beni hill Reviews

The War Zone (1999)

Like a British version of The Waltons

[2 June 2000]

Oh what fun this movie is. It recounts the adventures of a present day English family who have just moved from the big smoke (London) to the idyllic countryside of Devon. We get to see all the jolly japes the various members of the family get up to. The father (Ray Winstone) is a loveable rogue who wouldn't harm a fly.

This movie reminds me of the UK TV series The Darling Buds of May in it's celebration of a mythical golden age in the English countryside, except this does not feature Catherine Zeta Jones. The War Zone is an enjoyable feelgood movie for all the family.

I do like IMDB's "If you like this title, we also recommend... The Railway Children". Brilliant suggestion there, IMDB. These two would make a great double bill for a pleasant evening's viewing. Both are about the escapades of kids in the English countryside but, for some reason, The Railway Children does not include a scene which shows a father sodomizing his daughter.

The Bill (1984–2010)

Wots all this then?

[20 January 2000]

Oh dear, oh dear. The Bill used to be a straight down the line police procedural drama. Lately it's turned into a soap. Dave Quinnan getting married in "the first ever Bill wedding?" - do me a favour. It was good to see Loxton and Garfield again but that episode was the worst ever. When they went back to the one hour format in 1999 the first few stories were sharp but now they've begun to lose the plot. I know it has to be paced when it's a one hour show but recent episodes have struggled to fill the hour - nowhere near as tight as it used to be. The upside is that Frank Burnside is making more regular appearances. For me the best years were 1987-92. Move along, now - nothing more to see here.

The Matrix (1999)

Tolerable

[19 January 2000]

I saw the Matrix when it was released on the cinema. I hadn't heard any raves before I saw it - I went to see it on account of generally liking sci-fi type stuff. You check your disbelief in at the door for this type of movie so, given that, the basic premise of The Matrix was interesting. Also, the slo-mo visual effects were good. However, the plot was corny, one cliche after another. Maybe I've just seen too many movies of this type or maybe I'm too old and jaded for this stuff at 27. The Matrix is presumably a hit with the teen market.

Gormenghast (2000)

First Episode of Gormenghast

[10/10 · 18 January 2000]

Gormenghast is a TV adptation of the Gormenghast books which were written in the 1940's by Mervyn Peake. The books are not widely known (compared to Tolkein, say) but seem to be adored by almost everyone who has read them. It's a kind of Gothic fantasy - Dickens meets Edgar Allen Poe in a BIG castle. Note that there's none of your sword and sorcery type stuff involved - no wizards, elves or dragons. The TV version is by the BBC and reportedly cost about $8 million. It is composed of four 1 hour episodes, transmitting on UK TV from 17th Jan to 7th Feb 2000. At the time of writing the first episode has aired and is good and bad. The characterisation and sets are good but, in my opinion, the whole thing is TOO BRIGHT. Everything is so bright and shiny it looks like childrens TV. The books are dark in tone and filled with shadows. Still, there are 3 episodes to go so I'll say no more for now.