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Quotes
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Dewey Cox : [after singing a much faster and louder version of "Walk Hard" due to the effects of cocaine] Alright, again! Faster!
Dave : This is crazy, Dewey. Ain't nobody gonna wanna listen to music like this. You're standing there playing as fast as you can, singing like some sort of... punk!
Dewey Cox : Don't you dare try to stifle me. Whose band is this anyway? You cocksucker! I'll punch you in the mouth!
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Dewey Cox : [irritated] I don't need people around me, stifling me. So if you don't like it, there's the door.
Theo : Dewey, are you sayin' you don't need us no more?
Dewey Cox : Not unless you can open your minds... and learn to play the fucking theremin.
[brief pause]
Theo : FUCK YOU, DEWEY!
Dave : Yeah, fuck you Dewey! In twenty years, not once have you thrown a woman my way. You don't think we like cheating on our wives too?
Sam : And you never once paid for drugs. Not once!
Dave : You pay that chimp more than you pay us! I had to borrow from the chimp to get a mortgage on my house!
Theo : And those stupid siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas! I don't want anymore siamese glass cats!
Dewey Cox : The siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in Ancient Egypt.
Sam : Fuck nobility!
Dave : Fuck Ancient Egypt!
Theo : ...Fuck cats!
Sam : And you never paid for drugs. Not once.
Dave : [angrily] You slept with my wife!
Theo : You slept with me, too! And I've had confused feelings about that for ten years now!
Sam : And you never *once* paid for drugs!... Not once.
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Dewey Cox : But I have to say, I like your stuff. It's pretty good, and most of your records, I really enjoy.
Paul McCartney : Well, we're big fans of your records, too. We like to think that "Hard Day's Night" is our "Guilty As Charged".
John Lennon : [in a hard, Liverpool accent] Great record!
Paul McCartney : Excellent album! We learned a lot from ya.
John Lennon : Great record.
Theo : Well, we're real big fans of y'alls!
Dave : Huge fans! You guys are almost as good as The Monkees. You guys are great.