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For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Roger Moore's Best Bond Film
For Your Eyes Only was the first of the 1980's Bond films. It was released in 1981 and was the first Bond film to be directed by John Glen, who had worked on previous Bond films.
The film, for me, marked a welcome return to the more realistic and back to basics Bond films, after the appalling OTT Moonraker. The plot revolves around Bond's hunt for a stolen submarine tracking device. I found the story easier to follow than some other Bond films, it was well-acted and the action scenes were very realistic, but spectacular. Moore was starting to look his age in this film, but he is a more grittier Bond in this film, which I liked. There are fewer gadgets, less silly humour and Bond has to use his wits more to survive in this film. I also thought that FYEO features some fantastic stunts and action sequences, notably the pre-credit scene, the snow chases and the mountain-climbing scene towards the end.
The supporting cast are also exceptional. Carole Bouquet is the Bond girl and I thought that she was stunningly beautiful. Julian Glover is the villain, though he doesn't have much to do. I also enjoyed the performance of Fiddler On The Roof star Topol, who I found very amusing as Bond's ally Columbo. Cassandra Harris, formerly Mrs Pierce Brosnan, also has a small part as another lady whom Bond seduces. Although a lot of people seem to have found Lynn-Holly Johnson annoying as Bibi Dahl, I found her to be quite amusing and endearing. She is the only Bond girl that he has ever turned down to date, though.
To sum up, I have always enjoyed FYEO and I think it is extremely entertaining and one of the most action-packed Bond films. I much prefer it to most of the other Roger Moore Bond films, with the exception of The Spy Who Loved Me. FYEO is the least silliest and more grounded of all of the Moore Bond films, which is why I have always liked it. I doubt that I will ever tire of watching it. I give it a solid 8 out of 10. The film was followed by Octopussy, which I also enjoy nearly as much as this. I recommend FYEO to any serious Bond fan, or fans of the earlier Bond films, to which this is very similar.
Moonraker (1979)
Roger Moore's Worst Bond Film
This film was originally released in 1979 and was Roger Moore's fourth Bond film.
I cannot think of words appropriate enough to describe this abomination to cinema. I have always regarded Moonraker as Moore's worst Bond film and one of the worst and certainly one of the silliest Bond films in total. This film was a blatant cash-in on the success of Star Wars in 1977 and shares that film's problem of being all spectacle and virtually no plot.
There are very few positive things that I can say about Moonraker. It features a lot of references, both visual and audio, to other, more superior films. All of these nods are cringe-worthy and do not work in the context of a Bond film. The special effects now look very dated, there is no decent eye candy and the film seems to go on for much longer than its 2 hour running time. Bond films are usually renowned for their spectacular stunts and action scenes, but even those seem lame in this film. I found the pre-credits skydiving scene enjoyable, though even that was ruined by the very noticeable and obvious stunt doubles. I also quite enjoyed the cable car fight but hated the action scenes that were set in space towards the end of the film. These outer space scenes were a step too far in my opinion, even by the Roger Moore standards.
So, to sum up, this really was one of the worst ever Bond films and still is to this day. Roger Moore really phoned in his performance in this film. It is easily the weakest of the Lewis Gilbert Bond films, in my opinion. Thank God that For Your Eyes Only followed this, to bring back the decent Bond films and make them more grounded again. They certainly couldn't get much worse than this...
I simply cannot recommend this film to anyone, other than dedicated Roger Moore fans or Bond completists. It will pass a couple of hours quite nicely, though, as long as you switch your brain off and don't think about the plot too much. I hate to be unkind to a Bond film, but I just cannot defend Moonraker at all. Thank God for the 80s Bonds...
Dr. No (1962)
The First Bond Film, But Hardly The Best...
This film was the first official Bond film to hit cinemas back in 1962. It kick-started Sean Connery's career, introduced the world to the cinematic James Bond and is, to many people, a truly iconic and important film...
