Seinfeld (TV Series) The Library (1991) User Reviews

Kan't-STANz'yaa!!!

[Antoine_Bugleboy · 7/10 · 17 December 2006]

Single Favorite Line: (Lieutenant Bookman recalls the past) "Yeah, '71, that was my first year on the job..bad year for libraries - bad year for America...hippies burning there library cards, Abbie Hoffman telling everyone to steal books...I don't judge a man by the length of his hair, or the kind of music he listens to --ROCK WAS NEVER MY BAG!" (okay, not a "line", a soliloquy - but regardless, too good to pass up!)

Notable Guest Stars: Philip Baker Hall (as Lt. Bookman, NYPL w/ a badge!, and Ashley Gardener (as Marion the librarian)

Memorable Exchange: (with Jerry and Kramer leaning over the counter behind Marion at NYPL) J: "...This woman is completely ignoring me!" - K: "Look at her ..this is a lonely woman looking for companionship...a SPINSTER...maybe a VIRGIN!...maybe she got hurt, a long time ago..she was a schoolgirl, there was a boy, it didn't work out...so now she needs a little tenderness, she needs a little understanding --NEEDS a little Kramer!" - J: "..Then she'll need a shot of Penicillin."

Key Topics: *Overdue Books *Changed Appearances *Wedgies *Deceptive Memory *Henry Miller

Part I Didn't Like: I really wanted them to make more of Mr. Haymen, the former Phys-Ed-tormentor-cum-homeless-loon.

Extra Nice Touch: The editing and writing are in near-perfect harmony.

7 of 10 - One of the three best scripted by Larry Charles

You better not screw up again Seinfeld

[youssef_hany · 9/10 · 20 December 2020]

Hilarious episode one of the best episodes in the whole series Philip baker was a great addition he made me laugh so hard

So funny !

[mikelmike77 · 8/10 · 6 August 2012]

Totally brought back memories of being in catholic school and the way we used to write things in the blank pages of books we had . The part where Bookman says with disdain '' there are drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees was hilarious !! I'm laughing now just thinking of it . Combined with the flash back sequences of Jerry and George in school with the hair and outfits of the time , George's teacher calling him ''Cant-standya '' , it was just too funny for words , a really great episode . Also how the people remembered past events differently was cool too I thought because it really reflects reality , so all in all really cool !!

One of Seinfeld's best!

[gordonb-59587 · 10/10 · 21 June 2022]

I have to wonder if in this episode, Philip Baker Hall as Lt. Bookman went off script and ad-libbed most of his part. It was so good, the cameras kept rolling and the editors were smart enough to leave it in the show. During his rant, Seinfeld really couldn't keep from laughing and Hall worked that right into his speech. It was beautiful.

Many times Seinfeld has trouble not smiling at scripted jokes, but here, he really almost looses it.

"Bad year for libraries..."

[MaxBorg89 · 10/10 · 12 April 2008]

In 1990, Stephen King's Four Past Midnight hit the shelves: a collection of four tales of horror, it got particularly gruesome in the section called The Library Policeman, a wince-inducing yarn that toyed with the idea of the eponymous "law enforcer". Why am I mentioning this? Because this episode of Seinfeld provides its own take on the figure, and while it is considerably lighter in tone than King's version, it most certainly qualifies as equally smart.

The events of the show are set in motion when Jerry receives a note telling him he still hasn't returned a library book he borrowed in high school (!). Utterly convinced something is wrong, he goes to the library to complain. Two more story lines stem from here: firstly, Kramer becomes infatuated with a librarian ("She needs a bit of Kramer!" Jerry: "Yeah, and then she'll need a shot of penicillin."); secondly, George thinks a hobo sitting outside the building is actually his old gym teacher, a man who used to torment him by deliberately mispronouncing his name: Cantstandya instead of Costanza. In the end, Jerry is forced to deal with Lt. Bookman (Philip Baker Hall) himself, which means there will be a lecture on how everything gets worse, year after year.

"Yeah, '71, that was my first year on the job... bad year for libraries, bad year for America...". That's how Baker Hall, one of the greatest character actors in recent film history, introduces The Library's best scene. Remembered by most people as the sad/manipulative character in the likes of Sydney, Boogie Nights and Magnolia, he has never really hit it big with a cinematic comedy. Sure, his minor role in Bruce Almighty was fun to watch, but a bit of a wasted opportunity. Here, instead, he succeeds in comically deforming his trademark persona while retaining a sort of realistic charm, with the result of Bookman being hilarious, but still believable as a human being. In fact, after seeing this, I kind of wonder whether '91 was good or bad for libraries...

