is a nice touch and serves to add another dimension to DeVito's character. The resolution with Jorgenson's company at the end is contrived and the only real detraction from the movie, but that's Hollywood.

One of my all-time favorite movies. I give it a 9, and that puts it in my top 5%.

Magnolia (1999)

Simply the worst movie I have ever seen.

[1/10 · 10 January 2002]

Of all the movies I've seen, this one holds a special place of dishonor: The worst.

It was enough that it is a dreary, meandering plot where you could care less what happens to any of the characters. But then it had to pile on with being overly long. It even fools you into thinking the end is near, going on for an agonizing twenty more minutes when you were ready to sprint from the theater. (Believe me, if I had been by myself I would have left early and not suffered past the midpoint of the movie.)

It displaced Eraserhead as the worst movie I'd ever seen, so if you loved Eraserhead, you'll probably like this movie as well.

Magnolia (1999)

Simply the worst movie I have ever seen.

[1/10 · 10 January 2002]

Of all the movies I've seen, this one holds a special place of dishonor: The worst.

It was enough that it is a dreary, meandering plot where you could care less what happens to any of the characters. But then it had to pile on with being overly long. It even fools you into thinking the end is near, going on for an agonizing twenty more minutes when you were ready to sprint from the theater. (Believe me, if I had been by myself I would have left early and not suffered past the midpoint of the movie.)

It displaced Erasehead as the worst movie I'd ever seen, so if you loved Erasehead, you'll probably like this movie as well.

Toy Story (1995)

The Best Kids Movie of the 90's

[10/10 · 10 January 2002]

Despite being the first full-length computer-animated movie, the movie's strengths are its plot and characterization. The technology is not thrust in your face and simply serves to support a truly excellent animated film. A classic.