elwyn5150 Reviews

The UFO Conclusion (2016)

They've come to their conclusion and now it's time for you to come there too

[3/10 · 14 March 2019]

If you are watching this, you probably believe in ET visitation. If you don't, there's a slim chance this will convince you.

There's an awful trend of people expecting others to believe something just because they say so and without providing an actual evidence. Most of this video is just that.

The segment with crop circle expert Patty Greer is particularly awful. She claims that crop circles are messages from the planet itself and that they are in binary. She never shows an example of how to convert an image into binary then into a human language. We can't examine or recreate her examples. She says it so we are expected to believe it.

Oh. For no good reason, they insert lots of footage from some ultra-low-budget sci-fi film because the film fits in with their narrative of an alien agenda. It's not actual proof or anything.

Paranormal Calamity (2010)

It's very awful

[2/10 · 31 October 2012]

This is the worst movie I've seen in awhile. There is very little positive to say about it and it fails on every level.

The story and characters were awful. I just never got why the protagonist stayed in the relationship even when he tells his ghost lover that the reason he stays is to be with her (the ghost lover).

The only laughs I had were a couple of entendres over the ridiculously named doctor and the protagonist ending up sleeping with his mother-in- law.

It doesn't even work as a soft porn film. Nudity is all too brief. This should have been easy to achieve in - just find actors and actresses willing to strip down.

I strongly suspect that even that Golden Raspberry winning film with Bo Derek/John Derek "Ghosts Can't Do It" would be better to watch.

Brainscan (1994)

Shockingly uninspired

[3/10 · 30 August 2002]

I saw this last night on late night TV.

I thought this was quite uninspired and predictable. I can't believe people are giving positive reviews here.

It was pretty obvious that the kid would realise that it was real. It was pretty obvious that Kimberly would end up being a target because her character has no real role in the film - they probably should have expanded her role so she wasn't merely a lust object and target.

What can I say about the ending except groan?

Pensacola: Wings of Gold (1997–2000)

Pretty bad

[23 August 2001]

This show was pretty bad but watchable and relegated to late Saturday night with another awful American television program: "Walker: Texas Ranger".

Watch out for that nasty American moralising and cheesing happy endings where it wouldn't happen in real life.

Kiss of Death (1995)

A kiss of death to his career

[3 June 2001]

I didn't bother watching this beyond the half-way mark. It was a sure boring stinker.

It's cute how they take the first boring half to establish Caruso's character as a man who loves his family. They should have gone straight to the interesting: after he got out.

Caruso's career got the kiss of death after this one! Hah hah!

Memento (2000)

Good, original, overrated

[1/10 · 3 May 2001]

Momento is a good movie. Great it is not.

The telling of the story backwards can be described as a great style - maybe even a renaissance of storytelling. It's also a gimmick that the film totally depends on.

In the middle of the film, it gets tedious with remember everything that has happened. Who's the drug dealers? Who's connected with who? The backstory of Leonard's work became more interesting than the current story.

I thought the unravelling of the evidence should have been more interesting. It wasn't.

Did the tedious memory game distract everyone from asking why an alleged murderer was befriending the victim's husband?

The plotline of the film is a bore if you could watch it in proper sequence. However, some of this weakness is made up for the paranoid aspect as we empathize with Leonard.

Bad Moon (1996)

Could have been a lot better.

[5/10 · 30 January 2001]

(spoilers)

This film had some interesting ideas such as the protective family dog and the brother's search for recovery through his family.

The dog was cool and that scene where Thor gets taken away to the pound was *really* sad... then later the film gets cutesy and the dog wasn't put down afterall, the boy rescues it and the dog rescues the family.

I liked how the sister wasn't a standard horror film female: she was neither screamer or tank-top heroine. She was intelligent and everyday.

I felt really let down near the end by the characterisation of the brother. I felt like there was a huge and sudden transition from the anguished cure-searching self-restraining man to the guy who calls his sister a "b**ch" and doesn't take the effort to cuff himself anymore. In the end, he's not a nice guy anymore - that justifies how it's okay for him to die - that justifies how there can be a big fight scene. I would have thought it would be better drama if he asked him sister to put him down.

Other areas where it was terrible was the special effects. When you have special effects that mediocre, the director will usually take the effort to use more shadows and the "more is less" technique.

In some ways, this film reminded me of "Alien" (eg where there's drooling before the victim gets killed and the sensitive animal).

Meet Joe Black (1998)

I felt like I was the one dying!

[1/10 · 24 January 2001]

My friend's housemate, a fan of Brad Pitt, suggested this film when we were at the video store. We decided to give it a go.

This is one of those films where editing was desperately needed. I think they should have cut off at least an hour of the three hours. It was so long and dull, I felt like I was the one dying! Some films are "slow burn" such as "The Sixth Sense" but they really hold your attention and it works out well. This was not such a film - you could come back half an hour later and the candle would still be burning. In the end, every possible permutation of saying goodbye is done.

