The Nanny (1993–1999)
Fran Drescher: Fran Fine, Fran Sheffield, Bobbi Flekman, Fran Drescher, Young Sylvia Fine
Photos
Quotes
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Mr. Sheffield : Miss Fine, what are you doing here?
Fran : Well, I heard moaning and screaming coming from your room and I figured... I should be part of it.
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Mr. Sheffield : He can't make you happy.
Fran : I don't wanna be happy. I wanna be married!
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Sylvia Fine : Yetta! These aren't Fran's children! Fran doen't have any children! She's not married, SHE'S ALL ALONE!
Fran : Louder, Ma, I don't think they heard you IN URUGUAY!
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Nigel Sheffield : I hope you don't mind me telling you one more time just how, how sexy you are.
Fran : Nope, still diggin' it.
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Fran : As appealing as Hepatitis sounds, yellow's just not my color.
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Grace 'Gracie' Sheffield : Look Fran, giant Barbie Dolls.
Fran : No Honey, these toys are for boys.
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Sylvia Fine : I'm having palpitations! QUICK! GET ME MY MEDICINE!
Fran : [running to the fridge and returning with chocolate syrup]
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Max : [Brighton has asked to go to Atlantic City, and has pitted Max and Fran against each other by saying that Max doesn't respect her opinion] I am his father!
Fran : Well, what am I?
Max : You're the nanny!
Fran : [gasps] You called me the "N" word! Did you head that, Niles?
Niles : Do you get the house in the settlement?
Fran : Uh-huh!
Niles : [pops his head out from behind a wall] Every word!
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Brighton Sheffield : Yeah, it just so happens that your voice carries.
Fran : To your bedroom?
Brighton Sheffield : To Michigan.
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Sylvia Fine : Major Nelson and Jeannie tied the knot.
Fran : If she had any commitment to that relationship, she would have given up her apartment.
Sylvia Fine : It was a bottle, they kept it on the mantle!
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[Fran and C.C. are trapped in the Sheffield's wine cellar and C.C. is forced to have Fran do her hair and nails]
Fran : [doing a harassed-looking C.C.'s nails] Mint Chocolate Chip, Jamocha Almond Fudge, Pralines and Cream... That's it. That's 30.
[Gasp]
Fran : Oh my God, they lied! 30's a lot. Was 31 so catchy? Wait a minute. I forgot the Sherbert. All right. I'll start again. Vanilla...
C.C. : STOP IT!
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Fran : [looking for something in her purse] What's this? Oh, it's my shrink's bill... *boy* am I unhappy!
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Sylvia Fine : Are you looking for something?
Fran : Yes!
Sylvia Fine : If she's three foot two and not a Jew, she's in there.
[points to bathroom]
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Fran : [about Max's childhood nanny, who is visiting] Meanwhile, she's scaring Gracie to death with those stories about that fat bear who can't even get through the door every time he has a decent meal.
Max : Are you talking about Winnie The Pooh?
Fran : Yeah, him. And who in his right mind would call a boy Winnie, let alone The Pooh?
Max : Most children love those stories!
Fran : Far be it for me to poo-poo the Pooh.
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Fran : Honey, as long as *I* am living under *your* roof you will do as I say.
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Brighton Sheffield : Oh, so you're pretending to be an actor?
Fran : No, you're thinking of Steven Seagal.
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Fran : ["analyzing" Corbin Bernsen, the former star of L.A. Law] Well... I can tell you're not a lawyer...
Glen Mitchell : Why can't I be a lawyer?
Fran : Well, not in New York... maybe L.A.
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[the family is opening wedding presents]
Fran : Box from Tiffany's...
Fran , Sylvia Fine : [in unison] THEIR side.
[Fran opens the box and pulls out a blender]
Fran : Blender from Costco...
Fran , Sylvia Fine : [in unison] *OUR* side.
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Fran : Oh my God. You're taking back the thing?
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Fran : We begged my mother for a Christmas tree, she called it a Chanukah Bush. P.S., the candles from the Menorah set the flocking on fire, and the fumes put my father into the emergency room.
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Fran : You're pretty cocky for a tall, handsome, rich charming guy.
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[after uncrossing her legs while being interrogated a la Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct"]
Fran : Ah-hah, forget it. You got a better chance of seeing Tonya Harding on a box of Wheaties.