The Phoenix Rises (2012) User Reviews

Amazingly boring mixed with nerve jangling audio!

[mike-ryan455 · 3/10 · 17 October 2013]

The Phoenix Rises is definitely a product of the "School of Amazingly Bad Lost Rip-Offs," a.k.a. SABLRO.

My first clue that this was purely a SABLRO movie was the frantic cutting back and forth with the funky beam weapon zapping the universe. Then we cut back in time to the trademark "Mysterious Introduction with Death Defying Leaps." Unfortunately we then got subject to the "mysterious danger" - coming in the form of the zombie looking woman with a machine gun as that patented Cool Hero goes through the would be massacre without a scratch or even breaking a sweat. Then we get the Sayid Jamal rip-off crazed torturer and assassin.

You think I am making this up? I wish I were. This one hurt my eyes and my brain. It even hurt my ears with amazingly clanging, jangling noise they called music.

If you value the health of your brain, stay away.

Someone's messing with the weather

[mister-rob · 1/10 · 17 October 2013]

A team of scientists discover that someone is messing with world weather. After reporting their findings a government agent is dispatched to brief them on a government project and enlist their help to discover the truth.... blah blah blah.... I normally wouldn't waste any more of my time than i already have by watching this but I needed to stop others from 2 hours that they will never get back. The Acting - OMG, Really what were they thinking. My speak n tell could do a better job and i don't even own one. The Plot - Are you serious, been done before with better acting and a storyline. To the 13 or so votes that rated 10, you should be ashamed of yourselves for misleading other users and tricking them into watching this so called movie.

Only A Sense of Duty Compels Me...

[Lary9 · 2/10 · 24 October 2013]

Only a sense of duty compels me to waste more time on this review. A few others have written comments so well expressed and so on-the- money that I must include some quotable lines:

~Viktor Vedmak (realvedmak) from Canada~ "Whoever made this should either stop making movies or stop doing drugs." "This entire movie is basically extended torture scene." "It really would not surprise me if somebody prone to seizures got one from attempt to watch this crap."

~Robo E from Australia~ "The Acting - OMG, Really what were they thinking. My speak n tell could do a better job."

~mike-ryan455 from United States~ "Amazingly boring mixed with nerve jangling audio!" "You think I am making this up? I wish I were. This one hurt my eyes and my brain. It even hurt my ears with amazingly clanging, jangling noise they called music."

Thanks guys. Your comments not only gave me insight but validation of my own post-viewing impression---(as well as a good laugh-out- loud.) Here's what can add:

1. The screenplay had language, which was meant to support a plot involving hi-tech climate warfare, ominous networks & computer chips, was so awful & sleep-inducing, it sounded like it was transcribed from technical conference meetings at a plumbers' convention---but with substitutions of computer hardware lingo to give it some authenticity.

2. The audio was was an experience worse than the American surge in Iraq--- from the Iraqi side. Also, as the climate attack got underway, loud noises like static discharges, but pumped up in volume, would unrelentingly pop & hiss. Re: Video effects=> Every 2-3 minutes, I'm guessing because of the electromagnetic nature of the attack, the video would be disrupted with electrical interference across the screen like a loud static smear... (this silly audio/video effect was obviously added in post-production editing) It hurt both my eyes, my ears and my sci-fi quality standards.

#3. To sum it up, like the others said, the acting was non-existent. The screenplay was wooden like a used parts manual. But, the female lead Catalina Soto-Aguilar, a newcomer to me, was lovely eye candy... (now you know why I watched it to the end.) So thanks for all the humorous LMAO comments. It seems we agree.

Garbage

[realvedmak · 1/10 · 18 October 2013]

Whoever made this should either stop making movies or stop doing drugs.

This entire movie is basically extended torture scene. It starts of badly and it simply never gets any better. It really would not surprise me if somebody prone to seizures got one from attempt to watch this crap. Just imagine somebody holding directional strobe light pointed directly at your face for entire length of bad movie and you get an idea of what this movie plays out like.

Acting is also just atrocious. I do not see these people getting much work as actors in their future. I think any decent actor would be ashamed of being in this movie and unwilling to be credited in it. Those without foresight to request they not be credited, ... my condolences.

movie sucked waste of money and time

[jakeruben · 1/10 · 8 November 2013]

I watched 10 minutes of this movie! It was 10 minutes too long... I would rather watch 2hours of wheel of fortune! The acting if you want to call it that was horrible, the movie quality I hope was low budget.... if it wasn't then even more people need to be fired, I feel ripped off for renting this movie!!! The music gave me a twitch and the acting was less professional than a elementary school play. I don't know how this movie ever made it into production, the director and producers should never be allowed to make a movie ever again. I had to rate it on a scale of 1-10 because 0 wasn't an option :(. I hope people read these reviews before they submit to such horrific movie making.

