To the people that ask "Where was her family"?, you have no idea what it is like to have a mentally ill person you love refuse to get help & take meds. No idea. You can't help them, no matter how much you want to. This movie is a perfect example of that. Heartbreaking.
40 Reviews
Very sad. Well done documentary
kennprop3 November 2018
Warning: Spoilers
A very sad true story. A mentally ill women is
found dead in an abandoned house in NH. A journal she kept covers the last months of her life.
Her background and family are presented. Her spiral down into the mental health system, court hearing, and homelessness is covered. The main bad decision at her guardianship hearing-
making her responsible for her own medicating. With that ,the judge doomed her. Her family was left out of the loop and she was released to a homeless existence ending in death by starvation. The photography and narration, family and professional testimony are very well done. The subject of this story is very compelling and it
shows what can happen in the American nightmare of our care system.
Secret stories
BandSAboutMovies20 November 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I always think about the people that walk past me every day. What are their secret stories? Where will life take them? Where do they go? When I pass a house on a country road, I wonder about the paths of the people who have crossed through its doors. I wonder about the lives that lived in the house where I now make my home and the people who will live here after I am gone. God Knows Where I Am is about one such house and the life and death of one lost woman.
In an abandoned New Hampshire farmhouse, the police find a homeless woman's body. Yet to it, an officer discovers two notebooks that form a diary of starvation, mental illness, devotion and a life that has fallen through the cracks of the system we've set up in this country.
Linda Bishop suffered from mental illness for most of her life. The last four months of her existence was spent living in this house, waiting for God and her mystery lover Steve to rescue her as she survived on apples, rainwater and snow during a record-setting winter.
God Knows Where I Am is told in her own words, read by Lori Singer (Footloose, Short Cuts). Her family members, doctors, a judge and police officers also offer their perspective on her life and death.
Linda was well-educated. A mother. And someone dealing with a severe bipolar disorder with psychosis. She had been committed for three years to a state facility, convinced that the Chinese mafia was attempted to murder her and that she was in the midst of a conspiracy narrative. She successfully fought for her unconditional release and to not be under her sister's protective custody, believing that she too was part of the forces that had amassed against her.
I'm not going to tell you that this is a fun watch. You watch a woman slowly die as she hides in a house, afraid to walk across the street where other people live. With proper care, she may have lived a longer and more full life. Or perhaps this was the way that she was meant to die, on her own terms. The film makes no judgments.
In an abandoned New Hampshire farmhouse, the police find a homeless woman's body. Yet to it, an officer discovers two notebooks that form a diary of starvation, mental illness, devotion and a life that has fallen through the cracks of the system we've set up in this country.
Linda Bishop suffered from mental illness for most of her life. The last four months of her existence was spent living in this house, waiting for God and her mystery lover Steve to rescue her as she survived on apples, rainwater and snow during a record-setting winter.
God Knows Where I Am is told in her own words, read by Lori Singer (Footloose, Short Cuts). Her family members, doctors, a judge and police officers also offer their perspective on her life and death.
Linda was well-educated. A mother. And someone dealing with a severe bipolar disorder with psychosis. She had been committed for three years to a state facility, convinced that the Chinese mafia was attempted to murder her and that she was in the midst of a conspiracy narrative. She successfully fought for her unconditional release and to not be under her sister's protective custody, believing that she too was part of the forces that had amassed against her.
I'm not going to tell you that this is a fun watch. You watch a woman slowly die as she hides in a house, afraid to walk across the street where other people live. With proper care, she may have lived a longer and more full life. Or perhaps this was the way that she was meant to die, on her own terms. The film makes no judgments.
Well done drama...but sad and drawn out.
stillmeyou10 November 2018
Warning: Spoilers
A good biographical proof that our society is trained from birth to blame and demonize mentally ill people. The fact that the daughter appears so cold and annoyed and angry with her mother, who was clinically and very seriously ill, is extremely disheartening. She had schizophrenia. The daughter seemingly willingly forgot about what a model good mother she had been with her all the while she was growing up in the subsequent years she became ill. Good case of "get while the getting's good" and when it wasn't, she hightailed it out of there emotionally. I grew up with a girl whose mom was schizophrenic. She did embarrassing stuff too that she couldn't help...and school kids talked about it. Not once did this friend of mine behave like this woman's daughter. Not once did she behave embarrassed or cold inregard to her mother. Her mom was simply ill and couldn't help it.
