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Reviews
Gojira tai Hedora (1971)
Freaky psychedelic fun!
This movie was so out there it's not even funny. Producer Tanaka said that director Banno "ruined the series" with this film, but I can't see how. This movie featured a cool new Kaiju, lot's of human death, gruesome fight scenes and freaky music. Throw in bizarre closeups and camera angles, animation (featuring Hedorah drinking from an oil tanker), bizarre visuals (such as a crying baby sitting in Hedorah muck, and the refusal of a blob of Hedorah to eat a cat in a dance-club), and hippies playing electric instruments out in a field. This movie had it all. It's the fact that this wasn't your run-of-the-mill Godzilla film from that time-period such as the typical Kaiju tag-teams, like GODZILLA VS GIGAN and GODZILLA VS MEGALON that followed, that makes it standout.
Hedorah is one of the more funkier of Godzilla's opponents. he likes to suck out the smoke from factory smokestacks, defecate on Godzilla (TWICE), laughs sadistically when he puts a hurting on Godzilla, and has a pention for spraying sulfuric mist that melts people into skeletons.
Godzilla on the other hand acts like a buffoon constantly wiping his mouth in battle. He also takes a beating in this movie. His hand is dissolved to the bone, his eye is burnt out, his skin get's burned by Hedorah's acid. He looks like a mess by the time the film ends.
Despite all these cool and freaky things, one thing tends to ruin this movie in most people's eyes.......GODZILLA FLIES!!!!!!! Still I think that if you can forgive that horrible campy scene near the end, you'll find yourself enjoying this movie especially after a night of drinking.
Kaijû daisensô (1965)
Giant monsters, spaceships, aliens, a stoned Rodan and Godzilla dancing!!
This was the first blend of aliens and monsters in the Godzilla series and what a blast it was. Some people put this movie down mainly because the monster action is so limited. But, the engaging story about deceptions and doublecrosses from space, tragic love and fun characters (American actor Nick Adams gives this film a fun dynamic with his energetic performances) make the minimal monster action a non-factor.
Watch as a hibernating Godzilla and Rodan are abducted by aliens from beyond the moon.
See Godzilla give Ghidrah a flying tackle and dance the night away after his victory on Planet X
Marvel at the monster mayhem, and watch as Rodan carries Godzilla through the air and slams him into Ghidrah.
And keep an eye out for the best shot of the film near the climax. When Godzilla wakes up a fallen King Ghidrah (via a kicked boulder) and Rodan (via a tail slam), watch the extreme close-up of Rodan's face after he awakens. If you ever wanted to see Rodan look stoned, here's your chance.
All this makes this film one of the best of the Godzilla sequels!!
Mosura tai Gojira (1964)
Godzilla's rubbery lip and giant eyebrows can't beat big bugs!
I still don't understand why G-fans feel that this particular Godzilla suit was the best of the series?? Not only was it too skinny (taking away any sense of power), but his upper lip quivered the entire movie, and he had those stupid giant eyebrow ridges! This suit by far paled in comparison to the earlier suit from King Kong VS Godzilla! Utterly overrated!
Anyway, this film is one of the best of the series. I give TOHO credit for making a giant moth and two giant caterpillars credible foes for the great Godzilla. Realistically Godzilla should have wiped the floor with these big bugs (I mean come on! A moth is such a fragile creature). But TOHO makes it work by making Mothra a magical creature, punctuated by the tiny fairies who speak in unison that are her priestesses as well as her island of worshippers. You feel sadness when an aging near-death Mothra dies defending her egg against Godzilla's onslaught and cheer when her two babies score the big upset victory over Godzilla at the end scoring the win for the underdog.
Also the militarys battles against Godzilla are some of the best in the series. Everything from artificial lightning, to giant electrified nets, to the US navy getting involved with mighty frontier missiles. And none could stop Godzilla.
While not the best of the original series sequels(as most G-Fans will have you believe) it certainly is a gem and is a deserved classic.
Keep an eye out for Godzilla falling into Osaka castle, and dig that freaky turtle skeleton on Mothra's Island.
Gojira-Minira-Gabara: Oru kaijû daishingeki (1969)
A bad acid trip.....
I don't know what I consumed, but something strange happened to me. I began to have a bizarre dream that was extremely hallucinatory.
