SimianLogic Reviews

Zero Effect (1998)

A good idea...

[7/10 · 26 January 2005]

This movie seemed to fall flat in many places. It opened slow and never really picked up a lot of steam. That being said, the story is engaging and very well-written. The dialogue, though...I thought the dialogue was a little poor. Jake Kasdan might be better served finding a screen writing partner to jazz up the dialogue. Maybe I'm a little spoiled by Monk (which I realize came later), but I didn't find the main character all that endearing. Mostly his traits were just annoying and not fully conceived--for instance the weird scene with him playing the guitar...which never comes up again. Why add in that particular moment unless it's going to play a part later on? The camera-work was excellent, with lots of long steady-cam shots. One place where I thought the film shone was in its use of music. I usually don't even notice the soundtrack, but on this one it really stood out as being well-selected. Ben Stiller usually bugs the crap out of me, but his performance was restrained and I actually liked him a lot more than Bill Pullman's detective character.

7/10

Something's Gotta Give (2003)

Something to look forward to.

[8/10 · 13 December 2003]

As a Jack Nicholson fan, I was already looking forward to seeing this movie. I took my girlfriend (both of us are 20), and we were the only people there under 40. There may have been a few, but the audience was predominantly older. I think this is a terrible shame, because my girlfriend and I both loved it. It's kind of refreshing to see older couples portrayed romantically--gives us something to look forward to when we're that age. Besides, the chemistry between Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson is just fun to watch.

8/10

Kwaidan (1964)

Incredibly gorgeous, but lacking in substance.

[9/10 · 14 April 2002]

Masaki Kobayashi, the directors, was trained as a painter. This is very evident; many single frames in the film could be considered works of art and framed in a museum. The sheer beauty of the film is enough to make me like it, but I don't see this film appealing to many people. The stories are not very engaging, and in many cases seem static. While this fits in with the painting motif, it doesn't make for edge-of-your-seat fun.

The Deer Hunter (1978)

an HOUR of wedding

[5/10 · 12 April 2002]

I'll admit that the film makes a good point and is well shot and well acted and blah blah blah...but for the love of God, there's an HOUR of wedding. I don't even want to sit through an hour of a family member's wedding, much less a fake wedding.

The film picks up after the wedding (if you're still there) and is actually pretty entertaining. This is one movie that makes me glad DVD's are broken up into chapters.

5/10

the first hour is intolerable

Panic Room (2002)

Excellent, could have been better.

[8/10 · 29 March 2002]

I'm a huge fan of David Fincher, so there wasn't really any chance for this movie to suck. Objectively, however, I saw some places where the film could have been a little better. In the beginning of the film, the audience is treated with shots that are reminiscent of Kieslowski's Red, almost giving the impression of an omniscient narrator who can go literally anywhere he wants (into keyholes, through coffee pot handles, through floors, etc.). This is very cool stuff.

Once the action kicks in, however, all of this changes. Instead of gliding through the walls and maintaining the illusion that it could all be one steadily-flowing scene (not harsh breaks from one room or place to another, only intercutting within each locale), the narrator almost completely disappears.

The movie is still very entertaining, but I think it could have been much eerier if David Fincher had kept the illusion that all of this was unfolding in front of one observer.

8/10

Impostor (2001)

Hope the original version is on the DVD

[9/10 · 5 January 2002]

Most people don't know that Impostor was originally a forty-minute short, ballooned out because Miramax thought they could make more on it as a feature (especially since Minority Report, based on another Philip K. Dick short story, is being made). Having read and loved the short story, it's not hard to guess what parts were added in for time. I hope that when the DVD comes out we will be able to see the original 40-minute version as it was intended to be shown.

Many people have criticized the darkness of the film, but I thought it fit the story perfectly (besides hiding the low-budget sets). It's hard for me not to like a movie based on something written by Philip K. Dick, though, and I'll place it on my list of movies that I enjoy--but recognize as not very good films (right alongside Screamers and Total Recall).

Invincible (2001 TV Movie)

Captain Planet and Highlander shouldn't be mixed.