The shocking and immensely sad story of one woman's battle with schizophrenia
paul-allaer14 May 2017
"God Knows Where I Am" (2017 release; 97 min.) is a documentary about Linda Bishop. As the movie opens, we are at "393 Mountain Road, Concord, New Hampshire" and it is "May 3, 2008". The body of a woman is found in an empty house by a prospective buyer who was taking a look inside. It's not long before the body is identified as being Linda Bishop. The investigating cop cannot believe his good fortune that she left a diary of the last months of her life. It contains a letter saying: "To whomever finds my body, I am a victim of domestic violence/abuse." The documentary goes back in time to Linda's upbringing and youth... At this point we're 10 min. into the movie but to tell you more of the story would spoil your viewing experience, you'll just have to see for yourself how it all plays out.
Couple of comments: this is the directing debut of long time documentary producers Jedd and Todd Wider ("Taxi to the Dark Side"). Here they bring the story of a woman whose death seems suspect. Was she abused? Was she on the run form the law? The directors do a marvelous job at going back in time, and the slowly letting things unfold, as if taking off lawyer after layer from an onion. Of course this film could never have been made without the extraordinary journals of Linda Bishop (who are read in a voice over during much of the film). This movie sheds new light on the incredible and devastating illness that is schizophrenia. Sometime in the film it is mentioned that there are 2.5 million people in this country suffering from schizophrenia, of which HALF deny that there is anything wrong with them (Linda Bishop was one of those). Linda's sister, daughter, and a slew of friends and others who know her are all interviewed at length. It all makes for a terrific, if very sad, documentary. "Dear God, please save me" are the opening words of the film (from Bishop's journals). And that's just the first emotional gut punch. Don't tell me you weren't warned...
"God Knows Where I Am" opened out of the blue and without any pre-release hype or advertising at my local art-house theater here in Cincinnati. Curiosity got the better of me, so I checked it out. So glad I did. The Sunday matinée screening where I saw this at was attended okay but not great (probably the perfect weather had something to do with that). If you like documentaries, by all means do not miss this one but be prepared for a emotional wallop. "God Knows Where I Am" is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
Couple of comments: this is the directing debut of long time documentary producers Jedd and Todd Wider ("Taxi to the Dark Side"). Here they bring the story of a woman whose death seems suspect. Was she abused? Was she on the run form the law? The directors do a marvelous job at going back in time, and the slowly letting things unfold, as if taking off lawyer after layer from an onion. Of course this film could never have been made without the extraordinary journals of Linda Bishop (who are read in a voice over during much of the film). This movie sheds new light on the incredible and devastating illness that is schizophrenia. Sometime in the film it is mentioned that there are 2.5 million people in this country suffering from schizophrenia, of which HALF deny that there is anything wrong with them (Linda Bishop was one of those). Linda's sister, daughter, and a slew of friends and others who know her are all interviewed at length. It all makes for a terrific, if very sad, documentary. "Dear God, please save me" are the opening words of the film (from Bishop's journals). And that's just the first emotional gut punch. Don't tell me you weren't warned...
"God Knows Where I Am" opened out of the blue and without any pre-release hype or advertising at my local art-house theater here in Cincinnati. Curiosity got the better of me, so I checked it out. So glad I did. The Sunday matinée screening where I saw this at was attended okay but not great (probably the perfect weather had something to do with that). If you like documentaries, by all means do not miss this one but be prepared for a emotional wallop. "God Knows Where I Am" is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
Where was her family?
eklekticm3 November 2018
Painful, but beautiful examination of a lost soul
lindavhill21 October 2018
I knew this was going to be difficult to watch, but last night I finally pulled it up on my DVR. Wow. The filmmakers brought this woman to life and didn't sensationalize her death. Great use of simple but elegant recreations of the house where Linda Bishop spent her last months. The music fit perfectly; the voiceover was compelling. The interviews with friends and family started out light and loving, and you're wondering where did things go wrong for her? The tension builds as her story unfolds, and the unbelievable happens.