I dreamt that I saw a little kid in microscopic shorts talking to a monster that looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy and that sounds like Barney Rubble.
I dreamt that I was watching a Godzilla movie full of stock footage from earlier films so that Godzilla's appearance changed from scene to scene.
I dreamt that I saw a ridiculous looking bright green monster named Gabara who's roar sounded like a rooster gargling mouthwash.
I dreamt that I saw 2 idiot gangsters who couldn't even catch that little boy in the microscopic shorts.
I dreamt that the little boy took a PanAmerican flight to Monster Island.
I dreamt that Godzilla battled a giant bird, spider, preying mantises and a giant shrimp!
I dreamt......Oh wait. I wasn't dreaming after all. I was watching GODZILLA'S REVENGE!!!
The Black Scorpion (1957)
Giant drooling stop-motion scorpions!
Another stop motion classic from the atomic age. Giant scorpions awakened by volcanoes menace Mexico. You think a swarm of giant scorpions is bad, wait until you see the biggest and baddest of the bunch...The Black Scorpion!!
Willis O'Brien (the effects genius from King Kong) gets more than alittle help from Pete Peterson animating these arachnid monstrosities in all their stop-motion glory.
The effects were very well done, but unfortunately the transparent matte shots of the Black Scorpion entering Mexico City are terrible. Almost to the point where it ruins the movie. As is the constant (once or twice would be enough) close up of the scorpions face (which is a drooling animated prop). It would have been wonderful to see the Black Scorpion trashing buildings and attacking people in the city rather than a poor matte shot of the scorpion running through the streets.
Still overall a very enjoyable flick. The acting was actually pretty good compared to most of the genre films from the time.
The best scene from this film (hands down) was the descent into the underground lair of the scorpions, which also features not only a giant freaky worm, but a huge freaky looking trapdoor spider as well! The spider and worm prop were from the famous deleted "bottom of the ravine" scene from King Kong. So this is as close as you're going to get to reliving that infamous lost scene. Other great sequences include two scorpions battling the giant worm in a fight to the death, the scorpions swarming over and attacking a train at night, the Black Scorpion slaughtering the smaller scorpions, and the climatic fight between the Black Scorpion and the Mexican military in a soccer stadium.
I miss these kind of movies!
It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955)
Splishy Splashy Fun with a Giant Octopus
How can you not love a 1950's atomic age monster movie that features a giant stop motion Octopus ravaging San Francisco? Yes the acting was wooden. Yes the octopus doesn't really show up until the end. Yes the middle of the movie was dull. But lets face it, it's a movie about a Giant Octopus! Harryhausen does a masterful job with the creature. It's almost like each tentacle has a life of it's own through his painstaking work. The attack on San Francisco was fantastic. The Octopus ripping down the Golden Gate Bridge, snaking his tentacles into the streets squashing hapless civilians, crushing a train car, tearing apart the Ferry Building. And earlier in the picture, when the Octopus pulls a freighter down to the bottom of the sea. Fun stuff! Plus the cool gurgling sound the octopus makes, really adds to the creatures persona. My favourite scene was when the Octopus was sitting at the bottom of San Francisco Bay and snags the atomic Navy Sub with one of it's tentacles in the films climax.
The only thing that ruins this film, as I mentioned above, is the wooden acting (But who cares. You watch these movies for the monster sequences) and the slowness of the middle frame. It would have been nice if you could see the Octopus more throughout the film.
Out of all the big screen cephalopods through the years, this one was the most spectacular and realistic. Even more so then the crappy CGI Octopus from OCTOPUS and OCTOPUS 2. Movies that were made over 40 years later!
The Fantastic Four (1994)
Yeah it's bad, BUT....
You have to lower your standards when you watch a movie like this. It was made on a shoe string budget and wasn't even released! So how can you be disappointed (if you're a comic book fan) when you watch this? As an FF fan I actually enjoyed it, parts of it anyway. It was very faithful to the comic, even the original costumes were used. The cast was likable, even though the Human Torch overacted a little too much. The Invisible Girl was cute. Reed Richards was played very well and most importantly, the Thing looked cool. I had a blast watching the Thing yell out "It's Clobberin Time" and pounding Doom's lackeys. Even though he was a guy in a rubber suit, and even though he was a little too small, for the most part the Thing was great, especially his deep gravelly voice. Dr.Doom was also cool looking but unfortunately the actor who played him "hammed it up" a little too much. The Jeweler character was disappointing and his lackeys were extremely annoying. There are some terrible effects, such as the Human Torch flying into space after defeating Doom's laser and Reed Richards sticking his long slinky arm out of a limousine window waving at his friends, as well as some gaping plot holes. But overall, when all is said and done, it wasn't to bad. Say what you will, it was more enjoyable then Batman and Robin!
