candigrrl Reviews

Callas Forever (2002)

Gloria Swanson would be proud

[2/10 · 10 September 2004]

I have one question. What exactly did Maria Callas do to the people that made this film? Whatever it was, it must have been pretty bad for them to feel the need to get this horrible revenge. Horrible it is, all the way through.

I get the feeling this could turn into a cult classic. It's true that in parts, it's very very funny. Fanny Ardant plays ze great Kah Lass as a campy Gloria-Swanson-in-Sunset-Boulevard creation. She'll shriek at the drop of a hat and stamp around as if her life depended on it. Listen, don't get me wrong. I like Fanny Ardant. She's a very talented actress, as she has demonstrated in films such as Ridicule, Vivement dimanche!, 8 femmes... but here her performance is absolutely awful. Nostril-flaring, eye-widening, hissy-fitting horror.

Jeremy Irons doesn't have much to do as Callas's manager. Mainly he just follows Maria around, trying to convince her to do things, and then he has a "Oh, yes, don't forget I'm gay" scene every so often. Beautiful. And Joan Plowright is actually quite funny. You get the impression that she's always a beat away from rolling her eyes.

Listen, though. If you like Maria Callas, don't see this film. Please don't. It makes her out to be some sort of caricature, and it's actually quite insulting. If you don't mind either way, well, see it? Why not? It's diverting, at least. And if you get bored with the storyline, you can just pick out movie errors. My favourite: Callas out in her car, driving in endless circles...

Showgirls (1995)

Read between the lines!

[14 November 2001]

I read through a few of these reviews and the general analysis seemed to be that this movie sucks more than the lead character does in the back room of the Cheetah Club. Well, I guess if you take it at face value, it does.

However, it's not meant to be taken that way (internally, with a glass of water?), and it's a shame that so many people did. Really, 'Showgirls' is a campy, funny movie. It's a riot. And it's supposed to be.

Elizabeth Berkley, in the lead role, plays her part like an actress on one of those day-time soaps - which is probably exactly what Verhoeven wanted. She does everything dramatically. She sits down, dramatically; she takes off her jacket, dramatically; and if you watch closely enough you'll even see her eating fries dramatically.

Gina Gershon as femme fatale/lead dancer Cristal gives the best performance of the film. She obviously is in sync with the director and has a lot of fun with the part, and if you only watch it for one reason, watch it for her. Because, in the words of L'Oreal, she's worth it. She's a great talent and it's a shame she's not recognised more widely.

Would I recommend it? I don't know. It depends on your taste. If you're looking for a drama, go elsewhere. If you're looking for a quirky, funny movie, and you don't mind lots of naked ladies running around all over the place (yes, even if you're female - I am, and I liked it), go rent it. It might surprise you.

The Mexican (2001)

Why am I the only one who liked it?

[10/10 · 9 July 2001]

Okay, I admit it. I'm a Julia fan. But before I saw this movie I'd heard so much about it being terrible that I had incredibly low expectations - so I guess I was going in to see it from a different angle to most people.

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. I actually saw 'Mouse Hunt' or whatever it's called once on TV, didn't think too much of it, and I was hoping that 'The Mexican' would be different. Luckily, it was.

Brad Pitt gives a sweet performance as Jerry, the accident prone hero, but the best part of the movie is the chemistry between Julia Roberts as Sam and James Gandolfini as Leroy - an unlikely relationship between a kidnapper and a kidnappee (is that a word?).

I'd advise people to see this movie with an open mind. If you expect miracles you'll probably be disappointed. But I actually did really like it.

Oh, and it made me cry. Four times. How embarrassing is that? Maybe I'm getting my period or something.

Scream 3 (2000)

Overall, an okay movie

[9 May 2001]

When I went to see 'Scream 3', I was expecting something along the lines of the first two Screams - witty, sharp, and filled with dry humour. Although not quite up to the standard of these two, 'Scream 3' is pleasantly diverting.

Let's start with the acting. David Arquette gives the same performance he gave in the first two movies - the same facial expression all the way through, delivered in a style that's probably supposed to be sweet and endearing, but actually makes you want to throttle him. Never mind. Courteney Cox Arquette proves once again that she is a fine actress, but that could get lost for you if you happen to be concentrating on her hairstyle! Neve Campbell is pleasant and sweet as the unfortunate Sidney; Jenny McCarthy is hilarious as Sarah; and Parker Posey steals the entire film as Judy, or Gale mark 2.

The storyline ties everything up pretty nicely. We're given reasons as to why the two previous Screams occurred, and everything is ended fairly neatly. To make a 'Scream 4' would just be a travesty now! If you liked the first two movies, you should see this. If you haven't seen them - see them first.

Scorned (1993)

What can I say?

[15 June 2000]

This film made me laugh, and it made me cry. But the only reason I cried was because I cried laughing at it. There doesn't seem to be much of a story-line; the evil Amanda (or "the blonde one" as she shall from now on be referred to) decides to bump off an annoyingly perfect all-American family - and good luck to her I say!

The soundtrack looms overpoweringly over most of the film, drowning out a lot of the dialogue, which is probably a good thing. The movie adheres to all of the basic rules ie the heroine must investigate every strange noise in the house with no lights on, wearing her most revealing underwear.

As a suspense film, this sucks. As a comedy, it's actually quite good. The way the blonde one keeps popping up all over the place, creeping out of the shadows just to proffer cups of tea is nothing short of hilarious.

It's definitely one to watch. You'll have the time of your life just making fun of it!

Erin Brockovich (2000)

A great film

[7/10 · 6 May 2000]

This film is a lot like the Spice Girls. No, I don't mean ridiculous and contrived; you either love it or you hate it. And judging by the reactions of audiences all over the world, most of them love it.

Okay, so I'm a fan of Julia's. But I went into this movie with an open mind and no expectations. I have to say, out of all the films that Miss Roberts has made, this one is the one that really gives her a chance to flex her "acting muscle".

A strong supporting cast helped this movie along, and Steven Soderburgh's direction made this film a cut above the average. I would give it a ten.