Filling in the Blanks (2023) User Reviews

Very surprising, well told story

[graceoverpressuretheoneANDonly · 8/10 · 10 December 2023]

I wasn't sure I really wanted to watch this due to the immediate thought this was being thrown here due to the Israel conflict - a hightlight on some Jewish story. But I was wrong. It is a well written, well told story of one families experience with sperm donation and how it affects ensuing lives - personal feelings of angst and uncertainty. It was also set in a time I'm very familiar with and can definitely identify with the writer/narrator, Jon, all the facts surrounding early sperm donation and the stigma for a variety of reasons. This was a well done, firsthand account documentary that left "no stone unturned". It held my attention because the story and the "players" ARE REAL, they are human and a family and of course, most of us can identify with that.

Very pleased I saw it; answered a whole lot of questions; gave me better insight to those I know going through life...Wondering.

Uplifting story on unexpected family secrets

[paul-allaer · 7/10 · 6 January 2024]

As "Filling In the Blanks" (2023 release; 95 min), we are introduced to Jon Baime, 54 yo, as he is getting ready to take a DNA test. We then go back in time as we get archival footage from the 1960s of Jon and his family (mom and dad, and 2 older brothers) growing up in the New Jersey suburbs. Turns out that dad is quite moody... At this point we are 10 minutes into the documentary.

Couple of comments: this movie is the labor of love by Jon Baime, as narrator, writer, producer and director of this (and, oh yea, he stars as well). Baime makes an unexpected discovery of a deeply held family secret, and once he finds out, the question is what he does with that information. I won't divulge anything more. The documentary could've gone in several ways but in the end, Baime, a very likable "Joe Sixpack" kinda guy, turns this into an uplifting story about unexpected family secrets. As such, the movie flies by in non time.

"Filling In the Blanks" recently started streaming on Amazon Prime, where I caught it a few days ago. If you are in the mood for an uplifting documentary, I'd readily suggest you check it out and draw your own conclusion.

A likable guy's story can also educate about adoption

[brianhart-12441 · 8/10 · 12 February 2024]

With DNA testing so widespread, this documentary/story does a terrific job with compassion and love, to explain the old ways of encouraged secret keeping.

Although the topic is sperm donation, there are many parallels told adoption too.

There is also a psychological side (facts) that is not included in the film, the heritability of personality. Nature (DNA and genetics/ heritability) contribute approx half of one's personality and Nurture (how you were parented and many other environmental factors) contribute form our personality - how we think about (our perspective) and interact (behave) with people and ourselves in our culture and the world.

We are lucky that the film's creator was always interested in film as a child, and that is why Well done. I enjoyed watching it and learning at the same time!

Must see if you are into DNA testing

[pmurguiaw · 10/10 · 7 September 2023]

I am surprised I am the first one rating this very well done documentary. This movie is a must see to any one who has done DNA testing and found surprises once the results comes back. While this documentary focus exclusively about being conceived through a sperm donor, the emotional road each person travels once he/she finds out the truth, is not much different than finding out one is adopted, or that one of your parents had an affair. I do believe that for all those people that are experiencing DNA surprises, this documentary will help you understand, forgive, reconcile.

At time Jon Baime sense of humor reminded me of Seinfeld. He keeps the documentary light and smoothly paced. I loved the cake message, the ending in the wall, and the gratitude shown. I find it refreshing that someone had the courage and goodwill to share his story. Kudos to the Blaine brothers for helping Jon making this documentary.

Made me angry at his shallowness

[daisybasket_3789 · 2/10 · 19 January 2024]

I accidentally hit the button and realized I could actually leave a review.

I nearly turned this off and decided to see what the storyline was. This guy seemed shallow to begin with. Then when it was revealed it was dna. I am Familiar with lots of research , so I watched. The more he continued I also thought the son was a horrible, unempathic, ridiculous person. Whether his cadence and tone was for the purpose of a documentary or not, his complete perspective is utterly disgusting. His lack of respect or gratitude for his parents is beyond cringy. His last brother was the only human of the 3. He seemed very sheltered and immature without any real emotional intelligence.

