Hellspawn is a mix of what's great about the Polonia Brother's films and also the worst. We get some really fun scenes with a demon that's just a rubber masked person in a red flannel shirt walking about, mildly killing people. But then some utterly boring scenes of two characters chatting away that's so badly recorded that you can't hear a word they are saying. It's a shame, but the bad outweighs the good here. There's an amazingly inventive scene where someone is electrocuted via a hair dryer in a bath that's achieved with one of those bath jacuzzi things you used to get to blow bubbles in a bath. It's also pretty well shot for a Polonia film, but unfortunately it's mostly quite dull.
4 Reviews
Probably the worst 'movie' to be commercially released
StoneGriffin25 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
It's too bad that more people haven't seen this, then Hellspawn would be the KING of the bottom 100 list for all eternity.
The previous commentary was right on the money (kudos to the previous critic :) ) This movie is wretchedly shot on video with no sense of editing, lighting or cinematography. It really looks like low budget video about a confusing, nonsensical story about some sort of "demon" (some guy in a rubber mask and a BRIGHT red plaid flannel shirt, going around supposedly killing people. The kills are worse than something a junior high schooler film student would throw together in an evening. Since the movie makes absolutely NO SENSE, I will point out the parts which are so bad ... well ... they are just BAD....
The sound recording of the two LEAD ACTORS was completely off, so whenever they speak, the gain is pushed WAY UP, so you hear them talking muffled in the background, completely distorted with a huge 'hum' as the editor tries to allow us to hear what they are saying. But it's inconsistent, so you hear a huge HUM and distorted audio ONLY when the two lead actors are talking and nowhere else. Distracting eh? The monster walks around in 'monstervision', i.e. the video image is post processed to look 'negative' and 'solarized', but the gimmick goes on for way too long. The filmmakers were so proud of this cheesy video effect, they stretched it on and on, ad nauseum. The monster's P.O.V. shots goes on and on with a 'clawed hand' pawing at the sofa ("oooooh! Scary!") and at the clock on the wall ("oooooh! Scary!") and at the telephone ("oooooh! Scary!") and at the stairs ("oooooh! Scary!"), you get the picture. What kind of monster pokes his hand at EVERY mundane item in a room before they walk into the NEXT ROOM! It makes no sense and gets irritating really fast.
This next bit is so bad IT'S HILARIOUS .... Apparently the director was too cheap or lame to hire a REAL woman to do the bath scene (where the so called FEMALE victim is stalked by the monster), so he does it HIMSELF! You hear a woman humming, getting ready for the bath, but as far as this 'nude scene', you only see disembodied shots of hands soaping up and legs being washed .... and they all obviously ... belong to a guy!! I kid you not! They're massive and hairy! UGH!! You never see the woman who is killed, only a dime store skull covered with blood and a Offscreen (sound effect) woman's scream. Only a KID in junior high would try to pull THIS stunt, seriously.
The car interior shots are done with a Home Depot lamp with tons of green light bulbs. So the heroes are blasted with an eerie green light under their chins like an old monster movie. Why doesn't everyone have green light blasting from their car interiors? This was shot in Tioga County, PA. There's some nice travelogue shots of the Tioga County courthouse ... hey there IS something worthwhile seeing in this piece of crap! ;) A parting note: SPOILER (but I doubt it) A character at the end has a massive cemetery tombstone, but his friend still has fresh cuts and bruises from the incident that caused this character's demise, so I assume that they can make large granite custom tombstones within 48 hours? For a character who's a trailer trash nobody? I can't believe I bought this movie from a large electronics/Video store chain. It's like buying a DVD from your eleven year old neighbor.
The previous commentary was right on the money (kudos to the previous critic :) ) This movie is wretchedly shot on video with no sense of editing, lighting or cinematography. It really looks like low budget video about a confusing, nonsensical story about some sort of "demon" (some guy in a rubber mask and a BRIGHT red plaid flannel shirt, going around supposedly killing people. The kills are worse than something a junior high schooler film student would throw together in an evening. Since the movie makes absolutely NO SENSE, I will point out the parts which are so bad ... well ... they are just BAD....