I appreciated the panel discussion with the filmmakers and a physician led by Hari Sreenivasan after the movie was shown on my PBS station (KCTS). It helped me better understand how this could happen, and how it relates to the issues of mental health and homelessness in the Seattle area.
Everyone should see this movie.
I appreciated the panel discussion with the filmmakers and a physician led by Hari Sreenivasan after the movie was shown on my PBS station (KCTS). It helped me better understand how this could happen, and how it relates to the issues of mental health and homelessness in the Seattle area.
Everyone should see this movie.
Lots to Tell
westsideschl15 November 2018
What a complex history told in part in her last diaries, in part by those who knew her as well as others. The over-emphasis on apples is an insight into her state of mind as well as the conditions in which she tried to survive.
Lower rating because it was strung out a bit longer than it needed to be (suppose producers have to fill a certain time length), and the background music was a bit overbearing, but most importantly there were no subtitles so that the importance of her words could be heard through the music and at times poor enunciations and audio levels.
Her words, "God will help." has a poignant meaning
Harrowing and Gripping, excellently produced.
ianwilmoth-1405826 October 2018
The subject matter has been well covered in other reviews, but I just want to mention that the film making's use of conventional documentary tropes such as re enactments, voice over, interviews, and pans over letters, are somehow woven together in a mesmerizing fashion with absolutely beautiful cinematography and lighting of the re enactments, which are shot in the actual house. The shots linger over beautifully lit and composed scenes, without feeling slow. The voice actress that plays the crazy lady is really good. The music is subtle but creepy and melancholy and really adds to the atmosphere. Almost every line is a description of the woman by another person who starts out with the word "she", which at times is almost overwhelming though i'm sure that was the point. "she was this, she was that, she was the other, she did this she did that," imagine hearing sentences starting with the word she at least 200 times. Anyways the production values here really elevate this over the way this type of story is usually handled.
Interesting documentary, with one major flaw
stitchwitched1 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I noticed Linda Bishop's mental illness was described as being schizophrenia; however, in all the documentation shown in this film, her mental illness was always stated as having been diagnosed as bipolar disorder (and she had been prescribed lithium, which would also indicate her diagnosis was bipolar disorder). Considering these are actually two very different mental illnesses with different symptoms, which unfortunately aren't well understood by most people without experience with either one, I think this documentary could have done a significant service to educate people about whichever of these mental illnesses Linda Bishop truly had but failed to do so.
That said, this film was very effective in achieving what I believe it set out to do in terms of showing how poorly we are actually serving the population of people who are mentally ill in America, particularly among those who refuse proper treatment. I don't think there are any easy solutions to this crisis, but sadly, we have not even begun to discuss a better way to handle this problem, despite the fact that mental illness has been a consistent reason behind mass shootings in the US for almost three decades at this point.
I also want to comment on three things mentioned by several other IMDB reviewers. First, I believe the "boring" or very methodical way that the director chose to lay out the story of Linda Bishop's last few weeks was done specifically to put the viewer in her shoes, so that we might better be able to imagine ourselves in her situation as her life was running out - and as she KNEW her life was running out. Secondly, it is a mistake to take Linda's words about her sister spending all their family's money or their inheritance as truth because when Linda Bishop wrote those words, she was very firmly in the grasp of her mental illness, and thus might not have been thinking at all clearly. Lastly, and I think most importantly, it is also a huge mistake to think you have enough information about Linda's daughter from this documentary to diagnose her with narcissism (or any other mental illness)!!! I doubt any high school aged child WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN embarrassed by having an obviously mentally ill parent who kept refusing to take their medication (and since my own mother has been bipolar - and unmedicated - for most of my life, I am speaking from considerable shared experience with that of Linda Bishop's daughter, unfortunately). When your parent is so mentally ill that they repeatedly say and do things which hurt you terribly, you would be a fool NOT TO protect yourself by withdrawing from that person. This doesn't mean you don't love them; it means you are choosing to love yourself - and that you are choosing to love yourself because your parent is not mentally capable of loving you themselves!!! So in my opinion, which is obviously based on my own very similar experience having a seriously mentally ill parent, Linda Bishop's daughter deserves at least as much empathy as Linda herself does.
