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Strange Events (2014)
Amateur Hour
I watched 20 minutes and had to turn off. The concepts are interesting but the application fails hard. An over-reliance on jump scares and harsh musical instrumentation mixed with bad acting and completely unbelievable actions-reactions from the characters was too much for me to handle.
The production values are good, but that's like praising the plates, knives and forks while eating a crap sandwich.
It seems all the good script writers and actors have retreated to their underground bunkers during Corona.
C'mon Gal, tell us again, were all in this together!
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Stick t' road
Oh wow. The most horrifying werewolf film you will ever see. The effects are absolutely brilliant even today. The audio? It sends chills up my spine every time I hear that howl and I have seen this film countless times since childhood. The nightmare sequences are chilling, the script is believable and its all acted with great skill.
I can't cross any moor without thinking of this film.
Jacob's Ladder (1990)
Whoa.... wait a minute Mr Postman
I love this film. It's a real film with real characters and real thought provoking situations that really scare. I watched it after seeing the abomination of the remake the other night. The film does an excellent job of making you feel like you're trapped in a nightmare.
Jacob's Ladder (2019)
:(
Please can we have a new film genre?
PC - Remakes.
Then we can use the saved time spent watching and all laugh at the average rating of such productions.
The Void (2016)
Elixir of Nonsense
Pure, unadulterated nonsense.
Nothing and I do mean nothing makes any sense in this film. Most films you expect to draw nearer to some sort of understanding or conclusion as the film goes on. Not this one. Expect higher and higher levels of nonsense all the way to the finish line. If you're looking for a good story - stay away. Do you get your kicks from blood, gore and totally needless profanity? This may be for you.
Crown Vic (2019)
My only problem with this?
Is that the older guy never congratulated him on completing his first day.
This film is outstandingly meticulous in its method of keeping the suspense going from the very first minute while delivering a narrative that asks some hard questions and delivers some hard truths, all done to near perfection in a very realistic manner. The acting was first class. The script is on point at all times and never waivers. The drama is never manipulative or drawn out. The film is very realistic in the sense of the commentary it offers on being a police officer in one of the biggest US cities. So much so, I'd swear a cop made this film. The actual events of the film are obviously a bit over the top for a rookies first day but that's how you cram in the very real issues cops can face into a few hours screenplay without boring the viewer!
The film is a massive hit with me and doesn't seem to be getting the credit it deserves.
Go with Me (2015)
Shocker
This had all the ingredients to be an exceptional film. What happened? Four amazing actors, a beautiful setting and what do we get? The worst script I have ever heard, ever.
I actually laughed out loud more than once and found myself staring at the screen with a look of complete bafflement on my face trying to understand what the directing was trying to achieve. One minute the film is deadly serious and very grim and the next is comedic buffoonery. There are many moments were you will be perplexed and not in a good or mysterious way.
The script is god awful - I can't say this enough. Hopkins comes across like Joe Biden on a bad day through no fault of his own. Screenplay is pretty dire too. Scene after scene after scene asking the same question of people. "Where's Blackway?" "Where's Blackway?" interspersed with poor fight scenes and cheesy, cliched girl tends to mans wounds.
In one scene Hopkins literally lets Blackway drive off only to accost someone else immediately and start asking them where's Blackway? It's ludicrous! The comedy duo act in the drug lab while the girl attempts to rescue a prisoner? The lackluster ending. Despite all this the film had a good atmosphere about it and could have been something very memorable.
I'm sorry but if this wasn't the very first time for both the script writer and director then they should just pack it up as they totally butchered this.
Under the Skin (2013)
Toxic Masculinity meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers
A huge dose of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
A deeply disturbing film that spreads subconscious propaganda of an ideological nature. It's a shame because the acting, scenery and production is top notch. It seems Hollywood, instead of backing off in the face of mass criticism regarding its divisive and hateful rhetoric wrapped inside lazy half baked films, has decided to ramp it up into full force subjective assault mode with all the bells and whistles this time.
Aliens from planet Patriarchy have come to Earth but need bodies to walk among humans. They acquire bodies by using female sexuality as a lure. A sure thing considering every single male character is only interested in a horizontal jog. Eventually a disfigured guy softens the aliens heart and she lets him go and goes on the run from the evil Pimp Lords of Planet Patriarchy who are relentlessly searching for her because you know.... Girls gotta be out on the the streets grafting (quite literally) skin.
You have to give some credit here for the sheer imagination and effort its taken to put the same old dross (anti-male propaganda) into yet another film.
BRAVO (claps sarcastically)
The Shasta Triangle (2019)
Juvenile
Who wrote this garbage? I thought child labour was illegal? The bit were they all turn up one after the other in separate cars is so bad it's hilarious. Women acting like teens, arguing and sniping constantly.
I was looking forward to a good sci-fi but instead I got mary & ashley olsen & friends go into the woods.
After We Leave (2019)
I saw potential
Somebody throw some money at the director and give him his shot. This suffered from weak story and non existent budget but I saw potential and obvious intelligence to make something out of nothing. The actors deserve credit also.
Cats (2019)
A movie that requires a tool kit
Eye mask - Check
Ear plugs - Check
Bath full of holy water - Check
1917 (2019)
Superficial
So now we rate movies on looks alone?
