Coyote Ugly (2000)

Maria Bello: Lil

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lil : I'm married to that bar. Hell, I'd, uh, I'd sleep there, if I had the guts to walk around barefoot. But that's me, you know. I'm the original coyote. Just a small town gal trying to make it in the big bad city.

  Violet : Small town gal?

  Lil : Piedmont, North Dakota. You ever tell anyone that, I'll kill ya.

• Cammie : I'm Cammie, the Russian tease.

  Violet : Violet, the Jersey nun.

  Cammie : That one's Rachel, the New York bitch. We all play our little parts. Only Rachel really is a bitch, and I really am a tease.

  Lil : Cammie, you can only be a tease if you stop sleepin' around, babe.

  Cammie : Yeah, I keep forgetting that part!

• Lil : That's Rachel, you can learn a lot from her.

  Violet : She just cut some guy's ponytail off.

  Lil : Yeah, the court ordered her to take anger-management classes after she pummeled a customer for grabbin' her ass. He pressed charges, I gave her a raise. Cheers!

• Violet : I don't mean to press my luck, but would you mind telling me why you're hiring me?

  Lil : Because, the, um, average male is walking around with a toddler inside of his pants, a two year old right there inside his dockers.

  Violet : Men have two year old children in their pants - that's why you're hiring me?

  Lil : You look like a kindergarten teacher. The kids'll love it.

  Violet : Sorry I asked.

• Girl : Can I ask you somethin'?

  Lil : What?

  Girl : What - Oh, what does Coyote Ugly mean?

  Lil : Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand, and the person you're next to is layin' on your arm, and they're so ugly, you'd rather chew off your arm then risk waking 'em? That's coyote ugly.

  Girl : My God. But, why would you name your bar after somethin' like that?

  Lil : Oh, because Cheers was taken.

• Customer : So, basically you have...?

  Lil : Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black, and Jose; all my favorite men. You can have it any way you like it, as long as it's in a shot glass.

• Lil : Let me guess: Piedmont, North Dakota.

  Violet : South Amboy, New Jersey.

  Lil : Same thing.

• Guy : Now, shake it! Come on!

  [Rachel scowls] 

  Lil : Don't do it, Rach. He's a big guy and you're still on probation.

  Rachel : Don't worry, those classes are really paying off!

  [slams the back of her fist into the guy's face] 

• Rachel : Lil, do we serve water with our whiskey?

  Lil : Only water I serve's got barley and hops in it. Hey everybody, do we serve water in this bar?

  Everybody : Hell, no H2O!

• Lil : Hey, everybody, shut up! I'd like you to meet my new girl, whose name is... Jersey! Jersey, is an ex kindergarten teacher, and a former nun, who just escaped from the convent, and is tired of being the only virgin in New York City! Would anyone like to buy her a drink?

• Violet : Do you have a reservation?

  Lil : Uh, yeah, it's under, uh, "Cast Iron Heartless Bitch."

  Violet : Could it be under "Stubborn and Pigheaded"?

  Lil : Yes! That's the one.

• Violet : Look, are you really the owner? 'Cause I've had a rough couple of days and so the last thing I need is some waitress on a power trip wastin' my time.

  Lil : You start Friday night.

• Lil : I told ya not to break the rules.

  Violet : What are you talking about?

  Lil : I'm talking about you and your boyfriend making a scene in my bar. I'm talking about a friend of mine inside with a broken nose. The rules were simple, Jersey. I fired girls for a lot less.

  Violet : What, so I can't have a boyfriend, now? What kind of stupid shit is that?

  Lil : Hey, this place is my home. And I'm not willing to risk everything I have on your personal life. It's business, plain and simple.

  Violet : This is not business. I work my ass off for you and you're supposed to be my friend!

  Lil : I never said I was your friend. I'm your boss and you knew the rules like everybody else.

  Violet : Will you stop with "the rules". It's a bar for Christ sake!

  Lil : [hands Violet her guitar]  Then what are you so upset about?