That said, this film was very effective in achieving what I believe it set out to do in terms of showing how poorly we are actually serving the population of people who are mentally ill in America, particularly among those who refuse proper treatment. I don't think there are any easy solutions to this crisis, but sadly, we have not even begun to discuss a better way to handle this problem, despite the fact that mental illness has been a consistent reason behind mass shootings in the US for almost three decades at this point.
I also want to comment on three things mentioned by several other IMDB reviewers. First, I believe the "boring" or very methodical way that the director chose to lay out the story of Linda Bishop's last few weeks was done specifically to put the viewer in her shoes, so that we might better be able to imagine ourselves in her situation as her life was running out - and as she KNEW her life was running out. Secondly, it is a mistake to take Linda's words about her sister spending all their family's money or their inheritance as truth because when Linda Bishop wrote those words, she was very firmly in the grasp of her mental illness, and thus might not have been thinking at all clearly. Lastly, and I think most importantly, it is also a huge mistake to think you have enough information about Linda's daughter from this documentary to diagnose her with narcissism (or any other mental illness)!!! I doubt any high school aged child WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN embarrassed by having an obviously mentally ill parent who kept refusing to take their medication (and since my own mother has been bipolar - and unmedicated - for most of my life, I am speaking from considerable shared experience with that of Linda Bishop's daughter, unfortunately). When your parent is so mentally ill that they repeatedly say and do things which hurt you terribly, you would be a fool NOT TO protect yourself by withdrawing from that person. This doesn't mean you don't love them; it means you are choosing to love yourself - and that you are choosing to love yourself because your parent is not mentally capable of loving you themselves!!! So in my opinion, which is obviously based on my own very similar experience having a seriously mentally ill parent, Linda Bishop's daughter deserves at least as much empathy as Linda herself does.
I was a basket case during the final 15 minutes
harrisstacey4 January 2019
Too poetic, no grit.
brookspayne5 November 2018
Emotional, but lacking information
pallmallpotus3 November 2018
It is a very moving, emotional and, frankly, depressing portrayal of how the mentally ill often fall through the cracks and fail to receive the care and assistance that they need. However, I didn't feel that the film really gave enough detail or information about the woman herself. We learned about her childhood and did get some sense of what it was like for her based on her own journal entries, but I still felt like most of the film contained very little about the victim and was mostly just dramatic cinematography which stretched out the length but didn't add any real substance. The whole thing could really have been condensed into a 30 minute length program. So, while I was captivated by the tragedy of this woman's story, it felt too drawn out and left me with so many questions about her illness and the events that led her to that house, that overall I was pretty disappointed.
A homeless woman's last months are recounted in this deeply personal exploration of mental illness
makleen231 January 2019
Directed by brothers Jedd and Todd Wider, God Knows Where I Am (2016) tells the story of Linda Bishop, whose tragic life ended quietly in an abandoned New Hampshire farmhouse. This powerful and captivating documentary uses Linda's own words, left behind in a notebook, and interviews with friends, family, and social workers to piece together her last weeks on earth. The result is one of the best documentaries I've ever seen.
The documentary tells the story of Linda Bishop, who in 1999 abandoned her 13-year-old daughter and began wandering, convinced the Chinese mafia, or some other unknown agency, was after her. Her travels even brought her to Ground Zero in New York City after the September 11 terrorist attacks, where she handed out American flags and gave tours. While working at a Chinese restaurant, she briefly met a man named Steve, who she became convinced wanted to marry her. In real life, the man once called a jail to ask them to block her letters.