Incredible Discovery Journey

[lpmoses-16900 · 10/10 · 11 September 2023]

I was immediately captivated by the trailer and therefore wanted to watch the whole documentary. The story brings historical perspective into what is now quite common place - the idea of a donor parent. DNA testing has opened so many doors for so many people. The story is told from a surprising, to me, perspective. The mystery that Jon lived with for over 50 years. His quest to solve the mystery and then to share it with others is a gift. Everyone will relate to some part of the story. The story is told with humor and sensitivity and understanding. I truly loved the way it was all combined to tell his version as well as sharing others.

Obnoxiously Told

[elspin-57292 · 3/10 · 30 January 2024]

An interesting story overshadowed by terrible narration. The tone and manner in which the storyteller speaks automatically makes it sound like he's mocking the situation. That, combined with his arrogance, and lack of compassion and understanding made this cringeworthy. How about putting yourself in your parents' shoes for 5 seconds or imagining what it was like for your father to be infertile in a time when that wasn't spoken about? It's not like he was born yesterday. He was born in a time when artificial insemination was barely existent. Maybe he should be grateful for the life he was given. I just can't with this guy, he's not likeable. The story should have been told by one of his half siblings. Literally anyone else but him.

An Unexpected DNA Odyssey

[yatnickrd · 10/10 · 7 September 2023]

"Filling in the Blanks": Unveiling Paternal Identities in a Modern Tale "Filling In the Blanks" is a poignant and thought-provoking documentary that delves deep into the lives of middle-aged individuals who discover the truth about their biological fathers through proprietary DNA analysis. Directed with finesse and sensitivity, the film offers a revelatory exploration of identity, family dynamics, and the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies such unexpected revelations.

The film's central character, a middle-aged man grappling with the shock of discovering his true biological heritage, becomes the audience's guide through this complex journey of self-discovery. Through direct interviews, viewers are granted intimate access to the raw emotions of not only the protagonist but also his newfound brothers and sisters who share the same extraordinary situation. The documentary expertly captures their diverse range of reactions, highlighting that there is no one-size-fits-all response to such life-altering news.

One of the most compelling aspects of the documentary is its exploration of the varying emotional landscapes of the siblings. Some are genuinely surprised, while others experience a profound sense of relief, shedding the unwanted baggage of their non-biological fathers. Amidst these disparate reactions, one common thread emerges - the unwavering love and dedication of their mothers, regardless of the paternal complexities. This underscores the powerful and enduring bonds that tie families together, transcending the boundaries of biology.

As the narrative unfolds, the film deftly navigates the multifaceted layers of the human experience. It shines a spotlight on the societal shifts and attitudes of the past, specifically addressing the reluctant acceptance of artificial insemination during the 1960s. This contextual backstory adds depth to the broader discussion on identity and challenges our perceptions of family structures. The filmmakers are careful to present a balanced portrayal, allowing the audience to ponder the complexities and ethical considerations surrounding artificial insemination.

An engaging and heartwarming subplot centers around the siblings' journey to connect with their biological father. The documentary captures their excitement and trepidation as they embark on this unique quest for self-discovery. The genuine warmth and openness of the biological father as he welcomes his newfound children into his life provide a touching counterpoint to the initial shock of the revelations. His willingness to share his medical history and personal experiences helps foster a sense of closure and understanding for the siblings, who yearned for a connection that had been concealed from them for so long.

"Filling in the Blanks" excels in its ability to provoke introspection and dialogue on sensitive subjects. It raises important questions about the timing and necessity of disclosing the truth in cases of artificial insemination, highlighting the evolving perspectives on transparency and the potential impact on individual well-being. The documentary serves as a catalyst for conversations surrounding family secrets, the evolving nature of family structures, and the significance of genetic ties.

In conclusion, "Filling in the Blanks" is a captivating documentary that masterfully captures the complexities of identity, family, and the profound impact of newfound revelations. With its insightful storytelling and candid interviews, the film prompts viewers to reflect on their own perceptions of family and the power of genetic connections. By shedding light on the deeply personal experiences of the characters, the documentary succeeds in its mission to illuminate the intricate tapestry of human relationships and the transformative power of truth.

He put asterisks on his parents' headstone?!?!?!

[tony-mastrogiorgio · 4/10 · 6 January 2024]

First, the positives: You can't help but sympathize with the guy's situation. Finding out your dad is not your dad is going to be disorienting at least. Finding out he's an anonymous sperm donor and that you have other half siblings, well, yeah, I get it. People are going to react in different ways and I wouldn't pass judgment on someone's initial emotional reaction.