Hulk (1966)
Animated Comic Book
This show was basically early 1960's Hulk comics animated the crudest possible way. Early issues of THE INCREDIBLE HULK, THE AVENGERS, and TALES TO ASTONISH were used. The original drawings by Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko were taken from the comic and moved around with minimal animation, accompanied by narration. I know it was the 60's, but they could have came up with real animation to add some fluidity to the characters, like some of the other cartoons at the time. Unless you're a huge Hulk fan, or you remember watching this as a kid in the late 60's, you'll be extremely bored by it. The only cool things from this show were the voices (which were brilliantly cast, although the HULK himself was probably the poorest of the bunch) an appearance by Iron Man, Thor and the rest of the Avengers in one episode, seeing the legendary Jack Kirby's art, seeing some old school villains like the Toad Men and the Metal Master, and of course one of the coolest opening theme songs of all time. "Wrecking the town with the power of a bull. Ain't no monster crowned who is as lovable" They don't write theme songs like that anymore.
Robot Monster (1953)
One of the most unique monsters ever created!
Think about it for a second. Let's say that director Phil Tucker had went with a generic style killer robot as the title character. Do you think this movie would even be remembered, let alone have a cult following? Of course not! It's the gorilla in the diving helmet that makes this movie unique. It's what makes this movie stand out. It's what makes this movie infamous. Ro-Man was popular enough to have resin kits based on him, and he was remembered well enough to be given a cameo in Looney Tunes:Back In Action. What does that tell you? If it was a generic robot that was used, would he have model kits based on him? Would he have a cameo in a movie made in the new millennium? NO! That's why Ro-Man rocks! As for the movie, there is just something surreal about, a gorilla in a diving helmet (whose voice sounds like an old radio serial narrator) stalking 2 kids and four adults out in the desert, freaky X-Ray effects that flash on the screen every few moments, an eerie musical score, and a bubble machine (whose bubble effects were kind of fun if you can catch the original 3D print of this movie). Yeah the acting was horrible. Yeah the romance scenes between George Nader and Claudia Barrett were wince inducing, and yeah, the stock footage lizard dinosaurs from One Million B.C seems out of place. But when all is said and done this movie still stands the test of time as a blast from the past!
Hulk (2003)
Great Effects, but dull story
First off the Hulk had incredible effects. The Hulk looked ultra realistic, especially in closeups, and was faithful to the comics (they even kept the trademark PURPLE PANTS!!!). While there are a couple of cartoonish effects, for the most part the effects were truly amazing. The standout scene was the Hulk's viscous fight with the mutated dogs, hands down the best part of the movie. The Hulk taking on the military in the desert was a classic scene straight out of the comics. The only complaints I have is, why does the Hulk grow when he gets mad? In some scenes he's standing almost 20 feet tall! That made the Hulk look like a giant green version of King Kong. He's only supposed to be about 7-8 feet tall! The madder he gets the stronger he gets NOT the bigger he gets! The fight with his father (The Absorbing Man) had potential but came off as disappointing (especially the water fight). Also it would have been cool if the Hulk spoke. "Hulk Smash!" "Leave Hulk Alone!" etc. My beef with the film though, is the complex story which dragged on in most parts and didn't make a whole lot of sense in other parts. Ang Lee tried to turn this movie into an dark art film which almost ruined it and turned off a lot of the mainstream audience. He would have been better off treating this as an action style movie like the other comic films out there, as opposed to a melodrama . Still overall, it was a pretty good flick (alot better then most people will give it credit for), and hopefully we'll see a sequel.
Gamera tai daiakuju Giron (1969)
The Japanese sure do have an imagination....