For years, she checked in and out of psychiatric hospitals. Doctors diagnosed her with schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder with psychosis, but she denied there was anything wrong. Finally, in October 2007, Linda was released from New Hampshire Hospital in Concord and squatted in a vacant home, where she survived by eating apples until winter. She then slowly starved to death, writing diligently in a notebook, with neighbors a short distance away.
There were many tragedies about Linda's life, but when the New Hampshire Hospital simply released her into the streets without contacting her closest relatives, that was the beginning of the end. Linda refused to acknowledge her illness, and no one could force help on her. This failure of the mental health system forms the central debate in this film. Was there anything that could've been done differently to save her life?
The filmmakers recount this tragic story through interviews, footage filmed on location at the actual home where she died, and readings from Linda's journal. This narration, provided by actress Lori Singer, is performed with such authenticity you feel like you're hearing Linda's own voice. The narration alone is an incredible part of this documentary, a window into its subject's mind you rarely see.
God Knows Where I Am raises a number of important questions that might not otherwise be in the public consciousness. What obligation does the state have to care for someone who doesn't want help? Where is the line between eccentric beliefs and mental illness? What are the social and personal costs of homelessness?
The only potential problem with this documentary is that it walks a fine line between decency and voyeurism. Nina Metz at the Chicago Tribune wrote that it "is filmed with the kind of care and Pinterest-ready aesthetic that almost - almost - tips into fetish." It lays bare Linda Bishop's last moments to an extent that Linda herself likely never wanted anyone to see. I watched the film with the very uncomfortable sense that I was watching a person's most intimate moment completely uninvited.
God Knows Where I Am is almost universally praised and currently holds a 84% positive rating from critics and 88% audience favorability on RottenTomatoes. This simple but powerful tale takes the deeply personal and turns it into something universal. With every scene crafted to emotionally connect the audience to Linda's story, it is an excellent example of documentary filmmaking done right.
The documentary tells the story of Linda Bishop, who in 1999 abandoned her 13-year-old daughter and began wandering, convinced the Chinese mafia, or some other unknown agency, was after her. Her travels even brought her to Ground Zero in New York City after the September 11 terrorist attacks, where she handed out American flags and gave tours. While working at a Chinese restaurant, she briefly met a man named Steve, who she became convinced wanted to marry her. In real life, the man once called a jail to ask them to block her letters.
For years, she checked in and out of psychiatric hospitals. Doctors diagnosed her with schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder with psychosis, but she denied there was anything wrong. Finally, in October 2007, Linda was released from New Hampshire Hospital in Concord and squatted in a vacant home, where she survived by eating apples until winter. She then slowly starved to death, writing diligently in a notebook, with neighbors a short distance away.
There were many tragedies about Linda's life, but when the New Hampshire Hospital simply released her into the streets without contacting her closest relatives, that was the beginning of the end. Linda refused to acknowledge her illness, and no one could force help on her. This failure of the mental health system forms the central debate in this film. Was there anything that could've been done differently to save her life?
The filmmakers recount this tragic story through interviews, footage filmed on location at the actual home where she died, and readings from Linda's journal. This narration, provided by actress Lori Singer, is performed with such authenticity you feel like you're hearing Linda's own voice. The narration alone is an incredible part of this documentary, a window into its subject's mind you rarely see.
God Knows Where I Am raises a number of important questions that might not otherwise be in the public consciousness. What obligation does the state have to care for someone who doesn't want help? Where is the line between eccentric beliefs and mental illness? What are the social and personal costs of homelessness?
The only potential problem with this documentary is that it walks a fine line between decency and voyeurism. Nina Metz at the Chicago Tribune wrote that it "is filmed with the kind of care and Pinterest-ready aesthetic that almost - almost - tips into fetish." It lays bare Linda Bishop's last moments to an extent that Linda herself likely never wanted anyone to see. I watched the film with the very uncomfortable sense that I was watching a person's most intimate moment completely uninvited.