[3/10 · 2 December 2001]

I expected much more from producers Mel Gibson and Jet Li. Each of them should know enough about movies to avoid the stinkers, and Invincible is definitely a stinker. The plot seems to be a weird mish-mash of Captain Planet and the Planeteers and Highlander, but isn't as entertaining as either one (and Captain Planet isn't very entertaining to begin with). Billy Zane, who I'm pretty sure has some talent, is wasted. Establishing his "evil" persona in the first minute does his character harm. We would have been better off with a five or ten minute intro to better establish the history of the shadowmen and especially Zane's part in that history. The fight scenes were pathetic. I've seen better choreography in a high school production of Romeo & Juliet. Sure it may look flashy, but this is only because of camera manipulation. Good fight choreography uses as little editing as possible, while Invincible's fights are so jumpy that it is impossible to tell what's really going on--other than the good guys beating up the bad guys.

Poor. Very Poor.

The Others (2001)

Well Crafted Ghost Story

[9/10 · 10 August 2001]

There's not much that can be said about this film that won't give away the "surprise" ending. I figured it out about fifteen minutes in, but this didn't detract in any way from the enjoyability of the rest. If you figure things out, you gain a different perspective on how to watch the movie that makes it all the more enjoyable. I enjoyed the music (and often the silence), which added to the creepy mood of the film. The lighting was very strictly controlled, which also gave a feel of something otherworldly. This isn't as fast-paced as most of what Hollywood considers horror films (things jumping out of closets and chasing you with knives), but this is no great loss. True horror can only come when it's built up slowly and believably. The Others achieves this in several places. If you liked the Sixth Sense, you will probably enjoy this film a lot.

Original Sin (2001)

Give me my sin again...

[9/10 · 6 August 2001]

As the title implies, Original Sin is full of deceptions. Though many of the plot twists are predictable, the films is beautifully shot and well acted. I especially enjoyed the frequent panoramic shots, displaying Cuba as it might have been. If it was ever as idyllic as shown is not for me to know, but I was satisfied with the scenery I was presented by the screen. Jolie is beautiful as usual, and she plays well with Antonio Banderas. While the story starts kind of slow, there is enough foreshadowing to keep an observant viewer happy. There is a lot of sexual content, and I fear many people will let their puritanical nature prejudice them towards the rest of the film because of it. I wasn't bothered. The acts performed by Jolie's character are extremely atypical for a supposedly innocent "lady", but they would only be gratuitous if they were not within the bounds of her character--which has no bounds. The powerful emotional outbursts which occur never seem forced, showing perhaps Baderas' and Jolie's skill at the craft. I can't wait to see it a second time to see what I missed the first.

Along Came a Spider (2001)

Morgan Freeman shines, but can't save a bad movie.

[5/10 · 6 April 2001]

I have always been a huge fan of Morgan Freeman, and I feel that he did quite well in this movie. His always-calm demeanor is amazing to watch on the screen. I feel, however, that the plot to Along Came a Spider sucked--to put it bluntly. I don't want to give anything away, but I've always felt that major plot-twists and character-changes should be grounded on what has already been established in the film. Certain changes of that type were made that had no basis from the rest of the film and no way to figure out in advance what was going on. That isn't the sign of great film-making, it's the sign of convenient, lazy film-making. I recognize that most movie-goers love to be surprised and shocked (as was my companion) and that this film will entertain most people. For those of you who consider yourselves more educated movie-goers, however, I'd recommend skipping this one.

Hannibal (2001)

goody goody

[8/10 · 9 February 2001]

It is now Friday, February 9th, 2001. Nearly 24 hours ago, I pushed the director's cut (technically not yet released, but I have friends at Blockbuster)of Manhunter into my V.C.R. for the first time. I sat and watched, enthralled. Afterwards, I put in Silence of the Lambs for what may be the 100th time. I sat and watched, enthralled. Friday rolled around. As soon as I could get away, I anxiously drove to the theater and purchased my ticket. I sat and watched, enthralled. Hannibal, while almost completely different in tone than its two predecessors, is absolutely brilliant. Some of the gore is over the top, but it is important for viewers to see that Hannibal Lecter, M.D. doesn't shy away or flinch at all in the face of what general morality says we should revile. The dialogue and music were excellent. There was only one thing that I think could have been improved upon: the man-eating hogs could've been developed more. If you aren't squeamish, I recommend seeing Hannibal at once.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Breathtaking.

[8/10 · 28 January 2001]

Before I saw the film, I saw an interview with director Ang Lee. In the interview, he talked about how he wanted all of the fight scenes, and especially the one in the trees, to be real--instead of computer generated--because computers couldn't duplicate the effects of wind on individual leaves and the gentle sway of the trees. From that comment I knew I would love the film, and I wasn't disappointed in the theater. The flashback seemed a little out of place, but overall I think it helped the emotional impact. I highly recommend this film to anyone who is patient enough to read the subtitles, which in my opinion add to the mysterious quality of the movie more than any dubbing will ever do.

