Tayler Marshall: Kenzo Harper

Quotes 

• Michael Harper : [Filming for a home video bloopers show]  OK, Kenzo. Look happy. It's your birthday.

  Kenzo Harper : I've had my birthday.

  Michael Harper : Well, this is another one. A pretend one.

  Kenzo Harper : Pretend? Isn't pretending like lying?

  Alfie Butts : It is a bit, yes.

  Michael Harper : No, it's not! It's fine!

  Kenzo Harper : Mummy says it's wrong to lie.

  Michael Harper : Well, mummy's a fine one to talk!

• Michael Harper : Look, Kenzo, do the stunt and uncle Michael will get you a box of Smarties and some Jelly Babies. How's that?

  Kenzo Harper : £10.

  Michael Harper : What?

  Kenzo Harper : £10.

  Michael Harper : Seven.

  Kenzo Harper : 12.

  Michael Harper : 10.

  Kenzo Harper : Done!

  Michael Harper : [Long pause]  He's good, isn't he?

  Alfie Butts : You have to admire his moral flexibility!

• Janey Harper : What's going on?

  Kenzo Harper : Hello, mummy! If I fall into the cake, uncle Michael is going to give me £10!

  Janey Harper : What? Michael, no! He could get hurt!

  Michael Harper : No, it's a shop-bought cake. It's not one of mum's!

• Ben Harper : Nice work, Kenzo! Owe you a tube of Smarties!

  Kenzo Harper : £10.

  Ben Harper : What?

  Kenzo Harper : £10.

  Ben Harper : Seven.

  Kenzo Harper : 12.

  Ben Harper : 10.

  Kenzo Harper : Done!