Dan Renton Skinner: Policeman

Quotes 

• Ben Harper : Are you telling me there is nothing you can do to get that squatter out of my house?

  Policeman : I'm afraid not, sir. Unfortunately, the law is weighted in the lawbreaker's favour. One day, a real rain's gonna come and wash the scum off the streets. But until then, all I can do is file a report.

  Ben Harper : But they broke into a private property!

  Policeman : Well, I saw no sign of forced entry. My guess is that someone left a window open.

  Ben Harper : A window open? Please! In this day and age? This is not 1955!

  Susan Harper : Oh.

  Ben Harper : What do you mean 'oh'?

  Susan Harper : It's just a crack to let the paint dry. Well, there was nothing there to steal!

  Ben Harper : They stole a four-bedroomed house!

• Janey Harper : Can I ask a question?

  Policeman : Yes.

  Janey Harper : What time do you get off?

  Policeman : I'm sorry, miss, I'm married... to the job!

  Janey Harper : Can you at least frisk me before you leave? I'll wear the handcuffs! Please?