We don't exist

[nogodnomasters · 2/10 · 23 January 2018]

This film is designed for the "AM America" crowd, particularly that one guy who keeps calling in about how the government is controlling weather using Tesla Coils. Looks like he got a camera for Christmas. Now the problem is NOT the government controlling the weather by heating the ionosphere, it is that rogue element that is causing disasters. Our group is tasked in trying to find counter measures to what is happening and save California before they get shot.

This is apparently the middle of a trilogy of stories which include the film "Skyhook" and "Sons of Liberty." Christine Kozlowski a former Miss Mississippi, plays scientist Maryanne Brown. She spends her time working on magnets instead of taking showers. The acting was noticeably bad. The dialouge was rather boring. There are two couples who work together at the facility, but they live dormitory style, a clear indication this production is extraterrestrial in origin. There is an evil doer with a Jamaican accent so bad they use subscripts. In order to look official the film gives us the location and time, example: Kansas City, Missouri. 16:23. No sense locking us in with a date or a year.

The film has no character build up, apparently assuming everyone saw "Skyhook" a project which plays a role in this film but is lost to everyone except for that person who saw it...most likely the same AM America Tesla call-in guy. Indeed the film is designed for a narrow audience, and by narrow I mean one guy and I am not him. I'm the guy who sells plans for a frictionless perpetual motion machine;) Tesla Coils indeed.

Oh yes, the camera man sucked too. Please, in the future put the camera on a rolling tripod instead of having it sway in the office scenes so I won't get motion sickness.

Cheap special effects, brought back memories of those sex rays in "Flesh Gordon." Thanks, I guess.

Parental Guide: No F-bombs, sex, or nudity. Implied off screen forced lesbian sex with an awkward "Gamesters of Triskelion" cut away. Sorry, I needed my obscure Trekkie reference fix after this.

Small budget with rushed execution

[inanytime · 29 October 2013]

Other reviewers have already listed the negative points of this film, so I'll list what I feel were the positives. I liked the static effects that were used to show the physical impact of frequency distortion. Even though this effect was done on a small budget, when combined with the sound and tape edits, it gave those scenes a feeling of melting reality. I also liked the main theme of the plot, about scientists working on weather control; and also the comedy elements intermixed with some very scary scenarios (though the scariness of these scenarios was never fully realised). I think this could've been a better film with a bigger budget.

A below par movie destroyed by its audio effects

[callingham-87016 · 1/10 · 18 March 2017]

This is your usual modern, cheap, apocalyptic movie. The plot is rushed, muddled and, in places, nonsensical. The narrative is rushed. The acting is mediocre at best. Characterization and motivation are both gauche and ludicrous. Scene changes are edited with an alarming abruptness; people swap locations without warning and explanation a LOT. So far, so good. I tend to love the trashiness of these movies. However, this is the first film I have watched where the audio effects are persistently painful. The jarring sounds, interspersed every two or three minutes, are earbendingly harsh and annoying. I read another reviewer call them 'jangly'. They are much, much worse than that! Almost as bad as a pneumatic drill in your living room. We spent most of our time with the remote altering sound levels and getting increasingly irritated.

The sound guy has ruined what could have been an entertainingly trashy, although appallingly edited, movie.

CA is and always will be the biggest liability this nation has.

[cmv32261 · 1/10 · 28 May 2015]

Earthquakes, brush fires, land slides, mud slides, public service costs far exceeding that of the state budget leaving the the federal government to cover the costs of damages and health care for la cockroaches. As for saving the New Orleans area from a hurricane on the scale of Katrina, should not have been rebuilt after the occurrence. I certainly do not believe we have the technology to control the weather, more likely we would create a situation where weather would run amok. Nor is it possible for viruses to survive in the Ionosphere either, do not believe that viruses are capable of surviving in an electrically charged environment anymore than multicelled organisms are. Science fiction should be completely devoid of personal relationship lines, no lovey dovey nonsense.

Pretty girls make awful scientists

[davejessop-1 · 1/10 · 2 December 2021]

Not convincing at all. WHY were there subtitles for the African bloke speaking English? If you think your actor is not understandable then don't employ him - it was annoying and then no subs for the Russian lines. As others have said annoying background "music". Everything about this is bad - the acting, direction, effects, story. All pretty much a non-event. 1/10 (because I can't give it 0.5).