Basically Gamera fights a giant knife with an attitude! Alot of people put the Gamera series down for being cheap, but you know what? They were fun! At least Gamera fought a different monster (mostly outlandish ones at that) every movie. Unlike the Godzilla movies where Mothra, Ghidorah, and MechaGodzilla seem to pop up in every other flick. Anyway this movie follows Gamera VS Viras. It has the same concept. Two kids (one American, one Japanese) are the stars. And there is plenty of stock footage flashbacks too. Then things get bizarre. Gurion (the knife with the attitude) slices up a silver painted Gyoas. Shoots ninja stars at Gamera. Gamera sprays out blue blood. Swings around on parallel bars. And does a "la cucaracha" dance to remove some ninja stars stuck in his arms! He then finishes off Gurion by slamming his knife head into the ground, so Gurion is upside down with his legs kicking! Bizarre stuff. Throw in two Japanese women in funky space suits that drug the kids with tainted powdered donuts so they can eat thier brains and you can see what my one line summary means....
Gamera tai uchu kaijû Bairasu (1968)
One of the coolest looking Japanese monsters of all time!
Viras has to be one of the best monsters that the Japanese ever created. I'm hoping and praying that Daiei Studios brings him back if they ever make another Gamera movie. A gigantic space squid with a cool looking face, creepy yellow eyes, and who's roar sounds like screeching metal just simply rocks! The problem with this movie however(next to the fact that two kids are the main stars) is that it's padded with huge amounts of stock footage. We get to see Gamera's origin and attack on Tokyo (in black and white!!) and his early fights with Barugon and Gyoas all from the first three Gamera films! This ruins the overall movie. But next to that it's pretty fun. A spaceship that looks like it's made with 5 black and yellow striped ping-pong balls, Viras decapitating his useless subordinates, and the giant Viras bloodily impaling Gamera with his sharp pointy head are the standout scenes in this flick.
Daikaijû Gamera (1964)
The only "serious" original Gamera flick
What I loved about this movie is that Gamera is treated as a "bad-ass" villain monster out to destroy Tokyo like Godzilla in his earlier films. The rest of the movies turned Gamera into a child loving superhero. The effects were great rivaling and even surpassing most of the Godzilla films at the time. The scenes of American actors that were shot were actually quite well done. It was fun watching the U.S and Soviet ambassadors arguing at the U.N. Gamera looked pretty cool as well with his glowing eyes and elephant-like roar. Loved the psychedelic glowing animated flying sequences. Got to love that "Plan Z" over-the-top ending. And you can't help but dig that cool theme song. Gameraaaa! Gameraaaaa! Yeah!
Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956)
The only Godzilla movie to be taken seriously...
Let's face it. It's hard to take a giant rubber lizard seriously. But this film is different. It's the only film of the series that's forboding and grim. Godzilla seems eerie that way he's portrayed. His roar in this film is actually kind of creepy. The scenes of people dying in the streets of radiation and fire are heart wrenching. And the fact that this movie is filmed in stark black and white adds to the atmosphere. The best part was watching Godzilla make his first appearance in the movie, popping his head over a hill screeching at a bunch of islanders and scientists..Classic! Even the "Americanized" version with added scenes of Raymond Burr as a reporter were done very tastefully. I wish every Godzilla movie had this type of serious tone.
Octopus 2: River of Fear (2001)
Giant Octopus meets NYPD Blue!
I liked this movie a lot better then part one until the ending. The acting while not great (remember this is a direct to video movie after all) is a hell of a lot better then the first flick. Furthermore the effects are much better. The Octopus is actually in this movie a lot as opposed to being a minor character in the first flick which dealt with a submarine crew escorting a terrorist back to the U.S.A. Plus the Octopus looks a lot better. While there is really bad CGI effects, most of the effects were utilized with a huge animatronic Octopus as well as various tentacle props giving the Octopus a more solid look rather then BAD painted effects from the first film. HOWEVER the massive Stock footage from part one kinda ruins it after a while, BUT the ending destroyed this movie entirely for me!! To massive amounts of footage of kids singing on a school bus, to a complete and shameless rip-off of the film DAYLIGHT to 15 minutes of kids being rescued from the bus, to a horrible actress pretending to be an old Jewish women to the Octopus getting completely blown to bits only to resurface completely unharmed moments later to 6 different stock footage shots of the Octopus finally blowing up at the end to me scratching my head in disbelief!!