It was also terribly predictable and convenient at parts. eg. (semi-spoiler) The boyfriend turns to ex-boyfriend to the Satan of the film to try to give it some extra depth.

On a positive note, there was nothing wrong with the acting but it was a waste of Anthony Hopkins.

Still, 1/10

Air Force One (1997)

You've seen it all before

[4/10 · 2 October 2000]

You've seen it all before if you've watched any of the Under Siege movies, it's just that this time it's set on Air Force One and the hero is Harrison Ford.

This film is an unfortunate waste of Ford's and many other actors' talents.

Men in Black (1997)

A mediocre plotline with good special effects

[5/10 · 22 March 2000]

The 90s saw the emergence of excellent computer generated images being used in movies. Sadly the advances here, rarely went hand-in-hand with better stories and plotlines. Thus each year, dozens of films with awesome special effects accompany scripts that are exceptionally unsatisfying.

"MIB" is one such film and I haven't bothered seeing it again and probably won't. It even made me decide to avoid going to the cinema to see Science Fiction; I am never seeing another Will Smith star-vehicle movie again. I've realised he has no talent.

I strongly believe that computer technology is great for film. However, we're still finding ourselves more likely to be subjected to stuff like "MIB" than quality stories and endearing characterisations such as in "Toy Story" or quality black-comedy scifi like "Starship Troopers".

Mission: Impossible (1996)

Star vehicle only - what's the point?

[1/10 · 6 March 2000]

I used to watch the 80s series remake of "Mission Impossible" and feel this movie is largely "Mission Impossible" in title only.

It's really just a big star vehicle and money-making enterprise for Tom Cruise.

Sure, it's an entertaining mindless romp that will keep your brain happily in neutral for a few hours and that may be all you're after.

The revelation of who is the true villain will anger some fans such as myself.

It really wasn't anything like the 80s "Mission Impossible" I remember. What about the comraderie between characters? What about the team effort thing? These things are missing because it's Tom Cruise Vs the rest of the world.

The best thing about the film is Larry Mullen Jnr and Adam Clayton from U2 being on the soundtrack.

The Shadow Men (1997)

A predictable cliche but it's okay overall

[5/10 · 3 March 2000]

This film seems to be an attempt to give a more "realistic" portrayal of alien encounters and Men In Black (well I say "realistic" because the proof is still lacking).

It certainly targets to people (such as myself) who have a strong interest in UFOlogy, aliens, MIBs, the real X files etc.

It's not a bad film but not a great film. It's rather predictable throughout because it has all the cliches that we've learnt from the X Files and tv shows about aliens abductions.

It is not a bad movie to watch if you are reading a book, playing the guitar or doing something else while it's on.

The ending pleasantly and enjoyably excessive but I guess a film needs some sort of closure.

There was a lot of talent that was wasted on this film. Both Dean Stockwell and Sherilyn Fenn have made much better films.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Overrated, slow, a waste of time

[1/10 · 3 March 2000]

I watched this film because it was recommended by a friend.

I found it to be very overrated. The start of the film was so extremely slow that I wanted to just give up. Things do pick up near the end but the ending is extremely contrived.

A disappointmenting waste of time.

1/10

Jury Duty (1995)

Truly awful - a disgusting parody of "12 Angry Men"

[1/10 · 3 March 2000]

I've heard about how awful Pauly Shore's humour is. This film easily and quickly confirmed that.

This film is a horrible parody of a great film, "12 Angry Men". It disgusted me to see such a great film treated so.

You are better off steering clear of this film. If you are interested in a quality drama, just watch "12 Angry Men"; if you want a good laugh, make sure Pauly Shore is not in it.

Street Fighter (1994)

I felt physically ill - It's a disposable film that should be disposed.

[4/10 · 3 March 2000]

It's a watchable action film, even if it is a mediocre and painful one at that.

When they base a movie on a computer game or some lame action figure, you know they are making it just for money and you can bet that the quality of plot and acting is going to be substandard. It was.

This is one of those films where Bart Simpson's comments on Van Damme rings true: "Want results? You have to go to the Schwarzeneggers, the Stallones, and to a lesser extent, the Van Dammes."

I've seen and enjoyed many excessively violent films featuring actors such as Stallone and Schwarzeneggers. However one of the things that I found utterly appalling in this film was the graphic nature of how many people have their necks broken. That awful sound made me physically ill because someone was dying that way every five minutes. It was just disturbing to see this being portrayed and know kids at home are watching and don't need muscle-bound strength to copy it.

It's a disposable film that should be disposed.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Impressive and influential

[9/10 · 29 February 2000]

I gave this film 9/10. I'm not a big fan of horror but I found myself greatly impressed with this film.

As I watched this film the other night, I saw how it (or the series) has made such a great influence on pop culture whether it is from The Simpson's Halloween episodes to the computer game Doom to the self-service carry-lots of collecting weapons in "The Matrix".