Okay, let's get straight to the point. Dr No is not a great Bond film or even a great film in general. I know that a great deal of people have a special place in their hearts for this film and I respect that. However, modern audiences may hold an entirely different opinion of this film. I know that a lot of people may not agree with my opinion and that is their choice, but I still maintain that this film is nowhere near as good as most of the Bond films that were to follow.
There are some good points about Dr. No, though. Everyone knows about the "spider" scene and Ursula Andress looks great in that iconic white bikini. Sean Connery has also never looked cooler as Bond as he was in this film. The film also introduced audiences to the now instantly recognisable James Bond theme, which is first heard over the starting credits. It is also used several times throughout the film.
However, I think the negative points outweigh the positives. The film is now hopelessly dated and I think it has dated more than any other Bond film. The portrayal of the black characters can also, in some ways, be seen as stereotypical and even borderline racist. Bond's "fetch my shoes" line to Quarrel never fails to make me squirm with embarrassment. There are also very few action sequences and no stand-out set-pieces. I also believe that Dr. No, although worthy of a viewing, would not stand up to repeat viewings, as it is simply not entertaining enough. Even the Roger Moore Bond films are more entertaining than this and yes, I do include Moonraker.
As I mentioned, this was Connery's first Bond film and I know, to many people, he will always be the ultimate Bond. I do agree with that, up to a point. However, even he made some real stinkers as Bond. Goldfinger, in my opinion, is vastly over-rated and not much better than Dr. No in terms of entertainment value. Thunderball is too long and is the most boring Bond film, in my opinion, due to the long and slow underwater scenes. I am not even going to comment on the execrable Diamonds Are Forever...
So, to sum up, Dr. No is a film firmly of its time. I would imagine it had much greater impact when seen in cinemas for the first time back in 1962, but I just don't think it has stood the test of time very well. I would recommend a viewing for any serious Bond fan, but they will probably find that one viewing is enough. Connery made much better Bond films than this, so I would instead direct people to check out either From Russia With Love or You Only Live Twice. I find these films endlessly watchable. I give Dr. No four stars, because it was a ground-breaking film, but very far from the best of Bond.
From Russia with Love (1963)
The Best Of The Connery Bond Films
From Russia With Love was the second official Bond film, starring Sean Connery and was released in 1963. The film features the criminal organisation SPECTRE and its leader, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, for the first time in a Bond film. The plot revolves around a Lector Decoding Machine, which has been promised to the British Secret Service if James Bond can go and bring it back to the UK, with the help of a Russian Cipher operative. SPECTRE is, of course, behind the whole thing, for revenge on Bond for killing Dr. No in the previous film.
The cast is excellent for an early Bond film. Connery gives perhaps his most confident and assured performance as Bond. Newcomer Daniela Bianchi plays the Russian clerk who is supplying the machine and I have always thought she was very beautiful and perfectly cast. Seasoned actress Lotte Lenya plays head of SMERSH and agent for SPECTRE Rosa Klebbe and she portrays this part very effectively. There is an underlying hint of lesbianism in her character, which somehow managed to slip past the then very tight censors. British actor Robert Shaw, later to appear in Spielberg's Jaws in 1975, plays the main villain Donald "Red Grant" and I thought that he was one of the best early Bond villains. His character always carried an air of menace and his scenes are all excellent. Pedro Armendariz played Bond's ally in Turkey, Kerim Bey and his character carries great warmth and humour and I thought he had great chemistry with Sean Connery in their scenes together. The actor shot himself soon after this film was made, due to the fact that he had terminal cancer and didn't want to endure painful treatment for it. There are not a lot of action scenes in this film, but it does have some notable set-pieces, particularly the raid on the gypsy camp, the fight between Grant and Bond and the boat chase near to the end of the film. These are few, but they more than compensate for the lack of other, big action scenes.
