My Family (TV Series)
Death Takes a Policy (2000)
Zoë Wanamaker: Susan Harper
Quotes
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Susan Harper : Why is no-one eating?
Janey Harper : The peas look burned.
Susan Harper : But they're not. They're crispy-crunchy. There are many countries where crispy-crunchy peas are a delicacy.
Janey Harper : Name one.
Susan Harper : Zamboni.
Janey Harper : You just made that up
Susan Harper : Prove it! Bon appetit.
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Brigitte McKay : [Reads newspaper] It says here 'a woman gives birth to 10lb alien'. Do you believe that?
Susan Harper : Trust me, from the moment they pop out, they're all aliens.
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Brigitte McKay : I'm not sure he's much of a people person, your husband.
Susan Harper : No, but great legs!
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Nick Harper : I went down the job centre and I found a well-paying professional job.
Susan Harper : Yes! Yes! Yes!
Ben Harper : Oh, my God!
Susan Harper : Come on! Pay up! Pay up!
Ben Harper : Alright, alright, alright, alright! OK!
Nick Harper : Erm, what is this?
Susan Harper : Your father and I had a little wager about when you'd actually get a job.
Nick Harper : You know, it's a good thing I've got very high self-esteem.
Susan Harper : Excuse us, darling, but if we didn't make light of your unfortunate track record in the employment area...
Ben Harper : ...then we'd put a sack over your head and club you like a baby seal.
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Susan Harper : We already have insurance, Nick.
Ben Harper : Yeah, we've... w-what? Since when?
Susan Harper : Since Nicky was born. We talked about it, you said we'll talk about it later, we talked about it later, you said you didn't want to talk about it, so I forged your signature and we have insurance!
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Susan Harper : I'm upset.
Ben Harper : Have some tea.
Susan Harper : I'm very upset.
Ben Harper : Have some herbal tea.
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Susan Harper : Don't you want to know what people are really feeling?
Ben Harper : Susan, I'm a dentist! All day long, I'm exposed to what people are really feeling and it's usually 'ouch!'
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Susan Harper : In 15 years, our office has never lost a tourist.
Ben Harper : What about the guy at Westminster Abbey?
Susan Harper : We didn't lose him. He was arrested.
Ben Harper : Alright. What about the four Americans in the Hampton Court maze?
Susan Harper : That's the whole point of a maze, isn't it? Getting lost! So that doesn't count!
Ben Harper : No. What about the Elephant House incident?
Susan Harper : Er... You always look on the negative side, don't you?
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Nick Harper : [about his girlfriend] Anyway, I really like her and I want you to meet her. So can I bring her round?
Susan Harper : For dinner?
Janey Harper : Not if he likes her.
Nick Harper : No, I will stop for a quick chat about her future and the small way dad can help with her career.
Ben Harper : What? She wants to be a dentist?
Nick Harper : Hehe! Right, like I'd go out with a dentist!
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Ben Harper : [about Nick] Why did we choose to have him?
Susan Harper : We didn't. It was the jug of margaritas at the Mexican restaurant.
Ben Harper : Oh, yeah! He was almost Jose Cuervo!