A Day at the Library

[Hitchcoc · 10/10 · 3 April 2022]

Philip Booker Hall should have got an Emmy for his performance as Mr. Bookman, the humorless, nasty library cop. There are so many hilarious situations. Kramer puts his moves on the pretty librarian and actually gets her to his apartment. The flashbacks to the coach and the Henry Miller novel are also excellent. Perhaps my favorite episode to date.

The Library is a wonderful episode, that's so funny,Philip Baker Hall has a very memorable Seinfeld character as Bookman!

[callanvass · 14 March 2006]

*plot*. The Public Library contacts Jerry about a book he took out, but never returned back in 1971. He faces the wrath of a cantankerous library cop, Lt. Bookman. While George relives his high school days.

The Library is a wonderful episode, that's so funny, Phillip Baker Hall has a very memorable Seinfeld character as Bookman!. George's high school scenes were very funny to watch, and the romance between Kramer and the librarian Marion (Ashley Gardner) was quite amusing as well, plus Jerry's stand ups were very funny (espiecally the opening one about the ventriloquist dummy), plus it's extremely well written by Larry Charles. Joshua White does a perfect job of directing, and the scenes with Phillip Baker Hall and Jerry are a hoot to watch, plus while Harris Shore did a great job as Mr. Lippman he is no Richard Fancy!. The ending is very funny, and Ashley Gardner(Marion) is awesome as Marion, plus Biff Yeager was just great as the gym teacher turned homeless man Heyman. It's wonderfully made, and while Julia didn't have much to do in this one, she was still amazing, plus the story is fantastic!. The Library is a wonderful episode, that's so funny, Phillip Baker Hall has a very memorable Seinfeld character as Bookman, and I say go see it now if you haven't!. ***** out of 5

Favorite quotes.

(Jerry talking about Marion). Jerry: This woman is completely ignoring me. Kramer: Look at her, this is a lonely woman looking for companionship, a spinster maybe?, a virgin, maybe she got hurt a long time ago, she's a schoolgirl, there was a boy, it didn't work out, so now she needs a little tenderness, she needs a little understanding, needs a little Kramer. Jerry: Then She'll need a little shot of penicillin.

Marion: This case has been turned over to our investigations officer Mr. Bookman. Karmer: Bookman?, the library investigator's name is Bookman?, come on. Marion: It's true. Kramer; That's amazing, that's like an ice cream man named cone.

George: Listen just because, I got the guy fired, Doesen't mean I turned him into a bum, does it?. Elaine: What did he do?. George: He purposely mispronounced my name, instead of saying Costanza, He'd say can't stand ya, can't stand ya.

Bookman: Well let me give you a hint Junior, maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me maybe, sure were too old to change the world, but what about that kid sitting down, with a book right now and finding drawings of Pee-Pees and Wee-Wees, in a branch at the local library.

Elaine: Boys are sick. Jerry: Well what do girls do?. Elaine: We just tease someone, till they develop an eating disorder.

(Ending) Heyman: Can't stand ya (laughing), Can't stand ya.

Best Episode

[bradspam-02871 · 10/10 · 6 May 2021]

This is the best Seinfeld episode. Mr. Bookman is the star. Peepies and weewees. LMAO.

The episode that introduces Bookman and the iconic Seinfeld phrase, "Cantstandya" into the show's lexicon

[SLionsCricketreviews · 8/10 · 14 February 2018]

"The Library" might not be quite as polished as 'Seinfeld' episodes down the road but it is well remembered as a high point in the show's early years. This is where 'Seinfeld' was finally coming into its own and it's all on display in this fairly tightly woven twenty two minutes. There's very little that drags and while it is fondly looked back on for the character of Bookman, brilliantly played by the great character actor Phillip Baker Hall, it is entertaining all-round.