It might look authentic but everything that is happening is unrealistic. Want an example?
If you go covertly into enemy territory and find a bucket with still hot coals you DO NOT kick it over and make a noise that potentially announces your arrival.
I'm surprised all these ex military 10/10 reviews haven't pointed out more of this nonsense because the film is full of it.
Lore (2017)
No.
Just no!
I gave this a star because the premise and the start of the film isn't entirely bad. But it deteriorates as it goes on and the ending is probably the worst I have ever seen. There is no pay off for enduring this boring nonsense. Nothing is explained. No resolution. Just hocus pocus faux mystery. The acting isn't bad but the story is abysmal.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
What a crock!
Seriously they sent a hybrid robot/human to protect this new John Connor, she needs to be carried about like some severe diabetic case if she doesn't drink lots of water.
The action is utterly boring and you'll have seen it a million times before.
Linda Hamilton can no longer act!
Turned off at the alien terminator splitting into two alien terminators.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
Maximum Warp....Warp everything, Tradition, Values, Characters...
Captains log, USS Hubris NPC-SJW, star date 2020.
Following the cancellation of all creative talent in the galaxy, the Hubris, steered by its crew of hypocritical wealthy elites, has travelled to the inner rim of the Kurtzman Black Hole where it is causing maximum irritation and discomfort. Now it intends to travel back in time, defacing all that came before and creating a dark and depressing new reality.
Richard Jewell (2019)
Flawless filmmaking
This film makes you sad on so many levels but mostly sad for what the US government has become. Despite this, it's a film you do not want to miss. Clint Eastwood and Paul Walter Hauser deserve recognition.
A Dark Song (2016)
Hell Yeah
This is a thoroughly dark, suspenseful and intelligent horror film with a great ending and even has a message to boot.
Waterworld (1995)
The Concept is all this has
There is nothing but the interesting concept to enjoy in this film. It is very very poor. Resources should be scarce in a post apocalyptic world that has been covered by water yet you have air planes, jet skis and machine guns all being manned by people smoking cigarettes. But, show someone a tomato plant and they lose their heads! Is this film sponsored by a cigarette company? seriously! Even the totally cliched bad guy with eye patch and his gang are called smokers! Whoever wrote the plot was obviously smoking.
This should have been called Waterworld - Up in smoke
Game of Thrones (2011)
It's not just season 8
The decline started earlier than season 8 but would have been wholly forgivable, however the last season is the equivalent of using a holy book for toilet roll. You wouldn't do it, religious or not, because of respect! Respect for others as well as yourselves!
People who advocate for not watching S8 are completely justified. It is an abomination! I don't think there has ever been such a contrast between utterly brilliant TV and this puke. Somebody somewhere should be made to pay for this.
Shame (Ring, Ring) Shame (Ring, Ring)
The Ritual (2017)
NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF
I have not seen such a good horror film for years. Original and fresh story that is acted really well and the overall production is top notch.
It has a few plot holes, cliches (what film doesn't?) and yes the ending was slightly poor in comparison to 3/4ths of the movie. The difficulty in wrapping up a film like this is immense and most film producers wouldn't even attempt it so 1 star just for effort alone. Add to that the fact it wasn't even a bad ending - it concludes the character arc and explains the driving force of the 'thing' quite satisfactorily.
I recommend this authentic horror film.
World War Z (2013)
50/50
The most frightening zombies I have ever seen in film. I genuinely loved the first part of this movie. Then the story fails miserably and absurd situations and storyline. Completely unbelievable by the end.
Uncut Gems (2019)
AVOID
A nonsense half story, people speaking over each other, illogical actions and behaviour from the characters even though the film obviously attempts to be realistic and gritty. The acting is great however and worth a few stars.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Criminal
We need to protect our cultural art in the same way we protect areas of natural beauty from corporations who would bulldoze through it.
This isn't a Star Wars movie. Its a politically correct indoctrination program that seeks to erase the past so they can write the future.
Shame on all involved.
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
Dissapointed
70% of this film is a Mexican Soap Opera
20% 'Taken' reboot...
10% Gore
The first 70% is unforgivable in an action film. The duration is far too long and its obvious it was done to save money or cover up the fact they didn't have a story. Then the film turns into Taken 4.....only John Rambo has none of the intelligence and skills required to hunt down his daughters kidnappers. So he proceeds to get his ass handed to him but then is inexplicably set free?????
While the ending is the only good part even this is ruined by the ridiculous over the top gore. There's just no class these days and I wonder how long it will be before we See John Rambo eating parts of his enemies in Rambo : Just Desert.
It's the logical next step.
The Haunted (2018)
Stinker
Have you ever watched someone play an adventure/exploration game on a PC/Console? Watching them walk around picking up random objects and examining them for possible clues in order to progress? It's very boring as a viewer isn't it?!?
So why would someone think that would make a good film?
I burst out laughing when after pulling out random objects from drawers and table tops for what felt like an hour or more, the protagonist then goes again to a cupboard , music rises with the tension and then ....BLAM.... pulls out an extension plug!
Seriously the jump scares start a bit after this, and they keep using the dementia patient as a jump scare and....and oh my .... It's all so very bad.
its all just..... so bad.