Last Man Standing (TV Series)

Sinkhole (2014)

Molly Ephraim: Mandy Baxter

Quotes 

• Mandy Baxter : Didn't we already see this episode?

  Eve Baxter : It's the news, different every night

  Mandy Baxter : Sad people, sad place, looks like a rerun to me

• Eve Baxter : Stick around. You'll learn something about the world.

  Mandy Baxter : I know all about the world. I was already in it while you were still busy ruining Mom's body.

  Eve Baxter : Um, who's the Secretary of State?

  Mandy Baxter : Uh, that's a trick question. Which state? See, you guys all watch the news and get all angry and stressed out. Pop quiz. Of everybody in this family, who's the happiest and the least stressed?

  [noticing Eve looking at the dog] 

  Mandy Baxter : And you can't say, "The dog." Um huh, it's me. This face will never see a worry wrinkle, which would make me smile, but I'm not going to because duh... smile lines.

  Eve Baxter : So your plan is to be clueless?

  Mandy Baxter : Ignorance is bliss. Thomas Grey in his "Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College".

  Eve Baxter : You get those "Quote of the Day" emails, dontcha?

  Mandy Baxter : If you know the *right* things, you don't have to know everything. Oh, for instance, that whole like secretary thingy... they actually don't call them "secretary". They really prefer "flight attendant".

• Eve Baxter : Joe Biden wishes *his* bunker was as nice as ours. That's the vice president, Mandy.

  Mandy Baxter : I know who Joe Biden is, okay? He's Barack Obama's Gayle.

• [last lines] 

  Eve Baxter : [reading the newspaper]  Why can't the people in the Middle East keep it together?

  Mandy Baxter : [reading a celeb gossip magazine]  Why can't Taylor Swift hold onto a boyfriend?

  Eve Baxter : Why can't North Korea join the rest of the world community?

  Mandy Baxter : Why can't Courteney Cox join the Friends cast reunion?

  Eve Baxter : Why can't Putin keep his shirt on?

  Mandy Baxter : Why can't Channing Tatum keep *his* shirt on?

  [Eve glances over at Mandy's magazine] 

  Mandy Baxter : Ah, ah, ah, ah,

  [covering the pages with her hands] 

  Mandy Baxter : who know what's really important?

  Eve Baxter : You do.

  [reaches for the magazine] 

  Eve Baxter : Give me that.