God Knows Where I Am is almost universally praised and currently holds a 84% positive rating from critics and 88% audience favorability on RottenTomatoes. This simple but powerful tale takes the deeply personal and turns it into something universal. With every scene crafted to emotionally connect the audience to Linda's story, it is an excellent example of documentary filmmaking done right.
schizophrenia into the mind of a lost soul
woodenboatwater18 October 2018
I'm not into documentary's . But this caught my attention .Cause I see my ex wife in this Bishop lady. so many lost souls walking out there with no hope of a happy ending. I think its the best documentary on the subject of schizophrenia. God Knows Where I Am . I recommend you watch this .
Stunning portrayal
bebovee4 November 2018
Stunningly accurate portrayal of the innocence of the person with mental illness be it bipolar, schizophrenia or both. It has been four years since my father was arrested with many counts of felony charges living a similar unknowingly, self-destructive path; the late onset of his disease started at age 56 years old. Thankfully, by the grace of God, the court required him to take medication. He has lived with myself and granddaughter for the last 7 years and even before that off and on for ten years. I pray that treatment continues to bless him with good control over this illness albeit imperfect yet striving to beat it. The answer to this is love, hope and forgiveness. Never give up but I know it will hurt.
Spoiler Alert
marcywashere4 November 2018
Warning: Spoilers
You'll get tears from her sister at the very very end. Her daughter has a mental health illness as well- narcissism. Her mother, whom the family; including her daughter, repeats over and over again had an illness that should have kept her locked up and medicated, wants us to feel bad for her that she threw herself a 19th birthday party and her own graduation party?! Her "very ill" mother writes to her while getting treatment and all Cait can worry about is herself. Never shedding one tear. Self absorbed. Having a mentally ill mother, let me tell you, even in my middle age years, I can barely speak about her without tears running down my face, and my mother is still alive. It's a lot more about just the mental health community that set her free. You will actually witness, a daughter, the one thing Linda probably thought she had done right, have zero empathy, sympathy or moral compassion for her own mother.
Eye opening
mhubbard-5465725 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This is the story of a mother who became mentally ill. She could not accept it, and would not take the medication which helped. She began acting on her delusions, and abandoned her daughter. Her illness led to homelessness, incarceration and institutionalization. A judge thought she was fine, because she was coherent for a few minutes in court. When she was finally released, she was allowed by state law to simply walk out the door with no money, or place to go. She broke into an empty farmhouse where she subsisted on apples for 3 months, writing an extensive journal. The apples ran out and she died several weeks later.
This is a fascinating look into the mind of a psychotic person. Haunting. Unforgettable.
This is a fascinating look into the mind of a psychotic person. Haunting. Unforgettable.
Hometown
hppygrl-832738 November 2018
Sad story of mental illness
lanettediax5 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
A very heart-wrenching story about one woman's struggle with mental illness and her family who had tried to help her. Very foolish of the judge for not granting her sister permission to be her legal health care agent. And incredibly ignorant and stupid of the mental health facility for releasing her without informing a family member. However, Linda was gone for 4 months and yet no one in her family called the mental health facility to see how she was doing, nor did they apparently visit her either. It is difficult on the families to see a loved one in that condition, but it seems Linda was left in that facility and forgotten, otherwise, she would still be here. I'm sure there are a lot of regrets!
There are no words.
christineconlon26 October 2018
There are no words to explain how real and heart wrenching this story is; for Linda, and the ones that loved her, and those that discovered her. Her daughter is real too, a real "all about me" shrew. No compassion. The message of this film is enlightening: that the good, the capabilities of system, and the lack of compassion in our society are all, at the same time, very real.
Too Long No Substance
spritzz21 March 2020
The substance of this film could have been covered in about 45 minutes. Half of the film is long, drawn out sequences of apples and slow readings from Linda's diary. Very sad story that deserved more. Lots to be desired.
Very tragic
brunettevtx29 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Linda Bishop could be anyone's mother, sister, daughter. This documentary is a tragic look at the cracks she fell through in the mental health system (her family should have been notified before she was released) plus the stigma of living with mental illness itself.
Please, if you need help, don't be ashamed to get it or ask for it.
Stunning, heartbreaking, beautiful.
nunya65528 November 2018
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