Octopus (2000)
At least they tried
My problem with this flick is the effects. The Octopus looks to "computer animated". Meaning that it looks like it's painted on the screen rather then having any solidity to it. If they could have utilized animatronics or minature props to bring the Octopus to life the effects would have been tolerable. There is some cool scenes in this movie namely the Octopus attacking the oceanliner at the end, but the inadequete special effects ruin it. Furthermore the Octopus doesn't show up untill halfway through the flick! Also your direct to video acting doesn't help either. Especially that annoying blonde bimbo who tries too hard to "steal the show". GOD, I was hoping the Octopus would've eaten her!! Still, as a fan of killer cephalopod movies I still managed to modestly enjoy it given the circumstances.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Of all people to kill Jason....COREY FELDMAN!!!!!!
So this was supposed to be the Final Chapter huh? Well since this was the biggest hit of the entire franchise it was only fitting Jason would return in numerous sequels! What was so embarrassing is that that ugly geeky drug addict washed up has-been Corey Feldman is the one that kills Jason at the end. UGH! To see the legendary Jason sent to his grave by that geek grossed me out more then the murders. Oh well. This movie was a little slower then Part 3 but still one of the best in the series. It was great seeing Jason whack that annoying Crispin Glover in the face with a machete. Other cool murders was Jason crushing a guys head with his bare hands while the dude was taking a shower. Gutting a nurse, and slicing a coroner's throat with a hacksaw. I just wish it was a little more graphic, but by this time the studio was tired of cuts by the MPAA so this was one of the least graphic of the entire series. Even the deleted scenes!
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
The Birth of the HOCKEY MASK!!
This movie is your typical Friday the 13th slasher film, where Jason stalks a bunch of teens out in the woods until his climatic fight with the one surviving heroine. What sets this one apart from the others, is the first appearance of the DEFINITIVE Jason. This is where he obtains his trademark hockey mask as well as his outfit. Gone are the overalls and burlap sack on his head. I found this movie to be far more fast paced and exciting then parts 1,2 and 4. There are some cool deaths to, such as Jason knifing a guy in half who's walking on his hands, spear-gunning a girl through the eye, and the coolest, crushing a guy's head so his eye-balls pop out. You have to see this movie in 3D in order to get the full effect of the murders. To bad they didn't use the original ending where Jason chops the heroine's head off with an axe!
Gojira tai Megaro (1973)
WORST OF THE SERIES! But also fun!
Yes I know that this movie had a very low budget even for a Godzilla movie. And yes I know it seemed like an extra long ULTRAMAN TV episode. I know that Megalon (A huge upright walking beetle with drill bits for hands and a daisy shaped horn) is one of the most ridiculous monsters ever created. I also know that Godzilla looked like a puffy rubber muppet! And yes that goofy robot Jet Jaguar was the real star of this movie while Godzilla was his co-star. But you know what, I LOVED THIS MOVIE! It was my introduction to Godzilla back in day, and I have fond childhood memories of it. It's so bizarre (Jet Jaguar growing to be 160 feet tall in a blink of an eye) that's it's fun! It was more entertaining then that Hollywood Godzilla fiasco. Plus, I just wanted to reach through the TV and pinch Godzilla's chubby rubber cheeks! Only the crappy stock footage destruction scenes ruined it for me! And the bottom line is, like it or not..This is the most popular Godzilla movie of all time!!!! (At least here in the West)
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
An insult to the legacy of JAWS!!!
A shark stalking the Brody family because it wants revenge for it's murdered predecessor's? Great script idea! If that wasn't lame enough try some of the worst special effects ever seen. Jaws looks nothing more then an inflatable shark balloon! Like one of those kids pool toys! What the hell was the budget 15 dollars? And how about the horrible acting. Yeesh! Another disappointment was the fact that hardly anyone gets killed or eaten, save for SEAN BRODY and some woman on a banana boat. (And JAKE only in the original U.S ending). The ending was kinda of decent where Jaws gets bloodily impaled but then the ending gets re-cut (for TV,video and Europe) so Jaws suddenly explodes when punctured. UGH! What a mess. I pray HOLLYWOOD makes another Jaws movie, just to re-deem this once great movie monster!