I have always enjoyed the film and I regard it as Connery's best Bond and one of the best Bond films of the 1960s. It has some memorable characters and action scenes, the plot is involving and the film reeks class and quality. I much prefer this film to the vastly overrated Goldfinger and the only other 60s Bond film that matches this is Lazenby's OHMSS, though that was a tad too long.
I completely recommend From Russia With Love to any serious Bond fan, though modern audiences may find it a bit talky and slow. It is still a landmark Bond film, though and it always will be. It should be watched at least once by anyone interested in Bond, or fans of Connery's Bond films.
The Visit (2015)
One Of The Worst Films That I Have Ever Seen
I watched this film last night. It is the latest film from N. Night Shyamalan, who was previously responsible for the excellent The Sixth Sense and also Signs, which was another great film. The plot of The Visit concerns a young brother and sister, Becca and Tyler. Their mother decides to go on a cruise with her new boyfriend, so she sends the kids to stay with their grandparents, who they have never met and whom she has not seen for years. Soon after that, though, they notice strange things happening...
I thought that this film was very strange and extremely boring. Literally, nothing happens at all during the entire film, there is virtually no horror or tension and I found myself looking at the clock every few minutes, wishing for the film to end. The young female lead uses strange words and language that I just didn't understand, so I found it hard to follow the film and the young boy who played her brother kept doing stupid rap songs, which soon became very irritating. The acting was okay, especially from the grandparents, which is the only reason why I am giving this two stars. It is still an awful film, though, so how the hell this receives a rating of 6.2 on IMDb is totally beyond my comprehension. The Visit is proof that the once great Shyamalan has lost his way and should consider another profession, because he no longer seems capable of making a decent film. Mr Shyamalan, if you are reading this, you should be ashamed of yourself. I have seen better DTV films than this and how the hell it ever got a cinema release, I will never know. A total abomination on every level and the critics who praise this must have seen a totally different film. I give it two stars, but even that seems too generous. Feel free to disregard this review if you choose, but don't say that I didn't warn you.
The Rise of the Krays (2015)
Total Rubbish
I have always been interested in the Krays. I have read most of the books about them and I also enjoyed the 1990 film with the Kemp brothers, which was flawed and left a great deal of things out, but became a cult film. The Rise Of The Krays, however, makes the Kemp film look like a masterpiece in comparison. I only watched it for half an hour and I thought it was absolute rubbish. It featured violence just for the sake of it, no coherent plot, was obviously made on a shoestring and featured no actors that I had actually heard of before. To make matters even worse, the two actors playing the Krays didn't look like them at all! The comment on the cover of the DVD states that this is, apparently, "The Best British Gangster Film Ever", which is complete rubbish. This is, without doubt, the worst film I have seen for a long time and anyone who knows anything about the Krays' story would soon spot glaring mistakes. It is a blatant rip-off of the 1990 film and an obvious cash-in on the new Legend film starring Tom Hardy as the twins. He looks more like the Krays than the two jokers in this film. Honestly, just don't waste your time or money on this rubbish. If you want to know more about the Krays, then I suggest you read one of the books about them, which are infinitely more accurate and tell a fuller picture than this film. You will thank me for it, trust me. Even the 1990 film is better than this.
Carry on Doctor (1967)
One Of The Best Carry On Films
This was the second of the Carry On films set in a hospital and was released in 1967. It featured the first appearance in a Carry On film by the late, great Frankie Howerd and he is excellent here. He went on to appear in Carry On Up The Jungle in 1970. Most of the Carry On regulars appear here, though Charles Hawtrey is somewhat more subdued than normal. Kenneth Williams is also excellent as a smarmy doctor, as is Hattie Jacques as the matron and Anita Harris also appears as a nurse. It was rumoured that Jim Dale did some of his own stunts and he has a great set-piece here on a rooftop, as he hangs on for dear life. Sid James, who suffered a heart attack just before the film was due to start shooting, has less to do here, though and spends most of the film in bed. I did not enjoy Barbara Windsor in this film, though, but I could never tolerate her as an actress, she couldn't act for toffee and she only got parts in films because of her generous bosom. The film is funnier than some of the other Carry On films, though and it has always remained one of my favourites of the series. I watched it again recently and I still found myself laughing, even after all these years. I regard it as one of the best of the series and much better than most of their films to come during the 1970s. If you haven't already seen it, then watch it on TV or DVD. You won't regret it.