Red Planet (1994– )

Got me hooked on Science Fiction

[9/10 · 4 November 2000]

I was always a big fan of Saturday morning cartoons, any genre. My favorites were always Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or whatever shows based on comic books were currently running. When I was in the sixth grade, Red Planet came out. I liked the miniseries so much that I bought the book, which was written towards children of my age. I loved it. It wasn't the same as the miniseries, but they came close enough in imaginative scope. I think Heinlein would've been proud. Since then I've become an avid Heinlein and sci/fi fan. The film not only inspired me to read more, but it also inspired me to dabble in my own authorship. The worth of my stories has yet to be proved, but the therapeutic value is unmatched by anything else. I've seen the film again, after having read the book, and it is still amazing. This film is targeted at children, and is perhaps the best kid's movie I've ever seen.

Beowulf (1999)

A great B sci-fi/action flick

[9/10 · 22 October 2000]

I love these b genre movies. I won't give them a ten, since they do lack something on the artistic side, but they're great to watch. Sword fights, acrobatics, bare-chested women...everything needed for a good b movie. Add in a semi-literary plot (the name Grendel is only mentioned once) and a few references to the poem. I liked the misty halls and how the siege camp's fires extended off into the distance--can you say dragon? I give it a 9.

Lost Souls (2000)

Great until the last two minutes

[9/10 · 15 October 2000]

I loved the camera angles and the spooky special effects. Winona Ryder plays the same part she always does, but this is the type of character that was needed for the film. There were a few bad lines, but overall it was great...until the last two minutes. It seemed more like they ran out of money or time or special effects, and just decided to end the movie early. Boo.

The Watcher (I) (2000)

An unexpectedly good movie.

[6/10 · 9 September 2000]

When I heard Keanu Reeves was going to be playing a character with depth, I groaned. His previous roles have all been notoriously similar, and he's never shaken the Bill & Ted image. I was unprepared for good acting on his part. Most of his more recent sci-fi roles he has succeeded in because of his image--he just fits it perfectly--and this may also be the case for serial killers. Keanu Reeves' and James Spader's characters both advanced through the story, and there were several wonderful lines. I wasn't fond of the credits, but I like any movie that opens up its action with a Rob Zombie song.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

I can still here the Sorceror's Apprentice playing in my head...

[8/10 · 13 August 2000]

I'm technically not old enough to have even seen that movie (as of writing this), but I'm glad I did. Not for the sex, etc. that most people seem to believe is all a teenager cares about, but for the vivid quality of the film. Up until the end, it seemed like any other 60's movie--drugs, rock&roll, partying, sex, etc...but the end I was wholly unprepared for. It is one of the greatest twists I've ever witnessed, and instantly skyrocketed the movie to one of my favorites. The character Z-man (John Lazar) was absolutely terrific.

Gladiator (2000)

Absolutely amazing.

[9/10 · 12 August 2000]

Many of my friends and I (who at our local high school are probably considered the nerdy group--and couldn't care less) anticipated this movie since the first time we heard of it. One of my friends, who styles himself as a Roman history buff, was sure that the movie would stretch the truth in favor of entertainment value. Sure he would grumble the whole movie, the rest of us drew straws as to which would have to sit next to him opening night, and it was of course me. He grumbled all the way there, but once the movie started, he was silent the whole time. He found stuff he could nitpick after it was over, but while the movie was rolling he was in as much a state of awe as the rest of us. This is undoubtedly one of the best movies I have ever seen, enough so that I saw it three times in theatre. I seldom see movies multiple times, exceptions being Jurassic Park(4 times), Independence Day (2 times), and the Matrix (2 times). I usually love science fiction movies beyond all others, but I can say I enjoyed this movie more than any sci-fi blockbuster I've ever been too.

Jaws (1975)

Still scares me after dozens of viewings.

[10/10 · 12 August 2000]

This movie was made before I was even born, but it holds the title of being my all-time favorite movie. I've seen it too many times too count, and after every viewing I feel the same way as I did the first time--slightly nervous about going swimming any time soon. I know the movie almost by heart, yet there are certain parts in it which scare me every time (the best example being the scene where Richard Dreyfuss is investigating the sunken ship). The feeling of suspense throughout the movie is unparalleled by any other horror movie I've ever seen, and it will no doubt remain my favorite for all time.