Now the bad stuff: Beyond that initial reaction, how about a little human sympathy and understanding? He has none for his parents. He's angry at them and borderline vindictive. The idea that he is even debating telling his dying father that he knows the painful secret he obviously wanted to keep is astonishing. He refers to his dad as "asterisk" and even puts the asterisk on his gravestone. Sorry, but that is a putz move by a big baby.

Some of his other half siblings have more interesting, grownup reactions. They talk about the deep shame that men were conditioned to feel at the time (late 50s - early 60s) about being infertile. Some of these men must have been motivated by love of their wives who clearly wanted to be mothers. They agreed to something far outside the norm for people at the time. (Similarly, many people concealed adoptions from their children back then.) This guy shows zero interest in seeing any of this through his father's eyes and emotions. He's angry at a man for...what? Agreeing to let him be born through his mother? For giving him life, raising him, and providing for him? For agreeing to bring his siblings into the world too? It's natural to be interested in the biological connection to a stranger and to half siblings. I'm happy for him that he got to expand his family in this way. Toward his own parents, he's a vindictive clown - and he's totally unaware of it. He actually thinks sticking an ill-tempered, self-absorbed letter to his parents in the wailing wall - a site his mother held sacred - is supposed to be an emotionally uplifting ending.

I almost never post negative reviews. Making a film or writing a book is hard. Revealing your life story is hard. But I got angrier and angrier at him as the film went on. I would much rather have spent that time with his half-sisters who clearly have more mature insight into their situation.

An interesting story that is becoming more common

[beebooba · 10/10 · 12 January 2024]

With the advances in genetic testing, the list of people receiving "DNA suprises" from places like 23andMe and Ancestry keeps growing. Everyone's story is different, but the outcome remains the same: what would you do if you suddenly found out you were not genetically related to your father? Jon's experience is an interesting one and he tells it with refreshing candor and a lack of sensationalism. Some of the vintage footage is great, and there are many surprisingly intimate moments captured on camera. I won't spoil any of the revelations, but if you are curious about DNA and the intersection of science and personal experience, you will enjoy this film. Similar docs include THREE IDENTICAL STRANGERS and OUR FATHER.

Ungrateful son

[marciandrewssells · 1/10 · 18 February 2024]

Honestly this documentary made me furious. I'm not sure I have ever left a review for anything and I am going to. Anyone who does not realize how different adoption, artificial insemination, etc.. was viewed back then is self absorbed. Only thinking of themselves. Did he have the permission from his parents to post pictures of them when they were old and dying? To take a DNA swab from your dad without him knowing. That is awful. To call your father Asterisk behind his back and put it on his grave is so disrespectful. What a self-absorbed person. I wish this documentary had never been picked up. It truly is so disrespectful to his parents. I'm glad at least 1 of the sons recognized his loving parents. If I were the new found siblings I would steer clear of this man and his negativity.

What would you do if you found out you're not related to your father?

[graffitiguy-26214 · 9/10 · 17 January 2024]

This is a wonderful film; and I highly recommend it. It's eye-opening to follow Jon Baime's story which will completely hold your attention as he shares his experience of learning he was conceived by artificial insemination from a sperm donor.

I am also donor conceived and didn't find out until I was in my mid-60s long after my parents had died. In my head I understood that it didn't really change anything about my life, but in my heart it was earth shattering! It's hard to process finding out that everything you believed about your origins was a lie.

DNA genealogy testing has made it possible for new people every day to find out that one or both of the parents who raised them are not their genetic parents. And, the numbers are growing! Whether it was due to donor conception, adoption, or an affair, the experience of learning your parents aren't who you thought they were is incredibly shocking.

Friends and extended family members cannot understand the feelings these revelations cause. It's an identity crisis that is difficult to resolve.

This movie helps those who are going through this to know that they are not alone; that there are other people who know what they are feeling. It will also help our friends and family to somewhat understand what we are going through.

Thank you Jon for sharing your story in this interesting and entertaining documentary!