Carry on Camping (1969)
Very Dated But Watchable
I have always been a big fan of the Carry On films and I own all of them on DVD. Carry On Camping, however, is not one of my favourites and I watch it rarely now. Basically, your enjoyment of this film will depend on how much you like Barbara Windsor. Personally speaking, I detest her, she is only famous because of her boobs and I much prefer the Carry On films that she is not in. The ending of this film is also very dated, featuring a hippy band and makes me cringe now when I see it. The film is also primarily famous for the scene when Windsor's bra flies off during an exercise session and hits poor old Kenneth Williams in the face. I suspect this is why this film has a strong following, particularly among men. However, I do not regard it is one of the best Carry On films, though I appreciate that it is treasured by some fans. The film was also cut in several scenes by the British censor back in 1969 and these cuts have never been reinstated in any version that I have ever seen. This does not ruin the film, though and it is worth seeing, though I doubt that you will want to see it too often. This is not the worst film in the Carry On series, but it is a long way from the best too. It is a watchable but very dated film now and just not as funny as it once was.
Carry on Abroad (1972)
One Of The Weaker Carry On Films
This film was the one where the Carry On team go on a package holiday to the Elsbels resort. Needless to say, things don't go as planned...
This has always been one of the weaker Carry On films, in my opinion. The cast look bored, they don't have enough to do and it just isn't very funny. Barbara Windsor plays her usual slutty character and she is starting to look her age here. Peter Butterworth has a larger role than usual, though and I found him to be quite funny in this. The film was also the last Carry On appearance of Charles Hawtrey, who is frequently seen in the film with a bottle or a drink in his hand, which was perhaps a reference to his personal life. June Whitfield and Kenneth Connor both returned to the series in this film, after an absence of many years. Carol Hawkins and Sally Geeson (sister of Judy Geeson) provide the glamour. They also both appeared in the Bless This House film, released the same year and also starring Sid James. Carol would also later appear in Carry on Behind and Sally had a cameo in Carry On Girls. Scottish actor/comedian Jimmy Logan also provides the "comic relief" and plays the typical randy holidaymaker, who later forms a romantic relationship with Barbara Windsor's character. I had never heard of him before and, quite frankly, I found his character very overbearing and irritating and out of place. Most of the other series regulars appear, though Hattie Jacques has a smaller part as the hotel cook. TV actor Ray Brooks, who later starred in the 1980s TV series Big Deal, also appears as a randy waiter.
The film has a noticeable lack of jokes, relying too much on innuendo to carry the film. This would become more prevalent in the 1970s Carry On films. To sum up, this is not one of the funniest of the Carry On films and I would only recommend it to Carry On completists or fans of cheesy 1970s comedy. Definitely one of the less funnier entries in the series and I would only recommend this to Carry On completists.
Silent Night, Bloody Night: The Homecoming (2013)
Absolutely awful film
I agree with the other reviewer. I was also fooled by the favourable reviews on the DVD cover and the great-looking picture on the box. However, this turned out to be the equivalent of cinematic excrement. The plot doesn't make sense, the sound quality is abysmal and I have seen better acting in a pantomime. Believe me, this film makes the Friday The 13th franchise look like Citizen Kane. Don't waste your money on this film or your time by watching it. If you want to see a good Christmas-themed slasher movie, then check out Silent Night Deadly Night or the original Black Christmas. You will thank me later. This film is truly awful and only belongs in a bargain bin, but even that would be too kind a fate for this. Utter rubbish of the highest order.