The sound recording of the two LEAD ACTORS was completely off, so whenever they speak, the gain is pushed WAY UP, so you hear them talking muffled in the background, completely distorted with a huge 'hum' as the editor tries to allow us to hear what they are saying. But it's inconsistent, so you hear a huge HUM and distorted audio ONLY when the two lead actors are talking and nowhere else. Distracting eh? The monster walks around in 'monstervision', i.e. the video image is post processed to look 'negative' and 'solarized', but the gimmick goes on for way too long. The filmmakers were so proud of this cheesy video effect, they stretched it on and on, ad nauseum. The monster's P.O.V. shots goes on and on with a 'clawed hand' pawing at the sofa ("oooooh! Scary!") and at the clock on the wall ("oooooh! Scary!") and at the telephone ("oooooh! Scary!") and at the stairs ("oooooh! Scary!"), you get the picture. What kind of monster pokes his hand at EVERY mundane item in a room before they walk into the NEXT ROOM! It makes no sense and gets irritating really fast.
This next bit is so bad IT'S HILARIOUS .... Apparently the director was too cheap or lame to hire a REAL woman to do the bath scene (where the so called FEMALE victim is stalked by the monster), so he does it HIMSELF! You hear a woman humming, getting ready for the bath, but as far as this 'nude scene', you only see disembodied shots of hands soaping up and legs being washed .... and they all obviously ... belong to a guy!! I kid you not! They're massive and hairy! UGH!! You never see the woman who is killed, only a dime store skull covered with blood and a Offscreen (sound effect) woman's scream. Only a KID in junior high would try to pull THIS stunt, seriously.
The car interior shots are done with a Home Depot lamp with tons of green light bulbs. So the heroes are blasted with an eerie green light under their chins like an old monster movie. Why doesn't everyone have green light blasting from their car interiors? This was shot in Tioga County, PA. There's some nice travelogue shots of the Tioga County courthouse ... hey there IS something worthwhile seeing in this piece of crap! ;) A parting note: SPOILER (but I doubt it) A character at the end has a massive cemetery tombstone, but his friend still has fresh cuts and bruises from the incident that caused this character's demise, so I assume that they can make large granite custom tombstones within 48 hours? For a character who's a trailer trash nobody? I can't believe I bought this movie from a large electronics/Video store chain. It's like buying a DVD from your eleven year old neighbor.
More low budget independent crap that's not worth a second of your time.
poolandrews17 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Hellspawn starts with an on screen caption that informs us 'The events you are about to witness are based on a true phenomena. Some material was dramatised, but the basic facts of this supernatural legend remain true', yeah right. We start in 'The Past...' as a woman gives birth to a freaky looking little mutant kid with horns which kills everyone in the room & disappears into some nearby woods, we are informed via an unlikely line of conversation that the thing was a product of her being raped by her husband. Jump forward to 'The Present...' where Mick & Jack receive a phone call from their cousin Frank who ask's them to house-sit while he goes on a fishing trip, the pair agree & head for Franks house situated in the woods near a small town. Once there they hear stories on the news about graves being dug up & dead bodies taken & a legend about a monster that stalks the woods, they don't believe a word of it. That is until they are attacked by the monster ('Big' Dale Strom) themselves, Mick & Jack decide to make a stand against the monster as they figure attack is the best form of defence. Can they put an end to the monsters murderous reign of terror? Who knows... who cares...
Directed by Mark Polonia as Alan Joseph Micheal Hellspawn is a real cinematic turd. The script by John Polonia, lets keep it in the family boys, is absolute crap. It's boring as hell, it's stupid, it makes little sense & is no fun to watch. It provides no entertainment value, is clichéd, predictable, has annoying character's & dull dialogue. The entire thing is set mostly in one house & Hellspawn has more than it's fair share of problems, why is there no police activity anywhere when this monster has supposedly killed numerous people within such a short space of time? What has that guy who talks to the monster have to do with anything? This only happens in one scene & is then totally forgotten. Why or how was this monster created in the first place? I'm not having the fact that it's Mother was raped as any sort of satisfactory explanation, I'm just not having it. There are a few scene that are supposed to show that the monster has emotion & is misunderstood, a bit where it starts to cry for instance, unfortunately these scenes are so poorly done they look ridiculous & since there's no discernible pattern to the monsters behaviour (sometimes it kills... sometimes it breaks down in tears!) or when it gets all tearful it seems out of place & at odds with the rest of the film anyway. Hellspawn is the cinematic equivalent of going to the dentist, it's painful, unpleasant, boring & you feel rotten & ripped-off for having shelled out hard earned cash for the privilege. Having said that you don't get any laughing gas with Hellspawn to soften the experience...
