pjochim Reviews

Till Death (I) (2021)

In the dead of winter no less

[3/10 · 31 October 2021]

The most glaring problem with this movie, right from the start is the acting, or should I say, the lack of it. Megan fox (Emma, the leading female character) is beautiful but her acting performance is stiff and shallow; I've never seen her in a film before but based on this showing I'd say she's a bit short of talent and charisma. Eoin Macken (Mark) her husband and the rest of the cast don't do much better---I see no stellar acting going on in this flick. Basically, this is what I call a "situation" movie; in this case its's one where most of the story revolves around a situation where Emma finds herself handcuffed to her husband's dead body and unable to free herself she spends a good deal of on-screen time just dragging him around. Mark had discovered his wife was having an affair and on their eleventh wedding anniversary he took Emma to their secluded lake house in the middle of winter, supposedly to celebrate but instead of celebrating he had a darker, more nefarious plan for her, a plan in which he would chain himself to her and then commit suicide, leaving his wife to die afterwards alongside him. This slow-moving scenario is tedious enough to watch but then to complicate things (and make a horror movie out of it), two men previously known to the couple show up at the house believing there are diamonds in the house safe and plan to steal them. So, there you have it, the basic elements of this story; a bad husband with malicious intent towards his wife, a cheating wife who ends up handcuffed to her dead husband, two thieves looking to steal diamonds from their lake house---and all of this is happening in the dead of winter---! Combine these elements together in a poorly written screen play with a lousy script and you have the makings for another waste-of-time movie. I give it a 3.5 rating.

The Nutty Professor (1996)

Mostly trash

[1/10 · 31 October 2021]

Why would anyone waste time and money to produce a movie like this-----anything bad you can say about a movie production you can say about this looser. I tried to watch but each additional minute I did was more embarrassing and excruciating than the previous one. A few reasonable descriptors would be as follows: inappropriate, ridiculous, sick, obnoxious, terrible, silly, stupid, insulting---just to name a few. I shan't go on with this review except to say that Eddie Murphy has a talent: too bad none of that gift is in evidence here. I give this gutter-rat film a 1.0.

Reprisal (I) (2018)

Goofy movie with no future

[2/10 · 29 October 2021]

Nothing and no one could have saved this pathetic film from self-destructing, not Bruce Willis, who is looking old and frail in his role in this movie and who I'm sure made a big mistake by accepting a part in this disaster. Nor any one of the former James Bond actors, no matter which one or how talented they might have been could have helped here either----. Not Roy Rogers, who is gone now but in times past would ride in at the last moment to save the day---, no, he could not have pulled this cinematic failure out of the fire even if he were around to have tried. And certainly not the so-called writers of this gut-wrenchingly bad story, screen play and script could accomplish a salvage feat---because if they could-of they would-of. No, no one it seems could do anything to save what I would call a work of un-art, a creation so simple minded and so badly produced that words alone fail to describe the mess. Beyond the good ones there are what we call bad movies and the really bad ones----somewhere in-between these extremes this flick will find its resting place. What I can say is this, it's a total waste of time to watch one moment of this film.

Live by Night (2016)

Won't live by Day or Night

[5/10 · 29 October 2021]

Here's a film that started out with reasonable promise but ended being a big disappointment. Some elements of the production, i.e., the cinematography and casting are ok, except that the actor selected to play the lead role of character Joe Coughlin (actor Ben Affleck, who also wrote and directed the screen play), wasn't a good choice. Affleck doesn't look the part of this "would-be" gangster nor does he do a good job of being convincing. To me he presented on-screen as a silly man and out of place. I've never been one of Affleck's fans, though I know many people are, at best I consider him a "B-grade" actor, one generally incapable of delivering convincing performances anytime in any role he plays. So, I am acknowledging my bias toward him to the point that it will affect my rating of this film. Unfortunately, I also feel Affleck's abilities as a writer and director are limited, a matter clearly evident here. This movie is little more than a long-running dark melodrama with some action scenes thrown in to spice things up; it's an uninteresting, dull and boring flick to watch.

The Cave (2005)

Nothing to see here

[3/10 · 28 October 2021]

Absolutely ridiculous film apparently made by a bunch of untalented idiots who have no clear idea what good film-making is about. This one is a total "nothing-burger "from beginning to end!! Ninety-eight % of the movie is dedicated to underwater film shots of deep divers swimming around with blinking flashlights looking at each other and the surrounding walls of underwater caverns. There is no acting going on here, no credible script or directing evident and of course, no viable screen play or story line. It appears to be casted with low-quality twenty-to-thirty year-old-would-be-actors who have no clue on how to deliver a line of script and can do little more than feign emotion by smirking with their "pretty boy and pretty girl" Hollywood faces in head shot after head shot. The movie goes on like this until about fifteen minutes from the end when winged bat-like monsters attack these deep cave divers resulting in the inevitable clash between men and monsters with the superhero men finally prevailing and coming out of the fights with barley any scratches. This flick is an example silliness epitomized on the big screen. It deserves a maximum of 10 minutes of ones' attention and no more----and it gets an amazingly high score of 3.0 from me.

The Machinist (2004)

Decent into Delusion

[8/10 · 16 August 2021]

Here's a strange, spooky and rather eerie movie that is reminiscent of a "Stephen King" flick with no indications half-way through what is going on---and did not give much until the very end. It's shot in black and white with occasional colorations of objects in some scenes--; "coloration" increases a little as the film plays on. The tense drama holds you as you try and figure out the plot. It's finally revealed that this guy has gone insane with guilt after having hit a little boy in a crosswalk and then driving away. All of his delusions come from him construction another reality where he can escape----then experiences a total distortion of what really is. It's basically a "horror" movie where a man punishes himself in an ongoing nightmare of events to atone for his actions. It's not a pleasant film to watch but given the genre, I consider it a well done production.