Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
Mila Kunis: Rachel Jansen
Photos
Quotes
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Rachel Jansen : [on the phone] Peter.
Peter Bretter : [on the phone] Sarah?
Rachel Jansen : No, Rachel Jansen from the front desk. What's going on up there? We're getting calls about a woman crying hysterically.
Peter Bretter : Yeah, y'know, I hear it too, it sounds like she's having a tough time. I think it's coming from the floor above me.
Rachel Jansen : You're on the top floor.
Peter Bretter : [apologizing] I'll try to keep it down.
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Aldous Snow : Awful bloody film. I say, it's just a ridiculous premise. What would happen if your mobile phone killed you? Why would a mobile phone kill anyone? Doesn't make sense. How can a mobile phone have an agenda and kill people...
Peter Bretter : I told her that when she read the script
Aldous Snow : Yeah, you were the voice of reason, mate.
Peter Bretter : I tried to be, but she didn't listen.
Aldous Snow : Going around killing people. A mobile phone, like doing murders.
Peter Bretter : Why couldn't you just take the battery out of the phone?
Aldous Snow : Right. That's it. The battle's over.
Peter Bretter : Yeah, we've won.
Aldous Snow : I hated it.
Sarah Marshall : Well, it's not for everyone, but it...
Peter Bretter : No, it's ridiculous. Here's my favorite scene. Hello?
[Peter feigns death]
Aldous Snow : Right. I could never happen.
Sarah Marshall : It's a metaphor for addiction to technology.
Rachel Jansen : For society, how we're reliant on technology. I get it. I'm with you.
Aldous Snow : It's a metaphor for a crap movie.
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Dwayne the Bartender : I don't understand what there is to think about.
Rachel Jansen : Because, Dee... he...
Dwayne the Bartender : She licked the tip. That doesn't count.
Rachel Jansen : Of course it counts, he...
Dwayne the Bartender : He what? He refused a blow job from his ex-girlfriend mid blow job. Do you know what that's like for a man? It's called blue balls, Rachel. This guy's like Gandhi, but better; he likes puppets. I love puppets. I love Fraggle Rock. I love Lamb Chop. I love Elmo, Sesame Street, Burt and Ernie, Snuffleupagus? Fucks my shit UP.
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Peter Bretter : Is she coming this way?
Rachel Jansen : Yep.
Peter Bretter : I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.
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Rachel Jansen : [She is in the water, and daring Peter to dive off a cliff, into the water] Oh, come on, Peter. I can see your vagina from here!
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Rachel Jansen : I can see your hoohah!
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Rachel Jansen : [about his rock opera] Why Dracula?
Peter Bretter : Because he's a man like anyone else. He just wants to be loved. And every time he gets close to a human woman, he ends up smothering and killing her, which is a feeling I am familiar with.
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Peter Bretter : I love Hawaii.
Sarah Marshall : Yeah, it's nice, but I think for like a week, tops. Any more than that and I know that I'd go crazy, because I think that Hawaii is a place to escape for people who can't deal with the real world.
Rachel Jansen : [sarcastically] Yeah, you know, there's so few personal shoppers and pet therapists. Gosh, it's such a hard life.
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Peter Bretter : [Trying to upstage Sarah] I'm not done yet!
Rachel Jansen : Shut up!
Peter Bretter : Okay.
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Rachel Jansen : I thought I told you to stay on your island!
Ray : The deal was off April 9th.
Rachel Jansen : Well the deal's back on!
Ray : You think you're the chief of this island! I'm the chief of this island!
Peter Bretter : I know his friend, let me handle it
Rachel Jansen : Fine.
Peter Bretter : Hey man you remember me?
Helpful Hawaiian Waiter : The cocktail guy
[He punches Peter]
Kemo : Ray what are you doing here?
[Ray backhands him, Kemo backhands him back]
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Rachel Jansen : Why don't you press your feet up against the rock, and like shoot yourself off.
Peter Bretter : What, like a frog?
Rachel Jansen : I don't know Peter, just get off the fucking rock!
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Peter Bretter : [whispers] Are you sleeping?
Rachel Jansen : Not anymore.
Peter Bretter : I really enjoyed spending time with you
Rachel Jansen : Me too.
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Rachel Jansen : You've got that magic newlywed dust all over you.