Hellspawn was director Polonia's first film & he seems to have gone on to make a selection of terrible low budget horror crap. The film is atrocious to look at, the monster mask is awful & I seen scarier worn by kids around my area at Halloween. There's a funny scene at the end when a car takes a dive off a cliff & explodes, cut to a shot of a toy car on fire. The 'action' & 'horror' scenes are flat, dull, boring & don't generate any sort of excitement. The sound is awful, half the time you can't hear what people are saying, the music was obviously taken from another film & some of the sound effects are hilarious especially at the end when Jack hits the monster with a chain. Forget about any decent gore, there's a skull with some blood on it & that's about it, exciting eh?
Technically Hellspawn is very poor throughout & even worse then it's straight-to-video fate would suggest, the sound, cinematography, production values & special effects are all bottom-of-the-barrel stuff throughout. The acting is atrocious, plain & simple.
Hellspawn is total crap, all it is is a monster walking around doing nothing in particular edited into scenes of two annoying idiots doing nothing in particular until the last ten minutes when they meet up for a final confrontation, which sucks. Hellspawn has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, definitely one to avoid.
Directed by Mark Polonia as Alan Joseph Micheal Hellspawn is a real cinematic turd. The script by John Polonia, lets keep it in the family boys, is absolute crap. It's boring as hell, it's stupid, it makes little sense & is no fun to watch. It provides no entertainment value, is clichéd, predictable, has annoying character's & dull dialogue. The entire thing is set mostly in one house & Hellspawn has more than it's fair share of problems, why is there no police activity anywhere when this monster has supposedly killed numerous people within such a short space of time? What has that guy who talks to the monster have to do with anything? This only happens in one scene & is then totally forgotten. Why or how was this monster created in the first place? I'm not having the fact that it's Mother was raped as any sort of satisfactory explanation, I'm just not having it. There are a few scene that are supposed to show that the monster has emotion & is misunderstood, a bit where it starts to cry for instance, unfortunately these scenes are so poorly done they look ridiculous & since there's no discernible pattern to the monsters behaviour (sometimes it kills... sometimes it breaks down in tears!) or when it gets all tearful it seems out of place & at odds with the rest of the film anyway. Hellspawn is the cinematic equivalent of going to the dentist, it's painful, unpleasant, boring & you feel rotten & ripped-off for having shelled out hard earned cash for the privilege. Having said that you don't get any laughing gas with Hellspawn to soften the experience...
Hellspawn was director Polonia's first film & he seems to have gone on to make a selection of terrible low budget horror crap. The film is atrocious to look at, the monster mask is awful & I seen scarier worn by kids around my area at Halloween. There's a funny scene at the end when a car takes a dive off a cliff & explodes, cut to a shot of a toy car on fire. The 'action' & 'horror' scenes are flat, dull, boring & don't generate any sort of excitement. The sound is awful, half the time you can't hear what people are saying, the music was obviously taken from another film & some of the sound effects are hilarious especially at the end when Jack hits the monster with a chain. Forget about any decent gore, there's a skull with some blood on it & that's about it, exciting eh?
Technically Hellspawn is very poor throughout & even worse then it's straight-to-video fate would suggest, the sound, cinematography, production values & special effects are all bottom-of-the-barrel stuff throughout. The acting is atrocious, plain & simple.
Hellspawn is total crap, all it is is a monster walking around doing nothing in particular edited into scenes of two annoying idiots doing nothing in particular until the last ten minutes when they meet up for a final confrontation, which sucks. Hellspawn has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, definitely one to avoid.
Just Add Alcohol...
azathothpwiggins23 May 2022
HELLSPAWN is a low-LOW-budget film about a woman who gives birth to the diabolical baby of the title, in a scene reminiscent of the "birthing scene" in Larry Cohen's IT'S ALIVE.
Naturally, the infernal infant goes on a murderous rampage. Lots of carnage and ultra-cheeezey sets make this creepy cheapie the perfect choice for your next inebriated movie night.
If you don't drink, you might by the time this one's over!...
Naturally, the infernal infant goes on a murderous rampage. Lots of carnage and ultra-cheeezey sets make this creepy cheapie the perfect choice for your next inebriated movie night.
If you don't drink, you might by the time this one's over!...
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