Not my favorite telling of bio stories

[askadena · 5/10 · 14 January 2024]

You can tell this is a man who hasn't had a tough life , in part due to his Church we are in our 50s what are you thinking parents , and yet , he has such little empathy for either of them. Maybe it's his overly pandering , childish way of telling his story rather than just telling it. It's as if he feels like unless he gives us cues we won't pick up on the nuances. Unless you were adopted or found something similar out in your own life, I can't see or find anything insightful or new or interesting about this rendering. It comes across as pandering and childish . The most interesting thing for me was seeing Johnny Carson before the tonight show. The way they speak of and try and trap their 93 yr old father is unbelievable. These boys have never had a day of real heart ache in their lives.

Riveting, touching and engaging

[melaniebaker-74094 · 10/10 · 6 January 2024]

Extremely well written and produced. This true story will have you sitting on the edge of your seat wanting to know more. Information revealed from the 50's and 60's is shared that was a complete shock to me. This was a look into a deep secret past that only todays DNA tests brought to life. Well done Jon Baime. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart the incredible amount of time and effort you put into uncovering your start in life and the effect it had on you into adulthood. Hopefully this will give the courage and confidence many others need to take that first step to uncover their truth!

Man struggles with being unintersting, creates issues.

[devonccurtis-19129 · 1/10 · 2 March 2024]

The main guy finds out that his parents had to use a sperm donor. This seems to anger him in such a ridiculous way that I thought the movie was a mockumentary. He proceeds to crap all over both of his parents for not telling him. It looks like he had a pretty great life and upbringing but lacks any personality or interesting qualities. Probably why he made this movie about his...what? Problem? He even goes as far as to call the man who raised him an asterisk. There's a scene where he goes to dinner with many other of his half siblings that also found out they were donor babies later in life and they bond over it. That's it.

Absolutely Powerful and Interesting Documentary

[destiny_west · 10/10 · 1 January 2024]

Jon Baime does an amazing job with this documentary about his journey of self-discovery due to his father's off-hand comment leading him to have a DNA test secretly.

His ability to tell this story has you on the edge of your seat, fully engrossed. I felt like I was involved, part of the family, and I wanted to know more.

It is an interesting insight into the world of popular DNA tests and what the results might lead to. You go into it thinking you want to know more about your ancestry but end up finding out that nothing has been what it seemed and the family has had a secret you were not privy to.

I highly recommend this documentary.

Wanting the Wall

[caspian1978 · 5/10 · 27 January 2024]

This is the personal journey of a filmmaker that happens to be in a pickle with his parents. For this reason, the movie fails to be objective without accepting the bias interpretation from its source. On the surface, the subject matter of DNA and the truth is at its core. However, the delivery of the filmmaker is questionable and at times arrogant in his conclusions. Knowing that there are millions of unwanted children in the world, it is hard to feel anything for anyone in their 60's that is questioning their identity when finding out their father is not his biological parent. The point that is missed for most of the rant is that these kids were "wanted" and were given life when others were not. The un-biological Father gave them a home, food, comfort, a name and most importantly love. Besides giving them life, the somewhat petty answer of finding out the truth does not hold up to the fact that the father he always knew was in fact his true Father on Earth. The wall these kids build around them is real and important but also false. The tradition of their feelings outweighs the simple fact that they were loved, kept, given a place and, above all, a home. In the end, I agree with the mother when she says, "it's none of your business."

Touching Story + Lightness = Rare Combination for a DNA-Reveal Film

[lauren-logiudice · 10/10 · 17 May 2024]

As a late discovery donor conceived person I appreciated this film for its lightness and candor in exploring what a DNA surprise means. The filmmaker examines the topic from his perspective, as well the perspectives of the other siblings, his parents, his new siblings and biological father. It's a touching tribute to the power of family in all its forms.

So many films in this genre focus on the sadness, and while this film also explored the difficult parts of this discovery, it also delved into the fun, the heartwarming, and the positive. It was the most accurate depiction of the true NPE experience.