The episode begins with high pace and it sustains it quite well throughout the episode. What follows Seinfeld's opening stand-up piece is a phone call that Jerry receives from the New York Public Library whereby he receives the odd and distressing news that a book that he borrowed that he supposedly returned, is overdue and he will be met with a lengthy fine. The episode kicks itself into gear immediately and that too is refreshing and from here on in, the episode is an entertaining ride all the way through. Watching Kramer entice deeply buried feelings of love and lust in a lonely librarian is hilarious, as is the payoff later on where Kramer embarrassingly succumbs to tears while reading the librarian's poetry efforts. Michael Richards again nails the role and he makes even solitary phrases like 'memory burn' in this episode hilarious and memorable unto themselves. The character, the dynamic he adds to the show and the performance are all now at that ideal level.

While at the library, George discovers that his former gym teacher whom he had fired (according to Jerry, George 'sang like a canary') is now a destitute living outside the library. This is the sort of storyline that the show has done a number of times where George, either through no fault of his own or through a fault, has terrible consequences for someone else. It was present in the second season episode, "The Busboy" and will continue to make its presence known throughout the series. While the laughs on George's end may be a tad lacking compared to some of his more powerhouse performances this season, it's still very entertaining and it adds the classic 'Can'tstandya' to the 'Seinfeld' dictionary.

There's also Elaine, who gets the smallest role this episode albeit a still entertaining piece where she has trouble at work with her boss and fellow employees, who for some inexplicable reason seem to harbour feelings of resentment towards her. It's a very small story that gets a neat and amusing payoff later in the episode but arguably this storyline is most significant because it is early signs of Elaine's character becoming a more focal element of the series. Here we see her professional life and much like earlier in the season in "The Truth" where we saw her domestic life, it adds vitality to the character that makes her feel real, which is obviously of vital importance going forward with the series.

I enjoy "The Library" a lot even if my enjoyment does not quite match the reputation it has earned for itself. Phillip Baker Hall and his iconic character of Bookman is the obvious highlight of this episode but it manages to be entertaining beyond a powerhouse guest performance and character. I just don't *quite* consider it to be amazing.

Pun

[bevo-13678 · 10/10 · 19 June 2020]

I like how the bloke from the library's last name was book man

Can't stand ya

[dannylee-78082 · 7/10 · 13 March 2023]

1. Jerry goes to library 2. Elaine doesn't get lunch 3. Jerry pays fine

This episode definitely had its ups and downs. The performances of the guest appearances were really well done and hilarious, both Mr. Bookman and the librarian. The former is considered as one of the best guest appearances in the show and I definitely agree. It also felt good to get out of Jerry's apartment and explore other sets such as the library and Elaine's job.

This episode also talked about how memories of the past can be distorted with the location of an old book being the main plot. I liked that there was a unifying theme in the episode but subplots with Elaine's job was mediocre and the resolution of where the book was predictable.

Had it been for stronger writing, I would consider this as one of the better episodes of season 3.

You just got booked Tribute to the Bookman

[ThunderKing6 · 10/10 · 13 March 2023]

A library has a Bookman and he wants his book back.

The March month of the 13th of the 2023rd

What was this episode about: Mr. Bookman seeks Jerry for an overdue book that is over 20 years old.

George thinks he saw the ghost of his old gym teacher.

Elaine? Who cares. Though Mr. Lippman was a different fellow back then.

Kramer dates a pretty Librarian.

Story and Production: Minus Elaine unmemorable bits, this episode was funny, and superb.

Jerry, all he needed was to stand there and have Mr. Bookman take over. He was cool. They needed more of him.

George was funny trying to figure out if the Ghost of his gym teacher was true. I wish they brought him back too.

Overall and fine, fun, engaging, simple, relaxtainment episode.

Highlight: Bookman Vs Jerry and him saying Hello

Girlfriend Attractiveness level: The Library was a 9. I wish she could give me a library card.

Laugh meter: 10

What can be learned?: Remember to return your books back to the free book store.

Verdict: Read to achieve.

George: I don't understand lunch, I don't know anything about lunch. Listen.

[bombersflyup · 5/10 · 11 February 2022]

The Library is about Jerry having an overdue book from 1971, which he's certain he returned.

I said the previous episode was perhaps the worst episode of the season, but I'd say it's this. There's not a lot of laughs here, including Jerry's standup which is absent of jokes. It's also silly and unrealistic as well. There's no way that the Jerry portrayed here becomes a comedian, but also many minor things like an unfit gym teacher for one. The episode is memorable however for the nickname "Can't Stand Ya" and Bookman's librarian line.

Bookman: I remember when the librarian was a much older woman: Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't want to know anything about her private life. She didn't have a private life.