Clerks II (2006)
Zak Knutson: Sexy Stud
Photos
Quotes
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Randal Graves : [Dante, Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, Elias and the Sexy Stud have been taken to a holding cell] Jail cell design hasn't changed much in centuries, has it? Maybe it's time they brought in the laser bars, or something.
Jay : Oh, they can make a hard plastic cage like Magneto's in X-Men 2! Nauw.
Randal Graves : Come on, dude, let's keep it in the real world, alright? But you know what wouldn't be a bad idea? Carbonite.
[Silent Bob points and nods in agreement]
Randal Graves : What do you think, Dante?
Dante Hicks : [Dante looks up and glares at him, then charges at Randal, slamming him into the bars] I think I'm gonna kill you!
Jay : What up, steel cage match!
Dante Hicks : You ruined my life!
Randal Graves : Your life was already ruined!
[shoves Dante away]
Randal Graves : Jesus!
Dante Hicks : What were you thinking? A fuckin' Donkey show?
Randal Graves : It was your going away present!
Dante Hicks : [sarcastic] Sure was! I never thought I'd be going away to prison!
Sexy Stud : Boys? You can't be imprisoned for watching an inter-species sex act. You'll walk. The worst I'll get is a huge fine for animal abuse, and alot of disgusted looks from ass-wipe conservatives who can't appreciate sexual exploration. Hey!
[as he drops into his seat in the jail cell, sighing sadly as he leans back against the bars]
Sexy Stud : I miss my donkey.
Dante Hicks : I can't believe you. I finally get my shit together. I'm hours from getting outta here, and really starting my life, and you somehow figure out a way to obliterate all that and reduce me to a convict
Randal Graves : Oh yeah, it's my fault that your life's so fucked up! I'm the engaged guy who knocked up my boss!
Jay : You knocked up the guy that owns Mooby's? Ew!
Randal Graves : [chuckles, and then incredulous] What?
Dante Hicks : [at Jay] Would you shut up?
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Sexy Stud : [as the cops pull up] Oh, shit! Not again! Gotta finish!
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Sexy Stud : So, where're we doin' this thing?
Randal Graves : Oh, right inside the restaurant.
Sexy Stud : You're kidding.
Randal Graves : Not spacious enough?
Sexy Stud : No, it's plenty spacious, just kinda weird, isn't it?
Randal Graves : Kinda weird? You're in the bestiality business, dude.
Sexy Stud : Hey, Fucko, we like to call it inter-species erotica.
Randal Graves : Intriguing.
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Sexy Stud : Ooh, cake!
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Randal Graves : Yo, Freddy fucking Mercury! Where's Kelly?
Sexy Stud : [pointing at the donkey] Right here!
Randal Graves : I thought that's the sexy stud.
Sexy Stud : *I'm* the sexy stud.
Randal Graves : But this donkey is a dude!
Sexy Stud : Kelly can be a guy's name too. Hey!
[Randal shrugs and sits down]
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Sexy Stud : When it's over, if you want, you can fuck Kelly.
Randal Graves : Really? Sweet!
Sexy Stud : Yeah.
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Sexy Stud : [as he drops into his seat in the jail cell, sighing sadly as he leans back against the bars] I miss my donkey.