Quotes
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Malory Archer : [arguing over the phone with Len Trexler] You wanna play me hard?
Sterling Archer : Phrasing.
Malory Archer : Well, then, you better nut up!
Sterling Archer : Phrasing!
Malory Archer : Because I've swallowed just about all I'm going to take from you!
Sterling Archer : Hey! Phrasing!
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Lana Kane : What's their beef?
Malory Archer : Oh, the same entitled crap as always. "I can't make ends meet. I'm on food stamps. My child died because I couldn't afford new bone marrow." Just, me, me, me, me, me.
Lana Kane : Jesus, whose kid died?
Malory Archer : Oh, who remembers?
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Malory Archer : This is the last time you make me out a fool, Len Trexler. You wanna play me hard?
Sterling Archer : Phrasing.
Len Trexler : You know I do.
Malory Archer : Well then you'd better nut up.
Sterling Archer : Phrasing.
Malory Archer : Because I've swallowed just about as much as I can take from you!
Sterling Archer : Hey! Phrasing!
Malory Archer : And we'll see who's smirking when ISIS steals that diamond for real!
Len Trexler : Oh, you're a naughty girl.
Malory Archer : Right, then, commence Operation Rub Len Trexler's Big Fat Nose in it.
Sterling Archer : Yeah. Sounds like you already have.
Agent Lana Kane : Wait. You want us to break back into the palace which now has the insane amount of security we recommended, plus god knows how many ODIN guys?
Malory Archer : Yes, so take more of that poison.
Agent Lana Kane : And on top of that suck salad, you want to sprinkle on the bacon bits of "Oh, hey, let's tell them we're coming"?
Malory Archer : Well?
Agent Lana Kane : Well, there's this new thing called the element of surprise?
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Malory Archer : I don't care if you're captain...
[pause]
Sterling Archer : Crunch! No wait, Beefheart.
Sterling Archer : Claudio, we had a deal!
Sterling Archer : Wait, Kangaroo.
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Pam Poovey : You hear that, Miss Archer? We're all on board for the big win-win out here.
Malory Archer : Well I'm not. Do your worst, Krieger!
Doctor Krieger : Okay!
Cheryl Tunt : Oh, my God, yes!
Malory Archer : Yes! Go ahead, crank up the heat. I'm as naked as the day I was born.
Doctor Krieger : Oh, yes!
Pam Poovey : Naked or not!
Cyril Figgis : Well, don't keep saying it.
Pam Poovey : You can't stay in there forever.
Malory Archer : Ha! I'll outlast you. I'm naked, and I've got half a lime, and almost... nearly two-thirds of a half-gallon of
[bottle breaks]
Malory Archer : ... Shit.
Pam Poovey : Now we've got her!
Malory Archer : Ha! I'll suck it right off this grimy linoleum before I give into you belly-achers. You've got nothing!