Daikyojû Gappa (1967)
Not bad!
I thought this movie would suck when I first heard about, but after seeing it, it wasn't too bad! Something about two gigantic chicken monsters ravaging Tokyo at night just seems surreal enough to be fun. Plus, the Gappa's had really cool roars, sorta like a gurgling/scratching howling noise. Pretty unique! The baby was a bit to cutsey, but at least the movie features what we all want to see..LOTS OF DESTRUCTION. This was far more entertaining then most of the Godzilla movies from the 70's. To bad NIKKATSU went bankrupt because it would be great to see Gappa return to the big screen, all revamped with modern speacil effects. The only think I couldn't stand about this movie was that little annoying kid who kept saying.."GAPPA ANGRY! GAPPA ANGRY"
Gojira ni-sen mireniamu (1999)
BOR-ING !!
The only good things about this movie is...
A. It features the return of the "Real" Godzilla
B. This movie features the coolest looking Godzilla of all time. The way his spikes crackle with energy when he uses his fire, to his cool GREEN skin. Plus the update of his spikes, looking more jagged and impressive then ever before. In fact this costume is an update of that cool costume used in "King Kong VS Godzilla"
But despite this, this movie was a snoozer! At the beginning Godzilla fights a flying rock! Disappears for almost 40 minutes while boring human actors talk about DNA and computers. And concludes with Godzilla fighting a huge chunk of rubber that can barely move called Orga. Is it any wonder why this movie was ignored by audiences and the media alike when it was released here?
Godzilla (1998)
Uggghh!
What a piece of crap!! Ok, I didn't mind the "new look" of Godzilla. I just wish he was green instead of silver and was a bit more muscular. But overall he wasn't that bad looking. But it's the movie itself that stunk!! I think people were expecting Godzilla to destroy New York. Crush the Statue of Liberty, rip down powerlines, crush subway's, nuke buildings, and wipe out the military. In other words an exciting film. But NOOO..We get to see a giant chicken lizard who spends more time hiding, running away, and eating fish then doing any real damage.(He hardly uses his patented fire!!) Then in the second half of the movie we're treated to a swarm of raptor ripoffs (the babyzilla's) chasing Matthew Broderick and friends through MSG!Throw in horrible acting and you have yourself a joke of a movie. Any wonder that Devlin and Emmerich split up after this fiasco?
Kaijû sôshingeki (1968)
Not as fun as it used to be
When I first saw this movie as a child, it was if my boyhood fantasies came to life on the big screen. How can you not love a movie that features 11,THAT"S RIGHT 11 MONSTERS! But now watching this movie years later I realize that's it's not that great afterall. Surprisingly the actors get far more screen time then the monsters do and parts of this movie just drag on and on. Also VARAN and BARAGON two of the cooler monsters are barely in this.I didn't find this movie as entertaining as other GODZILLA films from the era. Oh well.
King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963)
Kong Is King!
I'm tired of listening to Godzilla geeks (er..fans) whine about the ending. Look, KING KONG is the superior monster plain and simple! Since Kong is the first of all the Giant monsters out there, it's only fitting that he wins the fight. He's like the Superman of the Giant monster world. The one who started it all. And yes he does win. When this film was released in 1962/63 Toho Studios said King Kong won in their press materials. As for Kong himself, unfortunately in this film he looks terrible. He was nothing more then an actor in a sweaty flea-bitten monkey costume staggering around drunk all the time with long crooked arms, a dopey face and a sagging chest and pot belly. Tsuburaya wanted a less threatening Kong but ended up embarrassing the mighty simian. Godzilla on the other hand, looked great, more dinosaur-like then ever before with monolith proportions to his body, a cool head and almost human like eyes. Hands down the best Godzilla suit design ever! The great climatic brawl was one for the ages. This movie was billed as the "Battle of The Centuries" and it lived up to the hype. The fight started at the foot of Mt. Fuji, went through Atami Village and ended up in the Pacific Ocean! Throw in a pretty cool night-time fight between King Kong and a giant octopus (Giant Devilfish) on Kong's Island, Godzilla trashing a train at night, Kong ripping through power lines, and climbing the Diet Building, and Godzilla trashing a Nato base in the Bering Sea, and you have a fun fast paced movie. I hope one day someone does a big budget remake of this.