Graham Crowden: Tom

Quotes 

• Diana : Marriage, what a weird concept. Two people meet, spark off an emotional explosion which is probably the most intense feeling they will ever have in their entire lives; they rush off to a church, swear they will keep it up forever; then, when the steam of lust has cleared and they see each other's blackheads and nasal hair with pustular clarity... they realize they are joined at the legal hip and are condemned to years of sullen compromise, bitterness, despair, depression, futility, and... only if they're lucky, the release of an early death.

  Tom : I never realized it was such fun.

  Diana : [laughing]  Well, I speak, of course, from the lofty point of total ignorance of the state.

• [last lines] 

  Tom : It's the all clear! Brings back old memories. I was at Biggin Hill.

  Diana : [mutters]  I know.

  Tom : Had a prang and lost both my legs; then was shot down by the Hun and they had to drop in a pair of tin legs.

  [starts walking stiff-legged] 

  Tom : Oh-hey!

  Diana : That is very tasteless, Tom.

  Tom : Is it? Oh good. I've always wanted to be tasteless.