Odd point of view

[MamasnottellingU · 5/10 · 5 March 2024]

This is a story that might be more interesting if it were told from the bio father's point of view or even the mothers, with data and explanations of why things were so secretive decades ago and why less so nowadays. This seems like a narcissistic piece made by children who are trying to be famous by making fun of their fathers who were "shooting blanks." Honestly how disgusting. These men wanted privacy and it's not respected even remotely. I understand that this involves multiple parties and it happened to people so it's a story from many perspectives... but it's a very odd way to treat their dads. The balance of stories was confusing. Is donor sperm about the dads? Biological or familial? The moms really seem to be left out of everything and the children-especially the sons- really seem to be loving the limelight. I would want to look into whether narcissistic personalities are a common thread genetically in this gene pool. It gave me all kinds of ick. Could've been a nice story about human relationships. What a disappointment.

Beautiful handling of a complex subject

[standerdorene · 10/10 · 29 April 2024]

I have had a DNA surprise. I have found that most people, even the ones who have not gone through this, get what a profoundly identity-shattering experience this is, and this is true no matter how you were brought up.

Jon's love for his parents was obvious. I appreciated his light-heartedness in parts, because for many people experiencing this, it is a very complex and heavy subject. It is also a surreal experience, so light-heartedness where ever possible is appreciated by me, and I know many others.

Jon's movie examines the topics of identity, family secrets, and the meaning of family. I thought it was well-done.

Courageous Story of DNA Surprise Thoughtfully Told

[pboni-15158 · 10/10 · 4 May 2024]

How would anyone react upon learning that Dad wasn't biologically related? That his conception was a willful act of deception? That his health history was a mystery? That he had multiple siblings, all unknown to him? That his siblings with whom he was raised were really half-siblings from different dads?

Jon takes us ringside in his journey and places us inside his head to share an intimate view as he navigates the disruptive, traumatizing discovery and researches his origin as a product of the unregulated Assisted Reproductive Technology industry.

When he shared a letter to his deceased parents and delivered it to the Wailing Wall, I cheered through some tears. Jon exposed all that he uncovered with sensitivity, compassion and humor.

It takes such strength of character to reveal your vulnerability. Thanks, Jon, for adding your documentary film as fodder to advocate for regulatory change...AKA The Donor-Conceived Bill of Rights

Peter J. Boni Author: Uprooted: Family Trauma, Unknown Origin, and the Secretive History of Artificial Insemination.

Honored to have watched this personal journey of discovery

[sunshineseniorrobin · 10/10 · 1 May 2024]

Do we really ever know one another? Even our parents? Apparently not. It's crazy to have learned what Jon experienced through this revealing documentary.

As much as we love our family deeply, we can't always explain the decisions our loved ones make.

I'm sure Jon's parents' intentions were for the best but still shocking to be left with questioning everything after finding out a deeply hidden secret.

Jon did a wonderful job sharing what his life was like before and after his DNA test incorporating home movies, photos and interviews with his family.

I found myself truly engaged and was all in to see how it unfolded.

For anyone who has had a Non Parental Event or anyone interested in Family (and its complexities)

[sosborne-90766 · 9/10 · 2 May 2024]

As home DNA testing kits and the interest in genealogy grow in popularity, more and more of us are learning that our parents are not who we were told they are. The current estimate can be as high as 10% of the population. This documentary explores the topic in an honest and emotional way. The pain and loss caused by the discovery are explored along with the (potential) shame and angst. Loss of the biological connection via a DNA test can touch so many members of the family, each in different ways. The creator of this movie does an excellent job of communicating these complex issues. The use of original family movies is impressive. This is one of the best movies I have seen on the topic. If you have experienced this loss, or know someone who has experienced the loss of their parental connection, via learning the truth of their adoption, donor conception, or plain misattribution of their parent, this is a MUST-WATCH film.

Well, well, well....

[hhprplhayes-03237 · 10/10 · 20 February 2024]

I just want to say this documentary is not only Well-Conceived, but also Well-Delivered..... I know, I know, but puns are fun though!

The honest truth is I enjoyed this so much. And it is very interesting sociologically. This show plays very similarly in tone and speed of discovery as another show that I enjoy, "Finding Your Roots" on PBS. Of course the people discovering their genetic family tree are famous people.

So I think it stands as a compliment to Filling in the Blanks" (which if you think about it is a really good pun as well!) -that it is just as well written, directed, played and produced as a PBS broadcast show. In my honest opinion that is. I really just believe the way these ladies and gentlemen handled these secrets is tremendous. Not only the children but the parents as well. Also, without spoiling it, the ending is a BRILLIANT wrap to the whole tale.